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BREAKING: Neil Olshey fired as Blazers GM



Multiple Portland media sources are reporting that the Portland Trail Blazers have fired general manager Neil Olshey, only hours after he was hired as the team's tenth general manager.

In a hastily arranged press conference at One Center Court, Blazers president Larry Miller told a group of reporters that "it just wasn't the right fit", and that while the team had the utmost respect for Olshey's skills and professionalism, that a rift had developed between Olshey and team owner Paul Allen.

"Communication and trust between the owner and the general manager is very important. If it isn't there, it doesn't matter how good the guy is at doing his job. Neil's a great guy, and I've enjoyed working with him for the past, um, three hours", Miller told the media while checking his watch. "We wish Neil the best of luck in the future".

According to anonymous sources within the Trail Blazer organization, Olshey was spotted by Trail Blazers security carrying a MacBook in his briefcase, a move which reportedly upset Allen, a co-founder of longtime Apple rival Microsoft. Unconfirmed reports also indicate that Allen was "really grossed out" when he observed Olshey picking his nose in the men's room at Trail Blazer headquarters.

The team announced that director of scouting Chad Buchanan would be named interim GM, and that a nationwide search would be launched to find Olshey's replacement.

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