A Reason To Not Draft Any Of These Guys

Oladipo makes the ball act like Jarrett Jack. - USA TODAY Sports

From time to time Blazer's Edge likes to promote our readers' thought-provoking posts to the front page. We may do minor editing to clean up the original Fanpost, but the content won't change. Today, SteakBaller explains why everyone projected to be picked in the lottery will stink. -- Tim

Your Portland Trailblazers have the 10th pick in the 2013 NBA draft. The Blazers want to "win now." All of the players in this draft are not very good. Let the pessimism begin.

1. Nerlens Noel

Are you kidding me? A Center that weighs 206 lbs! A torn ACL! All he does is block shots, you know who blocked a lot of shots? Jarvis Varnado, and no you don't know who that is because he is terrible.

2. Ben McLemore

Are you kidding me? Potential to be an All Star? Yeah right, guy wasn't even the best player on his team. He has less aggression then a newborn kitten. All of the tools but none of the instincts, like you trying to build Ikea furniture. He has a couple good songs though.

3. Anthony Bennett

Are you kidding me? He's a super tweener, who's not big enough to play PF (6'7", Luke Babbitt looks down at you) and not quick enough to play SF. He could be a great tight end though.

4. Victor Oladipo

Are you kidding me? He's shorter then Jason Kidd and supposed to play SG? Also he only goes right. What with that? God gave you two hands for a reason Victor.

5. Otto Porter

Are you kidding me? He does everything pretty well while doing nothing very well. Wait that's just like out favorite player Batum! Let's get him and then we can talk about how we have 2 guys who are almost like Lebron James, if only.

6. Alex Len

Are you kidding me? He was by far the tallest guy on his team and couldn't even grab 8 rebounds a game. He also fouls more per game then he get's blocks and steals combined. And 1 assist a game? Does he not ever pass out of the post?

7. Trey Burke

Are you kidding me? He was supposedly the "Player of the Year", but everyone knows Mitch McGary was the star of that team. Also he's a tiny little point guard and we all ready have a bigger, better point guard.

8. Shabazz Muhammed

Are you kidding me? Lies about his age, tries to hide his acne with a beard. Guy had like 4 assist all year, and doesn't like winning unless he personally delivers the win.

9. Rudy Gobert

Are you kidding me? Long is about all this guy has. 3 words: Hasheem Tha Beet. He is like a skinner version of Thabeet, except he didn't even put up good numbers in the Big East. Also JaVale McGee is about the same size except he actually has muscle and can run and jump and stuff.

10. Kelly Olynyk

Are you kidding me? The T-rex from North of the Wall. He is slow, can't jump, and is afraid of getting his hair cut in the United States. At least he and Meyers could practice being 7' jump shooters together.

11. Cody Zeller

Are you kidding me? He's a super athletic 7' that somehow get's over powered by 6'8" guys. He might be the "best" of the Zeller brother's, but that's kinda like being the "best" Star Wars prequel.

12. Steven Adams

Are you kidding me? The most interesting thing about this guy is that he played against girls, in New Zealand. 7' and 260 lbs and he can only manage 6 rebounds a game? At least he really looks like he could be a good player. Except shave that mustache, you're not Adam Morrison.

13. Gorgui Dieng

Are you kidding me? His legs are SO tiny. Also let's not forget he is a 6'10" center who can't jump well. At least he has long arms right? He might be 28, just saying what you all are thinking.

14. Dario Saric

Are you kidding me? He is the shorter, skinnier, more euro version of Kelly Olynyk. Except not as skilled and with less experience. His own team thought he was good enough to play 1 game in the Eurocup this year.

Best of luck trading that pick Olshey.

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