I’ll never forget the events that lead to my becoming a Blazer Fan. It’s only under hypnosis that most of the events have been revealed. Although more and more flashes are revealing themselves, as the years pass. Myself and a small group of friends had decided to go camping in the forests of the Northwest. The first day, and night passed without incident, the usual consumption of chilled and mass marketed hops based beverages, coupled with fishing and a group camaraderie demonstrated through shared stories.I believe it was the second night, when we gathered around the campfire. It was getting late, and we all were slowly making excuses to retire to our respective tents to get some sleep and end the day. To protect the privacy of those continuing with their lives, who may or may not be Timber fans today, I will change the names of the innocent. It was a tall Swedish friend of mine, I shall call Darius Miles…that first noticed the light in the sky.
It appeared a reddish glow just above the tree-line against the blackness of the night sky. Faintly pulsing Red, Black, Silver….Red, Black, Silver…
“Do you see that?” Darius Miles asked.
“Probably a Plane” was almost the automatic first response, I gave, even though a Bill Waltonish feeling in the pit of my stomach told me it was no plane.
My other friend,.... “PJ. Carlesimo”…said…”That can’t be a plane..planes don’t look or move like that”.
By now the campfire had died down to almost nothing but cinders and glow. I believe it was PJ Carlesimo that returned to his tent and obtained binoculars and a flashlight. As he looked through the binoculars, I heard a small gasp.
“It appears to be a swirl. Or emitting the image of a swirl.” he said. “5 black lines, curving around a center, met with 5 opposing white sometimes red lines curving out from the opposite side around the same center.”
“Let me see!” I said grabbing the binoculars.
It was huge, and coming closer, and then we heard it…at first we thought it simply a breeze through the tree’s. But as it approached, what sounded like the muffled sound of applause and cheers. Like 12,666 people applauding and cheering a single magical championship…and then as it rose higher, and closer in the night sky…it sounded like a city, an entire state cheering, applauding…and maybe weeping?
I don’t know what made me say it…but I dropped the Binoculars to the ground and uttered an incredulous “Rip City”. The giant pulsing swirl now very nearby, and seemingly lowering itself to hover near a close by clearing.
Did minutes pass? Seconds? Hours? The Trade Deadline? Raef Lafrentze’s Expiring Contract? I don’t know how long we stood in shock, slowly regaining our consciousness, slowly gathering the courage to do something, anything.
“I’m going to take a closer look” I said.
The rest is jumbled, blurred in memory. Like some Alien technology has tried to erase it’s existence in my consciousness, Moved neurons and pathways in my brain in an attempt to make me buy season tickets for seasons that may or may not be played. Implanted suggestions such as $8.00 for a beer is reasonable. Implanted strange pieces of shape shifting metal under my skin in an attempt to monitor my fan loyalty. Pieces of metal or technology that seems to become activated and “angry“ when in the presence of a Lakers broadcast….
It‘s an angry collage of images. Standing in the clearing gazing up at the glowing Blazer Swirl. Then from the center a bright white light begins to grow in intensity, until a beam suddenly strikes out and engulfs me. I feel my feet lifted from the ground as I am drawn closer to the swirl.
Then? Nothing. A void as deep and dark as the Jail Blazer years. Then a strange alien shape.. Huge, appears above me. Inhuman, unreal, large with dark almond shaped eyes. Ha Seung Jin? No. Something different. I’m being held in a small uncomfortable seat, staring at something that looks like the Rose Garden Jumbotron. Then from the corner, something more familiar, human but not human. Not so much gray, as pale white. A hybrid? Human but also something else? It’s speaking to me, but not speaking to me. The words are heard in my mind. Like carefully crafted press releases or 60 minutes interviews. It calls itself Paul Allen and tells me not to worry, and not to struggle. It’s going to be okay it says…all we need is the right GM….
Was I probed that night? Were fluids taken for sample or other purpose more nefarious? I don’t know. Mercifully perhaps I can’t remember. I have the strong feeling Larry Miller knows. But he’s not talking. I fully awoke, wet, cold and clothed in a Blazer Jersey and shorts…
My friends don’t talk about that camping trip. But since that night, I cannot eat mash potatoes without shaping them in the form of the Rose Garden. I have “missing time” that I can’t account for, where I will black out and then suddenly regain consciousness holding season ticket packages. Having never attend medical school, I inexplicably seem to have a knowledge base implanted in my brain concerning complicated medical procedures such as micro-fracture surgery and Blood Platelet Treatment as well as being familiar with terms concerning missing cartilage. It’s all knowledge I’d rather not have…but it’s been forced on me…
We’ve had some close encounters with championships. But whatever happened that night? I’m now a Blazer fan. It’s as unexplainable as a crop circle in the shape of Greg Odens genitalia…you can’t understand Blazer fandom when you are standing in it. You don’t know how it got there. It wasn’t there yesterday…but now? Some force has flattened your field. You know they are hiding something in the Rose Garden, some piece of alien technology that creates a disease we all love to catch, called Blazermania. I can’t write anymore, my implant is burning…it’s Red Hot and Rolling…and I suddenly have the urge to paint my face red and black.