FanPost

Trade Machine Pornography: A Poem (Song?)

A poem, as requested by TominHawaii concerning Blazers Fans' willingness to dump everyone we have for anyone else. I tried to fit in every point guard(-ish) type that fans have wanted to trade for since the Lottery happened, and that is a lot.

8 8 8 8

Hey guys, come now, let's admit it,
You've watched the pretty girls walk by.
You have dreamed what it would be like,
To stare them direct in the eye.

To have them and hold them closely,
Would be for you a great delight.
Until the one you're with sees you,
At which point you're now in a fight.

(Refrain)
For Blazer fans who go lusting,
A new point guard is that sexy girl.
Trade Machine's their pornography,
For one they'll give away the world.

It started innocent enough,
Lusting after Christopher Paul.
Thinking cap space ‘lone would net us,
The sexiest point of them all.

If that choice was too ambitious,
Deron Williams was also hot.
But barring GM witlessness,
All these dreams but accomplish naught.

Now disgruntled with what we have.
The girl we've got is far too plain.
The lust can not be satisfied,
Time to use Trade Machine again.

(Refrain)
For Blazer fans who go lusting,
A new point guard is that sexy girl.
Trade Machine's their pornography,
For one they'll give away the world.

Bench play is our greatest of strengths,
But lust of ours burns hot and bright.
Who can we quickly give away,
To fulfill our fickle hearts delight?

Calderon is somewhat sexy,
Devin Harris looks kinda fine.
Ellis and Barbosa aren't bad.
But to us would appear sublime.

But the cost, good Lord what a cost,
To get a breath of their fragrance.
We'd have to give up half the team
Our bench would be filled by vagrants.

(Refrain)
For Blazer fans who go lusting,
A new point guard is that sexy girl.
Trade Machine's their pornography,
For one they'll give away the world.

There are other hot girls out there,
But their presence is most baneful.
Their attitude will kill the mood,
And remind of days quite painful.

The Bulls would love to dump Hinrich,
His constant pouting's been that bad.
Baron, he disappears for days,
And doesn't always come back glad.

Gordon thinks he is number one,
And wants to get paid like it too.
Arenas is just plain crazy,
Our team would become quite a zoo.

(Refrain)
For Blazer fans who go lusting,
A new point guard is that sexy girl.
Trade Machine's their pornography,
For one they'll give away the world.

Billups looks pretty good right now,
But age is looming fast ahead.
Andre Miller was ne'er sexy,
And now he's almost nearly dead.

TJ Ford is an invalid,
He could die if he even fell.
Are we really quite that desperate?
Are we so quick our own to sell?

Apparently, the answer's yes,
Because we quickly pine away.
For Conley, Felton and Sessions,
Even Udrih has got some play.

(Refrain)
For Blazer fans who go lusting,
A new point guard is that sexy girl.
Trade Machine's their pornography,
For one they'll give away the world.

So desperate is the Blazer fan,
That we will look for sexy teens.
Rose and Mayo and Bayless tempt,
Even Westbrook is in our dreams.

But will even they satisfy?
All this is for just one reason.
Blazer fans do lust heavily,
Our own were "too plain" last season.

Fortunately, fans aren't in charge,
KP's there to keep us steady.
If we bring our points back next year,
That will be the move that's most heady.

(Refrain)
For Blazer fans who go lusting,
A new point guard is that sexy girl.
Trade Machine's their pornography,
For one they'll give away the world.

(Repeat)