Yeah, yeah, yeah...it's another Wednesday and another excellent and interesting SBN-NBA group effort (like the 3-on-3 tournament underway here) except this week the topic is "Biggest Disappointment in Franchise History".
We see you yahoos cruising around the network getting your jollies off of other people's suffering. You no doubt came to read something about Greg Oden over Kevin Durant or Sam Bowie over Michael Jordan. Perhaps you wanted the story of Bill Walton's crumbling foot or the defeated knees of Arvydas Sabonis and Brandon Roy. Maybe you expected to hear about the Game 7 collapse to the Lakers or Jordan shrugging after hitting a three in the Finals. Or should we just skip all that and plumb the depths of the Jailblazer Era? Hmmmm?
You tourists want us to parade this stuff like Roswell parades UFO crashes. "Buy a commemorative snow globe! The flakes are made from Roy's knee cartilage floating in 100% authentic Blazer Fan tears! Misery in every shake or your money back!" Well move along, rubber-neckers. We have to live this 24/7/365 and it ain't no picture postcard. See the haunted, suspicious looks staring back at you? That's the look of people who have been in the train wreck watching people who are just passing by out of curiosity.
So leave us alone. We're rebuilding. You read that right, rebuilding. Yes, still sandwiched between the high-speed downhill train track curve and the seasonally flooding river. That's where we live, damnit. Just follow the road and get yourself out of town. Go visit a Lakers blog or something. You'll be more comfortable there, hearing their stories...
We are supposed to write about franchise disappointments today. Whatever shall we do?
I don't know, Boopsie. Wasn't there one time we engaged in that...lottery thing?
Oh yes! It was ever so much fun slumming for a year. It really connected us with the common folk.
Indeed! Say, who was the fellow we brought back?
Andrew Bynum, as I recall.
Ah yes! Strapping fellow! Pray tell, whatever happened to him?
Silly Pips! We traded him for Dwight Howard this very summer.
Capital! Another strapping fellow! I do hope Orlando won't mistreat poor Bynum though. I did have a soft spot for him since he brought back such wonderful memories of our trip.
Oh Pipsy, you really must keep up. Andrew Bynum didn't go to Orlando. He went to Philadelphia!
What did Orlando get for Dear Howard then?
Nothing, really. Table scraps and such.
It kind of reminds me of that other chap we took from them way back when. What was his name again?
Yet another strapping fellow! Boopsie dear, is Dwight Howard as good as Shaq?
I wouldn't say he was quite as good, no. Perhaps he and Steve Nash, whom we procured from Phoenix for beads and trinkets, might equal the impact of an average Shaq.
Boops, that's it!
What, Pipsy my lad?
Could it be possible that the quality of player we are getting from other teams for absolutely free is...diminishing slightly?
By Jove, you've done it! That would indeed be the biggest disappointment in franchise history.
I shall write it immediately. I'll just...oh dear!
What is it? What happened?
When I went to strike a key in order to share our great discovery I accidentally scuffed the side of one of my ultra-expensive, salon-treated fingernails. Drat! Now I shall have to have them redone.
Tremendous, Pipsy! THAT'S the biggest disappointment in franchise history!
I say, it is!!! It's funny how things work out, isn't it?
The edge of town is that way. Git.