Apparently Steve Blake likes lowbrow comedy. ("My Story")
by Oh. Em. Gee. on Sep 18, 2011 11:48 AM PDT
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FYI, this story is largely anti-climactic, but it's the lockout and who are you to judge me? Alright.
Last night, a few friends and I went to see Dave Attell do his thing at the Helium Comedy Club. We were nursing our overpriced beers, waiting for the show to start when my friend says something to the effect of "Good god, that guy looks a lot like Steve Blake."
We look, and I'm instantly positive it's Blakey sitting up there in the second row from the front. My friend who made the initial sighting isn't as convinced as I that it's really him. "I dunno," he says, "he doesn't look 6' 3," to which I replied "That's because he's sitting down."
Steve then gets up and heads out of the theater and I, being 6' 4", was a few steps behind him (in the least creepy way, ever), as my friends sized him up from the back of the room using me as their ruler. Turns out, 6' 3" looks a lot like 6' 2", or even 6' 1", but that's neither here nor there. My friend is still a little skeptical, my other friend solidly convinced.
The lights dim, the show's about to start. They come over the sound system and say something about heckling the comedians being a surefire way to get escorted out. They didn't say anything about not heckling former Portland Trail Blazers/current L*kers, though.
"STEVE BLAKE!", I yelled. He turned his head immediately, as did the attractive blonde sitting next to him.
We're now all in agreement that A) that is Steve Blake, B) basketball shoes really do add considerable height, and C) $5 is too much for a mediocre Ninkasi IPA.
Long, mostly-uneventful story short: I saw him again as we were leaving and said his name aloud once more. I caught his gaze and he gave me the "so you're the idiot who was yelling my name in there" face, as well as a totally not-ironic thumbs up.
Moral of the story: Get really good at basketball and it won't matter that you're kinda goofy-looking. You'll still have a crazy-hot wife. And you might really be only 6' 2".
Go Blazers.
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Comments
Define "really good"
But still, cool story. I’ve never seen a Blazer, past or present, in public.
"Brandon Roy has done this before."
You're right.
Should’ve said “passable at best at basketball.”
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by Oh. Em. Gee. on Sep 18, 2011 12:36 PM PDT via mobile up reply actions
Um, I'm pretty sure if you've been in the league for 8 years, You're "really good at basketball"
Compared to you and I.
but not compared to me!
i’m awesome
"I was a victim of a series of accidents, as are we all."
by thankyouforblaze on Sep 18, 2011 4:39 PM PDT up reply actions 1 recs
The siren song of the Rose City.
Maybe the wife likes Portland. It’d be a bigger shocker to see Turkoglu and his wife in PDX. Zing! I mean, Portland > Toronto, for reals.
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by Oh. Em. Gee. on Sep 18, 2011 4:27 PM PDT via mobile up reply actions
how was the show?
"If I had a dime for every basket I made today, you'd still suck!" - from the book 'John Dies @ the End'
by sammymohawk on Sep 18, 2011 3:21 PM PDT via mobile reply actions
Show was good.
He was working on some new material so parts of it were pretty raw, but the dude’s a pro and is always hilarious no matter what.
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by Oh. Em. Gee. on Sep 18, 2011 4:22 PM PDT via mobile up reply actions
I saw Flight of the Conchords and STELLA out there in Portland
but my fav show ever was Mitch Hedburg [before he died, obviously]
"I was a victim of a series of accidents, as are we all."
by thankyouforblaze on Sep 18, 2011 4:40 PM PDT up reply actions
I would love to have been able to see Mitch Hedberg.
Definitely gets a seat in my “what 3 people, alive or dead, would you have dinner with if you could” list.
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by Oh. Em. Gee. on Sep 18, 2011 6:32 PM PDT up reply actions 1 recs
Saw Mitch a few times in SF at the Punchline
My fave comedian of all time.
Campaigning to remove "Free-throw Guy" from the Rose Garden.
by Knobby on Sep 21, 2011 12:59 PM PDT up reply actions 1 recs
Not really
people do that to me all the time.
—Dave
by Dave on Sep 18, 2011 7:15 PM PDT up reply actions 2 recs
stop wearing name badges all the time David
"I was a victim of a series of accidents, as are we all."
by thankyouforblaze on Sep 18, 2011 7:33 PM PDT up reply actions
Well, technically they yell
“Taylor Lautner!” because of my abs. But I correct them.
—Dave
by Dave on Sep 18, 2011 7:45 PM PDT up reply actions 2 recs
nah, its gotta be because of your gorgeous locks and adorable nose
"I was a victim of a series of accidents, as are we all."
by thankyouforblaze on Sep 19, 2011 1:03 AM PDT up reply actions
Looks like Worf's son from Star Trek....
He could play his daughter too if they needed..
"Im ready for a fight..." -Joel Przybilla
by KillaPrzydollaBILLA on Sep 22, 2011 3:48 PM PDT up reply actions
lol
"I was a victim of a series of accidents, as are we all."
by thankyouforblaze on Sep 25, 2011 11:25 PM PDT up reply actions
what do u do when u see a cat eating lasagna?
"I was a victim of a series of accidents, as are we all."
by thankyouforblaze on Sep 25, 2011 11:29 PM PDT up reply actions
This is the only thing about basketball that has made me laugh lately.
Thanks for writing it up. It’s going to be a looooooooong fall now.
I am not giving up on Greg or Brandon.
#52
#7
Blake is a really cool guy on, and off the court. Really down to earth! His family is the same way, and they loved the Blazers, and the city, while he played here…
he became a favorite of mine
after he left the team, and when I saw his old fist-fight on the court at Maryland
"I was a victim of a series of accidents, as are we all."
by thankyouforblaze on Sep 19, 2011 12:53 AM PDT up reply actions
Funny story
And Attell isn’t THAT lowbrow — he’s not Carrot Top or Larry The Cable Guy. All credit to Blake for being cool with fan recognition.
Steve Goodman lives.
Right, not every comedian who works blue is lowbrow.
Also, I enjoyed Insomniac with Dave Attell back in the day.
"I Am Mine"
Yes, Mike Rice.
I’d pay to see that show!
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by Oh. Em. Gee. on Sep 19, 2011 11:56 AM PDT via mobile up reply actions 1 recs
I met Jerome Kersey at the K Mart in Oregon City about two years ago.
He and his wife were loading up on Halloween supplies. I wanted to go talk to him, but I was a little nervous. So I pushed my four year old daughter towards him and said really loud, “Yes your right sweetie!! That is Jerome Kersey from the Blazers, and on TV! He’s a lot taller in real life isn’t he?” He smiled at her (she is a cutie), and squatted down and said “Hi. How are you? Are you excited for Halloween?” She just nodded her head yes. His wife seemed real nice too. He waved and said, “Have a good day”. Cool dude. I didn’t bother him anymore after that.
My favorite teams are the Blazers and any team that is playing the Lakers.
Shouldda just awkwardly yelled his name.
I’m telling you, there’s no going back once you’ve done it to one famous person. They probably tell their friends about you and your craziness afterwards. I mean, what’s not to like?
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by Oh. Em. Gee. on Sep 19, 2011 10:02 PM PDT via mobile up reply actions
it would have been hilarious had it not been Steve Blake, and they just had an understanding that they somewhat resembled the guy
"I was a victim of a series of accidents, as are we all."
by thankyouforblaze on Sep 19, 2011 10:29 PM PDT up reply actions
My buddy did that to Dontonio Wingfield in the parking garage at the RG.
Except he thought he was JR Rider. Dontonio dropped his bag and started walking toward us saying, “Who am I? Who am I?” I thought we were going to get murdered.
My favorite teams are the Blazers and any team that is playing the Lakers.
by OCBlazerFan1 on Sep 20, 2011 6:37 AM PDT up reply actions
Haha. That's awesome.
I saw LA a few years back, downtown, surrounded by a bunch of hot girls. I overheard one girl tell her friend that it was Greg Oden. LA was like “Nah, I’m…you know what? Yeah, I am Greg.”
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by Oh. Em. Gee. on Sep 20, 2011 7:45 AM PDT via mobile up reply actions 2 recs
Must be those abs I've heard so much about.
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by Oh. Em. Gee. on Sep 20, 2011 12:05 PM PDT via mobile up reply actions 1 recs
I beat Karl Malone in Mortal Kombat about 20 years ago.
It was at Trolly Square Mall, and I was too cool to publicly gloat. None the less, I feel a certain level of bragging rights now. How I wish I had my smart phone and facebook back then.
by Kevlar Rocket on Sep 20, 2011 10:43 AM PDT reply actions 1 recs
Awesome!
You mean you “Brian Granted” Karl Malone at Mortal Kombat, though.
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by Oh. Em. Gee. on Sep 20, 2011 12:03 PM PDT via mobile up reply actions
Five bucks for one of the best beers that you can easily get across most of the country (Total Dom) is a bit much but nothing unheard. It is certainly not mediocre either
You have my axe!
by you have my axe on Sep 20, 2011 1:08 PM PDT reply actions
Whoa! My anonymous handle...disintegrated just like that!
Leave I such a followable trail of breadcrumbs on the internets that your dare speaketh my Christain name?
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by Oh. Em. Gee. on Sep 20, 2011 9:03 PM PDT up reply actions
lol
apparently he dareth
"I was a victim of a series of accidents, as are we all."
by thankyouforblaze on Sep 25, 2011 11:31 PM PDT up reply actions
once the blazers came to my highschool
to play a scrimmage game and at about halftime i overheard brandon say to lamarcus “man, i aint even wanna play no more” i get thats its a long season and players get tired but to hear my favorite player say this disturbed me. i would have given my pinkie toe to play with them and he aint even wanna play no more. i’ve always had a suspicion he was maybe not the guy the media makes him out to be, but what do i know
by B-rizzoy on Sep 20, 2011 9:58 PM PDT via mobile reply actions
Little known fact:
LaMarcus constantly challenges other Blazers to games of 20 Questions. And the answer is always “your mama.” After about the 56th time asking whether “your mama” is animal, vegetable, or mineral I think I’d say just what Brandon did.
Context FTW.
—Dave
by Dave on Sep 21, 2011 1:42 PM PDT up reply actions 1 recs
come to think of it
right before brandon said what he did i did hear lamarcus ask “is it bigger than a bread box?” for the life of me i had no idea what he was talking about , thankyou dave for finaly peiceing the puzzle together lol
by B-rizzoy on Sep 22, 2011 1:54 AM PDT via mobile up reply actions
lol
ridiculous
"I was a victim of a series of accidents, as are we all."
by thankyouforblaze on Sep 25, 2011 11:32 PM PDT up reply actions
Apparently Raymond Felton likes to eat
I ran into him at Popeye’s on MLK….
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