clock menu more-arrow no yes mobile

Filed under:

You Be The Santa

You probably haven't heard yet but... surprise.... it's Christmas season!  Which begs the all-time most difficult question, "Why are reindeers so hot?" "What should we give the 12 guys in our lives who have it all?"

Dave and I sat down, drank some warm cocoa, put on our matching knit sweaters and elf ears, and tried to come up with our best gift ideas for each Blazer.  We either knocked this out of the park or failed miserably, it's hard to tell. I guess that makes you guys judge and jury.

Lamarcus Aldridge

  • Dave: A nice, clear Christmas lane...to drive down.
  • Ben: A spot in the All Star 3 point contest so his unmatched ability to hit uncontested 3s will finally be appreciated.

Nicolas Batum

  • Dave: A few fourth-quarter minutes in the stocking.
  • Ben: A courtesy 3rd place vote for Rookie of the Year in honor of his contributions.

Jerryd Bayless

  • Dave: A face massage and a defender or two with no lateral movement.
  • Ben: A blog.  Definitely give this man his dang blog already. I'm fiending!

Steve Blake

  • Dave: A shiny, new contract.
  • Ben: A set of rear view mirrors so he can keep one eye on Sergio and the other on Jay Bay.

Ike Diogu

  • Dave: A put-back jam for old time's sake.
  • Ben: The bat phone's number so he has something to do on the bench.

Rudy Fernandez

  • Dave: A good razor and a green light on the step-back three.
  • Ben: A butterfly net to catch the lingerie that gets tossed his way.

Channing Frye

  • Dave: A couple dozen of shot attempts.  Don't spend them all in one game!
  • Ben: A sit down with Bobby Knight.

Raef LaFrentz

  • Dave: A heretofore undiscovered trade kicker.
  • Ben: A highlight reel of his time in Dallas.

Greg Oden

  • Dave: A baby hook.  Take care of it and it will grow up into a full-on hook.  Then you will be feared.
  • Ben: Noise-cancelling headphones.

Travis Outlaw

  • Dave: Some fan support.
  • Ben: A trampoline, a video camera and a blindfold. Can you imagine what might happen?

Joel Przybilla

  • Dave: A coupon for one free three-point launch.
  • Ben: A trophy. Of any kind. He deserves it.

Shavlik Randolph

  • Dave: A minute on the court.
  • Ben: Free trip to this year's Final Four so he can watch Kyle Singler bring home the hardware.

Sergio Rodriguez

  • Dave: Another Spaniard to pass to.
  • Ben: A new agent.

Brandon Roy

  • Dave: 52 thank-you notes plus a free ring sizing, just in case.
  • Ben: Brandon Claus doesn't need gifts from us mortals.

Martell Webster

  • Dave: A healthy foot.
  • Ben: Please, please, please a healthy foot!

There you have it... Please leave your best gift suggestions for the Blazers in the comments and then feel free to click on the Best Buy logo below 732 times per DAVE'S EXPLANATION HERE.

-- Ben (benjamin.golliver@gmail.com)

 

BallHype: hype it up!