clock menu more-arrow no yes mobile

Filed under:

Proposed Solution

As expected the Blazer corner of cyberspace is infested with people reacting to Zach/Darius and Canzano and columns and strip clubs and (sigh)...

I don't really get all the furor since it wasn't much of an infraction (compared to some others) and it really wasn't that significant of a column either (in terms of giving us anything new or anything to chew on).  But it's become apparent to me that this is going to go on and on into perpetuity no matter how silly it all is.  Somebody has to come up with a way to resolve it.  I guess that somebody is me.  

Here's my proposal:

We lock Zach, Darius, and John Canzano in a room.  We can't have them fight because that would be unfair to John (Zach and Darius being pro athletes).  We can't have them write because that would be unfair to Zach and Darius (John being a pro writer).  So we're going to have them draw.  With crayons.  Each party gets to make a picture of the other one.  (Zach and Darius have to collaborate to make it fair.)  Whichever picture is better (either creatively or at least with better stinky lines emanating from the subject) is declared the winner.  If Zach and Darius lose they have to swear off the strip clubs and questionable rendezvous(es) while in Portland.  If they can't get through a whole off-season doing so they need to spend the off-season in Vegas.  If John loses he has to swear off writing about the strip clubs and questionable rendezvous(es) unless and until a criminal conviction is obtained in one of these cases.

And that is that.  Trust me, the Blazer world will be a lot better place for it.

--Dave (