Personal Note from Dave
Anyone who's read here for long knows that I don't mix my personal or other business life with the blog much. This is supposed to be a site about the Blazers, not so much about Dave. So unless a story, reflection, or experience will illuminate something about the team I won't usually share it. But I'm making an exception for this one thing.
This Sunday a little band I belong to is putting on a benefit concert. It's not so much that I'm inviting people to come, as it's well outside the Portland area and thus out of reach for most of you, but I think awareness on the subject is a good thing. The organization we're honoring and trying to support is called Alternatives to Violence of the Palouse. In a nutshell it's a non-profit organization that helps victims of domestic violence and educates young folks about healthy relationships and power dynamics so maybe they don't have to suffer.
This cause is pretty dear to my heart because my late mother experienced abuse herself from her first husband. This wasn't my dad...I didn't grow up anywhere near things like that. But I have older half-siblings who did. I've seen the effects abuse can have on people and families. It doesn't surprise me that it happened to my mom because it can happen to anyone. The part that makes me saddest--the thing that even now I have a hard time conceptualizing even though I know it was true--is that back in those days people didn't talk about that sort of thing. There were no shelters to go to. There was nobody you could talk to about it. Nobody really stood up and said out loud that it existed, let alone that it was wrong. So how was a young, in those days dependent (particularly financially), woman supposed to cope or end it or get out? It went on far longer than it might have if someone had been willing to offer hope and support.
That's why Alternatives to Violence of the Palouse is important. Many communities or counties that you live in will have analogous organizations helping out people near you, which are also important. They provide safe shelter, individual and group counseling, legal support, child advocacy, and a host of other critical, and free, services. In an age when we talk about and at least try to understand plenty of once-taboo subjects (divorce, cancer, depression) people experiencing domestic violence often still suffer in silence...except for the voices of these folks. Nobody's children should grow up thinking that abuse is normal...simply the way things are. Nobody should be left without an out or a hand. But somebody has to speak, admit that this happens, and affirm that it's wrong or else it becomes both normal and inescapable.
So anyway, if you will, take a moment to thank folks who work to help victims of domestic violence. Maybe we could be a little more aware that these are real issues that affect lives beyond just those we see in sensationalist, after-the-fact headlines. If you want to know more about the issue or about ATVP you can check their website here. Remember, you probably have a local organization that does the same kind of work. Do what you can, in whatever way you can, to make it better.
And hey, if you do happen to live in the Palouse area--Lewiston Idaho, Clarkston or Pullman Washington, University of Idaho or Washington State or Lewis and Clark State College or somewhere around there--the concert isn't very far from you. E-mail me (address below) if you want to come and I'd be happy to give you directions. It's this Sunday at 7:00 p.m. Admission is free. Just being there shows support for something good. And you'd get to meet Dave outside of the blogging context, which is a rare and unheard of treat. In this case I would be the one in front with the big microphone in front of my face, which makes me pretty hard to miss.
--Dave (blazersub@yahoo.com)
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Dave,needs talking about
My Grandpa who I got my musical talent from was an abusive 4 square gospel hypocrite and I was glad when he died,I am still trying to cut it loose and forgive him but it aint easy
by southern oregon on Sep 23, 2009 12:16 AM PDT reply actions
wow
that’s sad that you were “glad” when your grandpa passed away and went to his special place in heaven (or perhaps somewhere warmer and near devils). that must be really hard on a family to deal with. yikes. good luck putting that behind you.
some things are not foregiveable. sometimes, you just have to try to block out the past and skip the foregiveness step.
by SonsofShawnKemp on Sep 23, 2009 7:59 AM PDT up reply actions
Thanks for the message
There has been so much progress in recent years and I can attest to the silence code in the 40’s 50’s and 60’s. I personally grew up in such a household. I am thankful for the folks who have made that progress possible everywhere and yet I think it is a long way from being solved.
I have worked for some years with survivors of abuse and nearly all have struggled with breaking free for years before beginning that long journey. Many are still there and will not leave. The more the issue is publicized the more courage others have to get help and leave the situation.
Thanks also for being part of the solution.
You're a good man, Dave. I'll be there in spirit.
Thank you for all you do to make the world a better place.
"Aneurysm".
When Outlaw wins a game on a last-second shot, it’s called an "annthefaneurysm". QualityPie
Dave is amazing, the best dang salesman in the office. He doesn’t sleep and once breast fed a sick flamingo back to full health!
by SonsofShawnKemp on Sep 23, 2009 8:13 AM PDT up reply actions
Women and Children were considered second class citizens
When slavery was abolished many prominent men in our society just passed slavery to their wife. The children didn’t count because they were too young and owned by the parents. Therefore it was the wife’s duty to do all the things for the man that slaves used to do. This didn’t just pertain to the normal domestic duties cast upon her but all the abuse and torture that the slave’s used to get. The woman and children never had the right to complain of abuse either sexually or physically. That is part of the reason that abuse wasn’t acted on in the past.
Only when the women formed a women’s right movement did anything get changed. And believe me they had to fight like heck to get even the littlest foothold.
I thank you Dave for supporting organizations against domestic violence.
Hg
Jamming for a good cause. Nice.
And one more issue Dave and Sophia can fully agree on ;)
"I think he can still play" - Kevin Pritchard on Juwan Howard

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