Dear Alleged Blazers Quote Endquote Fans

by OhOhOden on Nov 18, 2010 1:36 PM PST

Well, well, well, well, well, well, well WELL look at all these long, mournful faces! Where's the funeral? I haven't seen a sorrier lot since I dropped 35 in Oklahoma last year.

So. Looks like we have something of an emergency now. A couple of quote unquote franchise players not looking so well. And those poor, young men and their health issues. BRoy's face goes green every time he sees a flight of stairs. I mean, the thought of dragging either one of those legs up, let alone two, all the while trying to ignore the click-click, click-click of the knees. And speaking of knees, how about that Greg Oden? God bless him and his work ethic, rehabing like the good soldier in front of the cameras and playing the piano on ESPN! Could that boy party. The room just lights up when G. O. flashes that millionaire smile!

Ah ha ha ha ha. Too soon? Maybe I should get to the point. Hm. Since this alleged quote unquote blog is so numbers-happy, since to many those tall athletic-looking sorts running up and down the court aren't actually people, but sabremetrics, let me throw some numbers back at you.

63. Not a high number to start out with, but you've seen the commercials. I got that heart thing licked.

76. Now there's a nice, high number. You all don't mind missing six games out of a year, do you? Not bad, not bad at all.

81. Very nice. Almost 82. Getting near A. C. Green territory.

78. Not looking very injury-prone in this corner, are we?

And, finally, 12 out of 12 for 2010. A great number since it's for me, number 12. 100% attendance when you need me most.

That's right--me, baby. L.A., the man so tall they named a big city after me. Your one and best hope out of the quote endquote alleged Big Three era.

Just in case you forgot, I was here, man. I saw the promotional material. Yeah, I was part of the Big Three. Squeezed in the back somewhere or off to the side. BRoy, now you gotta love him. He's the quote endquote franchise player. The face of the organization. He gets top spot, forget that he got picked what? 6th? 8th? Seriously. After the first two or three picks it doesn't really matter. And then G.O. scowling with a basketball wedged between his palms like he's gonna pop it. The number one pick, the quote unquote key ingredient to the championship. He can't make it up a flight of stairs either!

How you liking me now, Portland? Did we or did we not leave this airport in a limo? ahahahaha

I see all you supposed fans, you turkeys with names like "BRoyFTW", "BRoyinthe4th", and those sick semipornographic names like "OhOhOden." Straight outta Office Space, I know, I know! But let me tell you all what I would like to see. Understand, I've been reading things every season about what quote unquote basketball experts would like to see from me, bending my game to get more defensive rebounds, more low post points, more weak-side help defense. Here's some of that coming back at you. Maybe a few more "LaMarvelous" and "LA4Ever" screen names. Maybe a little bit of love for your current franchise player.

Because maybe what I see, Blazer fans, is a little bit of Carmelo Anthony in Denver, and we're both seeing something happening in Miami. He's young and I'm young, know what I'm saying? We might be looking for a change of scenery and a couple rings. I'm a Texas boy. I hear San Antonio's a great franchise. I hear Cuban treats his team right. And Daryl Morey, he can put a team together even when the big fella goes down. I mean, I'm willing to play out my contract and give it 110% in Portland, of course. Oh, absolutely.

But, maybe, you know, maybe I might see a little of the love you showed to BRoy, before you all found out about his knees? Maybe ten thousand of you congregate at Pioneer Place while I make my face all sheepish and pretend to bow toward you. Maybe we can make up a little bit for me being number two or number three of the quote unquote Big Three. Because....well, just look outside. It's raining, Portland. But it's sunny and warm in Texas.

LMAO

XOXOXO

L.A.

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By the way

I was looking up Aldridge’s high scoring games for the opening paragraph. By my quick check, every time he scored above 25 in the past two years was a loss except for that OKC game in ’09. Franchise performances from L.A. do not seem to turn out wins so far.

Honor Alaa Abdelnaby.
First in the NBA. At least alphabetically

by OhOhOden on Nov 18, 2010 1:39 PM PST reply actions

You've discovered

what it takes to get wins (defense) …but remember looking at individual stat columns tell you little and offense is still just a fraction of the game. someday the intangibles will get their due ( but not likely in here)
but I appreciate the appreciation for LMA. He was the third option right? Now he is the first.

The guy has improved his game each season. He has flaws, but offers his services every game. When you look at the dim situation with Oden and Roy, then your 60 watt bulb shines pretty brightly.

"You play good defense and let your offense generate from that. You will find that success of your offense, is proportional to the extent of your defensive diligence." Jack Ramsey philosophy (it works)

by WyEast on Nov 21, 2010 10:19 AM PST up reply actions

Nice work

took me a while to realize who it was talking about

'Sean Marks, Patrick Mills, and Luke Babbitt made like the three wise men, coming late to the party having followed the stars and bringing gifts of an assist, a turnover, and a personal foul.'

by collectiveshane on Nov 18, 2010 2:08 PM PST reply actions

Sounds like a plan

Except I hate watching people choke down the stretch. Thats sort of his specialty.

[insert witty nomenclature and/or out of context quote from someone that makes more money than I]

by HallelujahHoeDown on Nov 18, 2010 3:01 PM PST reply actions

LMA turning into Bosh now...

more stats / less wins? It will be interesting to see how this all pans out. I love this team and will always watch. Even if it’s in a half empty Rose Garden.

#20
#52

by broden on Nov 18, 2010 3:39 PM PST reply actions

Hey OhOhOden, the way you wrote this confused the heck out of me.

I could not tell if it was pro-LMA or LaMpoon LMA (see what I did there).

I am going to assume that you are telling us we should now regard LMA as the new franchise player since the rest have crapped out. If so, OK I am good with that but I generally don’t think putting that kind of label on a player is a good idea because once they get wind of it they may get too big an ego. Now I am not saying that LMA will get like that especially with the huge number of Blazers fans that think it is there duty to cut him down as hard as possible at every possible opportunity.

BTW: I got really uncomfortable with all that “quote unquote fan” stuff. You don’t want to BE doing that on this fine blog. Impugning someone’s fanship is not cool.

Thanks for the shout out!!!!!

They say the Chinese character for "crisis" is the exact same as that for "opportunity". This means the Doberman of Destiny has just visited the Blazers' house and left a big, fat, stinkin' pile of opportunity on their living room rug. - Dave

by LaMarvelous on Nov 18, 2010 4:07 PM PST reply actions

Thanks for taking the time to comment

I had neither the intention to be pro-LMA nor LaMpoon LMA, as you so delicately put it. Instead, I imagined how LaMarcus has been feeling all these years being the second and (often) third wheel during this whole “Big 3” promotion. Most among us (including myself) regarded Roy as the franchise player and Oden as the phenom pivot who would make the difference in becoming a champion—and then LaMarcus was a steady 18 and 9, fine defensively, a good third option. A great player, but compared to Roy and Oden something of a Milquetoast, and certainly the first of those three to get traded.

I’ve read Aldridge to be the sensitive type—not seething at the attention given to the other two, but resentful still. The middle child. And when the two guys you’ve been ignoring him for go down, presumably forever, it’s payback time, baby.

Just to make clear, though: I seriously doubt he would ever say this. Far from it: I think he prefers the lower profile, both on and off the court. All the same, however, I’m thinking he chafed to some degree at being passed by during his tenure.

I’ll also stand by a fictional LaMarcus lambasting “fans” who probably need to eat a bite or two of crow (myself included).

Honor Alaa Abdelnaby.
First in the NBA. At least alphabetically

by OhOhOden on Nov 19, 2010 2:50 AM PST up reply actions

I thank you for

switching the focus to manual. I also think it is Ok to remind people that we are just another team without all the pieces. The “fanish” perception of Roy being a franchise player is typical and understandable. But once you start putting an individual face to your organization, you immediately lose sight of reality.

In other words, Together, Roy, Oden and LMA, along with a reasonable supporting cast are the franchise. Alone, none of these guys are franchise players. Fans tend to overvalue their team or players. It’s OK to do that (for fans) But not OK to do that when you are in the business of putting a genuine product on the floor. It’s a team game, and losing sight of that, can often divert fans into unfairly emphasizing individual expectations.
It’s funny that when I watched Roy play in college, he struck me as a player that knew his limitations and never tried to do more than he was cable of. In Portland I think they ‘elevated" him beyond what was reasonably possible.(for him) it was inevitable he would not be able to literally drain himself night after night. In other words, his natural abilities had limitations and he had to work extra hard, often beyond a sustainable capability . Also the conditions for his best game had to be staged ahead of time. After that he struggles, and his effectiveness falls off rather sharply…hence he becomes a victim of the very system that has endeared him to fans in the first place.
Myself, I never got endeared so much that I closed both eyes. I just kept tagging the system with warning flags like an obsessed columnist. It was just not adding up to me for both practical and selfish reasons.( entertainment/energy value).. a spin off from the loosely- termed and over exuberant “franchise theory” and the fact that I didn’t like the system overall.

by WyEast on Nov 21, 2010 12:18 PM PST up reply actions