FanPost

Apparently Steve Blake likes lowbrow comedy. ("My Story")


FYI, this story is largely anti-climactic, but it's the lockout and who are you to judge me? Alright.

Last night, a few friends and I went to see Dave Attell do his thing at the Helium Comedy Club. We were nursing our overpriced beers, waiting for the show to start when my friend says something to the effect of "Good god, that guy looks a lot like Steve Blake."

We look, and I'm instantly positive it's Blakey sitting up there in the second row from the front. My friend who made the initial sighting isn't as convinced as I that it's really him. "I dunno," he says, "he doesn't look 6' 3," to which I replied "That's because he's sitting down."

Steve then gets up and heads out of the theater and I, being 6' 4", was a few steps behind him (in the least creepy way, ever), as my friends sized him up from the back of the room using me as their ruler. Turns out, 6' 3" looks a lot like 6' 2", or even 6' 1", but that's neither here nor there. My friend is still a little skeptical, my other friend solidly convinced.

The lights dim, the show's about to start. They come over the sound system and say something about heckling the comedians being a surefire way to get escorted out. They didn't say anything about not heckling former Portland Trail Blazers/current L*kers, though.

"STEVE BLAKE!", I yelled. He turned his head immediately, as did the attractive blonde sitting next to him.

We're now all in agreement that A) that is Steve Blake, B) basketball shoes really do add considerable height, and C) $5 is too much for a mediocre Ninkasi IPA.

Long, mostly-uneventful story short: I saw him again as we were leaving and said his name aloud once more. I caught his gaze and he gave me the "so you're the idiot who was yelling my name in there" face, as well as a totally not-ironic thumbs up.

Moral of the story: Get really good at basketball and it won't matter that you're kinda goofy-looking. You'll still have a crazy-hot wife. And you might really be only 6' 2".

Go Blazers.

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