Like I have mentioned before, The Eagles played the RG the other night. This got me thinking of a conversation I had with a co-worker of mine regarding the song Hotel California. This song is filled with mysticism and symbolism (and  great dueling guitar riffs at the end) about the decadence of the LA scene . My contention was was that it wouldn't have been as successful without that strong sense of place. Basically I stated that if the song were called Motel South Dakota ....it would have been a dud. As those of you that have come to know me over the years can guess ....the next thing I did was rush off to re-write the lyrics based on that premise. Here it is

Motel South Dakota
(Sung to the tune of Hotel California in the style of The Eagles)

On a north plains highway, heater fan in my hair
Thick smell of french fry grease, rising up through the air
Up ahead in the distance, I saw a shimmering light
My head grew heavy and my sight grew dim
There was a Denny’s on the right
There she stood in the doorway;
I should went to Taco Bell
And I was thinking to myself,
’this could be real bad, I can tell by the smell
Then she picked up a menu and she showed me the way
There were voices down by the counter,
I thought I heard them say…

Across the street is the motel South Dakota
you can see Rushmore’s face
The ear needs replaced
Plenty of room at the motel South Dakota
Any time of year, you can wait till the nausea clears

Her mind is Grand-Slam twisted, the bacon makes you up-chuck
She got a sausage patty, that would work as a hockey puck
How they run for the bathroom, heads covered in sweat.
Some remember where it is, unfortunately some forget

So I called up the waitress
’please bring me my wine’
she said, ’we lost our liquor licence back in 1989
And still those voices are saying "go across the way",
since ya will be spewin’ till the middle of the night
you’re glad to hear them say…

Across the street is the motel South Dakota
you can see Rushmore’s face
The ear needs replaced
You’ll be heavin’ it up at the motel South Dakota
What a nice surprise, Pepto you can buy-s

Porcelin in stalls,
on the floor, linoleum
And she said ’we are all just prisoners here, of our own nauseum’
And in the banquet room,
They gathered for the steak
The try cut it with their rusty knives,
But they might as well used a rake

Last thing I remember, I was
Running for the door
I had to find the passage back
To the place I parked the car
’relax,’ said the night cook,
Even though you’re ‘bout lose all you ate.
You can checkout any time you like,
But you better clean your plate!