TRADE EVERYONE, BUILD AROUND DIEBLER (& the Rhino can stay)
Obviously we're far enough into the season to all agree to just blow the team up (common' already!). Here's a breakdown of the team thus far:
Gerald Wallace puts up monster games and then disappears. TRADE HIM!
Jamal Crawford shoots first and is only 90% of the player he was 2 years ago (when he was the 6th man of the year). TRADE HIM!
Nic Batum (who is leaving the team since a deal hasn't already been completed) is not the skinny French LeBron we were all promised. TRADE HIM!
We overpaid for Wesley Matthews (he's making $6 million. Can you believe that?). TRADE HIM!
Marcus Camby and Kurt Thomas, though considered crafty veterans, are old (hence the term veteran). TRADE THEM!
LaMarcus is soft. That's right-- Soft. TRADE HIM!
Chris Johnson is a beanpole. TRADE HIM!
Luke Babbitt and Armon Johnson went to UNR (that's in Nevada). TRADE THEM! (btw, Nolan Smith went to Duke.... DUKE! That school barely even has a basketball program. TRADE HIM while you're at it)
Though he can jump out of the building, apparently Elliot Williams often (not all the time) smells bad. TRADE HIM!
Greg Oden only dominates when he plays in games, which isn't that often. TRADE HIM!
Raymond Felton, well, don't get me started on Raymond Felton. That out-of-shape, cupcake-loving mother (shut yo' mouth!) is literally fast-breaking this team into the ground. Where is the young Steve Nash All Star MVP Raymond Felton of the Nuggets and Knicks, who was assisting more and hitting the 3 at a much higher clip? I mean, he's had, like, a full month to gain complete familiarity with the team and Sarge. TRADE HIM?! Heck, let's chase him out of Portland, nay, the United States, FOREVER.
I bet you're wondering where Craig Smith is in all of this. Well, I'll tell you. As a previous Ben or Dave post made mention, the Rhino is actually exceeding expectations (and boy!, did we have huge expectations for Craig coming into the season [it's hard to exceed zero expectations]). Sure, he's undersized, overpaid, has zero offense, can't rebound, and barely passes for an inside presence on the team, however, he's exceeding expectations. You, my friend, are not the weakest link (yup, I just dropped in that reference).
But the guy who will likely make the biggest difference in the league for the Blazers will be-- you guessed it-- DIEBLER. Jon Diebler. Or J(ay) Die as he's known to his friends. Basically, HE NEVER MISSES...
Okay, he did miss that second shot. And his 16th shot. Plus, his 49th shot, but that one was in-and-out.
In Conclusion...
58 comments
|
16 recs |
Do you like this story?
Comments
and fire Nate McMillan too.
Yes, he’s a Coach of the Year candidate every year, but when was the last time he won it? I’ll tell you when— Never.
"I was a victim of a series of accidents, as are we all."
by thankyouforblaze on Jan 26, 2012 11:22 PM PST reply actions 4 recs
The blazers are the 14th
Highest earning nba team, do we get treated like it by david stern or chris paul or dwight howard or the refs? Hell no, its because the blazers as a whole are underrated. Including nate, nate should have won coach of the year twice now but that went to people who did the same thing as always. Also whats with all the felton hating STILL??? You notice crawford wallace LMA matthews batum scoring there average daily? Still no, its like you dont even pay attention to baskrtball outside the games, they still are getting into their groove and felton has been much better the past 3 games. I wish we could trade some of the fans instead of just rebuilding around and undersized forward and a guard who hasnt played on an nba court. Thats my rant:)
Formally known as: My_name_a_rudy
by Blaze_that_trail on Jan 27, 2012 8:02 AM PST via mobile up reply actions 1 recs
Please trade the fair weather fans
Let them go to the Clippers or Heat
La Illaha Illallah Muhamadur Rasulallah
Hahaha.
Or the mavericks or the l*kers or the knicks
Formally known as: My_name_a_rudy
by Blaze_that_trail on Jan 27, 2012 12:26 PM PST via mobile up reply actions
This is the best thing I've read on this site in some hours lol
kidding aside do you think the blazers have a 8000 series gun
by Daddygr33nJeans on Jan 26, 2012 11:47 PM PST reply actions
I know for a fact they have eight 1000 series guns
"I was a victim of a series of accidents, as are we all."
by thankyouforblaze on Jan 26, 2012 11:51 PM PST up reply actions 4 recs
I tried to rec this, and somehow it got flagged.
Since I refuse to admit I am wrong, now I must stick by my guns and feign outrage and abuse!
by zaruga on Jan 27, 2012 4:16 PM PST up reply actions 1 recs
lol
"I was a victim of a series of accidents, as are we all."
by thankyouforblaze on Jan 27, 2012 6:50 PM PST up reply actions
Keep the chalupa man.
We need a crowd pleaser. I agree with the rest though!
RIP CITY - We're back!
the problem is
he’s only provided us with one measly chalupa.
until he’s a chulapa-every-night kind of guy, I say TRADE HIM!
"I was a victim of a series of accidents, as are we all."
by thankyouforblaze on Jan 27, 2012 12:06 AM PST up reply actions 1 recs
Nolan robbed Him...
Wide open but Nolan decided to try to be the chalupa man the other night. Could of been 2 straight….
Now we will never know…=\
by Hoi on Jan 27, 2012 12:15 AM PST via mobile up reply actions 1 recs
Finally
for ONCE I agree with you HAHA
by cavejunctionblazer on Jan 27, 2012 12:18 AM PST reply actions
ouch.
and to think I had a good opinion of you based solely on the Hunter S. Thompson picture.
"I was a victim of a series of accidents, as are we all."
by thankyouforblaze on Jan 27, 2012 12:29 AM PST up reply actions
thankyouforblaze are you looking for a new Job?
Paul Allen would like to schedule a job interview with you for the Trail Blazers vacant GM position.
by PortlandNotMaine on Jan 27, 2012 1:03 AM PST reply actions 1 recs
You took the words out of my mouth
We need some “New Blood” at Gm
you have the “out of the box” mentality we need!
La Illaha Illallah Muhamadur Rasulallah
He's too old, but we can make him our new coah instead.
"Wide, girthy. Just like a Rhino. Sometimes my horns are visible."
Also that Diebler video reminds of a shittier version of the J.J. Redick shooting video.
Actually, that might just be a good player comparison too.
When I clicked on this I was already angry
I was relieved to find out it was a joke
I find myself avoiding the site theses days because of all the Blazer Haters on here
La Illaha Illallah Muhamadur Rasulallah
I understand
thats why I just take a break sometimes to remind myself it is just a gme and people have a right to their opinion
La Illaha Illallah Muhamadur Rasulallah
Upon actually reading it
this is the best article ever written on blazers edge, hopefully it is rec’d into the sky!
The tensions are so high because the stakes are so low!
by tylercomp on Jan 27, 2012 10:14 AM PST up reply actions 1 recs
thanks tylercomp
"I was a victim of a series of accidents, as are we all."
by thankyouforblaze on Jan 27, 2012 6:50 PM PST up reply actions
More criticism
We overpaid for Wesley Matthews (he’s making $6 million. Can you believe that?). TRADE HIM!
Wait what… You think this is too much but think ringless 4th quarterless lebron is worth whatever he gets paid.
Nic Batum (who is leaving the team since a deal hasn’t already been completed) is not the skinny French LeBron we were all promised. TRADE HIM
WHOA didnt know you two were so close? and could get inside info on how hes leaving because he didnt get an 8 million dollar deal immediatly. Better trade him! ;)
Greg Oden only dominates when he plays in games, which isn’t that often. TRADE HIM!
Okay.. That could be said about anyone. Example hey zach randolph wanna play? Zach: no my knee is messed up cya next month.
Okay.. That could be said about anyone. Example hey zach randolph wanna play? Zach: no my knee is messed up cya next month.Marcus Camby and Kurt Thomas, though considered crafty veterans, are old (hence the term veteran). TRADE THEM!
Okay.. That could be said about anyone. Example hey zach randolph wanna play? Zach: no my knee is messed up cya next month.Marcus Camby and Kurt Thomas, though considered crafty veterans, are old (hence the term veteran). TRADE THEM!Im sorry what? You have something against camby getting 20+ rebounds in less than 30 minutes??? trading camby I agree with but not because he’s simply old. Trade because he has a HUGE contract up, is injury prone and we need a bigger(more muscle) at center.
Okay.. That could be said about anyone. Example hey zach randolph wanna play? Zach: no my knee is messed up cya next month.Marcus Camby and Kurt Thomas, though considered crafty veterans, are old (hence the term veteran). TRADE THEM!Im sorry what? You have something against camby getting 20+ rebounds in less than 30 minutes??? trading camby I agree with but not because he’s simply old. Trade because he has a HUGE contract up, is injury prone and we need a bigger(more muscle) at center.LaMarcus is soft. That’s right— Soft. TRADE HIM!
Okay.. That could be said about anyone. Example hey zach randolph wanna play? Zach: no my knee is messed up cya next month.Marcus Camby and Kurt Thomas, though considered crafty veterans, are old (hence the term veteran). TRADE THEM!Im sorry what? You have something against camby getting 20+ rebounds in less than 30 minutes??? trading camby I agree with but not because he’s simply old. Trade because he has a HUGE contract up, is injury prone and we need a bigger(more muscle) at center.LaMarcus is soft. That’s right— Soft. TRADE HIM!Majority of those times you see him being “soft” thats him being dominated by dwight or another legit big center. Which we dont have so we cant have someone box out dwight other than lma.
Okay.. That could be said about anyone. Example hey zach randolph wanna play? Zach: no my knee is messed up cya next month.Marcus Camby and Kurt Thomas, though considered crafty veterans, are old (hence the term veteran). TRADE THEM!Im sorry what? You have something against camby getting 20+ rebounds in less than 30 minutes??? trading camby I agree with but not because he’s simply old. Trade because he has a HUGE contract up, is injury prone and we need a bigger(more muscle) at center.LaMarcus is soft. That’s right— Soft. TRADE HIM!Majority of those times you see him being “soft” thats him being dominated by dwight or another legit big center. Which we dont have so we cant have someone box out dwight other than lma.I dont mean to be a jerk but you listed your thoughts and these are my thoughts im not trying to get a rise out of someone or start a fight. Im seriously wondering right now if your trying to troll us.
Formally known as: My_name_a_rudy
by Blaze_that_trail on Jan 27, 2012 12:55 PM PST via mobile reply actions
Wow. Sorry about that post
Mobile on this site is pretty bad when it comes to trying to make paragraphs and Im guessing my droid was dumb and copy and pasted the greg oden reply like nine times. I would edit this but yet again on mobile.
Formally known as: My_name_a_rudy
by Blaze_that_trail on Jan 27, 2012 12:58 PM PST via mobile up reply actions
I voted E Will for Nash
I’d never trade Babbitt for Lebron…I mean, is Lebron even that good? Sure, he’s the best all-around player the NBA has seen in a long time, but he’s no Luke Babbitt (who is a rabbitt, according to sources close to me)
"If I had a dime for every basket I made today, you'd still suck!" - from the book 'John Dies @ the End'
yes..well usually I would agree with this. However...we WOULD get rid of Babbitt...
so there is that. You may have to take this into consideration before getting rid of all who voted for that last option. The idea of a trade for ANYONE to get rid of Babbitt…has to be considered kind of valid.
because he's such an anchor on our ascension to greatness
"If I had a dime for every basket I made today, you'd still suck!" - from the book 'John Dies @ the End'
by sammymohawk on Jan 27, 2012 3:24 PM PST up reply actions 1 recs
agreed. the trade is essentially to get rid of Babbitt,
not to actually gain Lebron.
"I was a victim of a series of accidents, as are we all."
by thankyouforblaze on Jan 27, 2012 6:52 PM PST up reply actions 1 recs
Babbitt for LeBron?
No way. Luke is a once-in-a-generation player. I don’t trade him except maybe in a Carmelo Anthony-esque situation.
by AJB2 on Jan 27, 2012 4:43 PM PST reply actions 1 recs
I agree with everything on this post....
"Im ready for a fight..." -Joel Przybilla
by KillaPrzydollaBILLA on Jan 28, 2012 12:14 AM PST reply actions
Mark my words...
Every single player in the NBA is going to break all of their fingers except for Babbitt, who mysteriously remains healthy and wins every award possible.
Awesome.
But you need to add one trade: Once we’ve remade the team, we need a different owner, preferably one that has no interest in basketball and no money.
"She turned me into a newt!
A newt?
...I got better."
i knew i forgot something.
is Michael Jordan interested in being the Blazers’ owner?
lol
"I was a victim of a series of accidents, as are we all."
by thankyouforblaze on Jan 28, 2012 2:19 PM PST up reply actions
I hope this post was written by Diebler...
….only way anything makes sense
by nolan.waters.kinney on Jan 28, 2012 10:38 AM PST reply actions
boy, do I wish I was Diebler...
kid’s got game.
unfortunately, I’m not.
(incidentally, I am Luke Babbitt, or Mr. Chalupa as I’m now known in Blazer circles…)
"I was a victim of a series of accidents, as are we all."
by thankyouforblaze on Jan 28, 2012 2:20 PM PST up reply actions
Wait.. so you wrote a post arguing that the Blazers trade yourself!?!
It all makes sense. Luke is really a deadeye sharpshooter, but he has been intentionally bricking his shots so he can get traded. He just felt sorry for the fans and made the Chalupa shot.
I. AM. SARGE.
"If you can do a half-assed job of anything, you're a one-eyed man in a kingdom of the blind."
by thankyouforblaze on Jan 30, 2012 9:52 PM PST up reply actions
Babbitt seems like
a bit much to give up for Lebron…maybe they would throw in Wade as well to make it fair.
a little OT but went to the Memphis game and saw someone rocking a Luke Babbitt jersery. I just assumed it had to be his dad or something.
by Jam Master Jay on Jan 28, 2012 12:29 PM PST reply actions
As far as I know
Michael Jordan and Luke Babbitt aren’t related. Though that could be confusing as they are both the best basketball players to step on to the court.
Sustained mediocrity is fun apparently.
I’m glad you guys aren’t my employees.
ditto my man -- glad you aren't my employer ;)
"I was a victim of a series of accidents, as are we all."
by thankyouforblaze on Jan 28, 2012 8:26 PM PST up reply actions
No sarcasm detector?
You must be a hard person to work for.

I just like this picture.
"If you can do a half-assed job of anything, you're a one-eyed man in a kingdom of the blind."
by thankyouforblaze on Jan 30, 2012 1:25 AM PST reply actions

by 


































