FanPost

Textual Junk Drawer 4-24-2010



the other night i had to breakup with a mistress....she was a crazy ginger...stalkerish.  i feared for my life after i came back from breakfast.  she had photoshopped pictures of us in a fake wedding and left all the pictures in frames all around the hotel.  she also got a crib and put a cabbage patch doll in it with the name "baby freckles"

she left a note saying, "you haven't called or text today, i miss you."  it was only 9 am.  the note was written in ginger blood. 

so i checked out of the hotel, text her "i don't want to see you anymore, i want to break up.  forever" and threw away my 2nd phone.

the next thing i know, my friend called me and he's been held ransomed by some big bone bald guy that carries a shaving cream bag demanding my friend give up my name and location.  the guy kept yelling, "i will murder you if if you don't tell me his name...NO ONE breaks up by text"  my friend left after the db went to watch some sports game and had to go to the hospital because his chipotle was too spicy. 

gingers are crazy.  texting FTW! 

 

If you don't text GO BLAZERS to 10 people today before the game, we will lose.

 

peace.  stay cool.  forever.

 

BRP

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