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Preseason Snapshots: Western Conference

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Here's the second part of our Pre-Season Preview in 90 seconds or less (with the help of a few pop culture icons).  This time it's the Western Conference's turn.  Again the order is roughly by last year's finish 







DALLAS MAVERICKS--Peter Jackson

Tons of talent but may spend a lifetime trying to reprise the big hit.







SAN ANTONIO SPURS--Seinfeld

You've seen it before a dozen times, but you'll watch again because they're that good.







PHOENIX SUNS--Jeanie Buss

Looks fantastic, amazing financial outlook, but still can't get the ring.

(P.S.  Shame on you, Phil Jackson.)







MEMPHIS GRIZZLIES--The Butabi Brothers

At this rate they're going to have a very hard time scoring.







LOS ANGELES CLIPPERS--Easy Rider

Cool guys, will have fun, and may go a long way, but it's doubtful they'll see a happy ending.







LOS ANGELES LAKERS--Saturday Night Live

Used to be relevant, now just a sad parody of themselves.







DENVER NUGGETS--Lindsay Lohan

Has talent and looks fine but...well... tick...tick...tick....







SACRAMENTO KINGS--The 40 Year Old Virgin

Really nice guys who have been at it a long time with no results.







UTAH JAZZ--Donny and Marie Osmond

Easy to dismiss, but they've got a little bit of talent and may see some success.







NEW ORLEANS/OKLAHOMA CITY HORNETS--Willy Wonka

A bizarre owner ushers in a departure from normal reality.  Could be sweet, could be a disaster.







SEATTLE SUPERSONICS--The Warren Commission

Despite rumors to the contrary there's only one real shooter.







HOUSTON ROCKETS--Anna Nicole Smith

Big comeback depends on two substantial assets.







GOLDEN STATE WARRIORS--The "Million Dollar Man" Ted DiBiase

Tough as nails, throws money around, known for giving the top guys a run for their money on any given night, but never makes it to the Promised Land.







MINNESOTA TIMBERWOLVES--Three's Company

Never quite the same after the cast changes.







And because we're nothing if not fair...
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PORTLAND TRAILBLAZERS--Cletus the Slack-Jawed Yokel

Socially awkward, occasionally embarrassing.  Hitting it big in the lottery is the best (some would say only) hope for long-term success.




--Dave (blazersub@yahoo.com)