This is hopefully the last post I will have to make about what is inappropriate content on PtR.

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Oh my God. I am so sorry I am just now writing this.  I never saw it. I'm sure you posted it and I just missed it., but this is pretty much the coolest thing ever:

Thank you. It's perfect and beautiful.  I have no idea how you make these things work.  It blows my mind, and not many things do.  (In case some readers don't know, it's an ambigram.  The text can be rotated 180 degrees and it's spells the same word.)

I need to get this permanently displayed on the main page (with your permission).  I'll work on that over Thanksgiving.

This might not make much sense, but I had a shitty fucking day and this cheered up.  Thanks again.

Before posting a picture or a link, ask yourself the following questions.  If the answer to any of them is "Yes," then don't post it.

1.  Would the picture offend the most austere of nuns?
2.  Does it make you tingle in your special place?
3.  Could a hard copy of the picture be used as a form of currency in a maximum security male prison?
4.  If the picture were of your sister, would it make you feel weird to post it?
5.  Would you feel uncomfortable making it your background at work?

Look.  We can all find pictures of cheerleaders on the internet.  Don't post them here.  If you guys keep it up, I'll start posting pics of my ass.  Nobody wants that.  Trust me.  Trust me.

I don't need to read the rumor mills or the musings of a beat writer.  The Spurs are not trading for Eddy Curry.  We're talking about a perennially out of shape player known for his laziness.  He also has a well-publicized heart condition and player options for the next two years at more than $10 million per.  He's also a worse defensive rebounder than Fabricio Oberto.  The.  Spurs.  Are.  Not.  Trading.  For.  Eddy.  Curry.

Now if he was 35 it would be another story...

I thoroughly enjoyed watching this game.  I never knew watching a cast of misfits trying to play basketball could be so therapeutic and relaxing.

I love our scrubs.  Love them.  I have to give them each their proper due, in order of descending scrubitude and ascending love.

George Hill
Chances of leaving scrubdom:  35%
Tattoos:  Oh hellz yes.

George just might have a worse jump shot that Jacque Vaughn.  It's got a hell of an arc, though.  Maybe he thinks the ball will be up there long enough for Pop to forget who shot it.  He's got crazy long arms and would already be a better defender than Jacque Vaughn if he dove on the floor more.  Diving on the floor is like the ace of spades in the card game spades.  It trumps all other defensive attributes.  Blocked shots?  Pfft.  Get on the ground!

Desmon Farmer
Chances of leaving scrubdom:  5%
Tattoos:  Yes ma'am!

You know something I love about Desmon?  He ended up with the ball at the first quarter buzzer, and instead of handing the ball to the ref he dribbled the ball behind his back and did a spin move.  Against nobody.  Just goofing off.  Plus he wears a headband.  Two anti-Spur qualities.  I'd give this man a long term contract just for those two attributes.

I think him and George might have a contest to see who can shoot the ball highest.  I'm pretty sure one of his fourth quarter jumpers got caught in the walkways of Tropicana Field.  He seemed confused when it was ruled a ground rule double.  There's no shame in that, Desmon.  Confused the hell out of me, too.

I would give Farmer a better chance to make it if he hadn't have lost his right hand in a tragic childhood weed wacker accident.  The man simply cannot dribble with his right hand.  It's comical.

Anthony Tolliver
Chances of leaving scrubdom:  -372%
Tattoos:  Soon, promise.

I love Anthony Tolliver.  I'm thinking about getting a uterus transplant just so I can have his baby. 

On his first touch of the ball he faked a three and made a Ginobili-esque pass to Duncan down low for the and 1.  It made me laugh, because I'm pretty sure he was just afraid to shoot the ball.  And with good reason, for his first attempt from the same exact spot missed the rim and clanged violently off the background.  Violently.  I think Tim nearly chipped a nail on that shit.  He was not happy.

Anthony's one of those guys who can play a whole game without giving the viewer any idea of how tall he is.  He could be anywhere between 6'-2" and 6'-10".  I don't have the foggiest.  He just sort of blends in.  Like a chameleon.  A chameleon who barely made his high school basketball team.

That's the list.  I know you're thinking I'm leaving some guys out.  Not so, my friends.  Jacque Vaughn, Michael Finley, Bruce Bowen and Kurt Thomas are not scrubs.  They're washed up.  There's a difference.  Oh, and Bonner and Oberto just plain suck.  Scrubness requires a certain charm that those two fellas lack.

As for the Spurs outlook?  Well, Parker's out two weeks.  Here's the schedule during that time:

NY
@ MIL
HOU
@SAC
@LAC
DEN
UTA
@MEM

That's about as easy a schedule you could hope for in the Western Conference.  HOU, DEN and UTA are definite losses.  The best the Spurs should hope for is 4 wins in that group.  That leaves them at 5-8 when TP comes back.

By the way, right now the Spurs have the second worst record in the league.

Lastly, a quick note to Michael Beasley.  Get a hair cut.  That do needs a lot of help, but stay away from Marion's barber.  Something ain't right about that man.

Do you like the Spurs?  Can you put together semi-coherent thoughts while using 3rd grade level punctuation?  Then we have a job for you!

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I'm sorry, ok?  I have been busy, and if it makes you feel any better, my life is more or less miserable.  It's not that school is hard.  It's not.  It's just not what I was expecting.  I'm not doubting my (new) choice of careers, but I thought it the experience would be more enjoyable.

Many thanks go out to AusTechSpur for keeping this place up and running.  I need to call you and stuff.  I owe you some Thai food at the least.

So, the Spurs.  I tried to get into them once during the preseason.  I was in the car, trolling for something to listen to, when I remembered AM radio still exists.  So I flipped over to WOAI and lo and behold, the Spurs were on!  The announcer mentioned Jacque Vaughn.

I turned off the radio.

I have no interest in watching (or listening to) Jacque Vaughn play basketball.  The same goes for Finley, Thomas, Bonner, Oberto, Bowen and Udoka (though part of me is intrigued that he might FtFO and shiv somebody).  Watching the Spurs has, to me, become like watching a small Tennessee town's production of Rent.  You know it's going to be absolutely atrocious in parts, but you watch it to see how horribly they butcher and bastardize the intent of the musical.  You could have the original cast members playing Mimi, Roger and Mark, but it wouldn't matter because they would cast some preacher's wife as Maureen and take Angel totally out of the show.

You remember my "Problem with the Spurs" post?  My reaction to the comments from that post made me realize something:  I don't write this blog as a Spurs fan.  I am a Spurs fan, but my writing is more an (possibly poorly executed attempt at an) analysis of the Spurs / NBA.  I'm not saying you're going to learn anything reading this blog; I'm saying you're not going to see me writing about the silver lining.  I'm just not much of a liar, except when it comes to my family, but that's only because I'm morally obligated to tell them what they want to hear.

The Spure ain't winning shit this year.  That doesn't mean you shouldn't watch / root / hope / pray that they will.  But they're not.  I don't know exactly how it's going to go down, but here's an outline.

1.  Pop continues to rely on his older players, with Finley, Oberto, Bowen and Kurt Thomas getting way too many minutes.  Mason will play early in the season and get screamed at more than he deserves.  He'll then get a minor injury, which will lead Pop to say something like:

“He's hurt again,” Popovich said, “and those 35 minutes, or so, that I wanted to see him play each game isn't going to happen. They're doing an MRI again today to see if he can take the cast off and go the next step. Obviously, at this late date, he's not going to be ready to do anything in the playoffs.

“It will be tough for him, because once we start the playoffs, interjecting players who haven't been in the program really is difficult. That's a disappointment, without any doubt.”

2.  Duncan starts the season slow, leading to Tony carrying too much of the burden.  He'll get dinged up and spend the reason of the season at 85-90%.

3.  George Hill plays about as much as I do.

4.  Ginobili comes back when expected, doesn't look right, and gets sat back down for a couple weeks in Februaryish.

5.  Both Parker and Duncan will spend some time on the DL.

6.  There will be some stretch of games in the second half of the season where Manu plays totally out his fucking gourd for a couple of weeks, and we'll all hope.  (Except for me, of course.  Because I'm here to make you all miserable.)

7.  The Spurs will be lingering around the 6th seed in February, and Pop will start with the whole "You have to win on the road in the playoffs anyway" bullshit, and he'll go into disguised tank mode.   We'll start seeing Vaughn, Bowen, Udoka, Bonner and Oberto lineups in non-blowout situations.

8.  Michael Finley ups his fiber pill intake from two to four per day.

9.  Pop says "We're just trying to get everybody healthy for the playoffs."

10.  Spurs fans start talking about the real season starting.

11.  The Spurs finish with 48-49 wins and the seventh seed.

12.  The Spurs lose in the first round in six games to either the Lakers, New Orleans or Houston.

That's how I see it going down.  I still plan on watching, and I still am looking forward to the season.  Seriously.  I'm going to try and not think about the waning years of Tim's career, and how they're being squandered.  Instead I'll relish the games where Tony gets all pissy and decides to embarrass the opposing PG for four quarters.  And the games where Tim gets 24 and 15 and doesn't break a sweat, or the times when Manu reminds me how much better he is than Ray Allen.  It might be all the season affords us, but gosh dang it, it's something.

When I look in the mirror, I can't believe what I see.

Tell me, who's that funky dude, staring back at me?

"Funky?"  I'm the least funky person you know, Rivers.  I'm 31, bald, plainly-bearded, divorced, have a M.S. in structural engineering from Berkeley and just started pharmacy school at UT-Austin.  I am as funkless as I am (occasionally) feckless.  I am the anti-funk.  Though I do have a suede couch.  Holla.

Broken, beaten down can't even get around
Without an old-man cane, I fall and hit the ground

Oh piss the hell off, Rivers.  I'm just sore from playing flag football.  Yeah, I know, yesterday I had trouble walking at a brisk pace.  All that sprinting messed up my "I'm-used-to-running-at-moderate-to-slow-speeds-for-long-periods-of-time" leg muscles.  And yes, I nearly ripped my both of my big toenails off due to cleats that were a half-size too small and toenails that I guess needed trimming.  And yes, I'm older than all but 2 of the 125 people in my class, but I don't walk with a cane.  So blow me.

Excuse the bitchin, I shouldn't complain
I should have no feeling, 'cause feeling is pain

I'll hand it to you, Rivers, you got this part right.  I shouldn't complain.  My life is easy.  But I don't think I bitch all that much, except to my therapist.  But I pay him, so that's different.  God, I would kill for some rigatoni right now.  You ever feel that way, Rivers?  Like you would kill for pasta?

Everything I need, is denied me
And everything i want, is taken away from me
But who do I got to blame? Nobody but me

Speaking of my therapist, have you been talking to him?  'Cause I do blame myself for everything.  Right again, old chap.

…And I don't wanna be an old man anymore
It's been a year or two since I was out on the floor

ok, you lost me hear.  I don't dance.  I've never danced.  Once, at the eighth grade dance, I did a single jumping jack on the dance floor as a joke.  And that fucker Jimmy Redacted never let me live it down.  Cocksucker, that one.  That and the fact my upper and lower extremities are separated by a derhythmatized zone have rendered me danceless.  And you know this, Rivers.  You know this.

Shakin' booty, makin' sweet love all the night
It's time I got back to the Good Life

Dude, whatever.  Even if I ever did or could, you know I am not the type of guy to talk about it.

It's time i got back, it's time i got back
And I don't even know how I got off the track

Actually, I do know how I got off track.  I'm in therapy, remember?  We talk about these things.  Maybe you should stick to writing songs about yourself.  And maybe it was more like 3 jumping jacks, but he still could have let it go.

I wanna go back…Yeah!

Everyone wants to go back.  Everyone.  You sing it like it's a weakness in me.  If you don't want to go back it means you've never been any place worth staying, and that's much more damning that pining for the past.  I miss a little bit of many times of my life.  You wouldn't know which parts I'm talking about because you never really listen.  You're too busy writing the same song over and over again.  ok.  I'm sorry Rivers.  That was mean.

Screw this crap, I've had it! (I've had it!) I ain't no Mr. Cool.

Yes!  You got that God damn right, Rivers.  I ain't no Mr. Cool.  Who gives a shit?  Right now I don't.  Some time tomorrow I will.  Multitudes and such.  One day I'll get to Whitman, I promise.  And Hemingway.  I've never read Hemingway.  I know!

I'm a pig, I'm a dog, so 'scuse me if I drool

What?  A pig?  You're just fucking with me, right?

I ain't gonna hurt nobody, ain't gonna 'cause a scene

Yeah, I'm not too fond of hurting people.  It's under the false pretense that if I never hurt any one then I will never get hurt.  Turns out this isn't true.  So it goes.  And yes, I've read that one, Rivers.  God, you are such a condescending prick sometimes.

I just need to admit that I want sugar in my tea.
Hear me!  Hear me!  I want sugar in my tea!

Wait, what?  Could you know think of another word that rhymes with "scene?"  What about "I just need to admit that I have a crush on Charlie Sheen."  Or "I wear Maybelline."  Or "boop boop boo boo weeee!"  And you drink green tea, anyways.  Who puts sugar in green tea?  Oh wait, this is about me... I forgot.  But I don't drink tea.  Never have.  That shit is the gross.

Via mysa.com.

Micheal Finley is 35.  He'll turn 36 during the 08-09 season.  Players typically do not improve from age 35 to 36.  Therefore, the Spurs just willingly got worse.  Which is great, because we really had surplus awesome last year.

Thanks to everyone for contributing.  Special thanks to PtR member AusTechSpur for all his efforts.  The donations came to a total of $344.63 after PayPal fees.  Plus the $350 I am kicking in and that's $694.63.  That's a lot of Schlotzsky's.  I ate there today.  I asked for no black olives.  There were black olives on my sandwich.  Whose dumb ass idea was it to put black olives on a damned ham sammich anyway?  Does anyone even like black olives?  They taste like rotten licorice.

The check will go in the mail tomorrowish.  Thanks again.