FanPost

Transcript of the Secret Penn / KP Vulcan Tape

I’ve just come across some secret Vulcan videotape of the tumultuous meeting that led to the dismissal of Penn and the eventual dismissal of KP…  I haven’t figured out how to upload video yet , so in the mean time I thought I’d transcribe it for you instead…


(Scene: 200 One Center Court)

(Blazer technician) OK Mr Pritchard, video link to Mr Allen is ready

KP: Thanks Robert.

Penn to KP: So Kevin, are you going to tell him about the proposed Nets deal for Rudy?

KP: Nah, it hasn’t been vetted through the process yet…  plus, Paul loves Rudy..

(Scene: Paul Allen’s yacht)

Mr. Allen: For all the damn money I spend, you’d think a simple video conference wouldn’t be so difficult… 

Bert: C’mon kid, is this thing working yet, or not…

Mr. Allen: Sorry Bert, I’m having a bad morning…

Tech: Mr. Allen the video feed to Blazer HQ is operational.

Bert: Thanks kid, now beat it.

<Overhead through video uplink: 

Kevin, the numbers are pretty clear that Rudy is our most tradeable asset, if you look at perceived value minus on-court production…

Bert:  Blazers HQ, is that you?

KP: Ah, yes yes sir, Mr. Allen, nice to talk to you sir.

Mr. Allen: So Kevin, tell me, who was speaking just now?

KP: Ah, what was that sir?

Bert: He asked you who was just talking, when the video was just being set up.

(Silence)

Mr. Allen: Something about Rudy?

KP: Ah yes, sir, that would be, ah, Tom and I were just discussing, a potential trade offer, but it’s a long way from getting serious, sir.  Nothing to bother you with yet, sir..

Mr. Allen: So, Mr. Penn, you think we should trade Rudy?

Tom: Umm..  (ignoring Kevin waving his hands)  Well, sir, if you look at our roster, you can’t trade half of them because they are our core players, and the other half nobody wants…  So it’s really only Rudy that other teams want that isn’t part of our core team..And if they get the #1 pick, they’d offer us a really great point guard for Rudy and…

KP: Tom, that’s enough!  Mr. Allen, excuse…

Mr. Allen:  Excuse US a moment gentlemen, will you please? 

(Bert mutes the video)  Yes Mr. Allen?

Mr. Allen: Fire Tom Penn.  Don’t give any reason.  Just do it.

Bert: Yes sir, Mr. Allen, it’ll be done immediately.

Mr. Allen: And get me some fresh squeezed Florida orange juice, please Bert? 

(V=Bert taps into his phone)   OK, let’s get on with the agenda…   

Bert: Yes sir (unmutes vide feed).  OK, Agenda item 1:

KP: Mr. Allen, I just want to apologize for Tom’s outburst, sir, he’s just trying to do what’s best for the Blazers…

Mr. Allen: So, Kevin, you think trading the owner’s favorite player is what’s best for the owner’s team?

KP: Ah, no sir.  Well, maybe, sir.  It depends who we get back.  That’s why I didn’t bring it to your attention earlier, sir, we’re still working it through our process, evaluating our options, you know…

Mr. Allen: Yes, OK.  Please  excuse me one more minute Kevin, please.

Bert: Muted, sir.

Mr. Allen: Fire Kevin too. 

Bert: Yes sir. 

Mr. Allen: But wait until after the draft, OK Bert?  He does make that a fun night.

Bert: As you wish, Mr. Allen.

Mr. Allen: OK, let’s get on with the agenda…   

Bert: Yes sir (unmutes vide feed).  OK, Agenda item 1:

<Fade to black>

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