The Portland Trail Blazers‘ record-setting win against the Phoenix Suns in their opening game of the 2017-18 NBA season has everybody in the Rose City in a good mood. The defense improved. Damian Lillard scored a ton. Jusuf Nurkic wrecked the court. Portland survived a CJ McCollum suspension. Heck, they even picked up Wade Baldwin for fun the day after. With everybody soaring high as the International Space Station, this seems like a good time to take a chance with the Blazer’s Edge Mailbag.
You may recall last week we answered nine Mailbag questions in just 45 total words, a feat never attempted before and never to be repeated. In the jovial comment section of that Mailbag, faithful reader RipCityAddiction responded with this:
I have a huge backlog of questions. You threw down the gauntlet. While you’re waiting for this afternoon’s contest with the Indiana Pacers to commence, let’s do this. Welcome to the Blazer’s Edge Mailbag, haiku version.
Did we learn anything from that Suns/Blazers game last night. Probably not.— Eric Saar (@Eric_Saar) October 20, 2017
Portland is focused
If you take them too lightly
You will leave in shame
(Also click here for a more nuanced answer.)
Is the 5 seed the ceiling for the Blazers this season? Do they have any shot at home court in the first round?— Jon Smart (@tssbro) October 20, 2017
What will seeds matter?
Home court will not grant you wins
The West is too tough
Are you missing Crabbe's presence on the court? Why or why not?— The real Pete Normal (@Bob_deegar) October 20, 2017
I miss him dearly
I did not get to use up
My crustacean jokes
What do you think of the trend of NBA players wearing low cut sneakers?— tominhawaii (@tominhawaii) October 20, 2017
I don’t get fashion
I walk around proudly in
My Pink Lillard 2’s.
From starting5 to Bench. Which Blazer(s) make the leap this year?
I’ll go with Meyers Leonard
to another team
(P.S. Nothing personal. He needs a fresh start.)
I’ve been a reader for some time, but, after reading Dave Deckard’s article this AM, I have decided to get my Blazers news elsewhere. Way too much negativity at a time when the world needs less. I’m assuming that Dave thinks he’s being cute. He’s being a third grader. Try writing with some character and compassion.
PS: I am not a big Meyers Leonard fan, but geez!
Sorry that I lack
Character and compassion
It’s all Meyers’ fault
You can’t complain about a 50 point win but I was a little worried about Nurk’s performance. With CJ out I expected more points. is he going to be all that?
Rebounds and passes
Jumpers and blocks will suffice
‘til post moves improve
PCON! [Pat Connaughton] 24 POINTS! HE’S ARRIVED AND NOT GOING BACK! JUST ADMIT IT, DAVE!
When CJ returns
He’ll be seen in warm-up gear
Like you’re seen in caps
His offense is atrocious
Why not Alec too?
Supposedly Nurk is waiting for restricted free agency instead of signing an extension. How will this affect what we pay him?
Whether now or then
Like arguing with one’s spouse
They’ll pay either way
Easy question. Name one key to the season nobody is talking about.
Win plenty early
The schedule gets much tougher
Once autumn departs
Dave! Game one has me feeling optimistic! For fun, let's assume all the Blazers' role players find their groove this season, and we enter the trade deadline stacked with valuable assets. Neil Olshey finally gets to execute a trade to take the team to The Next Level. Who do we target??
Trade talk already?
Ask again two months from now
And this time use “whom”
And that’s it, Blazers fans! No doubt you can do better, so ask—and haiku answers to—more Blazers questions in the comment section. If you want to send in your own Mailbag question for a non-haiku response, you can email it to firstname.lastname@example.org or DM @DaveDeckard.
Do you have any character and compassion? If so, maybe you can help send 2000 local Portland children and youth to see the Blazers face the Sacramento Kings in the Moda Center on February 27th. It’s simple! Just click here.