50. They Shoot Basketballs, Don't They? : The View from Indianapolis

Snips and clips from the Pacers camp, plus:

• 2010-11 NBA All Jackass Team
• Haiku Game Review
• Fried Rice
• Blazers/Pacers Recap
• Popcorn Machine

(1)

Annihilated Them

posted by latrell spreewel to Indy Cornrows gameday open thread

We annihilated them on the glass.

Love the rebounding lately, we keep this up playoffs are a lock

(2)

Soft Team

posted by pathil275 to Pacers Digest message board

Portland is such a soft team. No wonder, if you play that chick from Spain for extended minutes.

(3)

The Big Difference

posted by xBulletproof to Pacers Digest message board

The major difference without O'Brien ......

Team average: 22 FT attempts per game.

Toronto game — 28. Cleveland game — 32. Tonight's game — 43.

The best team in the NBA is OKC with 30 FT attempts per game.

(4)

Three Straight!

posted by chube to RealGM Pacers message board

Yeah! 3 straight wins!

Who cares if two of them were Cleveland and Toronto. If nothing else, it's a confidence thing also. * * *

I'm also loving this balanced offensive attack under Vogel. Four guys in double-figures and the other 5 guys who played all had 6 or more. Also loved the play of Tyler and George. Neither had good shooting nights but got to the line. Hansbrough 12 times and George 6.

Obviously, I'm still not convinced Vogel is in the driver's seat in terms of getting the permanent job next year, but I hope he at least stays on staff (if he wants) because the players seem to respond to him.

(5)

The Excitement is Back

posted by jnzook to RealGM Pacers message board

I'll tell ya this much... The excitement I felt for this team that i lost in December and January is definitely back running through my body...

It feels like the team cares again, are giving their all, and are performing at a top level...

I think we will get into the playoffs and give the 2 seed (because I think we can get that 7 spot) a helluva run for their money.

(6)

Indiana Pacers 100, Portland Trailblazers 87: Pacers Frustrate Blazers, Extend Winning Streak to Three

by Nathan S., Indy Cornrows (SBN)

"This is going to be a special end of the year. Jump on board."

Frank Vogel's vote of confidence after extending the Indiana Pacers to their first three game winning streak of the year, against a Trailblazers team that had beaten the Pacers just two weeks earlier, was nearly as inspiring as the way the Pacers went about frustrating and thoroughly hounding Portland on both ends of the floor.

Indiana made it an effort to find baskets inside tonight, and in doing so, lived on the free throw line. Led by a surging Roy Hibbert, the Pacers reached the free throw line 17 times in the first quarter, using that to build a double figure lead. * * *

Danny Granger set the tone out of the half, leading the Pacers with 11 third quarter points that helped the team maintain a solid grasp that had Portland scrambling. Paul George capped the quarter by breaking down the Trailblazers defense, for a very poised last second layup.

In the fourth, Tyler Hansbrough showed his basketball savvy by taking the ball directly towards All-Star Snub LaMarcus Aldridge the very play after he picked up his fifth personal foul. The result? Aldridge would spend the final ten minutes of the game on the bench. * * *

(7)

Pacers Open Vogel's Stint with 3rd Win in Row

by Mike Wells, Indianapolis Star

It took more than three months, five attempts, a new coach and even a clip from the movie "Rocky II," but the Indiana Pacers finally know what it feels like to win three straight games.

The Pacers used a blue-collar approach to beat the Portland Trail Blazers 100-87 on Friday night at Conseco Fieldhouse.

"I'm very, very proud of our guys," Pacers interim coach Frank Vogel said. "We're changing the identity of our basketball team dramatically. We're a power-post team, blood and guts, old-school-smash-mouth team." * * *

"No matter who we play, if we're up 20, down 20 or tied, we're going to keep coming after them," Vogel said. "This is a new team, a new beginning. This is going to be a special end of the year. Jump on board."

The Pacers will need that approach. They still have ground to make up to be one of the eight teams in the playoffs in the Eastern Conference. They're currently ninth. * * *

(8)

That's What I'm Talkin' About!

posted by PACERSfan4LIFE to Indianapolis Star reader comments section

That is what I'm talkin about! Hard-nosed basketball....not settling for threes, but instead driving it and getting 43 free throw attempts.

Granger got to the line 10 times! and only attempted 2 three pointers! If Granger can consistently get to the line 7-9 times a game his average will go up a lot more and he will make our offense a lot smoother.

Hansborough is tough just as Vogel stated.

I really like Vogel's rotation playing the younger more eager AJ Price over Ford and giving Paul George more minutes. Paul George is a definite future allstar. He's got the total package.

Now I am not going to get carried away and start proclaimed our run to the championship, but I like what I've seen these last 3 games and hopefully we can continue this and get ourselves back to the playoffs.... GO PACERS!

(9)

Hogwash

posted by SoloBolo to Indianapolis Star reader comments section

People can say they are 3-0 against crappy teams but thats hogwash... Any pro team is capable of winning and no game is a guarentee win...

Vogel changed the offensive system a bit and got a steady lineup, but more important his positive attitude is being bought by the team...Once a team thinks and knows they can win they will come to play.

The Bottom Line:

1. Woo-hoo, three wins in a row!

2. Woo-hoo, tied for 8th place in the Eastern Conference!

3. The coaching change was a much needed breath of fresh air...

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Announcing the Members of the 2nd Annual NBA All Jackass Team!

While every bored NBA sportswriter has been fixated upon the starters and the reserves for the NBA All Star Game, to be held later this month, I have preoccupied myself with much more important matters — finding for you prime specimens of cluelessness and obnoxiousness and self-absorbtion. Yes, sports fans, it is time for the naming of the roster of the 2010-11 NBA All Jackass Team.

As you may or may not recall from last year's debut squad, the NBA All Jackass Team is an elite group. Of all the idiots in the NBA, just 5 players make the cut, one from each position. Together these 'tards represent the dumbest and the most reprehensible among the cloistered, self-entitled millionaires that ball in the NBA. 

With Allen Iverson out of the Association this year, the Shooting Guard position was left wide open — a rather shocking turn of events which left me scrambling. However, I thought it only fitting to memorialize one of my least favorite humans and one of the inspirations for the establishment of this team, so this year I am launching the first-ever Allen Iverson Memorial Jackass of the Year Award, to be bestowed upon the most cretinous of the cretins. Who will it be? The pressure mounts...

Let's take a look at the 2010-11 crop of All-NBA Jackasses, shall we?

Point Guard: Tony Parker, San Antonio Spurs

Two words: Eva Longoria. Okay, four more words: wife of a teammate. Seriously, a man with priorities so far out of whack as this cat gets cutsies to the feeding trough in the jackass paddock. Eva Longoria is a beautiful, smart, millionaire actress and he is, ummmm............... really, really French.

It's not just me. A Google search for the words "TONY + PARKER + IDIOT" nets 276,000 returns. That number seems pretty indicative of public sentiment verging on universal consensus, does it not?

Running a Google search also is a good way to pull up more hilarity from the internets, such as a story from the always super-reliable gossip site FitPerez.com ("focused on fitness, health, and wellness + celebrities") that a 19-year old British model had subsequently come forward claiming that Parker had "constantly sexted her." According to published comments of the woman in question, London resident Sophia Egeler, Parker sent half-naked photos of himself and asked Egeler whether she "wanted a sexier one still."

"From the moment he met me he was trying it on," said Egeler, who says she met the diminutive Spur at an MMA event in London. "I had no idea he was Eva Longoria's husband. He would not take no for an answer and was telling me how much he liked me."

Much to the surprise of those of us who believe that stupid people, fast cars, and firearms do not mix, perennial Jackass PG fave Sebastian Telfair has somehow managed to kept keep nose clean this year, allowing Tony the Tiger to sneak onto the 2010-11 NBA All Jackass team.

It certainly helps with the committee that "The Cockroach" plays for the San Antonio Spurs — a club which has inflicted more boring basketball on fans over the past decade than any other. There must be atonement for such a crime against entertainment...

Shooting Guard: O.J. Mayo, Memphis Grizzlies

Our All NBA Jackass Shooting Guard is a cheater of another type... Okay, let's acknowledge from the outset that O.J. Mayo has handled his recent 10 game suspension for violation of the NBA's steroid policy as manfully as usual, spouting the typical "I bought it over the counter and I didn't know it had an illegal substance in in and I'm awfully sorry" bullcrap with a fairly straight face.

Still: how stupid does one have to be to ingest dehydroepiandrosterone, knowingly or unknowingly, during one's contract year? O.J., at least have enough brains to make like Rashard Lewis and sign the big free agent deal before you get busted for cheating! Having one's name tied to steroid abuse is really not a good career move, after all... Is that idea really so difficult to understand?!?

Not only is Mayo a cheater, he was previously in the news this season for fighting teammate Tony Allen over money lost to Allen playing bourré on the team plane. That's downright Jailblazersy, is it not ? I'm sure teammate Zach "Suckerpunch" Randolph would approve...

So we've got a guy fighting over gambling debts incurred on the team jet AND the same doof putting his squad in the sling for 10 days by "accidentally" taking dehydroepiandrosterone. That's the sort of doubling up of transgressions that we connoisseurs of idiotic behavior in the NBA like to see, the sort of serial stupidity that separates chronically idiotic individuals from your run-of-the-mill clueless jock. Add a little dash of public petulance over his demotion from the starting lineup to sixth man this year and the planets are starting to align for O.J., are they not?

Ironically, I really like O.J. Mayo's game and wish he were a Blazer. His decision-making, on the other hand, is perfectly suited for the Memphis Grizzlies, the former home of both Allen Iverson and Darius MIles as well as current digs of our main man Z-bo.

Small Forward: LeBron James, Miami Heat

Arguably the best player in the NBA, self-absorbed Nike poster boy LeBron James is also unquestionably one of the league's biggest idiots.

Imagine, if you will, if LaMarcus Aldridge were originally from Salem, Oregon. Selected to the Blazers, hometown kid makes good — boy would we be happy! Then, let's say that after several years of assembling carefully-selected complementary pieces to fit LMA's skillset, when the Blazers were on the verge of making it to the NBA Finals — Aldridge refused to say if he was staying or leaving as a free agent for a full year. And let's say that at the end of that time he LMA even have the common courtesy of tipping off Rich Cho or Paul Allen as to his choice, but instead held a fricking television show to announce "The Decision"™...

Would LMA not be the biggest jackass's ass in the entire NBA, if not in all of pro sports? That sort of behavior is almost unimaginable, isn't it?

But that's exactly the crap that LeBron James pulled on his home state and longtime team.

But wait, there's more! LeBron with his "Decision"™ singlehandedly coined a new self-important phrase that will be parodied and reparodied for generations: "I'm taking my talents to South Beach!"

Ha!

And that doesn't even start to cover the butt-slapping, the fan taunting, the vainglorious orchestrated rosin throwing, the patronizing comments about opponents, the triple-shots of 200-proof false modesty that he delivers in nearly every interview after nearly every game... 

Of course, both the NBA and Nike are so heavily invested in The Chosen One, Inc. that they're probably commissioning moralistic Saturday morning children's cartoons about the selfless, righteous, downright Jesus-like qualities of the musclebound pinhead even as we speak. 

I beg to differ: LEBRON IS A JACKASS!!!

Power Forward: Kevin Garnett, Boston Celtics

We're used to it by now... The constant yapping, the unsportsmanlike potty-mouthed taunting of opponents, the chest-pounding posturing after nearly every good play that he makes... Kevin Garnett is a piece of work. Indeed, his borderline sociopathic behavior on the floor makes KG an ironclad, carve-it-in-granite, mortal lock on the NBA All Jackass Team for as long as his scrawny little bird legs are able to run up and down the hardwood.

Garnett cemented his coveted place on the team with the Charlie Villanueva affair, in which he taunted Charlie V. as a "cancer patient" on the floor, then lied about it afterwards in a transparent effort to protect his lucrative endorsement deals. Instead of lying outright by declaring "I never said that!" — Garnett instead played us all for idiots by claiming that his actual taunt of Villanueva on the floor was "You are a cancer to your team and our league!" KG would NEVER make light of the suffering of cancer patients, after all, great humanitarian that KG is.

Yeah, right.

Then there are the wanton elbows that Garnett regularly throws as part of his typical rebounding technique. Every incident I see — and I've seen at least two examples this year despite trying very hard to avoid watching Celtics games — drives me up the wall. If there has ever been an NBA player more deserving of eating 12 of his own teeth from a well-placed elbow, it's the obnoxious bigmouth, Kevin Garnett.

Taking the cake is Garnett's recent double attempts to injure the jumpshooting Channing Frye by intentionally sliding a foot into Charmin's landing zone, once in conjunction with a furtive crotch-shot. Acting with intent to injure is par for the course for this phony pipsqueak. Here's hoping that karma is indeed a bitch, because this jerk definitely has a nice account accrued...

Center: DeMarcus Cousins, Sacramento Kings

Never let it said that the All Jackass Team's elite one person selection committee is biased against rookies... The Sacramento Kings invested a top draft pick on the leading light in the next generation of professional buffoons, DeMarcus Cousins of Kentucky — a former teammate of NBA Rookie of the Year runner-up John Wall.

At this early stage of his career, the book on Cousins isn't that he's a self-centered whiner with a kookalooka streak wider than Ron Artest's backside, it's that he's "immature."

Hmmmm — "immature." This is an adjective that that the journalistic herd likes to assign to young, pampered star athletes who are self-centered whiners with kookalooka streaks wider than Ron Artest's backside before they actually go off and do something proving once and for all to the world that they are self-centered whiners with kookalooka streaks wider than Ron Artest's backside.

Well, I'm gonna go out on a limb here: DeMarcus Cousins isn't "immature" — he's a self-centered whiner with a kookalooka streak wider than Ron Artest's backside. Remember: you heard it here first.

Cousins' most recent transgression against good sportsmanship and common sense came in December, when he taunted Reggie Williams of the Warriors with a "choking" gesture when Williams was at the line after missing the first of three free throws.

Cousins' boss, Sactoe GM Geoff Petrie, who was on hand to see Cousins' idiocy first hand, was not amused. "I was really surprised that he didn't get a taunting foul for one thing," the Kings' chief told the Sacramento Bee. "I just don't feel that kind of behavior is professional, number one, and it doesn't reflect well on him."

Cousins' coach, Paul Westphal, was even more blunt, calling Cousins' action "unprofessional, childish, embarrassing" and declaring "it won't be tolerated." Cousins was fined and briefly removed from the Kings' starting lineup.

A bright future lies ahead for the hotheaded, pouting moron pivotman that promises to keep detractors of the Kings in stitches for years.

And now for the moment we've all been waiting for....

Your 2010-11 Allen Iverson Award winner as the NBA's Jackass of the Year is...................

                                                                                 KEVIN GARNETT !!!!

(Was there really any doubt?)

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Making shots is hard

The ball is big, the rim small

Thirty-six percent

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Here's some more wackiness from the twisted tongue of goofy Uncle Mike...

The Rice Army is large and powerful...

MB: "I know in Cleveland it's Mike Rice Bedlam with what you did in your previous life back in the Midwest. Last time were were they we had a guy come up to me and stand in front of us and come to tears saying how much you changed his life as a high school basketball player..."

Rice: "He's probably unemployed... It was great years."

MB: "You know he's the president of a large bank in Cleveland, so clearly he got it straightened out after you departed."

Rice: "It took him a time. I will say that high school coaching was really, really fun — I had 10, 12 years of doing that. I pulled myself away because of money in the college ranks."

If it's the Pacers. its time to rag on Jeff Foster's socks again, isn't it?

MB: "Are you a fan of Jeff Foster's socks for an NBA player?"

Rice: "He doesn't have those girlie socks does he? (cut to close up on camera) Oh, yes he does! He's got those little shorties..."

MB: "That's what you wear to golf in Arizona to get some sun on the legs."

Rice: "Next he'll be shaving his legs..."

Game 50.

Blazers 87 at Pacers 100.

February 4, 2011.

Blazers' record is now 26-24, the Pacers are 20-27

I've got a new toy from my buddies at Comcast — a DVR. Instead of missing most of the first half, I'm gonna try to catch up on the fly... We'll see how that goes.

1. Damn, all those empty seats make Indianapolis look a lot like Memphis. The Pacers are one of the contraction-worthy teams and it's pretty clear to see how the franchise is losing its flabby bottom given turnout like that... The story of the first quarter was one of comparative hotness. Everything the Pacers threw up went in. The Blazers went in and made me want to throw up. Interesting first substitution by Nate, bringing in Rudy at PG to spell the foul-troubled Andre Miller. Blazers opened the thing 3-for-13 and trailed throughout.

Hmmm, fast forwarding through commercials on the fly is good stuff. I could get used to that. I wonder if there is an announcer-switch feature on this here DVR do-hickey??? I could stand to switch out this stressed and whiny Mike Barrett call for Joel Myers or Ralph Lawler or something. "THE BLAZERS START THE GAME OH-FOR-FOUR FROM BEHIND THE 3 POINT LINE!" MB nervously intones. The Pacer lead went to 11 with about 3:00 showing.

Dante Cunningham and Patty Mills provided good hustle, chipping away at the Pacer lead. Sean Marks contributed a huge block on a Tyler Hansbrough dunk attempt that led to a runout. END OF THE FIRST QUARTER: IND 32, PDX 25. Indiana shot 15 free throws in the opening frame.

2. The Pacers quickly stretched the lead to double-digits with Nate getting T'd up ripping the young officiating crew for them missing a call on the Pacers holding a cutter. The Indiana lead topped out at 13 points at the 10:00 mark.

Around the 8:00 mark, momentum shifted dramatically. indiana began missing and turning the ball over while the Blazers hit their shots. The run was 15-2 and the lead was erased. It was a tie game at the 6:00 mark on a Rudy jumper. Fernandez and Matthews were the scoring heroes of the comeback.

The Blazers took their first lead at 3:45 with an Andre layin cutting along the baseline — a crafty vet, he. The Pacers quickly came back however, retaking a 3 point lead with a Dunleavy bomb as the game moved to its final TV timeout of the half. 

The Blazers went zone with great effect, Darren Collison throwing the ball away, but Rudy was unable to finish on the other end and fouled on the way back. It was a 4 point turnaround and Rudy to the bench with his third personal. It was Luke Babbitt time with 1 minute remaining. It was Indiana who finished like they knew what they were doing, with Portland fritzing away points with stupid fouls. HALFTIME SCORE: IND 60, PDX 54. The finish was 14-6 for indiana.

3. Indiana opened with 5 quick points and the lead was double digits again. At 10:08 Roy Hibbert blocked LMA driving in the paint. It was his 4th foul and he headed to the bench in favor of the pesky Jeff Foster. The lead 11 points, Nate needed another early time out to stop the bleeding. Portland was shooting 42%, Indiana was at 51% — a recurring theme this year.

Foster snorked up offensive rebounds like a Kobiashi at an all-you-can-eat sushi bar — he had a total of 10 boards in his first 12 minutes of action, providing copious second chances to a team who really didn't need them. Inside of 6:00 the Pacers matched their game high 13 point lead. The Blazers opened the quarter shooting 1-for-9 from the field.

At 3:51 LMA committed his 4th personal foul. Przybilla for LMA is not the best way to be coming back from a 10 point deficit. Danny Granger made it 12 points with a long jumper, which made 23 points for him. Portland traded a few buckets, but had insufficient firepower. Indiana was put to the free throw line 35 times through 3 quarters, compared to just 14 for the Blazers, which was a large part of the story of the game. END OF THE THIRD QUARTER: IND 86, PDX 72. The closing run was 6-0 Pacers. Good night, Martha.

4. LMA fouled out after only 2:07 of action. I missed that part jumping from the pre-recorded end of the 3rd Quarter to the exciting Luke Babbitt hour in real time. I couldn't come up with a compelling lie to tell myself why I should go back and watch the first 9 minutes of dreck.

With 3 minutes to play it was a 17 point Pacer lead and garbage time was underway. It's hard to tell with the Blazers though, they're so thin. Indiana was outrebounding Portland 57-37, which was one large part of the story. I guess you can safely say this: if a team gets way the hell more free throw attempts, shoots a higher percentage from the field, and totally outrebounds their opponents, they're going to win handily. And Indiana did.

Well, I reckon this DVR deal works pretty good. A couple of bugs to work out with the timer and I never did quite catch up with the action, but I approve nonetheless. The Blazers? Lots more to disapprove of there, but, seriously — we all know in our guts this team is too shallow to contend. Camby needs to get back FAST or this team is heading for a date with a ping pong ball.

FINAL SCORE: iNDIANA PACERS 100, PORTLAND TRAIL BLAZERS 87.

The horrible shooting Blazers shot 36.4% and had 8 big offensive rebounds. Blech.

NBA.COM BOX SCORE.

Let's take at this thang graphically, shall we?

All righty, here's the latest set of graphic depictions of catastophe. CLICK THE LINK if ye be men of valor...

A. The Blazers actually took a momentary lead with a 21-6 run in the 2nd Quarter before flushing it away with a 14-4 run immediately thereafter. There was balanced scoring by Portland in the period.

B. Sean Marks was +5 in Plus/Minus and Luke Babbitt was +2 to lead the Blazers for the evening. Which goes to show... The Nuclear Nevadan also had 4 rebounds in garbage time.

C. Rudy Fernandez was team-high with 19 points off the bench, which is probably a pretty good indicator that the Blazers were in trouble from the get-go.

D. LMA only played 2:07 in the 4th Quarter — I guess Nate was worried about the big Cavaliers game tomorrow night  rule that says NBA players only get six fouls or something.

Jackasses Credits:

"Another Woman Comes Forward in Tony Parker Cheating Scandal!!" FitPerez.com, Nov. 22, 2010.

Jason Jones, "Westphal Punishes Cousins for 'Immature' Gesture during Game," Sacramento Bee, Dec. 23, 2010. Modified Dec. 26, 2010.

Photo Credits: Tony Parker: M. Otero, Associated Press.  OJ Mayo: Associated Press.  LeBron James: Mike Ehrmann, Getty Images.  Kevin Garnett: Charles Krupa, Associated Press.  DeMarcus Cousins: Rich Pedroncelli, Associate Press. All images heavily tweaked in Photoshop by Tim Davenport.

2010-11 VIEW INDEX.