You come to Blazers Edge for exclusives. Such as last night when I told you know that we were trading for DJ Augustin. Whoops. Ok.
So hopefully this makes up for that.
Here is a Blazersedge exclusive interview with.... my dad. This evening, while returning home from a business trip in Phoenix, he had the pleasure of running into one of the Trail Blazers!
The following is a transcript of our conversation, reprinted to the best of my recollection.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
Blazersedge: From exchanging messages with you earlier, I understand Mr. Jerryd Bayless was on your flight to Portland this evening. How exciting! What a scoop! Was he cool? What did he look like? Is he a future Hall of Famer?
Ben's Dad: Yes, Jerryd was on my flight.
Well, actually, I know I emailed you to tell you that about 2 hours ago, but I was completely wrong.
Blazersedge: WHAT?!?!? I even emailed Dave I was so excited. COME ON.
Ben's Dad: It wasn't him. It turns out that it was (whispers) Channing Frye. I don't know the Blazers well enough to know who is who. I'm sorry about that.
Blazersedge: With all due respect, sir, father... you are six foot five. Mr. Frye stands at least 4 inches taller than you. Didn't his height-- say, when he was inevitably ducking to avoid the overhead bins-- tip you off that perhaps this wasn't our highly sought-after incoming point guard? Come on, man, you played basketball in high school [ed. note: like 50 years ago] you should know these things.
Ben's Dad: I mean, in hindsight, yes, that makes a lot more sense.
Blazersedge: Look, there's no excuse. I was under the impression that you are a daily reader here at the Edge. At least that's what you've been telling me when I email you links to my 25,000 word interviews with Blazers employees. Just this evening, I posted 4 videos of Bayless and, sure, they were grainy and set to blaring hip hop and mixed by 8th graders but in none of the videos does Mr. Bayless look the least bit like Mr. Frye. You had my hopes up!
Ben's Dad: Ok, ok, take a Xanax. Settle down. Hold on a second?
Blazersedge: Why, what's wrong?
Ben's Dad: Sorry, I was still a few feet away from Channing here in the baggage claim. I didn't want him to think I was some kind of nerd gushing about meeting him as soon as I stepped off the plane.
What a nice guy. He was posing for pictures with everyone, putting his arm around them. He just really connected with the people.
Speaking of, I really wanted to bring up your whole Honor Terry Porter thing... but I didn't want to be one of "those fans," I'm sure he gets sick of that kind of thing.
Blazersedge: Dagger. I'm speechless. Completely uncalled for. Just a low blow.
Ben's Dad: ....... Yeah, I don't know, sorry about that, that didn't quite come out right. Well, sorry for the confusion. Anyway, here's his autograph. That makes us even, right?
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
Postscript: As you can tell, Mr. Frye was nice enough to autograph the inside of my father's paperback. For a deep look into my family's soul, here's the book my dad was reading.
The NBA: Where..... this..... happens.
I only wish I was creative enough to make this up.
-- Ben (benjamin.golliver@gmail.com)