FanPost

Dear David Stern,

Dear David,

    I hope this letter finds that you are well, as it was hard to tell when you made your announcement regarding the NBA's new Collective Bargaining Agreement. You looked just as pale and sunken as the day I first saw you. Once again, though, your ego was as consistent as Kevin Costner's acting.

    Very tough stuff, for you guys to try and pare back those contracts (that the other owners all offered, and you, yourself, signed off on every one) from those greedy athletes. They just all make too much money nowadays. I mean, that was one amazing paper bag of flaming dog doots that you just left on the Player's Association's doorstep. Like, Fred Meyer shopping bag size at least.

    Your own sport's biggest event till the playoffs, the All-Star Game, is just around the corner. Now, instead of being the nice buildup of hype and then a few fun days of basketball, pretty much every batch of questions from the media will have it's share of ones about the proposed CBA. Is Tiger Woods the head of your PR department or something?

    I worry about you, David. I've seen the signs of megalomania before, and it's never pretty. You and Bud Selig over at MLB should talk seriously about that nice house on the waterfront you always wanted, on that island, way, way, way out there. Then you two could walk the beaches and happily make contracts with the crabs and wild boar, then gleefuly re-negotiate them every three to five years, till the end of your days.

 

 

Sncerely,

Haildablazer

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