FanPost

All you want to know about Raymond Felton

1. What the Dallas game proved: Felton will win you one game to make up for the five he lost.

2. On a fast break Felton will (pick one) a. dribble off his foot. b. driibble off his ankle. c. dribble off his knee.

3. Dishing on a fast break to his big man Felton will (pick one) a. Hit him on his foot. b. hit him on his ankle. c. Hit him on his shinbone. d. Toss the rock into the second row. e. dribble into a crowd and do one of a-d or politely hand the ball over to one or two of four defenders.

4. When playing defense, Felton's man will beat him by. (choose one or any combination of two). a. going left. b. going right. c. jumping over him. d. going between his legs. e. using a screen. f. sticking out his tongue at him.

5. When the Blazers are behind and need a good play Felton will (choose one) a. Throw up a brick. b. Throw up a brick. c. Throw up an ill-timed, ill-advised, shot.

6. At any crucial point in the game Felton will do any and all of the things listed above.

7. When on ball pressure is required Felton will (pick one): a.Go under the screen. b. Say 'Hi' to his mom to the TV camera. c. Ask a team-mate: Which guy is mine? d. Tell a team-mate, 'I'm not really into this...How about I let my man through and you guard him and I'll stand around and watch.'

8. Anatomy question: Is Felton's head attached to his body, or is this merely an illusion, and it is floating above his body in roughly the right position, but is not actually connected to it?

Imagine, all you ratballers, having the athletic gifts Felton has and abusing them this way...