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As part of their new marketing/sales strategy for 2015-16 the Portland Trail Blazers are pitching what they call "Hands High" gear. That would be apparel with patches on the underarms to be revealed when hands are raised if photos are any indication.
The e-mail accompanying the pitch was titled, "Get 'em up, Trail Blazers fans", which I took as pretty funny in the first place. During years when the team is expected to struggle, marketing usually comes up with a slogan to keep the focus on fan behavior instead of team performance. The connotation of dispensing with all that and flat-out robbing us at gunpoint ("Get 'em up! I said CHEER!") was amusing. Then I saw the pic and realized...uhhhh...that wasn't what they were talking about.
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Ohhhhh...heyyyyy. Yeah. Awkward.
So there you have it, Blazers fans. The 2015-16 Trail Blazers aren't robbing you, they're making a booty call. "Hey baby, I know we broke up and I'm not doin' so good right now but damn, I still want you. Why don't you come on over, just for a night? And baby, wear that shirt with the underarms..."