Game Time: 4:30 p.m. TV: CSNNW
Let's just get this over with. The Cleveland Ca(da)valiers are a very, very, very, very, very bad team. Very. Normally I try to compare matchups and figure out how each team could win this one, but the ex-LeBrons are just laughing in my face as I try it. Let's put it this way. On November 27th they were 7-9. Today they're 8-42. You're going to need a hefty pocket abacus to figure out how many losses that makes. It's a ton. As you probably already know, Cleveland's big motivation tonight is to avoid the longest single-season losing streak in NBA history. History is a long time.
We're talking a team who's best player--by far-is 102-year-old Antawn Jamison. We're talking about a team that can't score 94 points per night and that gives up 105.5. That's about the equivalent of pairing New Jersey's offense with Golden State's defense. It's like you melded two amazing teams together to make a superpower and sent their other halves to Cleveland. It's like Paul Simon and Cher went on tour and Cleveland got tickets to Sonny and Garfunkel. It's like going to a double-feature of Phantom Menace and Matrix 3. They can call it a movie or a concert or, in this case, "basketball" but only the truly masochistic can enjoy it.
In short, I can't think of a single reason the Cadavaliers should beat the Blazers tonight. Well...maybe one and a half. Portland is capable of playing rotten games. Witness last night's effort in Indiana. Plus there's that whole "longest losing streak ever" thing. Portland fans wouldn't be completely shocked to see the Blazers save Cleveland from that distinction. The reaction would be more like, "That figures!"
But that's exactly what it's going to take: a horrible, rotten, we-don't-care effort. If the Blazers turn in that kind of night they deserve what they get. We don't, though. And neither do Cleveland fans.
Read about the Cavaliers (if you dare) at the now-somewhat-ironically-named Fear The Sword.
Enter tonight's Jersey Contest form here.
--Dave (blazersub@yahoo.com)