GRRRRRRR!!!! Stupid dunk contest! Stupid prop-heavy, gimmick laden, over-produced crapfest!
I love the dunk contest guys. I don't think there is any reason to get rid of it. However, this once proud competition has devolved into something that I can only salvage bits and pieces of good from. Let's break it down!:
SCORING and STRUCTURE:
Call me crazy, but I like the fan voting. The judges were a joke and it skewed the competition heavily. That said, this one round and announce the winner nonsense is just that, nonsense. Here's what you do:
- 6 competitors instead of 4, 2 rounds instead of 1
- Honorary judges panel because who doesn't love seeing fat Dominique Wilkins hold up a '10' (this panel is for fans' reference only, fan voting is still the determining factor)
- NO 2 MINUTE TIME LIMIT, YOU GET 3 ATTEMPTS TO COMPLETE YOUR DUNK...if that's not enough then you don't deserve to be in, let alone win, this competition
- Give competitors 2 dunks in the first round, 3 attempts per dunk. Fans vote. Top 3 competitors move on to finals. Give em 2 or 3 more dunks, whatever, fans vote, winner announced.
NOTE: It amazes me how poorly the dunk contest has been scored in the past. The X Games can judge a snowboard superpipe run or a skateboard vert run down to the hundreth of a point. Rarely do I ever feel the need to question their judgments. The video game Jordan v. Bird had this correct decades ago as well. It's easy, a dunk in the dunk contest should be assessed by degree of difficulty, execution, amplitude (power), originality, etc... THESE ARE NOT DIFFICULT PARAMETERS!
Hey Chase Budinger and P Diddy, nobody wants to see a blatantly scripted interaction like that. That was garbage. I respect you both less.
Hey Derrick Williams, if you're gonna jump over a motorcycle don't catch your back foot on the seat. Better yet, don't jump over a motorcycle.
Hey Paul George, a reverse 360 windmill is a great slam dunk contest dunk...lose the glow in the dark gimmick.
Hey Everybody, are you not a good enough dunker to compete without props and gimmicks? If you're going to use props and gimmicks, at least be original. Javale McGee two hoops? Awesome. Dwight Howard sticker at 12'6''? Sure. Gerald Green cupcake dunk? Ok. Dwight Howard phone both? Crap. Dwight Howard tall hoop? Good. Blake Griffin KIA? Never ever ever do I want to see that again. You did a 2 handed normal alley oop dunk. Period. The dunk was below average at best. See the difference? IF YOU'RE GOING TO USE A PROP OR A GIMMICK IT NEEDS TO ENHANCE YOUR DUNK.
I really enjoyed the two dunk contests prior to this one. I thought that Dwight Howard, Nate Robinson, Blake Griffin (KIA dunk aside, worst moment in dunk contest history and it's not even close), Demar Derozan, Javale McGee, etc... really brought it for the most part with some innovative and well executed dunks.
Let me reiterate that the Blake Griffin KIA dunk represents everything wrong with the competition. That dunk sucked, it got 10s across the board, and aside from throwing up in my mouth a small part of me died. You can now see it replayed as a KIA commercial. Thanks David Stern, I'm sure you got a huge check out of that you smug little so-and-so.
I long for the days when spectacular dunkers threw down spectacular dunks with limited props, no gimmicks, and no interjection of major sponsorship. They wowed us because they were the best. Spud Webb, Dominique Wilkins, Vince Carter.
The Jeremy Evans 2-ball dunk over Gordon Hayward was excellent. The Derrick Williams reverse 360 off the side of the backboard from Rubio was excellent (I have no problem with teammate assists btw). The Paul George reverse 360 windmill was solid. The Jeremy Evans "Mailman" dunk over the tiny comedian was decent. The Chase Budinger blindfold dunk wasn't for me, but I won't hate on it. Other than that I hated everything I saw.
The night before the dunk contest the best amateur dunker in America is crowned. I would LOVE to see this person put in the real dunk contest with the NBA players. One spot for him, five for NBA dunkers. See how he does. Why not? Maybe it will get the NBA guys to perform with some damn pride.
Also, Elliott Williams was born to be in the dunk contest and I'd love to see him in it in the next couple of years. I also think Nic Batum should be in the 3 pt contest, which has its own major issues, but that's another post entirely. Essentially I don't understand how you can crown a legitimate champion when only one player in the top twenty in 3 pt % is competing. That's crap.
Well? What say you fellow Bedgers? How do you improve the once proud exhibition of dunking?