clock menu more-arrow no yes

Filed under:

The Oden Story

New, comments

There seems to be a bit of...tension floating around Blazer Nation with regards to Greg Oden, pressure, expectations, and what have you.  Yeah...just a little tension.

So, to clear up the matter for everyone from Mr. Oden himself down to our newest reader, here's the most respected analyst we have, author of seminal professional basketball texts such as "Goodnight (Jamario) Moon" and "The Efficacy of the Zone Defense in Preventing Bedtime", the Blazers' own 2026 first round pick...Baby Point Guard!

OK, Greg, I understand that the expectations could be weighing you down like a post-nap diaper, so let me 'splain to you how this whole thing is going to go down on opening night in Portland.  First of all, don't worry, 'cuz Baby Point Guard has got your back.  Now, we're going to meet pre-game to discuss strategy.  I'm already excited!

Baby1_medium
Then we're going to have a pre-game rubdown to loosen up.

Baby2_medium 

After that comes your big introduction.  "At center, #52, Greg OOOOOOOOOOOOOOODEN!!!!"

Baby3_medium 

Then you're going out there to show them what you've got.  Everybody will be happy!

Baby7_medium

After the game we'll cool down in the whirlpool.

Baby4_medium 

And then it's back to my place for some drinks and relaxation!

Baby5_medium 

Just don't bogart my Dew, Greg.  I hate it when people bogart my Dew.  Oh geez, here come the shakes again.

Anyway, you got nothin' to worry about.  Neither does anyone else.  We're gonna all be fine.  Hey, can you get me another 2-liter on your way out?

Yep...that's my boy.  He's pretty much got a handle on it.  Greg and us...we'll all be fine.  Just need to get playing, that's all.

--Dave (blazersub@yahoo.com)