I detest to the utmost that my farewell post is a post of poop.

I hate poop and all its related topics. As a child, when dad used to burp at the dinner table I could hardly eat another bite.

Background: Idol put up a callout post on 12/12/10. I then wrote a post calling out tih because he continually brings up poop. Yuk, just Yuk. tih was  banned so i didn't post it. Below the jump is that post.

Farewell

Before we get to the jump and my poopy post I want to say goodbye and how much I have enjoyed being here the last 2+ years. To me the JD has never been junk. It’s always been pure gold. Well Ok, there was some silver and sometimes a little dross, but If I were to count up all the laughter of my life over these 2+ years, I would guess the larger percentage of it was right here in the JD.

I will miss all you guys and girls. It seems strange to say that here amongst all this junk I grew as a person. And, I think I saw some of you grow as well.

Why am I leaving:  

It’s hard to put into words. Perhaps an illustration would be suitable.

Probably all of us have had one or two times in our lives where there was a magical moment or special evening. Maybe it was a Friday night dance where 5, 10, 20 years later someone says, "remember that Friday night dance", and everybody knows exactly what night you're talking about.

It was a night where a poor kid from across town came to the dance, and because this night was radiated in a euphoric purple haze, the most beautiful prom queen in 50 years says to this poor kid, "Will you be my dance partner tonight." The band was playing, the joint was jumping, and nobody sits or stands against the wall this whole night. You don’t even need a dance partner this night because the music is just too good. Everyone is dancing on the floor tonight.

The band plays on, long into the morning. After it’s all over, your buddies are saying come on lets go. Everyone’s gone and there are 2 cars left in the parking lot. Your buddies are in one car, and the other car is waiting for the prom queen. It’s you and the most beautiful girl in the world standing there. You give her a kiss - and it lasts 10 minutes. You know and she knows it will be the last kiss you both will ever have together. But at the same time you both also know, even at that moment, it is the finest of all kisses - It is the kiss of a lifetime.

While, except for the camaraderie, probably 80% of our junk could be burned and we would never miss it. But every now and then in this thing we call the JD, there was a moment of magic, a magic like "That Friday night dance". I loved those moments.

For me, that magic is gone, and it hurts a little, and even a lot. But I want to thank each and every one of you for making all that magic possible. It was true bliss - I will remember it forever.

What I regret:

I regret that I never made it into idol’s profile of quotes. There was however 2 or 3 times where I thought, hey, this comment might make it. But idol, your standards are high indeed.

I regret that I never got to use my newly created pickup lines on fanfaraway. I worked on them diligently for 6 months. Think about this fanfaraway. After the jump you’re going to read my post of poop, and somewhere along the way you’re going to smile. You may even find yourself laughing, and if I can create laughter with something as despicable as poop, just think what I can do with the finer culinary tools of top ramen or chicken noodle soup. I won’t bring up ginger lobster in a sauce of garlic and basil. I wouldn’t want you to die in my arms.

It’s probably better that someone else woos you. I would hate to think you might fall for me just because of my bronze body and chiseled good looks. I know how shallow you can be at times. Bye sweetie.

I regret not being around here a little more often in the last 6 months and getting to know some of the newer posters.

What I will miss:

I will miss all of you. Last night in less than a minute I counted up over 30 people I have come to know. I quit counting but also realized that there are some posters here I never replied to, and you never replied to me, yet I got to know you as well.

I will miss everything from L-TrainFTW’s weather reports to Mortimer’s ugly mug.

 

I will miss the creativity of all you crazy people. I’ve never met a group of people so insanely resourceful. You guys could rival the most genius think tank ever. 

Who can forget when we had that laugh fest for about 48 solid hours - Those fictitious books were a riot, among countless other things.

Shower Presence

by Joel Przybilla
 

How not to run a 4 on 1 fast break

by Nate Mcmillan

It looks like everyone is carrying on fine around here and I’m happy for that. It pains me I won’t be here. But for me it’s like being on your wedding night, the I do’s have been said, the rice has been thrown, and as we drive away in the limo my new bride says to me, "Now, you do realize there will be no sex in this marriage."

I don’t want to say hastily its goodbye forever, mainly because I’m a person who keeps my word. But right now it just feels like forever.
If I can get out of this funk I’m in, I’ll be back.

The only photo i have is with my sweaty forehead after a hard nights work.

Peace out brothas and sistas.

 Here's the jump, be careful where you step. 

Junk word of the day "moratorium".

Definition: temporary cessation or suspension
Use moratorium in a sentence/Paragraph/or Junk Drawer

I’m calling you out tih. Yeah, that’s right, may the bird of paradise poop on your little pointy head.
I’m mandating a moratorium on poop for a solid 24 hours of junk.
Yes, you are currently junking in a poop free zone.
There shall be no poop, or anything like it, in the JD for 24 hours.
No poop, no barf, no puke, no rope climbing, no bazookas, no spinning your kid like a whirligig while he pukes on everything in sight, no mentioning of cleaning up after a puking whirligiging kid, no mention of involuntary puke fests (no matter how fun they are). No snot, no "my back teeth are floating", no slobber, no mucus, no booger butts, no swapping spit, NADA.

Purposely changing the subject to get that bad taste from my mouth, and because I like minty freshness far more, has anyone watched ESPN’s 30 30 shows. They're great. The one titled "Winning Time" is an awesome one hour of television. It covers 2 years of the playoff series between Indiana and the NY Nicks, in the 94 & 95 seasons.

There’s drama to the tenth degree. Watch it. You’ll be glad you did.

There’s the on court drama, and oh man these are physical games. A large percentage of the fouls in these games would be flagrant fouls today. 
Then there’s the on court drama between Reggie Miller and Spike Lee. This drama plays out while the game is being played. And it goes through both seasons.
Then there’s the drama between the Nicks fans and Spike Lee, because the fans think Lee caused them to lose a game.

There’s far more of course. This show will mesmerize you. Check it out.

Ah, that minty fresh taste. The junk is now yours.