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Game 71 Non-Preview: Blazers vs. Sonics

I was going to write a preview for this game, but it's the Sonics.  They're 16-54.  They've lost 14 of their last 15 games and that 15th was against Minnesota...in overtime.  They don't need a preview.  They need help, or at least sympathy.

Since I have some of the latter for the situation up north and since song-writing has become popular around here for the last few days (see the EXCELLENT payoff from ClipsNation in the diaries to the right) I decided we'd give them something musical.

This is based on the Gordon Lightfoot epic "The Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald".  It seemed appropriate.

(guitar intro)

The legend is told in the NBA fold
Of the venue they call Key Arena
She's near Puget Sound and she's kind of run down
As attest all the people who've seen her

For 40-odd years the Sonics drew cheers
Which cascaded down from the rafters
But April '08 will bring them their fate
And they will not be heard there thereafter

Things started to slip way back in `06
When Starbucks' sure progress was failing
The owners refused to pay up their dues
And said, "See ya later, we're bailing!"

A kind soul stepped in with a wide, homespun grin
And a deep-driven well of cheap prattle
He said, "Rest assured, I give you my word
We'll be keeping this team in Seattle."

But back in his home where the cattle all roam
He spoke of his grim double dealin'
"I'll just take a stand with outrageous demands
Quite soon, folks, their team we'll be stealin'"

And so he appeared, as Sonics' fans feared
To the Washington State legislature
"Hey fellas," he said, "Help me get ahead
For advancement is just human nature."

But meanwhile he made some decisions quite brave
To toss aside Lewis and Allen
And thus his requests were regarded as jests
"Your play on the court has been smellin'..."

Then old David Stern who has money to burn
Said, "Hey folks, our owners are needy
And you must come through with a million or two
Or the exit from town will be speedy"

The Sonic fans wrote and urged on the vote
But it fell on deaf ears, more's the pity
They said, "This is rude, why should we get screwed?
This whole stupid deal's pretty...unacceptable"

Now the writing on walls is apparent to all
even those who employ Hooked on Phonics
In just a few weeks, on April 16th
Comes the end of the Seattle Sonics

(insert guitar bridge here)

The ghosts will walk halls...the echoes of balls
Tossed by DJ and Sikma and Freddie
All traded away for some fool's gold and hay
No heritage or income steady

Sure OKC's nice to see once or twice
To learn how to rope and to lasso
But rural O.K. and this new NBA
Mix like Britney and Pablo Picasso

So owners get fat and they'll all tip their hats
To the triumph of greed that's been proven
But listen up guys...keep vans close nearby
In another five years you'll be movin'

The legend is told 'midst the green and the gold
Of a venue they call Key Arena
It soon won't be there because Stern doesn't care
that the Sonics are owned by a wiener

(guitar and fade)

--Dave (blazersub@yahoo.com)

0 recs  |  Comment 16 comments

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Damn you!
Now I'm going to have that gawdawful song by Gordon Lightfoot stuck in my brain for the next 48-72 hours.

On the other hand, your lyrics are pure gold.

by DonkeyShins on Mar 24, 2008 12:50 AM PDT reply actions   0 recs

Agree on both counts.
I had that song stuck in my head for weeks recently. Here we go again... Couldn't Lightfoot have put a bridge in there, at least?
Who do you want in charge when it's 3 a.m. and someone needs a diary?

by MiledAnimal on Mar 24, 2008 10:32 AM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

Dude...
unacceptable does NOT rhyme with pity.  Sheesh.

The rest of it is pretty awesome, though.

by ken on Mar 24, 2008 4:05 AM PDT reply actions   0 recs

For that last line, how about:
"It's a dumb deal e'en for this hick city."
Who do you want in charge when it's 3 a.m. and someone needs a diary?

by MiledAnimal on Mar 24, 2008 10:31 AM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

Bravo!
  When I read it, I teared up and lit my cigarette lighter and waved it slowly above my head.

  Seriously, Gordon Lightfoot parody aside, it pretty much sums up the situation in both substance and tone. Bravo!  

"Mother Nature started this fight, I think it's about time we ended it!"

by Krang on Mar 24, 2008 5:49 AM PDT reply actions   0 recs

Perfect!
So the Sonics ship has sunk. So sorry. Seriously.
"The art of being wise is the art of knowing what to overlook." - William James.

by jorga on Mar 24, 2008 8:02 AM PDT reply actions   0 recs

I can see...
...the competition for the esteemed mantle of BE Poet Laureate is heating up...

Nicely done!

"The early bird gets the worm. The second mouse gets the cheese." Don Monette

by Dr Dave on Mar 24, 2008 8:39 AM PDT reply actions   0 recs

I will never be eligible
and I can't hold a candle to you anyway. I just write doggerel sometimes to amuse myself.

--Dave

by Dave on Mar 24, 2008 9:48 AM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

Ya jinxed us!!!
Ya should never write a song (poem) about a ship wreck. So no more Edmond Fitzgerald, Titanic, or Gilligan's Island songs!! (car crashes would be bad too...so no Dead Mans Curve or Detroit Rock City)

by 92wastheyear on Mar 25, 2008 5:07 PM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

Here come the Grammys
Great stuff. I usually go to TrueHoop to catch up before I head over here. When I saw Henry refer to a "poem that Seattle basketball fans will love" I KNEW, just KNEW, it was a Blazer's Edge link.  

by Corvid on Mar 24, 2008 11:17 AM PDT reply actions   0 recs

Cheers Dave
That is fantastic!  I mean it's horrible, in a Bill Walton kinda way ("hooooorrible, Luke")for Seattle but the poem composed to Lightfoot!?  Ring it up!

The best preview ever, Sonics fans should put together a band to compose this in front of Key Arena!

"Stick a knife in 'em, their done!" ~ Mike Rice

by courtsideerrandboy on Mar 24, 2008 12:36 PM PDT reply actions   0 recs

Your mustache must be awesome...
How else to explain your lyrical mastery? And it sums up our plight in painful accuracy. Thanks. I think?
-the neighbor up the street

by chunkstyle23 on Mar 24, 2008 3:43 PM PDT reply actions   0 recs

yeah
the only sympathy Sonics will get, that is if we loose to them tonight.

by RipCity on Mar 24, 2008 4:53 PM PDT reply actions   0 recs

Maesetro!
Thanks Dave. Happy trails Sonics.

by lee3022 on Mar 24, 2008 9:33 PM PDT reply actions   0 recs

We deserved this
I guess we deserved the loss since we underestimated them.

by Philthyanimal on Mar 24, 2008 10:42 PM PDT reply actions   0 recs

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