FanPost

[Parody] Dave's Anthem

USA TODAY Sports

It's Saturday, the news is quiet, and I'm easily entertained. Let's promote this to the front page. -- Tim

Sung to the classic rocks stylings of Alice Cooper

I used to be such a sweet, sweet thing

'Til Robin came to the team.

I moderated all the crap storms,

I took kids to games for free.

I got no more friends 'cause they read the comments.

They can't be seen..

...agreeing with me,

and I'm gettin' real put down

Now I'm feeling mean.

No more Mister Nice Dave

No more Mister Clean

No more Mister Nice Dave

They say, he's not a homer, he hates the team

I got no friends 'cause they read the comments.

They can't be seen...

...agreein' with me

and I'm gettin' real put down

Now I'm gettin' mean.

No more Mister Nice Dave

No more Mister Clean

No more Mister Nice Dave

They say, he's a hater he's obscene

Mort bit me on the leg today

Ann clawed my eyes

Tdark's been thrown out the social circle

And Timmay has to hide

I went to Moda, incognito

When everybody rose,

Neil Olshey recognized me,

And punched me in the nose

He said,

No more Mister Nice Dave

No more Mister Clean

No more Mister Nice Dave

He said, you're not a homer, you hate the team

No more Mister Nice Dave

No more Mister Clean

No more Mister Nice Dave

He said, you're a hater, you're obscene