Disperse the Curse!

by Dave on Oct 13, 2007 1:00 AM PDT in News

Ladies and Gentlemen the moment has arrived.

After weeks of accepting mail and a little bit of legwork of my own, we are finally ready to disperse, reverse, abjure, defer, dispel, repel, absolve, and resolve any lingering bad juju surrounding the team which may be manifesting itself in this new era. To that end we have collected a whole bunch of juju-attracting material, pictured here.

As you can see these items include:

--Bill Walton's foot
--Sam Bowie's broken leg
--Derek Anderson's teeth
--Brandon Roy's orthopedic insert
--Zach Randolph's bling
--J.R. Rider's coke can
--Shawn Kemp's nose candy
--A number of trading cards (popular items in the mail) including Mark Bryant and Harvey Grant Franz cards, two Danny Ainge rookie cards from his stint with the Toronto Blue Jays, and an official copy of Qyntel Woods' "Driver's License"
--Ruben Patterson's wisdom (the hot air surrounding it all, soon to be hotter)
--All of the "new leaves" turned over by Bonzi Wells over the course of his career
--Most importantly of all, 98 letters, post cards, and post-it notes sent in by fans with "disperse the curse" written on them

Here's how this is going to work. ~~Tomorrow~~ Today (Saturday) at about two minutes and eighteen seconds past the hour of 2:00 Pacific (click the top link on this page if you don't get the reference) all of this stuff is going into the burn barrel. As the smoke ascends anyone who wants to can think happy thoughts, or whatever it is that you do. At that point the bad juju will drift away with the wind and the good juju will be here to stay. That's the way it works, you know.

Thanks to everyone who took the time to send stuff. Good thoughts tomorrow!

--Dave (blazersub@yahoo.com)

P.S. Close ups of Zach's bling and Sam's leg.

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coke can

Can anyone fill me in on the JR Rider coke can?

by jonestr on Oct 12, 2007 1:46 PM PDT reply actions

I'd be honored

JR Rider was busted for smoking "jazz cigarettes" out of a Coke can in a parked car.

You poke a hole in the side of the can, yadayada, and use the can like a pipe.

It's something usually kids do.

Mortimer

by Mortimer on Oct 12, 2007 2:07 PM PDT up reply actions

Thanks

Ah... youthful indiscretion

Thanks for the explanation. I especially like the "jazz cigarettes" line.

Are those the same kind of cigarettes that Jerry Sloan smokes?

by jonestr on Oct 12, 2007 2:15 PM PDT up reply actions

I'll ask him when I see him

I don't think he has a sense of humor though so I may ask him from a distance to make sure I have a head start!

Hard work beats talent when talent fails to work hard.

by ratbastird on Oct 12, 2007 11:27 PM PDT up reply actions

That's a beautiful thing.

I was going to try and be offended by this obvious promotion of witchcraft, but I don't have it in me. Down with bad juju.

p.s. Where are Dale Davis' hooch and plane tickets?

by EnglandDan on Oct 12, 2007 2:42 PM PDT reply actions

I wanted to do

Davis' snow shovel but I couldn't find one small enough.

And there's a difference between witchcraft and a little friendly juju-dispersal.

--Dave

by Dave on Oct 12, 2007 3:46 PM PDT up reply actions

shawn kemp's candy

This is the last website I ever expected to feature home-made digital pictures of cocaine. With that said, the sheer quantity of powder in that bag goes a long way to explaining Shawn Kemp's inability to properly manipulate contraception.

Don't worry; I'm not bitter. Go Blazers.

by DraftKevinDurant on Oct 12, 2007 2:56 PM PDT reply actions

Good Riddance

Make sure to pour some salt over it.

What? Haven't you watched Supernatural? All evil spirits need to be salted over and then burned with gasoline. Only way to go.

ROTUNDITYDOTNET

by damir on Oct 12, 2007 4:31 PM PDT reply actions

Where is Damon's tinfoil?

Nice job, Dave. Rid our team of the bad juju.

Addicted to Quack SBN's Oregon Ducks Blog

by David Piper on Oct 12, 2007 6:44 PM PDT reply actions

Forgot that!

Dang!

--Dave

by Dave on Oct 12, 2007 7:51 PM PDT up reply actions

he boiling pt. o' tin is...

..2270 º C

You'l never reach it.

It would only be purified residue 8^)

"Keep Up the Pace"

by BlueBooYay on Oct 12, 2007 11:55 PM PDT up reply actions

i don't know

i hear hell is pretty hot and if we're exercising the demons out... I would think it'd get hotter than you might expect...

Hard work beats talent when talent fails to work hard.

by ratbastird on Oct 13, 2007 7:38 AM PDT up reply actions

my bad

its actually aluminum foil. And the Coke can is aluminum as well. So if we're doing a Coke can...

Addicted to Quack SBN's Oregon Ducks Blog

by David Piper on Oct 13, 2007 7:48 PM PDT up reply actions

I missed

the call for contributions, but at the appropriate time tomorrow I will burn a number of "disperse the curse" comments - salted, but sans gasoline - in my fireplace.

by jorga on Oct 12, 2007 9:29 PM PDT reply actions