FanPost

ESPN Trade Machine

I have seen so so many of excellent trade idea's on SB Nation over the last few months, and like many of you I ask myself: Why don't these GM's do this obvious trade? Its perfect, great for everyone, and look! The NBA trade machine has even approved it! 

I've read through dozens of great trade posts, but yet, none of these great ( and Trade Machine Approved) trades have ever happened in real life... 

Why is this I pondered... and then out of nowhere, it hit me. BAM! Like an Andre Miller into a Blake Griffin. WE AREN'T THINKING BIG ENOUGH! 

So I set out to create a trade idea so incredibly great, wonderful, and of course, ESPN Trade Machine Approved, that the GM's of these teams would have no choice but to comply. 

Unfortunately...The ESPN trade machine only allows 4 teams to be involved in a trade ( 26 short of what I wanted) so I decided on only using my home team, and 3 Big Market teams to create this completely plausible, paradigm shattering trade. Portland... Los Angeles... Miami... Chicago... You.Are.Welcome. 

Portland Receives

Derrick Rose

Derek Fisher 

and..... Steve Blake!

The Blazers Fans and Front office couldn't be happier. They get their Point Guard of the Future ( Rose) their Point guard of the Past ( Blake) AND their point guard who decides to retire as soon as the trade goes through ( Fisher). They are however disappointed that they could only land 2 players named Derek, as talks with landing New Yorks aging Point Guard Derek Jeter Falls through. ( and strangely enough, he couldnt be found in the trade machine) 

Los Angeles Receives:

Lamarcus Aldridge

Chris Bosh

OH MY, the Power of the Power Forward can be felt... On Opening day L.A., Bosh, Gasol, and Bynum all walk out onto the floor, and a new nickname is created. The Quadruplet Towers. Defenses run and hide, mothers scream in the streets, and all are listed as Centers on the All Star Ballot.

Chicago Receives: 

Lebron James

Dwayne Wade

and Andre Miller

Lebron and Dwayne become confused when they win 2 championships, but nobody seems satisfied. People From Ohio make the long drive through Indiana for every Chicago home game, just to Boo Lebron on the regular, while him and Dwayne have to walk around town for years hearing people whisper "E's not da next Jordin", between bites of Polish Sausage.  Andre Miller regrows his hair, sporting a 4 foot fro to protect him from the Chi-Town winds, while averaging 20 assists a game ( mostly in ally opps to Lebron). 

Miami Receives: 

Kobe Bryant 

Luke Babbitt

" I'll win where Lebron couldnt!" screams Kobe, " Ill do it without Shaq! I don't need him unlike some other people (cough, Dwayne) llgauskas is just as good, hell, trade Babbitt with me, Ill even win it all with him!" 

 

Now, I must tell you this first, I have already submitted this to a person in Portlands front office, and I have it on good authority that this will go through. But lets pretend it won't, just for fun. Usually I am like Zues. I'll kill anyone who tries to steal my thunder. But every once in a while there is an excepetion, a Percy Jackson if you will. So ill let it go this one time if any of you have any earth shattering trade ideas that you wish to share. 

There are two stipulations:

1. It must be Incredibly Awesome

2. It must be Trade Machine approved... Other wise, it just doesnt have any plausibility. 

I mean jeez guys, keep them realistic, huh? 

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