Reporter #1: Welcome To Portland Cody. Tell Me Mr. Zeller, Why Did You Decide To Sign With Portland? Cody Zeller: I’ll Answer That Question In Two Words, The Fans! They Are….

probably the most loyal group of people in the entire NBA. I know for me personally, whenever I looked at the upcoming schedule all those years I was with the Hornets I couldn’t wait to play against the Trail Blazers just to be able to feel the energy of the crowd. I mean from the time the players come out of the tunnel for warmups until they head back down it when the last buzzer goes off the Moda Center is like a live wire. So you might say now that I am officially here, and part of this great team led by Damian, I am finally living my dream.

Reporter #2: Casey Holdahl, beat writer for the Trail Blazers. Hi Cody, like Rachel I too want to welcome you to Portland. You mentioned to her that your dream of playing professional basketball in the league really didn’t start until Neil Oshley convinced you and your agent to come here. Were you unhappy in Charlotte?

Cody Zeller: No sir, not at all. I will be forever grateful for Michael taking a chance on a 6’ 11" kid from Indiana, apparently he seen something in me that other owners didn’t. But really my dream started the night my name was called and I was drafted by the Hornets number four to then officially be an NBA player. My comment about a dream coming true by being here has to do with having the opportunity to play along side a sure fire first ballot Hall of Fame point guard in Damian. Because as much fun as I had with my teammates on the road or at home, it was never a good time when we ended up being on the business end of Dame Lillard tapping his wrist.

Reporter #3: Dwight Jaynes, NBC Sports Northwest. You don’t like it here, do you?!

Cody Zeller: Excuse me.

Reporter #3: Yeah, I can see it in you body language that you wish you were still with the Charlotte Hornets. And I suggest young man that you sit up straight and respect your elders when they are talking to you! I have been covering basketball for fifty years and am the utmost authority on all things basketball, so if you want to succeed while you are here, which by the way probably won’t be very long, unlike Terry Stotts you need to respect me! After all look what happened to him, he’s looking for another job right now. And it’s all because of me!

Cody Zeller: Next question. And for the love of God let it be from a different person.

Reporter #4. Hello Cody, John Canzana. And just so you know I am the creator and, well if I must say so, the star of my very own radio show. It’s called The Bald-Face Truth, and you have no doubt tuned in to listen to my in depth discussions about why I feel the the Blazers suck so badly when you’ve visited Portland in the past. Anyway, I’d like to take this moment to apologize for my esteemed colleagues inappropriate and uncalled for outburst towards you for no apparent reason. And oh yeah, what’s your thoughts on the upcoming season?

Cody Zeller: Uhhhhh, no I have never tuned into your stupid radio show, and by the way I never will. And my thoughts on the upcoming season is if I am ever interviewed again I’d rather crawl on my hand and knees through broken glass from here to the airport where I landed just an hour ago than to have to listen to you or that other fat guy before you. Who, and this is just my first impression of him so take it for what it’s worth, is trying to pass himself off as a reporter of the game of basketball and has failed miserably. Next question!

Reporter #1: It’s me again Cody, Rachel Nichols ESPN basketball analyst. But then you know that don’t you?

Cody Zeller: Yes Rachel I am well aware of who you are. Do you have a question, or are we done here?

Reporter #1: Hee-Hee-Hee……. Sorry Cody I thought I saw something shiny and it turned out it was just the sun reflecting of Dwights head. Anyway……… have you been to VooDoo donuts and had one of the big ones with bacon on it?

Dream like music begins to play while Cody’s body spasms and jerks, and then suddenly he bolts upright in his bed and sweating profusely realizes that what he just thought happened was only a nightmare, the worst nightmare that he could ever remember having. Sitting there amongst his sweat drenched sheets and covers he then begins to immediately question things. Not his decision to sign with the Trail Blazers, but whether or not he should ever allow anybody from the local press in Portland to interview him. Because even though he had just experienced a terrifying nightmare, sometimes truth is indeed stranger than fiction.

So what about you Trail Blazers fans. What’s the worst nightmare you can think of as far as things that could happen to cause Chaunceys new high stakes hobby to possibly go off the rails during the upcoming 2021-2022 campaign? Real or imagined let’s hear from you below.