A Personal Reflection on Lance Stephenson
by BlazerFan1 on Aug 19, 2010 10:34 AM PDT
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PrintTo preface this post, it contains triggering material, and is a bit off -topic. It isn't specifically Blazer related and includes a bevy of social commentary.
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Several months ago, Dave wrote a post about a fundraiser benefiting victims of domestic violence. Even though It was difficult to read and respond to the post, all Dave was doing was getting the word out for a very worthy cause. A cause that never ever gets burn in the sports world, a cause that is skimmed over in lieu of contract ramifications and team dynamics. A cause that is so rarely spoken of because its still doomed to the bottom of a Public Realm Hell Hole, that bringing it up becomes so controversial and touchy no one ever actually says much.
But talking about domestic violence is the best way to prevent it .
So when I read about the recent allegations against an up and coming rookie , who is charged with some serious acts of violence against his girlfriend, I am incredulous due to a local media member's response , but more importantly, I am terribly and suddenly compelled to write about it. Because a frank and honest conversation about the double standard in the media and public regarding athletes that "allegedly" hit women, Is one of the best ways to raise awareness, even if it hurts. In the long run, it is indeed for the absolute best.
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Lance Stephenson is a New York native, attending the same high school as Sebastian Telfair and Steph Marbury. He was a decorated high school athlete, winning numerous accolades and awards. By every measurement , his future was and still is bright. He even starred alongside the Blazers' own Jerryd Bayless in Gunnin' For That Number 1 Spot.
During those years one could argue that "culture issues" - as we in Portland have come to understand that phrase- began to arise. He got in trouble and was accused of groping a girl at school. The details of that incident are hard to find, I don't consider that a coincidence.
Now Stephenson is an Indiana Pacer, a high risk rookie and who , if everything were to work out, was considered by many to be a steal. His troubles suck for the team , and really suck for those who worked so hard to get the guy, because he's talented on the court , despite any personal ongoing issues. But nothing , of course , is as important as the injuries, both internally and externally , of the victim.
Obviously , the "alleged" actions are the most detrimental for his "alleged" victim, but in our culture, in the sports universe- an inherently sexist world that mostly uses women shamelessly- the victim of an "alleged" domestic violence incident doesn't even cause a shred of concern.
What matters to me is not what his career will be like. His career isn't in jeopardy because lawyers, the team and the league will deal with this "issue" and it will soon be such an afterthought, most of you won't even remember Lance's transgression in two days.
But I will. Let me describe to you what "allegedly" happened that lead to Stephenson's troubles. Per the Huffingtonpost, which cites prosecutors:
Authorities say the confrontation occurred around 5 a.m. Sunday when the woman, Jasmine Williams, was returning home to her apartment building with two friends. Witnesses said Stephenson was waiting for her and yelled, "Are you kidding me?" before pushing her down the stairs. A criminal complaint provided Monday by the Brooklyn district attorney's office said that as Williams lay at the bottom of the stairs, Stephenson picked up her head and slammed it on the bottom step.
Because kicking her down the stairs wasn't enough . He had to make a point, by shoving her head violently into the wall and screaming at her. The uncontrolled rage, the complete disregard for her life, and endangerment of her person , his person, as well as any potential bystanders , shows a guy who has complete disregard for pretty much any and everything. From the "allegations" , all that mattered to him at that moment, was to demolish physically ,mentally and emotionally, the woman who is the mother of his kid.
It is an "allegedly" classic display of domestic violence- a situation that occurs to 1 in 4 women in this country. What is also classic is the generic response, or no response, from the NBA , the media, and many in the sports world .
In the remainder of the Huffingtonpost story , all of the annoying and really predictable statements are reported: Ebanks (Lawyer of Stephenson) calls the charges against his client "very serious," adding: "Everyone, especially Lance, regrets that this incident occurred. We look forward to addressing these charges in the appropriate venues.", and the requisite comment from Larry Bird: "we'll wait for all facts to come to light" . Most comments have been about how this will affect, or not affect, Lance's career. No comments are about whether his "alleged" victim is still in a neck brace or if she's been released from the hospital. It is almost as if not one word can be uttered about his "alleged" victim, for fear of tarnishing his budding career.
There are a lot of reasons for this, first being that the case is still in the "alleged" stage, meaning he's "innocent until proven guilty". Sadly this never helps in a case of domestic violence , because by the time a victim actually gets to court (if she's ‘lucky' enough to be hit by someone famous , or has money to hire an attorney, or is strong enough at that moment to actually file a case against her attacker) there has been so much time for reconciliation and more commonly, victim blaming , that the damage has already been done to the victim and no amount of jail time, fees or classes for abusers are going to change anything for all parties involved.
And the public most certainly won't be convinced or concerned for her plight. In fact, much to the chagrin of people such as myself, the victim in the Lance Stephenson incident has been for the most part nameless and faceless. To many, she's just another minor distraction to a team trying not to suck during the 2011 NBA season. It is the second part of this tragedy , and why I'm writing about the story today.
There is another , more sordid, reason Stephenson's story has garnered such little attention. Domestic violence is so prevalent in our society, that it is almost subconsciously disregarded as unimportant- the public /private split relegates violence to the family(private home) - meaning most people still perceive violence against women to be "personal matters" that shouldn't be dealt with in public.
No one wants to admit that it is an endemic issue in our society , but the truth is, with statistics showing one of four women having experienced intimate partner abuse during their lifetime and "In a single day in 2008, 16,458 children were living in a domestic violence shelter or transitional housing facility. Another 6,430 children sought services at a non-residential program" (link) , there is no denying how much of an issue domestic violence has become.
What is more, an old stereotype prevails about black men, originating from the days of slavery , that they are violent by nature and can't be fully "harnessed". (link) This is not true of course, but it is part of the reason why when a black man shoves a woman down the stairs, it isn't as newsworthy as if he were white.
All of this contributes to the reason why no one cares too much about the victim, why Lance Stephenson will be essentially protected and coddled by the media and NBA , and he'll go on to have a decent career . (Maybe he won't, we don't actually know, but based on talent , he's got a shot at a decent career.) And his girlfriend is still another random statistic to all of us, the reason (maybe) for putting Stephenson's career in jeopardy , and root cause of his troubles.
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After Greg Oden went down last season, I snidely and acerbically joked to anyone that would listen (mostly myself) asking , " why do I have to be so passionate about two of the worst causes: Women's Rights and The Portland Trail Blazers?" I am always only half joking when I ask that question, because when stories like Lance Stephenson's come up I am torn. And it really sucks.
I have no philosophical reflections to offer on it, the point is I love basketball and I love the Blazers while at the same time wanting to end partner violence. My love for basketball and my passion for ending partner violence both have deeply personal roots. And they never reside harmoniously within me but usually, they are kept in separate compartments and dealt with individually - we all have conflicting interests, so I'm sure you know how it goes.
When the two issues I am most passionate about (seemingly inevitably) collide, it really , really, reallllly sucks. Because I want to not only watch every NBA and Blazer game , I want to absorb it, live it and feel it. When I read about an NBA basketball player "allegedly" brutalize a woman, and read the predictable response from the sports world, and I comprehend the underlying racial ramifications of the story , I become compelled to stop giving my extra money, extra love, and extra time to an industry that in small part, perpetuates violence against women.
But I could never actually Stop Watching. And I will never stop talking about the perpetual issue of domestic violence. Even though it is hard to read and deal with stories such as Lance's, I cant shut off the NBA and basketball, and I can't stop thinking one day we won't have to worry so much about partner abuse. Although partner abuse has many causes, and there are complicated and intricate reasons it is so prevalent, to bring stories like Lance's into more open forums and talk about them does help, if for not other reason than educating people and raising awareness.
-Sophia
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Oregon Department of Human Services
Family Violence Prevention Fund
Colliins, Patricia . Black Sexual Politics: African Americans, Gender, And the New Racism
HuffingtonPost: Lance Stephenson Arrested For Attacking Girlfriend
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since i know nothing about this guy or his story
why not let the courts decide before we judge this guy on allegations that may or may not be true? last i checked we were innocent until proven guilty in america. either way DV sucks for all parties involved and a lot of the times its sad bc it often goes unreported and the cycle repeats itself over and over and over.
"It's not the dress that makes you look fat, its the fat that makes you look fat!" ~Al Bundy
"Did they really expect me to bow down to Jesus?!?" ~Sophia
"At first glance, I saw a fairly unremarkable penis." ~Sophia on Greg Oden
by Philthyanimal on Aug 19, 2010 10:39 AM PDT reply actions 9 recs
last i checked we were innocent until proven guilty in america.
Even if it sounds like this might be a pretty clear cut case against him (what with the witnesses and all), it still needs a day in court before he can be punished for this. It’s the design of our legal system.
Violence in general makes me sick. And as a somewhat old fashioned dude (I’m only in my late 20s), I’m even more sickened when women and children are the victims of these crimes. I don’t know if a social problem like domestic violence can ever be stopped, but through awareness it can certainly be policed more efficiently by both law enforcement and members of the community. People need to know that it’s wrong and it needs to be stopped/reported.
its hard for victims to report these crimes
after all of the psychological abuse that they have faced. its crazy bc anytime a person’s mugshot is shown on tv, subconsciously i cant help but to think that person is guilty. so i try to withhold judgement until that person is actually found guilty.
"It's not the dress that makes you look fat, its the fat that makes you look fat!" ~Al Bundy
"Did they really expect me to bow down to Jesus?!?" ~Sophia
"At first glance, I saw a fairly unremarkable penis." ~Sophia on Greg Oden
by Philthyanimal on Aug 19, 2010 10:58 AM PDT up reply actions
By making more members of the community aware the idea is that more “safe havens” are created and more people are looking and listening for signs of distress. If you see or hear something that doesn’t seem right, you need to talk to someone about it, whether it’s DHS, the cops or a counselor at a school. We need to all get used to this concept of REALLY looking out for each other.
Exactly.
Has anybody seen that magazine, Busted, that they sell for a buck at Plaid and Seven Eleven, etc?
It’s basically just a roundup of all the mugshots for Multnomah county over the last week or month. Complete with the charge, etc.
Basically, it just implies that everybody in it is completely guilty of whatever they’ve been arrested for, and it completely plays on the human psyche’s tendency towards assumption. In this case, assuming someone is guilty of something if they’ve been arrested/jailed/charged.
Not that hard.
I did 40 days in jail for an alleged DV incident. Something I didn’t even do and you know what at least a third of the people in jail are in there for DV. Especially women. I would say at least half are in there for DV.
Devils advocate question
why is it more “sickening” to you when women and children are the victims of domestic violence?
I'm a grown man stuck inside the mind of a 3 year old
by The Arkitect on Aug 19, 2010 11:08 AM PDT up reply actions
I’m admittedly a little more old fashioned in the way I think when it comes to this situation (not necessarily on gender roles in the broader sense though). I see women and children, on average, to be at a physical disadvantage to men (again, on average). Most men who are going to hit a woman or a child are doing so because they KNOW they can “win” this fight/argument/etc. by getting physical.
Can’t say I have a reason for it, other than that’s the way I think. I don’t think it’s too uncommon though… am I wrong?
I don’t think it’s an uncommon perception, but male victims of DV can be just as damaged and are statistically less likely to report it because of the perceptions associated with being abused by a woman
I'm a grown man stuck inside the mind of a 3 year old
by The Arkitect on Aug 19, 2010 11:18 AM PDT up reply actions 1 recs
That’s true, and I don’t mean to make light of that experience. I just have a gut, Pavlovian response to women and children being abused. I’m an educator, so it’s a natural response with a lot of training behind it, I guess.
yeah, I understand your perspective… I had the same opinion until I found out that my brother in law was the victim in an abusive marriage… it was primarily physical abuse and at least from my perspective now, it’s damage is equal to that of when a man abuses a woman (which does not make that instance any less heinous)
I'm a grown man stuck inside the mind of a 3 year old
by The Arkitect on Aug 19, 2010 11:29 AM PDT up reply actions
I guess that situation becomes a part of your life that will really shake your opinion up. I’m interested to know how commonplace it is. I’ll have to look at some data on that mode of DV when I have the time or I need to get depressed in a hurry.
Shooting from the hip here, but the more classic definition, in which an adult male is the perpetrator and not the victim, seems to be a bigger problem in terms of sheer numbers.
it is… but it’s impossible to get accurate numbers because DV so often goes unreported in both cases
I'm a grown man stuck inside the mind of a 3 year old
by The Arkitect on Aug 19, 2010 11:41 AM PDT up reply actions
In the larger scheme, talking about what is worse doesn’t help the situation. It doesn’t matter what’s worse (M vs F or F vs M) or what is reported. DV should stop regardless of the genders.
The point should be Us vs. DV.
by Name's Ash on Aug 19, 2010 11:49 AM PDT up reply actions 2 recs
correct… my point as that they are equal
I'm a grown man stuck inside the mind of a 3 year old
by The Arkitect on Aug 19, 2010 11:51 AM PDT up reply actions
I think the author's point is ALSO that if a person is in a position to make
$$$ for others, they may not EVER be found guilty, even if he/she actually is guilty.
I tend to feel most upset when I hear of DV against children and animals. To me they are more “helpless”.
IMO, DV is not good in any situation. I feel when it occurs amongst adults that said adults have more of a choice to GET OUT OF THAT SITUATION than children or animals.
This is a very thoughtful and well written post. Rec.
by Natsthecat on Aug 19, 2010 1:25 PM PDT up reply actions 1 recs
I also think that if there was a way for corporations/municipalities
to make a ton of $$ punishing those who commit DV, that those in “charge” would make sure these laws were in place to bring about justice to all.
Do you like to poke hornet's nests also?
What do you mean by “just as damaged”? I’m certain I can find many stats suggesting that men are more likely to murder their spouses as part of DV than woman are (even including that many women who commit “murder as part of DV” are doing it to defend themselves).
see above
I'm a grown man stuck inside the mind of a 3 year old
by The Arkitect on Aug 19, 2010 11:29 AM PDT up reply actions
Still not sure how to take the statement:
damage is equal to that of when a man abuses a woman
Are you speaking in general/on average? At the extremes? Purposefully vague?
I bet if I quantified and then added up all of the damage from a man to a woman and from a woman to a man from every couple ever that the men would win on average and in total sum.
to further clarify
I mean a man hitting a woman in anger is just as traumatizing as a woman hitting a man in anger for the victim in that particular instance… I realize women are more likely to be the victims of DV statistically, but I was referring to a case by case basis in this instance
I'm a grown man stuck inside the mind of a 3 year old
by The Arkitect on Aug 19, 2010 11:36 AM PDT up reply actions
yeah, … trust me, I want no part of riling the hornets nest in a sensitive topic post (outside the JD)… just trying to bring up something I felt was a related issue to what ArbyOSU was saying
I'm a grown man stuck inside the mind of a 3 year old
by The Arkitect on Aug 19, 2010 11:39 AM PDT up reply actions
everything has a time and a place
and this is neither of those
I'm a grown man stuck inside the mind of a 3 year old
by The Arkitect on Aug 19, 2010 11:47 AM PDT up reply actions
A lot of it depends on how we define abuse
In my state we are very liberal with how we define abuse until its something thats commonly done to men.
Threatening to take the children, ram, someone with child support, make a false DV allegation and jail someone for something they didn’t do is far more abusive than a slap in the face to a man however you call the police and tell them your wife or girlfriend slapped you and they take her to jail. Tell them she is threatening to take the kids or make a false DV charge and they have no set response. Men are often abused by stuff that has no legal definition and are more tolerant about stuff like getting hit in the face that does have legal definition. I for one would much rather my gf slap me than get hauled away in cuffs because she said I slapped her.
by Kaanyr Vhok on Aug 24, 2010 12:09 PM PDT up reply actions 1 recs
Great points.
The abuses of a legal system twisted for domestic control continue to be one of many ways that the system is in no ways fair, let alone favorable, for women.
I tell what really makes it worse is the involuntary no-Contact order
http://washingtonstatecriminaldefense.com/domestic-violence-and-no-contact-orders/
Look at the last post. Really all of the post are tough to read because I know how common this is.
It's easy to see why they made these things and who they thought they would help.
But Ialways hear more of the bad and not the good about involuntary no-contact. And these stories all sounds sadly old and familiar.
I kind of disagree
If I try to put myself in the shoes of my wife: 4’11", about a hundred pounds… a little Asian woman. Most 12 year old boys are bigger and stronger than she is.
What would it be like to know that virtually every man you pass on the street could easily overpower you?
Now what happens if she’s in a relationship and becomes the victim of DV? What about her next relationship? It’s not hard to imagine how scary and powerless she might feel.
I’m just 5’11" a buck fitty. I am simply not afraid of women, and if one ever managed to kick my butt I could get out and be pretty confident it would never happen again in my entire life. I will never experience the powerlessness that my wife does every day.
Not to minimize individual acts of DV against men, but I don’t believe it would be nearly as traumatizing.
by levelhed on Aug 19, 2010 1:04 PM PDT up reply actions 1 recs
I think it could be just as traumatizing
just in different ways. No, they would probably not feel the loss of security as sharply, but the sense of shame and powerlessness would be just as bad and quite possibly worse.
In all of these circumstances we’re talking about someone who you love committing an act of violence against you, which is a pretty huge betrayal.
Good point, but shame is not on par with loss of security
Yes, there would be much more shame for the man, but shame is not as serious or debilitating as fear – and even a weak little guy has little to fear from women who are by their nature very much less threatening then testosterone filled men.
Again, there are millions of men in the US who are fully double the mass of my wife. She’s well balanced and generally unafraid, but one or two bad experiences could seriously and justifiably undermine her confidence. That’s just not a worry most men deal with.
it’s not about strength and weakness sometimes… for example my brother in law who was a victim is 6’-7" 300lbs… his ex-wife is obviously smaller than he is. However she is prone to violent outbursts and likes to throw sharp heavy objects. He abides by the common never strike a woman tenet many of us grew up with
I'm a grown man stuck inside the mind of a 3 year old
by The Arkitect on Aug 19, 2010 2:13 PM PDT up reply actions
True
It doesnt matter how big or strong someone is when they use a weapon.
by Kaanyr Vhok on Aug 24, 2010 12:14 PM PDT up reply actions
Even though I think he's guilty, I agree with you
I seem to remember a U of O running back that was practically railroaded off the team by a media member and people who used the incident to promote their own agenda when he was accused of domestic violence and his real crime was stupidity. When the truth came out on that, none of his detractors admitted they jumped to the wrong conclusion, they just jumped on the next story to promote their own agenda.
by tominhawaii on Aug 19, 2010 12:39 PM PDT up reply actions 2 recs
Yeah, it's usually unwise to rush to judgement on criminal proceedings; instead, it's often prudent ...
to let such matters play itself out in the legal system. It, too, is really aggravating when media members — such as John Canzano, who you referred to above — run with a “story to promote their own agenda,” as you succinctly stated.
it makes me sad that this comment is not only first, but recced to green
this isn’t about whether he’s innocent or guilty – the story is about how people treat victims. and how many times, as you of all people should know, abusers get away with their crimes particularly because of it.
S
The Princess of Blazersedge
Twitter.com/sophiabiabia Follow Me!!!
" It just takes an iron fist to keep the riff raff under control and her princess hand is mad strong" - Idoltime
by BlazerFan1 on Aug 20, 2010 9:13 AM PDT up reply actions 7 recs
Some folks have every right to approve of his comment, while you have every right to be saddened ...
by their approval. Maybe it’s just me, but that kind of dichotomy brings a smile to my face; it shows that we’re all unique individuals with our own differing perspectives on life.
Ah, individualism is a wonderful concept.
by AK1984 on Aug 21, 2010 3:14 AM PDT up reply actions 1 recs
maybe you should make ONE more comment about how "everyone
has the right to say and think what they want" or how we are all individuals. I am not sure anyone reading this post has grasped the concept .
The Princess of Blazersedge
Twitter.com/sophiabiabia Follow Me!!!
" It just takes an iron fist to keep the riff raff under control and her princess hand is mad strong" - Idoltime
by BlazerFan1 on Aug 21, 2010 2:46 PM PDT up reply actions 3 recs
sorry if we didn't read between the lines properly, Maybe shorten the post and hit upon points you want to get across in the future.
Things happen for a reason they say, but I say there's a reason things happen.
This is sad
Ok this discussion hitting a little to close to home for me, it was a great write Sophia, im glad you have such passion for this. no matter what triggered this or anything, men should not hit on women period, it dont make you tough but only weak and a coward. not sure if i agree with the black men get away with domestic violence more than white men do that you were kinda saying, or that its less newsworthy cause i think it might be the other way around, but i see what your saying.
by Blazingatrail24 on Aug 21, 2010 2:00 AM PDT up reply actions
rec
it’s august, and I welcome any read, especially a thinker. I caught myself thinking the same thing regarding how downplayed the incident will likely be in a few weeks
Depends. If he’s guilty, it might not disappear as quickly. Sadly, if he’s talented enough, the Pacers and the NBA certainly can make it fade away.
Just ask this guy:
What are you saying?
Sadly, these people can still have jobs? Sadly, people forget about others’ mistakes?
Why is it sad that people can make mistakes but their lives aren’t ruined?
Hopefully Ruben, and Lance if necessary had intensive therapy sessions, and medical help to control anger issues in the future. Would we know if that happened? Should we?
by MavetheGreat on Aug 19, 2010 11:36 AM PDT up reply actions
I thought he just slept with the nanny.
by Sabonis4Ever on Aug 19, 2010 10:09 PM PDT up reply actions
Ruben was convicted of something to the effect of attempted rape
Still on the Rex bandwagon.
by dan_the_man on Aug 19, 2010 10:45 PM PDT up reply actions
Yeah, I believe it was an Alford plea to be exact.
Either way, though, Ruben Patterson is an abhorrent human being.
Here are the full statements from the Pacers. It sounds like they are ready to cut ties with Stephenson quickly
Statement from Indiana Pacers President of Basketball Operations Larry Bird:
The news of Lance Stephenson’s arrest is very disappointing to the Pacers franchise and to me personally. We have worked very hard to bring in players that are excellent representatives of our franchise, community and state both on and off the court. Our commitment to this goal is too strong to permit the actions of one individual to reverse all of the positive strides that have been made as a franchise over the last couple of years or to hurt the image of the rest of the players on our team. Everyone in the Pacers organization remains strongly committed to our players representing Indianapolis and the state of Indiana in a positive way and will not condone behavior that reflects poorly on this franchise and community.
We are continuing to gather all of the facts regarding Lance’s arrest but regardless of the outcome of the investigation, Lance should not have put himself in the position he was in early Sunday morning. We have consistently emphasized to our players the importance of not putting themselves in situations where bad things can happen. Once all the facts are known we will deal appropriately with Lance so that he, the team and the entire Pacers community understands that this message cannot be ignored.
Fellow SBN site Indy Cornrows also hase some posts on the situation, e.g. this one when the news came out
http://www.indycornrows.com/2010/8/16/1626065/lance-bum-already-stephenson-no
The site usually doesn’t have a ton of comments, but when you check the sidebar posts and the comments you can see that fans are clearly not amused about the situation after the team had promised to rid itself of (to quote) “bums” in the wake of players like Tinsley, Jackson, and Shawne Williams getting into compromising situations several times.
"Listening to the media only increases your odds of failing at whatever you are doing" - Mark Cuban
Pacers really have a knack for finding these guys, don't they?
"A bizarre and extremely rare hybrid Blazer/Laker fan, Timbo has always struggled to contain the Beast Within, like Dr. Jekyll, Bruce Banner, or Ted Kennedy." — Miled Animal
Hmm, I'd argue that the Indiana Pacers have had a much worse track record regarding both ...
on-court and off-court incidents involving its players during the past several years when compared to the Denver Nuggets.
Isn't it fairly standard not to discuss the victim of DV in the press out of respect for the victim?
I can’t imagine they want a public reminder of the trauma they’ve just been through
I'm a grown man stuck inside the mind of a 3 year old
It’s a standard that varies from news outlet to news outlet. For example, The Oregonian doesn’t list the names of DV or sexual assault victims.
OT, but The O is also one of only a handful of newspapers that will not list the names of sports teams with names derived from Native American slurs, tribes or stereotypes.
Does that include the Seminoles?
Because I know that Florida State actually has permission from the Seminole tribe to use their name. Apparently the Seminoles like the idea of having a sports program that bears their name.
I must not fear. Fear is the mind-killer.—Dune
Truth
Apparently the Seminoles who were relocated to Oklahoma during the trail of tears attempted to sue FSU for using their tribe name, and the Floridian Seminoles shut down their Oklahoman counterparts.
(My family has many ties with FSU and are huge fans)
Yeah, that was the only part of the OP that I disagreed with
I’m not sure why the victim should be reported on, other than anonymously, unless she explicitly chooses to come forth with “her side of the story”. In this case, Stephenson forfeited any right to privacy through his actions, but his victim made no such choice in the matter, so it should be up to her discretion as to whether she wants to be forever associated with Stephenson’s actions.
The sad truth of it is, being publicly connected to an incident like this, even as a victim can severely complicate one’s life with negative consequences (just ask Katelyn Faber), so the victim should have some options as to whether she wants to deal with that. It’d be nice for more victims in publicized cases like this to stand up and put a face on DV for people, but I don’t begrudge them their right to privacy if they don’t want to deal with the media hoopla and idiotic accusations from morons.
Obviously in an ideal world we wouldn’t have to deal with accusations of women “profiteering” off their status as victims, but sadly, we don’t live in that ideal world.
At the very least, the OP’s characterization that she’s being ignored by the media for fear of “tarnishing his budding career” seems to be a red herring, at least in my eyes.
#52
It's an unfortunate double edged sword really.
On the one hand, as you say, divulging the victim’s personal information would inevitably lead to other traumas, not the least of which being harassment from the perpetrator’s fans. On the other hand, keeping the victim anonymous is a huge contributor to the issue Sophia brings up above, in which the average person is unable to connect with the victim, so they connect with the perp by default.
Understandable
and while I’d prefer she were to come forward, I’m not the one who has to deal with all the issues that would entail, so it shouldn’t really be my decision to make, nor the media’s. Preserving her anonymity until she wants to relinquish it is simply the prudent move.
#52
Yet BlazerFan1, in the original post writes
And the public most certainly won’t be convinced or concerned for her plight. In fact, much to the chagrin of people such as myself, the victim in the Lance Stephenson incident has been for the most part nameless and faceless.
She perpetuates that, do a degree, by not attaching a name to the victim. Her name, Jasmine Williams" was released by prosecutors, and was in the original post she cites. But constantly refers to her only as an “alleged” victim. Doing so perpetuates the namelessness and facelessness of Ms. Williams.
Further, the insistence on putting the term “alleged” in quotes is also counterproductive and inflammatory. BlazerFan1 has already decided that Lance Stephenson is guilty and did everything Ms. Williams alleges. He may very well have, but none of us here know this as a fact: we weren’t there. She paints him to be a shameless thug. We have legal procedures in place for a reason. People are presumed innocent until proven guilty so that they will be convicted on facts, and not preconceptions.
Don’t get me wrong, Stephenson may well be the thug BlazerFan paints him to be. He may well have done what Ms. Williams claims. And BlazerFan is correct that domestic violence doesn’t get anywhere near the attention that it should. The reason for that likely are varied and complex. But perpetuating that by denying victims their identities in the guise of protecting the victims may not be the solution.
Lastly, I see no conflict between being an ardent basketball & Blazer fan, and working to stop domestic violence. Our sports culture may implicitly contribute to violence against and objectification of women (why do beach volleyball players wear skimpy bikinis instead of more practical one piece suits; why do female ice skaters have to make moves that essentially expose their crotches for all to see), but that does not mean that watching sports means you support those things. Furthermore, it is both unreasonable and unfair to lump all athletes, all basketball players, all Blazers into the same group as she wants to put Stephenson. Not all athletes abuse their wives and girlfriends.
by hercher on Aug 20, 2010 9:13 AM PDT up reply actions 2 recs
Larry Bird thinks he is guilty too.
In Bayless I trust.
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Yeah, I'm not a fan of how Sophia butchers semantics from time to time; that's her right, though.
I, too, am not a fond of her occasionally using simplistic generalizations for people, as I believe that we’re all unique individuals — regardless of our natural-born gender (i.e., male, female, or intersex), sexual orientation, ethnicity, or any thing else (e.g., religious affiliation/spiritual belief or lack thereof, socioeconomic status, et cetera) — as a result, you, Sophia, Lance Stephenson, myself, and every single person alive out there shouldn’t automatically be lumped together with other people who are of a similar ilk. Indeed, each situation involving a given individual should be viewed and dealth with on a case-by-case basis.
Excellent and relevant post
You should be applauded for raising awareness and educating all of us on this topic. It certainly is a complicated problems without a simple solution. The “innocent until proven guilty” foundation of our legal system is a necessary evil that cannot be avoided. It is very sad that it allows the guilty to hide and escape swift justice. It is even more sad the damage that it caused to the victims of the abuse.
I understand the dilemma you struggle with in regards to supporting the NBA, however, I am not clear what it is that you would like to see the NBA do. The NBA is not responsible for the actions of its players, coaches, etc. Nor can it legally take actions against those accused of these acts before they are found guilty by our legal system. What would you have them do? I am curious.
by mlsinpdx on Aug 19, 2010 11:12 AM PDT reply actions 1 recs
good ass article. my take on it here… www.nbawrap.com or http://nbawrap.blogspot.com/2010/08/lance-stephenson-fcked.html
i just wanted to talk about Lance Stephenson as an NBA player. didn’t even mention the girlfriends name because i know nothing about her.
partner abuse and domestic violence are both serious issues that sadly do get brushed under the rug.
Not sure how the national media is reporting the story (or if they are)
But I’ve read several threads on the story, and many many fans have expressed sympathy and concern for the victim. So she hasn’t gone completely unnoticed. Of course, many other fans have said some rather dumb things.
Another tragic result of...
the continued degradation of women present in Hip Hop culture today.
From a father of a beautiful, vibrant African American girl, I find it despicable to see the “in your face” assault on girls and young women that is thundering through our country daily via Hip Hop.
Pre-teen girls are constantly being assaulted with verbal abuse from their peers which is legitimized in the world of hip hop. This verbal degradation eventually leads to physical violence as girls and young women are seen as objects to use and dispose of rather than human beings with feelings and basic rights.
It is up to our community to act everyday to fight against the ignorance present in Hip Hop and continue teaching our children that the messages in the music they listen to every day need to be ignored and that they need to focus on being compassionate to others.
by Rip City Reign on Aug 19, 2010 11:38 AM PDT reply actions 1 recs
That's a straw man
Hip Hop culture, whatever that means, is no more responsible for the decisions of violent idiots to abuse their wives/girlfriends than the “NASCAR culutre” of women who should always be barefoot/pregnant/making dinner. Individuals make their own decisions, the media sells products. We wouldn’t be reading this if Lance Stevenson’s parents had decided to raise their son to be a man of character rather than annnointing him as the financial savior of their family (before “Gunning for that #1 Spot”, they’d tried a reality web show, book deal, and all sorts of other crap). If you want to stop domestic violence, start in your house, not pop culture
James, Wade, and Bosh = the Nazgul. Once they were great kings, until their greed got the best of them in their lust for the ring.
by blazeraddict on Aug 19, 2010 1:28 PM PDT up reply actions 3 recs
We wouldn’t be reading this if Lance Stevenson’s parents had decided to raise their son to be a man of character rather than annnointing him as the financial savior of their family
Rec.
If Luke Babbitt and Jerryd Bayless played a game of table tennis I'm not sure who would win but the ping pong ball would lose no matter what. - Ben 7/16/2010
but isn't that the position a lot of poor men are put in once it becomes clear that they might have a shot at the big time?
It is amazing the situations these men are put in. As observers we can pretend that they aren’t human, but they are. If you grew up in poverty with very few options for escape, and you found a way to save yourself, your family, and your friends, wouldn’t you feel those pressures and expectations?
Things happen for a reason they say, but I say there's a reason things happen.
You may have some valid points, but
you are rallying against a symptom, not the problem.
Hip-hop has been, and for the most part remains, the voice of the people. What “these people” decide to say when given that voice, is not so much a product of the music that create, but rather the values and beliefs that have been instilled upon them.
Patently catagorizing hip-hop as you do, is exactly the same absured conclusion that was reached by the older generations who classified rock-n-roll as “unholy devil music!”. Sure, some may fit this catagorization, but, that is because certain bands/people have chosen to express that viewpoint, and it has nothing to do with the music they use to express it.
For example, look at an artist like 2Pac (who gets lumped in with other rappers who continuously degrade women because he uses certain words to describe them). He has a variety of songs discussing the plights of women in society and the problems and injustices/inequities they face. But, these aren’t the songs the women’s rights people cling on to, because they don’t further their point.
And, yes, there are countless hip-hop songs that call women B’s and H’s, etc. But, if you truly take everything into context, often times, they are only “calling it as they see it.” Basically, taking the “if it walks like a duck and talks like a duck…” approach to the women they hang around.
Now, I’m far from defending ALL hip-hop (as there is some truly degrading things thrown around in some songs), but I do feel the need to point out that trying and blame a certain style/genre of music for societies problems is complete and utter cop out.
There is a cultural endemic pervasive beyond the media choices.
For example, a friend of mine is writing and directing a true story film about breaking the chain of violence, particularly in a generational situation within a black family. Researching the project, he was surprised to uncover a surprising fact, that within many lower income african american families, culturally it is acceptable for the mother to abuse the father and children, but not for the father. You can see inklings of this in comedies aimed at a black demographic, in which strong willed moms and grandmas regularly “pop” their kids, and it’s meant to be funny. This isn’t a racial issue, it is a cultural issue and certainly not to say DV is only prevalent within one group, just that this is one example of a cultural link in the chain of DV (you can find them in any culture, it just may be harder to “see” in one’s own because "that’s how we were raised). Violence begets violence, so a mother smacking around their kids just makes more adults prone to DV themselves, just as it would from a male figure.
You're turning that around a bit
Saying that “there [are] some truly degrading things thrown around in some songs” is like saying sharks have “some” teeth. Lyrics degrading to women are the standard in Hip Hop, not the exception (from what I have listened to). Granted, I am not a Hip Hop aficionado, but I get the gist when I scroll through MTV and see one minute of nearly any Hip Hop video.
Having said that, I don’t think that the way we turn the tide is to silence the voices that are perpetuating this garbage through censorship. I think the way you do it is by hitting them where it hurts the most: the wallet. Record labels let people say what they want as long as it sells. If it doesn’t sell, they will silence the voices for us.
A home is where a wife, husband and kids should all be able to flee to, not from.
Ryan Gomes: forever a Blazer in our hearts.
Maybe the rap lyrics are a form of rebellion to the condition zaruga described.
Thats how I always saw it. Look up the Lil Jon song ‘stop f**king with me’. Its the cry of a verbal abuse victim.
Just going to play the Hip-Hop apologist...
Mainstream music is designed to be inflammatory. Listen to a Metal song sometime (a genre a pervasively white as hip-hop is black). It is just as awful as mainstream hip-hop, just in a different vein. There are other groups within the genre (hip-hop) that are thought-provoking, musically talented, and do not contribute to the “hip-hop culture.” I guess in summary… it is naive to blame any of this on music, as is the case with every time any of society’s larger problems are blamed on music.
Things happen for a reason they say, but I say there's a reason things happen.
I don't see any cause and effect.
But either way it is really disappointing that feminists aren’t bringing hip hop to its knees for its offenses.
In Bayless I trust.
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Very nice article. This guy should be made an example of if he is in fact guilty. The thing that bothers me most about domestic violence is how the courts have deemed it not as severe as violence against a stranger.
As a paramedic, I see domestic violence A LOT. I can remember several calls where we treat a woman who is permanently injured by the perpetrator, and he gets off with a sentence that is much lighter than it should be.
One patient I remember had cuts across her whole face from a broken bottle her boyfriend used to hit her with. I went back to the same apartment less than a year later and ran on the guy who did it to her. He had just gotten out, only having served 6 months. He was in another DV dispute, and beat up his new GF who we were there for. He did get justice though, she called her brother who came over and beat him with a baseball bat. He went in another ambulance with a fractured face and missing teeth.
Domestic violence is just as ugly as violence not against your spouse, and should be treated the same. I don’t understand the logic behind lighter penalties for beating up your wife / husband / GF / BF.
"What people need to know is that those pictures were taken a year and a half ago, and I've grown since then." - Greg Oden
It's a touchy subject, both for old world thinking reasons, and the twisted emotional dependencies that most victims of DV are tied into with their assailents.
A more obvious example of this complexity is the fact that if you were to come to the rescue of a victim being harmed in front of you, in most cases the victim will attack their savior to protect the assailant.
One thing you didn't mention (or at least I didn't see it myself)...
Stephenson’s baby’s mother had allegedly been a victim for quite a while. Her own parents actually assisted in covering it up by going directly to Stephenson’s parents with those allegations long before this “alleged” incident. Whether that was out of genuine concern for their daughter, hope that it would enable him to move on and make himself (and her and the baby) NBA money, or a combination of both, it hints at how deep the hush-hush nature of domestic violence can be.
Thanks for sharing this story.
I agree wholeheartedly that domestic violence is too often swept under the rug when it comes to professional sports. However, I’m not that surprised at the way most of this type of news is reported in the media.
It is almost as if not one word can be uttered about his “alleged” victim, for fear of tarnishing his budding career.
And his girlfriend is still another random statistic to all of us, the reason (maybe) for putting Stephenson’s career in jeopardy , and root cause of his troubles.
It is extremely unfortunate, but the fact of the matter is that the bigger story is how this news will affect Stephenson’s future with the Pacers. While that shouldn’t be the most important part of the story, that’s what will generate the most clicks for the majority of the sites covering the story.
Thanks for raising awareness about this, though, and hopefully others will begin to do more of the same.
"Nicolas! You're the strongest boy in the world!"
i think of this story i think OJ
Pro athletes can get away with murder, it’s not ONLY domestic violence they are getting away with.
Pro athletes can get away with murder
if the prosecution totally botches the case.
I must not fear. Fear is the mind-killer.—Dune
I hope you will continue to observe and to stand solidly just in that place
where your two great passions collide. I guess it’s in the nature of our current civilization that many of our customs, businesses and sports go against the common good or otherwise encourage negativity. So I applaud you for speaking your truth about the cowardly and unprincipled leadership and ownership cadre of the NBA. Profit is their sole motive.
I would hesitate to confuse caution with "going against the common good."
The Pacers really just seem to be acting cautiously in this case. While if the accusations are true, then Stephenson certainly deserves a harsh punishment, he also deserves the opportunity to defend himself. It seems like the Pacers just want to be sure that they’re not rushing into this and possibly causing more trouble by a hasty decision. While domestic violence is certainly terrible, it would also be terrible to ruin a possibly innocent (it’s a slight chance) young man’s life just based off of accusations.
It seems pretty baseless to call the NBA ownership “cowardly and unprincipled.” Paul Allen does TONS of charity work with his fortune and has recently pledged to give billions to charity when he dies. While they certainly do have a healthy respect for profit, I would say that most if not all of them would put profit below these sorts of issues of human decency.
While I agree with Sophia’s general post, I feel that some of the issues she finds with this case stem more from people being cautious rather than trying to cover anything up. The media and the team can’t condemn something if they aren’t sure it has happened yet. While they almost certainly have a pretty good idea about things, it would be improper for them to jump to conclusions without giving all the sides a chance to defend themselves. We can speculate about these sorts of things because we have no impact on the outcome, but the team and the media actually have a responsibility to be fair and judicious in their handling of the situation.
I must not fear. Fear is the mind-killer.—Dune
Sophia: When will you be on Talkin' Ball again?
I think someone should hire you to be on my television.
Thank you for a thoughtful post that invites good discussion. – Elgin
GOP in HD
by 22baylor on Aug 19, 2010 12:31 PM PDT reply actions 1 recs
Thanks for this article, Sophia
I hadn’t even seen this story until I read this. As much as anything, I think that is a big statement about how the media deals with domestic violence. I’m a pretty active basketball fan, and this story wasn’t big enough news for me to notice.
Assuming the facts of the case are as being reported (and my quick internet searches haven’t seen anyone denying them), I hope the guy serves major jail time. If I was at a bar and pushed someone down a flight of stairs, then walked down the stairs to slam their head on the bottom step, I would be going to jail for several years. I hope that he sees no less, especially considering his previous record where he plead guilty to disorderly conduct. My guess? No time served, and a brief, token suspension from the league. I am fully prepared to be sickened.
Still on the Rex bandwagon.
Down here in California it doesn't help...
(and I’m still fuming about this) that the first thing the governor cut funding for when the financial crisis hit was funding for women’s shelters. This of course leaves victims with little recourse even if they do overcome the massive emotional obstacles inherent in separating from an abuser.
Such a tough situation for me to make a definitive statement on this particular situation.
My intellect tells me to not rush to judgement. But having friends who were the victims of abuse, I know that just avoiding conviction does not mean that he’s necessarily ‘innocent’, either. I guess I’ll just say that if the dude is guilty, he deserves to have the full book thrown at him.
Very few issues bring out a judgemental attitude in me like this one….
Appreciate a post that makes me think
Thank you, Sophia. My brain is just churning with thoughts that your post triggered. Most are tangents from your main subject though they are definitely about athletes and society. Maybe sometime I can get your views on them, but today I’ll try to stick to just one subject – itself a tangent.
Disclaimer : I’m going to refer to the victim as a woman and the abuser as a man, but I know it goes both ways so don’t anyone get on me for this.
One of the saddest things for me is the number of women who will not report abuse. I admit I am going on perception and have no stats to back me up, but there are no stats for unreported crimes. I remember reading several years ago that one reason the number of rapes per year appeared to be climbing was because women were becoming more willing to report the crime. The number of reported rapes was higher, not necessarily the number of actual rapes. But, how many occurences of domestic violence go unreported? And why? The victim’s comments often seem to be on the order of “oh he didn’t mean it; he promised he’ll never hit me again” or “I didn’t tell anyone because he said he’d kill me if I did” or “If I was a better wife/cook/lover he wouldn’t have …” How can we educate women that there are no excuses for abuse. I do understand that some women will not leave an abusive situation because they have nowhere to go. Not all communities have resources for victims and not all victims are able to get to some place that does. And so they stay.
It puzzles me why the women who are able to leave don’t. Or leave and return. Again and again. I often like to try to delve into the psychological aspects. Obviously for these victims it is low self-esteem, low self-confidence. “I can’t make it on my own”, “I don’t deserve anything better”. I’ve often read that some men who were abused as children and/or saw their mothers abused become abusers themselves. Why is this? Obviously a need for control – but what triggers this need? Is it also low self-esteem? By abusing people and animals they become more powerful in their own eyes?
What can be done to affect these individuals? Some women who grow up in an atmosphere of abuse obviously assume this is the normal way of life, yet others are determined to escape it. How can we change the viewpoint of those who know only abuse? Is it even possible to make them want to change? How do we convince the abused they need to report the abuse? How can we raise self-esteem and self-confidence in people we don’t know? Or do we just shrug and say “xyz happens”? What can be done to change the attitude of abusers? I can’t believe that jail would change the majority of them ; it only prevents them from hurting others and they’ll be out soon, free to abuse again. Requiring therapy won’t work for all though I do know a man who changed for the better after attending court-mandated anger management classes. So what do we do?
by jorga on Aug 19, 2010 8:47 PM PDT reply actions 2 recs
My dad has stopped reporting the times his wife hits him while drunk because he doesn't
want her to go to jail for as long as she probably would. And, if the courts force a separation, HE’S the one that would have to move. Perhaps this is another reason. The victims don’t think the punishment matches the crime.
Tell me what you don't like about yourself
I start here
in my own home. I treat my wife with respect and honor and it’s not acceptable for my 5 year old son to hit my 2 1/2 year old daughter (or the other way around). My kids will learn from the way my wife and I treat each other and how we teach them to act (oddly enough, Christian principles, but that’s a dirty phrase nowadays).
I also don’t drink which is a huge (and seemingly unspoken) player in domestic abuse. People who defend drinking never seem to mention its role in domestic abuse.
If Luke Babbitt and Jerryd Bayless played a game of table tennis I'm not sure who would win but the ping pong ball would lose no matter what. - Ben 7/16/2010
In the flip side, I bet pot smokers have lower levels of DV.
Tell me what you don't like about yourself
Than alcoholics?
That’s setting the bar pretty high….
If Luke Babbitt and Jerryd Bayless played a game of table tennis I'm not sure who would win but the ping pong ball would lose no matter what. - Ben 7/16/2010
So you do mean alcoholics.
In Bayless I trust.
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by staylost on Aug 19, 2010 10:59 PM PDT up reply actions 1 recs
Jorga
its called the cycle of violence and yes there are deep psychological , physiological and biological aspects to why a woman , in this case, will not leave a man. It should never be that we blame her for it though, ( i know you are not explicitly doing so)
The Princess of Blazersedge
Twitter.com/sophiabiabia Follow Me!!!
" It just takes an iron fist to keep the riff raff under control and her princess hand is mad strong" - Idoltime
for those of us who have been direct witnesses and/or victims ourselves
this is not some problem to sweep under the rug. If you know someone in an abusive relationship, help them get out of it now, and try to have them bring charges… trust me, you do know someone who is or was a victim. It is ridiculous that someone can earn millions being a role model for kids who has committed DV…
The only way to solve this problem is grass-roots campaigns, and I am very proud to know that the Blazers have this among other problems on their radar when choosing players…
Oh and Huffington is like my dream woman… intelligent sophisticated and a total feminist… love her, seriously.
I liked much of your post, Sophia, and rec'ed it.
I didn’t like that you used “allegedly” and “alleged” in quotes repeatedly. I’m in law school and the notion that our criminal justice system is based on a presumption of innocence is something that is near and dear to my heart. I understand your disgust for LS’s alleged actions and I share that sentiment, but until those allegations are proven, they’re nothing more than allegations. That said, it doesn’t detract from the main thrust of your post, which was passionately and convincingly argued.
I’m not sure that I see the racial element that you’re seeing. If anything, I feel like reaction would be more amplified because of Stephenson’s race. It seems unlikely to me that the media both overreacts to stories involving stereotypes about a black male (Tiger Woods can’t keep his pecker in his pants, [what a typical hypersexed black man]) and underreacts to them for the same reason (a black NBA player allegedly beat up the mother of his child [what a typical angry black man…ho hum]). Do you see what I mean?
"One of the bright spots of the young season has been rookie point guard Jonny Flynn, whose name sounds like he should be the lead character in a Broadway Musical. "What are you doing here, Jonny Flynn?" "Why I'm here to court trouble, and woo a girl, and build the most fantastical contraption the world has ever seen!" -- Dave, Game 7 Blazers versus Timberwolves preview
"It was bad reffing...but not rip apart the fabric of time bad." -- The Arkitect, Game 79 Blazers versus Mavericks Post-Game Thread
Maybe it's just me, but I don't see any racial element whatsoever. Heck, I recall that the story of Brett ...
Myers — who’s a Caucasian baseball player — hitting his wife got mainstream attention a few years ago.
http://sports.espn.go.com/mlb/news/story?id=2497723
http://nbcsports.msnbc.com/id/14352520/
yes i do
I will maintain that there is a racial aspect to it , although I only used, what , about 3 sentences to argue that point, because it is a minor part of it. Violence against women is so prevalent , that it actually affects more white women than minority (Latina and black , according to statistics) women- it is more prevalent amongst the lowest class of people, so I could and perhaps should have argued from a class , rather than race, stance.
regardless, my assertion about historical race constructs still stand. I don’t think they are irrelevant, and In the case of tiger woods, well , that in and of itself is a sociological case study.
As far as “alleged” in quotes, I am sorry that i have offended your lawyer-ey senses, I guess coming from someone that has been the “accuser” , we are often portrayed as liars UNTIL the “alleged” are “proven guilty” – to me that just plain ass backwards and its a big reason why many women don’t file charges , why they return to their abuser, and why there is such a thing as cycle of violence.
S
The Princess of Blazersedge
Twitter.com/sophiabiabia Follow Me!!!
" It just takes an iron fist to keep the riff raff under control and her princess hand is mad strong" - Idoltime
I understand what you mean
and don’t want to quibble over what, as you correctly pointed out, is a minor part of what was a very cogent post. While I don’t see those historical race constructs at play in this particular instance I definitely agree that they’re very much present in US society today.
You didn’t offend my lawyer-ey senses. :) I just think that the presumption of innocence is a fantastic thing. But I’ve never been in a legal procedure as a victim of abuse or as an accused abuser, so I can’t speak from personal experience like you can.
Like I said before, no pettifogging here. I agreed with both the vast majority and the fundamental thrust of your post. I’ve done a lot of work with Hispanic women who were brought here by American men, got married, and then had their husbands refuse to get them naturalized and took advantage of their fear and ignorance to force them into some truly despicable situations. There are some cold-blooded predators out there, and the more attention that you (and we) call to the violence they wreak in the private sphere the less able they will be to get away with it.
"One of the bright spots of the young season has been rookie point guard Jonny Flynn, whose name sounds like he should be the lead character in a Broadway Musical. "What are you doing here, Jonny Flynn?" "Why I'm here to court trouble, and woo a girl, and build the most fantastical contraption the world has ever seen!" -- Dave, Game 7 Blazers versus Timberwolves preview
"It was bad reffing...but not rip apart the fabric of time bad." -- The Arkitect, Game 79 Blazers versus Mavericks Post-Game Thread
by BlazersOrBust on Aug 20, 2010 11:04 AM PDT up reply actions
okay , thanks for clarifying
sorry for coming off defensive
Thanks for reading and commenting , you have some really insightful commentary that I am more than interested in.
S
The Princess of Blazersedge
Twitter.com/sophiabiabia Follow Me!!!
" It just takes an iron fist to keep the riff raff under control and her princess hand is mad strong" - Idoltime
Hugs
"One of the bright spots of the young season has been rookie point guard Jonny Flynn, whose name sounds like he should be the lead character in a Broadway Musical. "What are you doing here, Jonny Flynn?" "Why I'm here to court trouble, and woo a girl, and build the most fantastical contraption the world has ever seen!" -- Dave, Game 7 Blazers versus Timberwolves preview
"It was bad reffing...but not rip apart the fabric of time bad." -- The Arkitect, Game 79 Blazers versus Mavericks Post-Game Thread
by BlazersOrBust on Aug 21, 2010 2:57 PM PDT up reply actions
A follow-up link you'll like
http://sportsillustrated.cnn.com/2010/writers/jeff_benedict/08/18/krod.stephenson/index.html
"One of the bright spots of the young season has been rookie point guard Jonny Flynn, whose name sounds like he should be the lead character in a Broadway Musical. "What are you doing here, Jonny Flynn?" "Why I'm here to court trouble, and woo a girl, and build the most fantastical contraption the world has ever seen!" -- Dave, Game 7 Blazers versus Timberwolves preview
"It was bad reffing...but not rip apart the fabric of time bad." -- The Arkitect, Game 79 Blazers versus Mavericks Post-Game Thread
by BlazersOrBust on Aug 20, 2010 11:37 AM PDT up reply actions
Presumption of innocence UNDER THE LAW is essential.
It’s a legal presumption. It’s setting forth the burden of proof for a criminal conviction. That shouldn’t be taken to mean that outside of a courtroom, we can’t presume him guilty, particularly in this case where there were multiple witnesses.
I understand the difference, which is an important one as you've articulated it.
I think that being judged and found guilty in the court of public opinion before the court of law has its say can have deleterious effects, both on the actual process and on the life of the accused.
"One of the bright spots of the young season has been rookie point guard Jonny Flynn, whose name sounds like he should be the lead character in a Broadway Musical. "What are you doing here, Jonny Flynn?" "Why I'm here to court trouble, and woo a girl, and build the most fantastical contraption the world has ever seen!" -- Dave, Game 7 Blazers versus Timberwolves preview
"It was bad reffing...but not rip apart the fabric of time bad." -- The Arkitect, Game 79 Blazers versus Mavericks Post-Game Thread
by BlazersOrBust on Aug 21, 2010 2:59 PM PDT up reply actions
This seems more like a social issue than a basketball issue
That’s not to say that what he most likely did was bad, but this seems like the wrong place to discuss it. The only discussion that can come from this is how we as society look the other way on Domestic Violence, and especially with athletes(but this really applies to anyone who is viewed as someone who can bring value to you. Switch out stephenson for chris brown and this is almost the same post).
My main point is that this is a loaded topic.
Sophia, thank you very much! Please continue to speak your truths and speak truth to power.
The places where the issues we’re passionate about collide might feel like they really suck. But ultimately it’s these murky places that teach us and make us human. Usually what deals with these places best is not the brain but the heart.
-jayfisher
Hmmmm . . .
I thought it was a well written post about a very important subject. Got my rec. Completely agree on your view point and will go to bat any day of the week for the women in my life (and women’s rights in general). HOWEVER . . . . . I think this bit of drama was a tad over the top:
Because kicking her down the stairs wasn’t enough . He had to make a point, by shoving her head violently into the wall and screaming at her. The uncontrolled rage, the complete disregard for her life, and endangerment of her person , his person, as well as any potential bystanders , shows a guy who has complete disregard for pretty much any and everything. From the “allegations” , all that mattered to him at that moment, was to demolish physically ,mentally and emotionally, the woman who is the mother of his kid.
I’ll give you your props for speakin your mind, but wow. That reads like some nasty yellow journalism, and I’m not sure it helps get your point across. I hate to play the devils advocate on such an important cause (and one that is so very close to my heart), but I can’t help but think that you should tone it down a tad. You make it sound as if he threw hand grenades at her and her friends.
Oh, and your love for the Blazers should never have anything to do with your passion for stopping violence against women. I’m sure everyone in the Blazers organization shares your same feelings. If they didn’t there is a mob of thousands in this city who would make sure they hear about it and got the hell out of P-Town.
Keep truckin
"I don't feel like I'm going to be happy or complete until I'm an All-Star. My favorite example is that it took Chauncey six, seven years. And Chauncey's been a mentor for me, and I've learned a lot from him in these last couple years. So, people can say what they want, but I'll get the last laugh. " - Bayless
but I can’t help but think that you should tone it down a tad. You make it sound as if he threw hand grenades at her and her friends.
Have you ever been beat up by a man twice your size?
I most certainly am not over the top in my opinion.
S
The Princess of Blazersedge
Twitter.com/sophiabiabia Follow Me!!!
" It just takes an iron fist to keep the riff raff under control and her princess hand is mad strong" - Idoltime
by BlazerFan1 on Aug 20, 2010 9:04 AM PDT up reply actions 5 recs
I think DV should be demonized.
In Bayless I trust.
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by staylost on Aug 20, 2010 9:47 AM PDT up reply actions 2 recs
"yellow journalism" is a great way to put it
The OP reeks of bias, and while the theme is something I fully support and agree with, the presentation is annoying to read. I also don’t understand what place a crusade like this has on a sports blog. Yes the story involves a sports figure, but it seems like a bit of a stretch. The introductory paragraphs create loose connections in an attempt to justify the discussion of topics completely unrelated to the Portland Trailblazers. In the future post this on your own blog please.
Things happen for a reason they say, but I say there's a reason things happen.
While I agree that there's little to no objectivity and a fair amount of bias in the post itself, Sophia ...
nevertheless has got every right to broach the topic here. It’s related to the NBA — even if only loosely — and, since Blazersedge is a blog that relies on user created content, her editoralizing a subject matter in this manner is fair game.
Yep
It’s DEFINITELY August…why is this on Blazersedge? Don’t you have you own blog page?
by Moobs on Aug 20, 2010 8:16 AM PDT via mobile reply actions 2 recs
You'd rather read another Chris Paul trade proposal? Obviously people like it, look at the number of recs it has. If you don't like it you don't have to read it, but it is relevant to basketball.
"What people need to know is that those pictures were taken a year and a half ago, and I've grown since then." - Greg Oden
by dario argento on Aug 20, 2010 8:42 AM PDT up reply actions
No
But I didn’t waste my time reading this either…we get it, domestic violence is bad. Thanks, nobody had forgotten, look at the number of recs it has!
I look forward to the personal reflections on Actress Jennifer Freeman’s alleged assault on Earl Watson.
by Moobs on Aug 20, 2010 9:49 AM PDT via mobile up reply actions
An incident that was sparked by Watson trying to take Freeman's phone away from her.
An action that is grounds for calling the police for abuse. I know because I’ve seen cases in Oregon.
You are totally right, looking at your WIFE’S cell phone is a totally justifiable reason to get bitten, slapped, and attacked with an iron…
by Moobs on Aug 20, 2010 10:04 AM PDT via mobile up reply actions
Does capitalizing the word WIFE mean something?
Also, he’s supposedly trying to work things out with her. If we are going to play equality around here, can we blame him for her actions for going back to her and trying to work his marriage out?
There’s nothing abusive about looking at your spouse’s cell phone, sorry. It might be a little (emphasis on little) inappropriate, but to say it’s abusive is disrespectful to victims of abuse…oh and good they’re working it out…that means domestic violence is okay! Eating your partners last french fry is not grounds for assault.
by Moobs on Aug 20, 2010 10:53 AM PDT via mobile up reply actions
Eating your partner’s last french fry is nothing like stealing your estranged wife’s phone to see who she is calling. Ask her who she called, don’t just jerk the phone away from her.
If you have any self control left, that is . . .
GOP in HD
by 22baylor on Aug 20, 2010 2:27 PM PDT up reply actions 2 recs
Yeah, I wouldn't call it abuse.
It, however, is definitely a problematic issue for him, as was her violent overreaction.
In all honesty, though, they’re likely best off getting divorced in light of this. Of course, a lot of couples across the world would be better off single.
Um, idoltime, you shouldn't try to justify Jennifer Freeman's despicable, deplorable actions.
You can’t win that argument in any way, shape, or form.
Only speaking the truth.
Violence is never acceptable. Neither is attempting to dominate your domestic partner’s life. I merely find it funny that the one example to be brought up of a famous woman beating a famous man stems from the man’s abusive behavior. That’s all.
It's true that trying to control someone else -- regardless of whether it's a spouse -- ...
is an inappropriate lifestyle. Then again, I’m a guy who enjoys being single due to a lack of ever getting emotionally attached to anyone; thus, it’s really hard for me to relate to an individual who’s got a domineering mindset. So yeah, Earl Watson’s situation in life is far away from my wheelhouse.
i think youre single becuase you are sociopath
S
The Princess of Blazersedge
Twitter.com/sophiabiabia Follow Me!!!
" It just takes an iron fist to keep the riff raff under control and her princess hand is mad strong" - Idoltime
by BlazerFan1 on Aug 21, 2010 2:44 PM PDT up reply actions 4 recs
I like the Russian grammar Sophia.
“In Soviet Russia, sociopath drives you!”
"What people need to know is that those pictures were taken a year and a half ago, and I've grown since then." - Greg Oden
by dario argento on Aug 21, 2010 3:48 PM PDT up reply actions
Nice play off of idol's old comment that was laughably off base — as well as ...
ironic in light of certain circumstances — unless, of course, you’re being serious. Now, if you’re being serious here, then I shake my head in chagrin. That’s all I can do, though.
At any rate, I feel that being single lends itself to a way more easy going, laid back lifestyle. Luckily for me, I don’t need to justify my existance by having some clingy significant other in my life; rather, I get by on self-fulfillment.
Everyone is different in that way, however, and that’s what makes the human race a wondrous species. It doesn’t mean you, I, or anyone else must like one another — for we certainly don’t get along in any way, shape, or form here — nevertheless, tolerance is key to harmony.
by AK1984 on Aug 21, 2010 8:24 PM PDT up reply actions 2 recs
Tiger Woods 9 iron altered grill says hello
as does Liza Minelli’s ex
James, Wade, and Bosh = the Nazgul. Once they were great kings, until their greed got the best of them in their lust for the ring.
by blazeraddict on Aug 21, 2010 9:30 PM PDT up reply actions
I would rather read a CP trade proposal
Preferably one involving Rudy Fernandez and his disgruntled self.
Things happen for a reason they say, but I say there's a reason things happen.
BF1 is hot and you aren't so eat it.
;)
In Bayless I trust.
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My mom says I’m a catch,
I’m popular…
by Moobs on Aug 20, 2010 9:52 AM PDT via mobile up reply actions
i think there is another rudy post on the sidebar
if that is more to your liking
Michael Jordan is the Nicolas Batum of America
"I was like, 'Wow, we get a run.'-Felix Hernandez
by thomasikehara on Aug 20, 2010 2:32 PM PDT up reply actions
Sophia,
You are a very admirable young woman. I love your strength and passion and the fact that you will stick to your principles against all comers. I love that you’re willing to tackle tough subjects and shine an unrelenting light on them. From your comments here at the Bedge I’ve gathered that you’ve had a pretty tough time of it in your short life but you persevere where many women would’ve given in and gone with the status quo. Instead, you grab life with both hands and wring every opportunity out of it. Yup, you are a very admirable young woman.
Love,
Annie
#52
by annthefan on Aug 20, 2010 1:18 PM PDT reply actions 14 recs
+1
It takes courage to be a lightning rod for unpleasant topics. I’m too selfish to worry about it very often, but I’m glad there are people are willing to sacrifice their ego and time to speak out on important subjects.
Tell me what you don't like about yourself
I'm not sure if "sacrifice their ego" applies here, but it's definitely true that people should "speak ...
out on important subjects" — no matter if its about “unpleasant topics” — for that leads to dialouge and discourse. In addition, we must remember that our own viewpoints on certain subject matters — which even include contentious hot-button issues — aren’t shared in full by everyone else. That, however, is a beautiful thing. Hell, if we all were repressively forced to think the same way like a collection of mindless drones, then the world would lose all of its lovely shades of grey and, alas, fade to black.
Finally saw this
Great article, Sophia.
I have more thoughts on the matter, most of them dealing with the media’s handling of these sort of cases (I don’t mind someone being innocent till proven guilty, at all, but I don’t like the media sweeping things under the rug OR focusing so much on the buildup and not the aftermath), but I just wanted to say this is a very thought provoking article.
From what I’ve read, it doesn’t even sound like anyone is saying he’s even INNOCENT— like, no one seems to say he didn’t do it. In these cases I don’t mind assuming the jerk beat up his girlfriend and thinks he can get away with it— even if it isn’t 100% fair or consistent with innocent-till-proven-guilty.
M—
#52
I criticize the public pillory that some media and police make suspects go through before being convicted by a judge and jury, putting out photos and names on websites (and even on Facebook asking people to tag the person) and throwing in an “allegedly” to be safe. And for good measure, put a photo of the victim on there too. Really not fond of this practice, and I would be even less if it ever happened to me.
But in this case as Tom Lewis (their Dave) on Indycornrows puts it, it seems a pretty clear-cut case. I would expect the Pacers to cut ties with Stephenson upon conviction, and try what they can to support the victim (publicly or behind the scenes).
There were witnesses and the nasty details would be hard to make up. Unless a surveillance video surfaces showing a banana peel at the top of the stairs, any story Stephenson’s side tells won’t explain away Williams tumbling down the stairs.
"Listening to the media only increases your odds of failing at whatever you are doing" - Mark Cuban
by Norsktroll on Aug 20, 2010 7:24 PM PDT up reply actions 1 recs
It'll be interesting to see if the Indiana Pacers can trade Lance Stephenson, for I could see a team ...
such as the New York Knicks seeking his services. That, of course, would be a more prudent business decision than eating the financial cost by outright releasing Stephenson.
No, Lance Stephenson shouldn't get "permanently banned fromt he NBA." Let's not overreact, all right.
Also, while I do presume that you’re being figurative when flippantly using the word “castrated,” that’s still an over-the-top thought that makes my stomach queasy. Heck, it wouldn’t hurt to tone down the vitriol a tad bit and avoid espousing obscene rhetoric. Then again, you’ve got every right to say what you want to say about this topic. That’s the wonderful thing about have a discussion, even if it gets somewhat heated.
You push a female down some stairs
Nay, lay a hand with an ill-intention? You should destroyed. Let alone smash her head on a step? Yeah. Castrate the stupid #@#^&#$%
Moment of clarity
by 420Phenom on Aug 22, 2010 10:59 PM PDT up reply actions 1 recs
The fact that you're advocating violence (i.e., castration) to combat violence is hypocritical to me.
It’s also unfortunate that your mind goes to such a dark place, but you’ve got every right as a human being to think such vile, sickening thoughts.
I counter that your argument makes you a hypocrite.
http://www.blazersedge.com/2009/12/3/1183607/go-ducks#26540242
The fact that you’re advocating violence (i.e., death penalty) to combat violence is hypocritical to me.
Fair is fair?
Other reasons why castration isn’t merely violence but “treatment”.
by idoltime on Aug 23, 2010 9:30 AM PDT up reply actions 1 recs
I advocate an eye for an eye, but nothing more than that.
“I will argue if someone intentionally murders … another individual in cold blood without any self-defense factoring into the equation — and it can be proven without a shadow of doubt — then the only fair punishment is the death penalty. That’s the only circumstance in which I support capital punishment, though.”
What 420Phenom is advocating is excessive punishment. There’s a difference, too, and it’s unfortunate that you — of all people on top of that — don’t see it.
I see several differences.
Mostly, I see that you are advocating an eye for an eye which is, directly, advocating violence to counter violence — in that case, using a state-sanctioned murder to counter intentional murder. Very different than using a non-violent (if archaic and cruel) treatment option to combat excessive violent tendencies, which, although they may or may not be effective, is considered by at least some medical professionals to reduce the tendency to commit violent acts.
And I see your point, too. Even trying to use my own justice issues to make me see it clearer. But I’m unfairly prosecuted on laws that something that shouldn’t be illegal. This is also different, but until I can find ways to change laws I am going to find myself stuck accepting whatever punishment is considered fair for a non-crime.
I'm not only a drug addled contrarian.
I occasionally have a thought to share. :) But thanks for the good conversation.
For sure, and it's not like I'm a major proponent of capital punishment.
In extreme cases, though, it’s the best option, as well as would’ve led to a better end for some of the criminals themsevles (e.g., Richard Speck) than what they endured in prison.
Yeh. (this is getting even more OT than the post)
As a rule, I’m against castration and the death penalty, but it is hard not to see that some cases seem to demand it or something just as extreme and nothing compares.
Sometimes I wish that banishment was still a viable option.
For me, I'd seek the death penalty if there's a conviction in this case.
http://seattletimes.nwsource.com/html/localnews/2012712607_girlsdeath25m.html
Again, though, I must clarify it’s only severe first-degree murder cases — and not some high-handed execution for a non-violent crime such as desertion (e.g., Eddie Slovik) or espionage (e.g., Ethel and Julius Rosenberg) — that I advocate it.
Nuke the gay whales!
In Bayless I trust.
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I read this yesterday but didn't comment
After further review I would like to say,very nice piece of righting Sophia and that violent people suck
by southern oregon on Aug 20, 2010 4:44 PM PDT reply actions
One thing I'm glad to see...
is that no one is suggesting trading Rudy for this moe.
by heartless bounder on Aug 20, 2010 10:36 PM PDT reply actions
Great post, great discussion, important and often ignored topic
I only have one thing to add that I didn’t see when I scanned the thread. I don’t think it’s the job of the sports media or the NBA to report anything but the basics on any non sports or non basketball related matter. Players shouldn’t be coddled or protected from the consequences of their actions merely because they are elite athletes, but it’s not the job of the NBA to be out front on these issues.
Can I get an Armon?
Yeah, the media should take a cut-and-dry, objective measure of reporting off-court issues such as this.
There isn’t any sensible, rational reason to editorialize matters like these, for news articles with journalistic integrity are different than over-the-top columns written from a subjective perspective. Even at only 25 years of age, I’m old-school in that regard.
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