At some point way back during this interminable NBA lockout, a Portlander who has dubbed himself R.C. Sincebirth posted a hilarious resume that made the case he should take over the Portland Trail Blazers GM reins.
Once Sincebirth read that former NBA All-Star Terrell Brandon claims that he is qualified to become Blazers GM because he can operate scissors and drive a limousine, Sincebirth informed me that his candidacy remains active.
Sincebirth says he played on "B" basketball teams throughout much of the 1980s and is skilled at both "sitting courtside at games" and "flippantly passing judgment." He points out the following biographical details that represent his experience.
- Played TONS of dunk hoop on (adjustable) hoop well into my 20's against my brother-in-law and friends, so communicating with players used to playing "above the rim" comes quite naturally to me
- Played A LOT of "21" and "Knock-out" (aka "bump"), which translates to a lot of street cred
- Still know all the words to "Rip City Rhapsody" (RAD)
- Never knew the words to "Bust-a-Bucket" (LAME)
- Listened regularly to Mychal Thompson and Kermit Washington on sports radio show in ‘90s
After carefully reviewing the full resume, I'm inclined to place Sincebirth above Brandon on the Future Blazers GM power rankings list, however the video game reviewer who traded Blazers forward Luke Babbitt for Los Angeles Clippers forward Blake Griffin remains in the top spot. Former Miami Heat executive Randy Pfund is not listed.
The Blazers GM position has remained open since former GM Rich Cho was abruptly fired back in May.
-- Ben Golliver | email@example.com | Twitter