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New Ruling Invites Ad Suggestions for NBA Jerseys

The Board of Governors will allow advertisement on NBA jerseys beginning in 2017. Here are tongue-in-cheek sponsor suggestions for various teams.

Carlos Alvarez/Getty Images

Experiencing Trail Blazers-Warriors analysis paralysis? Can't take one more interview about Game 2 losses and Game 3 adjustments? Confused about the Blazers playing Game 1 of this series on 36 hours of rest but waiting three...whole...days between the second and third games?

Us too.

So here's a different kind of story...

The NBA Board of Governor's voted last month in favor of placing small ads on NBA jerseys beginning in 2017. ESPN's Darren Rovell has since reported via Twitter that the league has notified teams of certain restrictions in the types of companies that will be allowed to purchase on-jersey advertising space:

Those restrictions, however, have left open the option to sell ad space to some "interesting" companies. With that in, the Blazer's Edge staff has the following ad suggestions:

Portland Trail Blazers: Uncle Spliffy's Sports Cannabis

Oklahoma City Thunder: Seattle's Best Coffee

Los Angeles Clippers: Kleenex

Houston Rockets: Speedo, the choice of Olympic divers

Charlotte Hornets: Port-a-Potty: 24 of them in a row, each distinctly labeled, covering the whole rainbow!

Washington Wizards: Smith and Wesson

Toronto Raptors: Triumph Scramber Motorcycle, with Chris Pratt as spokesperson

Utah Jazz: Caffeine-free Diet Coke

Milwaukee Bucks: Microsoft Word Spell-Check (because Atenkum...Atemkomp...Atentokump...damnit)

Denver Nuggets: Fit-Bit

Chicago Bulls: Band-Aid

Sacramento Kings: Greyhound, then Trailways, then Amtrak (cuz switching coaches is always the answer)

Dallas Mavericks: Stetson

San Antonio Spurs: Jared: The Galleria of Jewelry

New Orleans PelicansSerf, by Hashicorp (they never did like the Gentry much)

Brooklyn Nets: New York Transit Authority

Memphis Grizzlies: AAA

Miami Heat: Banana Boat Sunscreen

Boston Celtics: Jim Beam Whiskey (mediocre, but number of shots will make up for it)

New York Knicks: United Auto Workers (cuz their GM is sinking them too)

Los Angeles Lakers: MySpace (super relevant, circa 2008)

Got some other ad suggestions? Let us know in the comments! We'll update the list with the best ones.


Credit to the Blazer's Edge staff for helping to compile this list, including akicks, Dave Deckard, Ryan Chase, David MacKay, and others.

We recognize that Rovell's list may not be complete - this is intended in good fun and not as a serious idea.