The Basketball Blogging Glossary

Are you a basketball junkie?

Do you follow your favorite team on a blog or other website among a community of fellow enthusiasts?

Then you can't afford to be without the handy, pocket-sized Basketball Blogging Glossary!

We all know plenty of basketball terms. But did you know that many of those terms also describe practices--usually borderline infractions--on your favorite basketball blog or forum?

Most people, for instance, are familiar with:

Double Post-- Posting the same comment twice, usually because you thought the "Submit" button wasn't working.

But did you know there are dozens more? Just click through to find the complete list. See if you recognize some of your own behavior or that of your friends and neighbors. Maybe next time your site moderators flag you for the "Princeton Offense" you'll know what they're talking about!

Low Post-- Heading over to an opposing website to gloat because your guys just won on a last-second three.

Over and Back Violation-- Heading over to another site to troll viciously and then trying to pretend you're a nice guy when you return home.

Pick and Roll-- Starting a fight on scanty evidence then disappearing when the eventual facts prove you wrong.

Triangle Offense-- When only three guys on a site actually feel a certain way but they keep commenting under and/or reccing each other to make it seem like a host of people agree.

Flex Offense-- Trying to back up even your smallest points with at least six statistical references.

Pressure Defense-- Covering your weak point by calling everyone else ignorant and biased.

Crossover Dribble-- Making the same silly argument in multiple threads, hoping that repetition will make it true.

Double Team-- Getting your wife, brother, roommate, co-worker, or BFF to attack anyone who disagrees with you, inflaming your opponent while you look reasonable.

Fadeaway Jumper-- The guy who, usually after being called on the carpet, noisily claims he's leaving the site.

Finger Roll-- Sliding to the wrong key while commenting, thus ruining your otherwise perfect comment with a typo.

Goaltending-- Only posting on the pet subject you want to advance, using the same words each time.

Man-to-Man Defense-- Responding to someone who challenges your argument by questioning the size of his gonads (and/or athletic experience, professional accomplishments, etc.)

Zone Defense-- Making your point often while never responding directly to anyone who brings up a counter-point.

Motion Offense-- Trying to win an argument by continually moving to a new line of reasoning with each response until all your challengers throw up their hands.

Trapping Defense-- Asking a question you already know the answer to so you can jump on anyone who responds.

Point Forward-- Anticipating someone's argument and attacking it before it's been made.

Point Guard-- Never letting go of your favorite assertion even if it's been disproved.

Power Forward-- Replacing logic with CAPS.

Posterizing-- Responding to someone's assertion with a comment long enough to fit on a 24" x 36" roll of paper.

Princeton Offense-- Attempting to dissuade people from arguing against you by sounding like you're smarter and better informed than everyone else.

Rebounding-- Writing your comment in a hot thread three days after the last comment was posted.

Hook Shot-- A semi-intentional troll comment that baits people into frenzied response.

Sky Hook-- Trying to bait a site author or moderator in said fashion.

Baby Hook-- Hitting on anybody with a vaguely-female-sounding screen name. (Also known in some circles as "Going Hard to the Rack", not that we'd be so gauche.)

Fast Break-- Saying you're done with a thread and then adding another comment ten seconds later.

Film Session-- Linking repeatedly to Youtube highlights.

Morning Shootaround-- Posting multiple comments at 3 A.M. when nobody is around to counter you.

Shot Clock-- A tool used to measure the amount of time between an argument starting and the first rude/unfair thing being said.

Three-Man Weave-- A thread of 200+ comments but just three participants, usually involving some kind of inside joke.

Sixth Man-- The alt-account you use to agree with yourself when nobody else will.

Swingman--The guy who agrees with everybody in the thread just to seem like the reasonable one.

Technical Foul-- Intentionally misusing an esoteric stat because nobody will know the difference.

Bad Spacing-- Whensomebuffoonleavesacommentlikethis!

High Post-- That thing you wrote when you were drunk or otherwise impaired. (Often leads to bad spacing, ineffective baby hooks, and really runs the shot clock down.)

Palming-- Realizing three seconds after hitting "Post" that your comment was either stupid or a complete non sequitur, causing you to smack your forehead in dismay. Repeat offenders who develop purple bruises on the forehead are called "Violet Palmers".

Backboard-- Leaving site conversation to pursue "real life" only to find that absolutely nothing else is going on. You return to the site five minutes later.

And-One-- Always having to get in the last word.

Add your own below if you've got any!

--Dave (blazersub@gmail.com)

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