clock menu more-arrow no yes

Filed under:

Player-by-Player: Fred Jones

New, comments

Today's subject is hometown super-sub Freddie Jones.  He was a mid-season addition and provided a few spectacular moments and a few ugly ones as well.  Our first guest today seems to be pretty high on him though, at least if his demeanor is any indication...

                                       

Hoo-HOOO!  Freddies?  I love Freddies!  You know the most wonderful thing about Freddies?  They BOUNCE!  Like THIS!  Sproing!  Sproing!  Sproing!  You should SEE how high Freddies can bounce!  Not as high as Tiggers, of course, but really close!  They throw the ball through the hoop-thing.  Hoo-HOOO!  Everybody likes that!  I think it would be more fun to bounce ON the ball but maybe that's a special trick only Tiggers can do.   Freddies are good and kind.  They never do anything wrong or get into trouble.  And they share the ball with all their friends so everybody has a chance to play with it!  Freddies can shoot free throws too!  The best thing of all is when they go like this:  Sproing...AND ONE!  Sproing...AND ONE!  Sproing...AND ONE!  Hoo-hoo-HOOOOOroowaararrraaaaaaaar!  That's my favorite!  Sproing...AND ONE!  Sproing...AND ONE!  Sproing...AND ONE!  Sproing...AND ONE!  

Okay.  Okay!  OKAAAAAAAAAAY!  I think that's enough Tigger commentary for now.  Somebody get that thing some Ritalin.  Fortunately our opposing point of view comes from a slightly calmer source.

                                        

Oh dear.  Thanks for noticing me.  I'm probably all wrong like usual, but I worry about Freddie.  His shooting is...not very good.  People say it's because he hurt his hand but I looked at his past history and...oh dear.  Forty-two percent is the best he ever shot and that was a long time ago.  Also he's a little (sigh) heavy.  The coach wants him to lose some pounds but that's not easy.  Unless, of course, you lose your tail.  But I think his is attached.  Being heavy is extra hard when your tail is attached.  And compared to most folks he's short too.  The coach says he wants to make him a point guard but that's like turning a Tigger into a Piglet.  I don't see how it's gonna work.  (sigh)   It probably won't.  Besides, he likes to shoot and if he was a point guard he'd probably want to shoot all the time.  That would make EnglandDa... uhhhh... Christopher Robin and all the other folks mad.  Probably the coach too.  It's easy to get mad at the short, heavy guy.  He should probably just stay in the corner and eat thistles out of everybody's way.  Also the Blazers will probably end up drafting ninth.  Or they'll draft first and the phone they're using to call in the pick won't work.  (sigh)  That's what always happens, isn't it?

Uhhhh...thanks Eeyore.  Solid stuff.  Go easy on those meds though.  Better yet, give them to Tigger.

So are you more of a Tigger-type who's excited about Freddie or are you on the Eeyore end and pessimistic?  He had a couple of pretty good games but he also had some non-factor showings so you could really go either way.  His stats are here if you care to peruse them.  Note also the Game Log tab...that'll show you his production in each outing so you can separate the Toronto stuff from here if desired.

--Dave (blazersub@yahoo.com)