Understanding Rudy
by jscot on Oct 25, 2010 7:48 AM PDT
Email
PrintI wanted to post this before the season starts, since Rudy is still here.
I haven't been around Blazersedge much recently. The reason may surprise some people. I've avoided the Bedge because the Rudy Fernandez situation brought back personal and painful memories. I thought long and hard about this post, and I worked on it for weeks. I decided that if Rudy was on the team once the season started, I would post it. As usual with me, it's very long -- sorry about that.
You see, I think I understand Rudy, and to explain why, I'm going to give some personal history.
I was born in Glasgow, Scotland. When I was seven years old, my father got a new job in, of all places, Portland, Oregon.
America! We're moving to America! Everyone was jealous. The older kids in our neighbourhood told me we would have movie stars for our neighbours, and the sun would shine every day. Everyone in America is rich!
When we arrived in Portland, it was horrible. It rained a lot, but I was used to rain. The real problem was the other kids. They couldn't understand much of what I said, and they made fun of the way I talked. I couldn't always understand them, either, but I knew they were making fun of me. By the time school started, I hated all the kids on our street. When I went to school, I hated that, too. I think my teacher tried to help me, but even she had a hard time understanding me.
The only good part of my life was sports. My father took me to Oregon Ducks games in both basketball and football, and then when the Trailblazers came into existence, I really found my love. Every game, we watched or listened on the radio. My parents knew I was lonely and unhappy, and they even let me stay up past bed time for Blazer games. I shot hoops in our back yard for hours upon hours, perfecting my moves, pretending I was up against Walt Frazier. I didn't want to play with other kids, and they didn't want to play with me. But I owned Walt so many times, so I was getting by, I guess.
We moved just before I finished grade school, and then it was Floyd Light Middle School. By now, my accent wasn't so strong, but it was still there, and kids still made fun of me. I probably made it worse, but I was kind of mad at the world, and so instead of being friendly, I was rude right back to those who were rude to me.
Something changed after we moved, though, because one of our new neighbours invited my parents to church, and we went. I didn't make any friends there, really, but at least the other kids were friendly enough.
High school was a little better, because David Douglas was a huge school, and mostly I just kept to myself and never said much at all to anyone. I didn't have any friends, but at least I avoided trouble. My father's job was letting him get more time off, so we did a lot of hiking and stuff. I grew to love the mountains of Oregon and SW Washington, but I missed Scotland so much - it was kind of the Promised Land for me. I was going back someday, and I'd have friends again. Someday.
The year after I finished high school, my dad got a new job, that involved training people in different places. He told me that we were going to move back to Scotland! But first, he was going to do this job for a couple of years, and we would see a lot more of America. It turned out that it meant that we would be spending about a month in lots of places, all over America. But to start, it would mean six months in Edwardsville, Illinois where he was involved in some kind of seminar at Southern Illinois University. And so, we moved to Illinois. No more Columbia River Gorge, or Cascade Mountains, or Willamette River. And there wasn't even a good way to get news on the Blazers. But at least we were on our way back home to Scotland, where I would be happy again.
Something strange happened to me in Edwardsville. The youth group in our church had a ministry every Saturday in East St. Louis, and they asked me to go along. I didn't think it was any big deal. It would be better than being bored alone at home, and I said I'd go - and the van drove me into a war zone. I had never seen anything like it. I had never been so afraid. And the next Saturday morning, when I got up, I was so scared I threw up three times - but I went again. It took me three months before I could eat breakfast on a Saturday without throwing up.
The little kids in ESL loved us, and they'd always gather around to sing songs, play games, and hear a Bible story - but their big brothers and cousins would hang around, too, and make fun of us, and sometimes even threaten us, until some of the women would come out and chase them away. But I made a friend there, my first real friend in America. When I first met LeRand I thought he was going to beat me up. It's a long story, but we became best friends. The poor black kid from East St. Louis and the unhappy middle-class white Scottish kid. He had more going for him than I did, as it turned out.
East St. Louis is the most tragic place I've ever seen in my life. But I learned there are some wonderful people there, and I get defensive when people bash on people who live there (as happens sometimes when Darius gets mentioned on Bedge). Those kids cried when I told them I was moving away and wouldn't be coming back. LeRand doesn't live there anymore, but last time I was in America, he and I went back to visit some of those mothers who would come out and stop him from harassing our group. Some of them are still there. And I wanted my kids to see East St. Louis.
When we left Illinois, we spent 18 months travelling around America. I hated L.A., liked Phoenix, hated New York, liked Boston, and liked the South. I wrote to LeRand every week (he told me later he learned to read at the age of 21 just so he could read my letters himself). And when I finally left America after almost fifteen years, I really only had one friend there. But it didn't matter! I was going home!
Disaster. Total and complete disaster. No one played basketball, and I didn't know anything about the football (soccer) players everyone was talking about. I didn't understand the slang, and my accent was Americanized, and everything was all wrong. No one even believed I was Scottish.
I started university, and couldn't make any friends there, either. And I went down to the pub, and some guys who didn't like my accent beat me up. That happened twice. And after about a year, I was ready to pack it all in and move somewhere, anywhere.
And then, my father took me camping in the Highlands, and got me away from everything, and let me have it. "You better learn now, before it is too late, that home is where you make it." "It doesn't do any good to complain about not having friends if you haven't gone to where friendly people are and started trying to actually be a friend." "You be a friend first, and you'll have friends. Find other people who are being friends, and join them in it."
And then he asked the question that turned my world upside down. "What friends did you have in America, and where were you happiest?" He knew the answer, and he knew I knew, and I knew that he knew I knew, and I couldn't pretend. It was in East St. Louis. East St. Louis! And he told me that you will have friends, and be happy, and be at home, when you start thinking about doing things for other people, and that you will make home be where ever you are when you do that.
I sulked about it (no other word for it) for about a week. And then I got plugged into actually doing things for other people. Suddenly I had friends, because there were other people who were doing the same thing, and were glad to have me join them. I met my wife. I got really serious about my Christianity. I quit moping and started doing.
I know lonely. Oh, how I know lonely. That much, I understand about Rudy. I know what it is like to be in a strange country where everything is different. I've done it twice. And to go a little further, I know fear. Maybe he doesn't, but I do - fear of rejection, fear of the unfamiliar. I find it hard to trust people at times. I made sure our kids were Scottish through and through (though they follow the Blazers and two of them post on Bedge sometimes). Even though I've tried to teach them to give of themselves, I'm afraid of them having to go through what I went through.
I am still a little paranoid at times. A friend had told me about an American from Portland who lives in Scotland now. When I signed up for Bedge, I "stole" his identity, signing my emails to Dave and to Bedgers with his name, and saying things my friend told me about him in my posts as if I were him. I didn't want people to remember me, the real me, and say, "Oh, were you that funny kid I went to school with?"
I'm ashamed of it now. I actually signed an email with my real name a few months ago, for the first time. Consider this post part of burying my stupid fears. I was terrified of putting the schools I attended in this post, afraid that someone from Floyd Light or David Douglas would remember me, and laugh at me again -- as if it would matter if they did. How stupid. But I was still afraid.
No, my story isn't the same as Rudy's. But I know what it is like to discover you aren't home and that where you are is nothing like home, to be lonely, to have a dream and have it fail, to not have any real friends. Sometimes, those memories still hurt, even though I have a lot of friends now.
Nobody wants my advice, but I'm going to give it anyway, before the season starts, and I'll probably never say anything about anything in this post ever again. I won't be replying to comments in this thread, though I'll read them. I know most of what my friends here on Bedge will say, so thanks in advance. Here's my advice:
To Rudy's supporters: give him room. Either he'll work it through or he won't.
To Rudy's critics: even if you don't know what he's going through, I can guess a lot of it. And it isn't personal, against you, your team, or your city. It's just something he's going to have to work through on his own. So probably the best thing you can do is to just leave it. Bashing him won't do any good, it won't change anything, but it might do harm. The only thing it does is make you feel a little bit important. If you are the kind of person that feels important by bashing someone who is going through a hard time, then keep on, I guess. Otherwise, just give it a rest. Everything has already been said anyway.
To Rudy: Find someplace where people will accept you for who you are, rather than what you are. That's not the Rose Garden. There, they accept you for what you are, a basketball player who can entertain them. They'll give applause, etc, but they want something back. For me, I found acceptance in church, even though I was lonely and different. You might try that -- church will be different in America from what it is in Spain.
Find a way to do something for someone that they will cry when you leave. You will never forget it. Go to that high school that almost lost its football program, and ask the basketball coach if you can help out once in a while. Do something with Hispanic kids in the area. Plug in, man, and do something you'll always remember. You'll never regret it. It will only take an hour or two a week, and when you leave Portland, you might cry, too.
You can make home be where ever you are. It was a hard lesson for me, but I've learned it. It's up to you, really. If you need to be someplace particular to be at home, you might find when you get back there that it isn't home anymore. But if you make home be where you are, you will always be home.
Good luck, Rudy.
Cheers,
Joseph
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wow
Thanks for sharing all that. What a great story. That’s a lot of personal stuff you are letting us in on, and I appreciate it. What happened to your friend LeRand?
I don’t really care about whats happening with Rudy off the court, not in a callous way, just that it’s his business, not mine. I wish him the best. I just want him to play well, and he’s been great so far. I like his game a lot.
Nice to have you back....
…..and nice to be back myself. This is my first comment after an extended vacation at the request of the management.
Great post. As always, I find that the most meaningful posts come not when we all try to be professional basketball analysts, but when we talk and share as humans. For many of us, basketball was an emotional refuge in times of struggle. We bring lessons from life to the game, and lessons from the game to our lives….
Thanks for sharing, jscot.
by upper left corner on Oct 25, 2010 8:25 AM PDT reply actions 2 recs
ULC, did you hear that the the Blazers traded Jerryd to the Hornets?
8^)
Wondered why we hadn’t heard from you about that. I’m glad you’re back, too.
I just read your profile.
Sounds pretty crappy. Three cheers for transparency. I won’t say anything specific for obvious reasons.
Disclaimer: everything I know about basketball I learned on Blazersedge.
ULC!
Good to see you back too. We’ve missed you as well. Maybe even more than jscot…. ;-)
When the world knows Nico Batum as "The Inevitable", I'll be very happy with where he is as a player.
Thanks!
I enjoyed our discussions…
I do have to warn you, you had best not mess with the future Ruler of the World. ;-)
by upper left corner on Oct 26, 2010 8:39 AM PDT up reply actions
I've been reading Blazersedge for long enough to know that
That’s why I did it.
When the world knows Nico Batum as "The Inevitable", I'll be very happy with where he is as a player.
That is right.
Rudy is still here.
Proud to be a Republican.
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><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><>
Not to embarrass you, Joseph, but I love you.
Sometimes a persons inner worth and goodness shines through their words and you feel you know them whether you’ve met them or not. I imagine you as person who anyone would be proud and lucky to call a friend. I’ve missed you. Stay well.
Love,
Annie
#52
by annthefan on Oct 25, 2010 9:09 AM PDT reply actions 2 recs
As some one who originally wanted the Blazers to let him go home to his family,
I’m glad he’s still here. And I hope he continues to grow. And I’m going to cheer for him no matter where he ultimately ends up.
"[S]ince men enjoyed very great leisure, they used it to pursue many kinds of commodities unknown to their fathers, and that was that first yoke they placed upon themselves without thinking about it, and the first source of evils the prepared for their descendants. For, besides continuing thus to soften body and mind, as these commodities had lost almost all their pleasantness through habit, and as they had at the same time degenerated into true needs, being deprived of them became much more cruel than possessing them was sweet; and people were unhappy to lose them without being happy to have them." -Jean-Jacques Rousseau
tl;dr
…
just kidding yo! welcome back and thanks for sharing
I’d meet BRP at the airport, not flee!! - fanfaraway
Next time I'm in Scotland, I'd love to hunt you down and buy you a beer.
Insightful and deeply poignant. Thanks for sharing, friend.
"One of the bright spots of the young season has been rookie point guard Jonny Flynn, whose name sounds like he should be the lead character in a Broadway Musical. "What are you doing here, Jonny Flynn?" "Why I'm here to court trouble, and woo a girl, and build the most fantastical contraption the world has ever seen!" -- Dave, Game 7 Blazers versus Timberwolves preview
"It was bad reffing...but not rip apart the fabric of time bad." -- The Arkitect, Game 79 Blazers versus Mavericks Post-Game Thread
Beer?
Scotch!
"My shoulder is OK. And away we go." -- Nic Batum
"wang-dang diddly wubba SPROING wow-wow" -- Dave
by DonkeyShins on Oct 25, 2010 10:04 AM PDT up reply actions
Now I know how this got 16, ummm, 17 RECs in two hours...
Bookmarked.
Well, Mr. Scot, just remember that High School sucks for pretty much everybody at one level or another.
The perspective of your being twice scorned for your accent was interesting and probably says something about human nature at a fundamental level if you think about it.
"A bizarre and extremely rare hybrid Blazer/Laker fan, Timbo has always struggled to contain the Beast Within, like Dr. Jekyll, Bruce Banner, or Ted Kennedy." — Miled Animal
by timbo on Oct 25, 2010 9:33 AM PDT reply actions 1 recs
I´ve been missing you, friend, but the wait has been worth it.
This is one of the best Bedge reads ever, from many points of view, and I agree with ULC, whose personal story was also very touching.
Talking about Rudy, and from the single basketball point of view (I like much much much more your personal approach), some Spanish journalist has compared, half jokingly, Rudy´s situation with El Lute´s one. El Lute was a legendary Spanish outlaw who escaped several times from prison, and was always recaptured. Finally, while in prison, he learned to read, earned a law degree, and became a writer, and he was pardoned and released after 16 years in prison. The idea is that, if Rudy feels like being in prison, he has two options: try to scape, where he has failed as El Lute failed before, or try to get a degree. It seems he is now working on that second option. Hope he reads your post some day. It might compensate him for all the negative comments he could have ever heard of.
Love,
Alfredo.
by amlmart1 on Oct 25, 2010 9:38 AM PDT reply actions 2 recs
Thanks for sharing
There is a meditation on human nature in there, too.
Why is it the default behavior of kids to the aberrant is cruelty? Do children pick up this subtle xenophobia from their parents – “They’re not like us.”? They sound different, or they look different, or they have more money, or less. They’re not from around here.
Most children focus on differences that can be used to ostracize, to diminish the other, to maximize their own sphere of influence at the expense of the new, the unfamiliar. Tolerance and the idea of celebrating our differences is something that most often has to be taught, and all too often isn’t.
I moved around a lot as a kid growing up., A lot, like more than twenty times before I was 18. I saw the same kind of treatment you did, I was “the new kid” so many times that it got to be a sort of wearying routine. Making friends was pointless, as I knew I’d be moving again soon. In my travels, only one or two kids even tried to reach out, it’s just not how people seem to be wired. Doubtless some of it was my own invisible repulsion field keeping people away, like a wary sign reading “DANGER: Do not approach.”
Over time I’ve come to agree with your thesis – home is where you make it.
by baduk on Oct 25, 2010 9:54 AM PDT reply actions 1 recs
Good to see you back
I’m sorry to hear about the difficulties you faced, growing up. Good to hear you’ve moved past that.
Also, just good to see you back at B.E. I’ve missed having you around.
"My shoulder is OK. And away we go." -- Nic Batum
"wang-dang diddly wubba SPROING wow-wow" -- Dave
Awesome read
Until he's not, Rudy's a Blazer.
by collectiveshane on Oct 25, 2010 10:24 AM PDT reply actions
I appreciate getting to know you better, and I agree about Rudy, at least that it's time to lay off
criticizing his wish to go home.
Thanks for sharing
I enjoyed reading that.
by Blaze of Glory on Oct 25, 2010 10:43 AM PDT reply actions
Good post - from a Reynolds rival
Hi,
Great post, loved your predictions of Blazers for a long time. Now I know you were a rival of mine (Reynolds 88 grad)… I lived right next to the DD border off Stark.
Good to see you’re still an active Blazer fan!
by oaklandhillsblazer on Oct 25, 2010 11:13 AM PDT reply actions
Great Post....
….but you are attaching your own experience to Rudys situation. Which is human nature. But honestly we don’t know the full psychology or full story of what is motivating Rudy one way or another.
Basicly all we can really take, is what he has said at Media Day, and that is that he’d rather be released, he does miss friends, family and Spain.
However he also said, and this is more damaging as far as career and Blazer role, he also said he preffered European Style basketball over the N.B.A..
That statement has nothing to do with family, friends or geographical location.
So what I would say, is great post, and you may or may not have a point or several points about Rudy and the difficulty of being away from home.
But if you’re a fan, don’t detach yourself from involvement based on personally attached perceptions.
I don’t bother to “trash” Rudy. But really? As fans of The Blazers, we are limited to judging him as a player. I think it’s kind of funny that since his statements made media day…until now, with his good pre-season play…suddenly a lot of the “I hate Rudy” sentiment seems to have died down…well based on what? He’s playing well.
I’m afraid the harsh truth Rudy cannot escape. Let Rudy struggle for a few games, or make another, I’d rather not be here statement…and with most fans the gloves would be off again.
Being an N.B.A. player and a Blazer…is not a “touchy, feely” enviroment. Blazer fans maybe more than most, want to support their players. But as is also human nature we like to put people on pedestals they may or may not deserve, and then tear them down from those same pedestals.
I don’t fault Rudy for any personal feelings or challenges he might be personally facing. I cannot imagine what the reality of being a Spanish Basketball Player on The Portland Trail Blazers in the N.B.A. within the USA might be like. BUT…I also have to say, I don’t think Rudy is facing challenges any more daunting than yours…or less daunting.
And while I will not personally dislike Rudy, or refuse to support him, I would say I also personally think that his agent and himself handled this entire situation badly. Rudys opinion and personal stance has not been static…we’ve heard everything from he might not even report to Portland…..to he’s happy to be here….so as fans of The Blazers..and even fans of Rudy- how are we suppose to react?
This might be a personal problem more than a professional problem, and it sounds harsh…but as a fan, I’m honestly mostly focused on Rudy Fernandez the professional. I’d like to know his head is in the game, I’d like to think he’s commited to helping this team not just on a game to game basis, but for the season.
As much as it would be “nice”, I can’t care that Rudy misses the flowing meadows of Spain, and the family and friends he might miss as the season progresses. Call me heartless, but I think individuals living moment to moment, day to day face similar and far more daunting challenges than trying to adapt to being an N.B.A. player.
On the “personal challenges” radar…most people would LOVE to have that challenge, missed family and friends aside.
So I hope I don’t sound too harsh. But I’m just being honest. When a player of The Blazers comes to media day, and more or less tells The fanbase, The N.B.A. and the world that his preference would be to not be playing for the team I support, or even in the league that team is part of, …..then maybe I’m being shallow as a fan BUT I can’t be too happy about it, even if I can forgive him or strive to understand his P.O.V..
"Mother Nature started this fight, I think it's about time we ended it!"
by Krang on Oct 25, 2010 11:27 AM PDT reply actions 1 recs
"But honestly we don’t know the full psychology or full story of what is motivating Rudy one way or another."
Given this, I can appreciate giving the guy the benefit of the doubt, on a personal level. On a player level, he has done great in the midst of it all in preseason, so, as a player, I am delilghted to have him on the team till proven otherwise. He certainly has to deliver on the court to get minutes, or even stay on the team.
I can believe Rudy’s agent guided him very poorly through this “alien” NBA land.
Hopefully there are some guys who will reach out to Rudy as the depth of his personal feelings of isolation has been all too exposed. Maybe a fringe benefit of Patty is another “outsider” to bond with.
We all really project ourselves onto others in trying to understand them. After all, ultimately, when it comes to sublective experience, we only have our own personal frame of reference. People actually do live in a personal world filled with people reflecting their own traits, more so than typically appreciated.
"You be realistic," Oden said. "I’m going to stay happy. All right?"
Okay,
can appreciate giving the guy the benefit of the doubt, on a personal level.
None of us knows him on a personal level. If I did, I’d give him the benefit of the doubt I give the people I know.
But I don’t.
So I can only judge and evaluate him based on his words and deeds as I see them. Is that the full story? No. But neither is jscot’s moving personal admission.
I’m also bothered by this:
Bashing him won’t do any good, it won’t change anything, but it might do harm. The only thing it does is make you feel a little bit important. If you are the kind of person that feels important by bashing someone who is going through a hard time, then keep on, I guess. Otherwise, just give it a rest. Everything has already been said anyway.
I think it’s wrong and somewhat uncharitable toward Rudy’s critics. There are reasons to say things that have nothing to do with the results those utterances may or may not bring. One reason is to celebrate excitement or vent frustration—a serviceable summation of much internet message board activity—but another is to be a data point, to describe and articulate a position solely for the sake of having a voice.
If you think the best way to make friends with people is to accuse them of self-importance, perhaps you haven’t learned the big lessons about friendship after all, jscot.
All great heroes need a vulnerability
I hope that Rudy does read your comments. Creating a healthy spiritual life and working to help others is a universal path to self improvement . This fan-base, by and large, is still in love with Rudy. That Rudy is human only strengthens our connection. He has done a good job of never directly rejecting the city or the fans. I would expect some catharsis from Rudy this year as his physicality is returning after his surgery. Here is to a great season to all former and current Blazers!
by Jacksonville on Oct 25, 2010 11:32 AM PDT reply actions 1 recs
Creating a healthy spiritual life and working to help others is a universal path to self improvement .
Boy oh boy does history every show otherwise.
Because being selfish and worldly has such a great track record.
The problem isn’t people trying to be spiritual and help others, it’s that it’s so hard to do, that the people who do try slip out of it so easily. We like to call ourselves hypocrites. Which is funny, because everyone else calls us that too.
"[S]ince men enjoyed very great leisure, they used it to pursue many kinds of commodities unknown to their fathers, and that was that first yoke they placed upon themselves without thinking about it, and the first source of evils the prepared for their descendants. For, besides continuing thus to soften body and mind, as these commodities had lost almost all their pleasantness through habit, and as they had at the same time degenerated into true needs, being deprived of them became much more cruel than possessing them was sweet; and people were unhappy to lose them without being happy to have them." -Jean-Jacques Rousseau
by T Darkstar on Oct 25, 2010 7:18 PM PDT up reply actions 1 recs
Huh?
Nobody claimed selfishness and worldliness are a “universal path” to anything.
Proselytize elsewhere.
It's for that reason I abhor Jehovah's Witnesses and Mormons, but hold the utmost ...
respect for reserved Anabaptists denominations including the Amish, the Hutterites, and the Mennonites.
"Some things you can't unsee, bro." (The League)
Ha-ha, you can have 'em.
I’m just pleased they keep to themselves, practice their faith in private, work hard, and don’t proselytize.
"Some things you can't unsee, bro." (The League)
Wow! Brothers from different countries
I registered with Bedge just to respond to this. After a year of reading Bedge every day, and often being tempted to register and post, I felt compelled to respond.
As an American, who moved to Japan at the same age that you moved to the States, I experienced the same double culture shock. There is research on what they call “third culture kids” that says that, in general, they learn to work to fit in anywhere, but they say they “truly feel at home” nowhere.
In Japan, eventually, I felt like it was “my place” but I stood out and could never be accepted as “one of us.” When I came back to the States for college, it was the opposite. I now looked like everyone else, but I didn’t feel like anyone else. One of the biggest barriers to fitting in? I didn’t know the TV shows! :) It is amazing how much “fit” depends on cultural touchstones, and if you don’t know them, you don’t fit. You don’t know when to laugh. :) I learned to use language from TV shows I have still never seen, just to connect.
I so much appreciate you sharing your story, and relating it to Rudy. It moved me deeply.
I have been thinking a lot about Rudy and culture shock. It is true that he “knew what he was doing” when he took the contract (as much as anyone ever really knows what he/she is doing), and he is bound to the contract as much as any of us would be in a similar situation, but I think it helps us all to think about the players as people as much as players. I think it deepens our joy and connection with them when we do our best to look at their lives from the inside out, e.g. when we think not just about how much we want to see Greg play again, but we think about the experience of a 22 year old fearful that his dreams are crumbling along with his knees, wanting so much to live up to the expectations of millions. When he does play again, our joy is a shared joy.
Thanks so much for showing yourself, brother.
by Hoots on Oct 25, 2010 11:40 AM PDT reply actions 8 recs
yay for third culture kids.
Jeff Pendergraph:
FGM - 3
FGA - 111
Min - 30
Reb - 10
by Tofu Anonymous on Oct 25, 2010 10:06 PM PDT up reply actions
"Third culture kids"
I’m one of those too. There’s more than one country that is home, but nowhere is really Home. Wherever I am, there are dear friends on the other side of rather a large amount of water. I’m very glad to have the internet so I can keep in touch with many of them.
Thanks a lot jscot, I really really appreciate this post, for a lot of reasons. We may never meet on this earth, but if not, we’ll meet at Jesus’ feet. God bless.
When the world knows Nico Batum as "The Inevitable", I'll be very happy with where he is as a player.
No!
Don’t you understand!?!? We are paying Rudy millions of dollars. He’s not allowed to be human anymore!
Wow
Um, barely over a million and since when did we start signing robots? I really hope you were being sarcastic and it’s just not translating over blogposts well.
Um.
Yeah. Sarcasm — directed at people who think that substantial amounts of money can keep humans from feeling very human emotions.
I don’t know what else to say.
by NeverSummer on Oct 26, 2010 10:35 AM PDT up reply actions
Cool!
There needs to be a special font for sarcasm … it’s so hard to tell when it comes to this whole Rudy thing sometimes because there are some posters here that would say that and mean it. It’s that whole mentality that turned me off of professional sports for the longest time … I put up with it to a certain degree now for the Blazers but it still makes me sad.
And I agree, money may make life easier in terms of being financially stable but it won’t listen when you’ve had a bad day or make you feel less lonely.
Great post, JScott
Thank you for sharing your story. Don’t know what else to say but “thank you”. De-dehumanizing this story was necessary and helpful.
Ryan Gomes: forever a Blazer in our hearts.
David Douglas . . .home of the Scots
Funny (or not?) coincidence that your high school’s mascot is the “Scots”. I imagine that could not have helped in regards to people making stupid jokes. Thanks for the Fan Post.
Whattaya mean, they used to be called the "Lumberjacks" until Joseph-buds hit town...
They wanted to dress him silly and use him as the mascot.
"A bizarre and extremely rare hybrid Blazer/Laker fan, Timbo has always struggled to contain the Beast Within, like Dr. Jekyll, Bruce Banner, or Ted Kennedy." — Miled Animal
I'm going to read all of your comments with a Scottish accent from now on...
and enjoy them even more.
Look closer... Gratulatione inveneris verbum secretum.
I like to enjoy them with a glass of Scotch, myself...
"A bizarre and extremely rare hybrid Blazer/Laker fan, Timbo has always struggled to contain the Beast Within, like Dr. Jekyll, Bruce Banner, or Ted Kennedy." — Miled Animal
More than meets the eye.
Much of relevance – but Rudy did not leave Spain as child – but as an adult. He was not ostracized by other children, he was adored by fans. He is now 25 going on 26, and has always had the support of his team-mates and of the Blazer organization. As far as the separation, that certainly rings true. But in that truth, we have the practical observation you reinforced which is that if you want to have friends – you must first be friendly. Because of the way the situation has been handled I don’t know how much of this is lonliness, and how much is a manipulation related to dissatisfaction with his role on the team, and the fact that he can make far more money in Europe than here. And here he is still a very wealthy young man. Now granted, he may miss the familiar foods, and the comradship that comes from sharing a common language and a common culture – but no one has ever beaten him up and no one has ostracized him. They welcomed him. Today, perhaps, there is a coolness. But keep in mind that it is a coolness based on the fact that we have been led to believe that there will be a separation – and the sooner the better. It’s difficult to connect emotionally to someone that is leaving – by their own choice. And that was not the fault of the Blazers or the fans – but of Rudy and his handlers.
by Eben Calder on Oct 25, 2010 1:15 PM PDT reply actions 3 recs
I think it´s true that Rudy is not a normal guy for American standards.
Rudy went there with his mother, who took care of him in Portland for months, leaving her husband behind. Who has followed Rudy´s story knows that he values his family a lot, and remains in contact with them as much as he can. Rudy´s family couldn´t make the same sacrifices when Rudy was a kid. When he was 11 yeras old he left Palma the Mallorca and his family and went to Badalona to play for DKV Joventut.
I think you might have missed Jscot's point.
"Conan, what is best in life?"
"Crush your enemies, see them driven before you, and hear the lamentation of the women."
by dario argento on Oct 25, 2010 2:52 PM PDT up reply actions
Thank you very much
A tremendously rewarding read. It’s the kind of thing that I treasure BEdge for… it is more nuanced than the Quick kleenex story and has the human element that Canzano strives for and never attains.
It represents the best of what the blogosphere can be.
Buck Williams for the hall of fame
by Phizbin on Oct 25, 2010 1:42 PM PDT reply actions 1 recs
Exactly my thoughts too
Thanks for the post, Joseph. The best Fanpost I’ve ever seen on BEdge and I’ve been here a long time.
What? Did someone just yell "Hey Brace Face! Get Us a Center!"
That was totally uncalled for…. - Krang
That post took a lot of guts, jscot.
I’m pretty sure Norsktroll knows who you are now. Watch your back.
I can relate to feeling like a stranger in your new and old homeland. I’ve now been in California longer than I lived in Oregon and don’t really feel like I belong in either place, but it’s okay because at least the weather is great here and there aren’t so many pesky trees and banana slugs.
I can also relate to feeling outcast and getting beaten-up by jerks. I’m a magnet for that, go figure. The last time it almost happened was when I was standing at a urinal during a Raider game.
I’ve missed your posts and comments, but I figured you, like me and some others, needed a Bedgecation and would eventually return when you were ready or at least out of prison. I’m glad you’re back.
Raider fans use urinals?!?!?!?
Learn something every day…
"A bizarre and extremely rare hybrid Blazer/Laker fan, Timbo has always struggled to contain the Beast Within, like Dr. Jekyll, Bruce Banner, or Ted Kennedy." — Miled Animal
You are SADLY mistaken if you think I'm a Raider fan.
I’m not even a 49er fan right now. My 49er fandom doesn’t kick-in until wins exceed losses.
In fact, I’m not even a serious Blazer fan until after the World Series. Go Giants!
I feel nothing but pity for Raider Fan. He’s like the NFL’s version of Clipper Fan: living in the past, no hope for the future, bedeviled by an owner who will not change, sell the team, or die; his team overshadowed by a superior (albeit barely these days) competitor in its market.
Just waiting for Al Davis to die, mostly...
The one thing I love about Raider fans: Every day is Halloween.
"A bizarre and extremely rare hybrid Blazer/Laker fan, Timbo has always struggled to contain the Beast Within, like Dr. Jekyll, Bruce Banner, or Ted Kennedy." — Miled Animal
Great Post
…and the reason to post a comment for a long time.
Pd: I have some friends in Glasgow and I love Scotland & the scottish accent.
Peace & Ball Movement!!!
Great stuff Jscot. Welcome back.
This was a very good story. Thanks for sharing. Rec.
"Conan, what is best in life?"
"Crush your enemies, see them driven before you, and hear the lamentation of the women."
Loved reading your story Jscot
Happy to have you back. Basketball analysis with a heart.
It was hard reading about your negative experiences in Portland and Glasgow. My experience living in those two cities during college (granted for a limited time) could not have been more different. They were far and away the two favorite places to have lived in.
Granted for the life of me i can not make heads or tails of a thick glaswegian accent.
Thanks for sharing . . .
Loneliness can also occur in one’s own community, home, or even family. Your experiences have a more understandable context, but the same vicious circle of “rejection of self – rejection of others” can happen to anyone at anytime.
Sincere congratulations on reaching such a great level of self-understanding, and helping others to do the same.
by kacee on Oct 25, 2010 5:39 PM PDT reply actions 1 recs
A great read...
from one of my all time favorite posters. Thank you.
"The sun is warm, the grass is green." Kesuki Miyagi
ISO and Rudy
Thanks and applause for the post, experiences and insights. I would count it as a strong witness in addition to the other fine qualities.
Yours is an amazing and deeply touching story. You really spoke to me in multiple dimensions.
Since shortly after arriving at Bledge I regarded you as a strikingly mature, insightful and well spoken poster. You never have a bad post. I always learn. Thank you for what you have contributed with what must be considerable effort.
Oddly, all this time I have imagined you to be in Los Angeles – don’t know why, but it wasn’t Portland and had to be somewhere. How wrong I was. Always wondered why your “scot” only had one “t” but dismissed it as not very important. Never would have imagined you following the Blazers from Scotland. It is amazing how far and wide the wave goes when we stir the water in which we stand.
I am aware of the horrors of East Saint Louis. That you emerged from there with a life long fried is huge and so touching when you relate his learning to read in order to stay in touch with you. That says so very much about your importance and goodness.
Your prescription for dealing with loneliness is so right on for you, for Rudy and for me. You motivate me. You have passed on your father’s gift and I am very grateful. Also found your close relationship with your father touching.
In America today we seem inclined quickly to be bitter and harsh critics of things and souls we do not understand. Apparently it’s so often not satisfying to say simply I don’t understand. Rather, many feel the need to become vituperative even when a major element to the others story is “I am hurting.” You address this gracefully and powerfully by risking your personal privacy and omitting shallow or unthinking sentimentality. The way you have done it gives it power and will no doubt affect a good number of Bledgers. Thank you for this.
Enough, wanted to be sure you understand your story has great meaning to me and others. Thank you much for sharing so personally.
All the best to you and please stay with us,
by blazer_believer on Oct 25, 2010 6:05 PM PDT reply actions
Hmmm...
In America today we seem inclined quickly to be bitter and harsh critics of things and souls we do not understand.
You mean like the way jscot, below, criticizes those who criticize Rudy?
Bashing him won’t do any good, it won’t change anything, but it might do harm. The only thing it does is make you feel a little bit important. If you are the kind of person that feels important by bashing someone who is going through a hard time, then keep on, I guess. Otherwise, just give it a rest. Everything has already been said anyway.
Great advice
I enjoyed this post so much. Thanks for the common sense perspective. We fans are sometimes so egocentric in our views of other people; we only consider what they can do for us.
I really like the point about getting involved with a church or people who care. I will add that the best way to plug in with a church is by serving, helping out with a homeless ministry, of food for the hungry, or a kids group. Good stuff, I hope Rudy gets a chance to see the post.
Rob Hildebrand
by Rob Hildebrand on Oct 25, 2010 6:29 PM PDT reply actions 1 recs
Wow...if that isn't catharsis, I don't know what is!
Not what I was expecting, but I appreciate the call for compassion towards Rudy…he may not be the most mature person in the world, but he is just that, a person, first and people go through things sometimes. But I think he’s going to have a great year myself. Hope you do too!
On a more humourous note I couldn't pass this up
This is my home.. I thought this was it this time…
Na home is where you make it.
You like to see homos naked.
Home is where you make it.
You like to see homos naked that’s cool man whatever.
No no no home is where you make it. Home where you make it! Everybody know that!
Oh, guy likes to see homos naked, that don’t help me.
"We will not settle for average, we will strive for greatness." Chip Kelly
Welcome back, I have missed your posts very much.
And ty for the perspective.
Love you Brother.
Bedge or go home.
67 recs! all of them well recced
Until he's not, Rudy's a Blazer.
by collectiveshane on Oct 25, 2010 10:26 PM PDT reply actions
While I appreciate your insight
It still doesn’t change the fact that Rudy is a whiney millionaire, that made his money from doing what kids dream of. It’s still unbelievable to me that he didn’t get booed more vociferously the first preseason game. Seriously, I remember moving to Oregon as a kid and being really pissed and feeling foreign as well. And I am an American. While I’m sure it was tough for you I’m sure an Aston Martin and house in the West Hills would’ve made you feel a “bit” better about those ignoramous’ that made fun of your accent. Besides, Haggis is the new sushi.
there has to be some white out around here. Printer toner should work- Macgruber
Thank you Joseph
This is another layer removed as you let us see some of your very soul. I have long appreciated your sharing and observations here. You project a warmth that lends comfort to any interactions. I now understand a little more and it is helpful.
Some are quick to judge, not knowing that they judge themselves by the same standard they judge. Some are full of expectations for another but not willing to apply the same standard of expectations for themselves. Some seek to understand and your experience does lend understanding of Rudy in this situation. It does not excuse the behavior, only allow us to separate that behavior from the man and see it in a more gentle light.
Perhaps Rudy and Patty are bonding in the same experience. If that played into the team keeping Patty to maximize Rudy it would be evidence of compassion by the team and I applaud. I am willing to let the past be past and move on with Rudy hoping he finds his rhythm and comfort zone both on and off the court.
We missed you Joseph
An incredible post. I love it when there’s something amazing on BE that transcends basketball.
You can measure skill and talent with your eyes, but productivity is shown through statistics.
Good to see you back, this is the best basketball community on the internet for a reason, the people who form it, people like you Joseph. Me, as a spanish homer who started following the trailblazers because of Rudy, found this place filled with some of the best basketball fans and human beings on the internet. Even that kind of people sometimes have a big mouth and small brain when sport passion is on stake, and I have read things in this board I didn’t like regarding the Rudy situation, but I tried to understood how the fans feel sometimes too.
Rudy is a human being, despite winning big money and being privileged at his age, money isn’t everything, I hope he will have a breakthrough this year, not on his game, cause I know he has it, but in his personal life and maturity.
Rudy minutes FTW
by ABSF on Oct 26, 2010 2:34 PM PDT reply actions 2 recs
*sigh*
I haven’t been around for a bit, but anyone who has seen my posts know how much I love both Rudy Fernandez and Juwan Howard (another sigh). Seriously, look at my name, lol. Anyhow, I’ve moved quite a bit myself so I can empathize on his being homesick. I will love that guy till the day I die and I always wish him well, even if it isn’t with us. If he was truly that unhappy then I was all for letting him go somewhere else. Bottom line, he wasn’t helping us at one point, or himself for that matter. It was the source of huge frustration and disappointment in him. However, if he is ready to be the NBA player we have all seen in his better days then I’m accepting him with open arms. If he feels that Spain or another NBA team is better, I’ll support that too, as long as his previous behavior doesn’t show itself again. I just hope if he stays state side it’s in the Eastern Conference, lol.
The best post I've ever read on BE!!!
Thank-you so very much for sharing. Reading your post brought up feelings in me that I haven’t felt in years. Being “homesick” is one of the most intense states of anxiety. I remember leaving for College and saying good-bye to my girlfriend. You brought those feelings of being away from home and separation from a loved one right back to me like it was yesterday. That was over 30+ years ago.
I’m so sorry you had to experience that feeling for so many years.
Truth and Mercy kissed each other in this post - Thanks!
Romance me with that Roy rainbow shot which took flight from way beyond the arc and sailed so high that before it came back down to earth sealing the victory, it kissed the rafters and said "You're mine baby."
I took something from this
entirely unrelated to basketball…going through divorce and the advice that you make home wherever you are has really been hard for me to follow. I’m impressed with your compassion for an individual you’ve never met, sir. Thank for this very inspirational post.
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