Why sometimes I wish I was 7 feet tall and had a heartbeat

by Bud Dwyer on Jul 6, 2009 11:25 AM PDT

"procerus quod rudis"

Its a small fraternity, but not in physical size and certainly not in the pocketbook. No, its small in accomplishments.

career averages

Todd MacCulloch (6 year, $34 million) 6.1 points 4.0 rebounds

Calvin Booth (6 years, $34 million) 3.3 points 2.8 rebounds

Jim McIlvaine (5 years, $33.6 million) 2.7 points 3.1 rebounds

Travis Knight (7 years, $22 million) 3.4 points 3.1 rebounds

Jerome James (5 years, $30 million) 4.3 points 3.1 rebounds

Adonal Foyle (6 years, $42 million) 4.1 points 4.7 rebounds

Vitaly Potapenko (6 year, $33 million) 6.5 points 4.5 rebounds

Joel Przybilla (5 years, $32 million) 4.2 points 6.4 rebounds

sorry Joel I didn't mean it, it was just sooooo easy. Who's my Vanilla Gorilla? Thats right! You are!

4.33 points and 3.96 rebounds on $260 million invested.

Marcin Gortat 3.7 points and 4.4 rebounds

5 years, $27 million

welcome to the club.

(btw "procerus quod rudis" means tall and clumsy)

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Comments

By focusing on traditional boxscore stats

You seem to have missed that Gortat was extremely efficient last season and is a very good two way player. He was an outstanding backup to Howard last year and is well deserving of a pay raise and an increased role on his new team.

by jksnake99 on Jul 6, 2009 12:16 PM PDT reply actions

While I would agree, I fear that was said about most big men on that list at some time: Hey look, Jerome James played great in the last three months. Lets sign him to a contract that will give him enough money to send his great grandchildren to college.

If you want to trade our spare parts for Devin Harris, I have three quarters I would like to trade for your dollar

by Norsktroll on Jul 6, 2009 12:18 PM PDT up reply actions

The difference being, of course, that Gortat has played well the whole time he's been in the NBA while James played well for one playoff series.

by jksnake99 on Jul 6, 2009 12:23 PM PDT up reply actions

Call me in five years

by Bud Dwyer on Jul 6, 2009 12:28 PM PDT up reply actions

Jerome James has been a below average player every season of his career

Save for the Sacramento series, you could have never said with a straight face “I tell you, this Jerome James is going to be a good player one day.”

The Chicago Bulls.....the more profitable Los Angeles Clippers.

by Ozzie Montana on Jul 6, 2009 9:00 PM PDT up reply actions

Take Gortat out of it

The NBA has still given tons of cash to tall dudes, who are not really that skilled in basketball. There are much better examples than any listed above, Big Country Reeves, Todd MacCulloch, plus many others are just as bad.

Ben II Blazersedge.com || New to Blazers' Edge?

by usmcr3049 on Jul 6, 2009 12:51 PM PDT up reply actions

for sure

but since it seemed like the inspiration for the fanpost was Gortat’s recent deal, I felt compelled to note that Gortat’s deal makes tons of sense, and that the outstanding GM of the Rockets, Darryl Morey wanted him also.

by jksnake99 on Jul 6, 2009 12:59 PM PDT up reply actions

Oh like the Todd MacCulloch listed above

Maybe you should actually read before you comment?

by Bud Dwyer on Jul 6, 2009 1:36 PM PDT up reply actions

lol

ok I messed him becuase his name didn’t highlight itself. I guess I am the first person ever to skim read on the interent.

Ben II Blazersedge.com || New to Blazers' Edge?

by usmcr3049 on Jul 6, 2009 2:24 PM PDT up reply actions

I guess every team has about $5 million allocated for "a tall stiff benchwarmer"

by Bud Dwyer on Jul 6, 2009 12:32 PM PDT reply actions

Pryzbilla is worth the mooney

Oden...Aldridge...Roy.....THE REAL BIG THREE

by CroRupt on Jul 6, 2009 1:01 PM PDT reply actions 1 recs

I saw a special on Todd MacCulloch awhile back.

He’s fat and is addicted to pinball. He goes to pinball tournaments and wins $300. I bet his wife is real proud when he brings home that 3" trophy for 5th place at the 4th Annual Upper Manitoba Pinball Invitational.

by Arby on Jul 6, 2009 1:12 PM PDT reply actions

Dear Bud,

I just came across your wish list on Blazersedge and I couldn’t resist not writing to you about me. I realize you have some aspiring role models, some of whom with storied careers I may never have. (Although I bet none of them prefer fighting with wooden poles) Nevertheless, last time I check, I still have a wikipedia page dedicated to me! And you can see from my wiki page, I’m a champion in the Korea Basketball League, don’t you feel happy for me!? Anyway, before I get too carry away, I’m 7’3 and I have a working heart. I hope you think more highly of me then some of the other jokers on Blazersedge, I even have a picture for your computer. Talk to you soon.

Ha Ha

by spikex on Jul 6, 2009 1:40 PM PDT reply actions 1 recs

Ha,

I am convinced that the Sonics will somehow pay you $30 million even without a team.

by Bud Dwyer on Jul 6, 2009 1:42 PM PDT up reply actions

I'm honored,

at the same time, i kind of want to see my face on billboards all over a city. I don’t think people have enough chances to see me up close to see what a big deal I am.

by spikex on Jul 6, 2009 2:09 PM PDT reply actions

LOL great post

B.S. Liberal Studies OSU '06
Trade for Gerald Wallace!!

by TyboOSU on Jul 6, 2009 3:08 PM PDT reply actions

Does no one remember Shawn Bradley?

Or Manute Bol? Mark Eaton? Man, I’m old.

by superfly05 on Jul 6, 2009 3:37 PM PDT reply actions

I was

like 3-4 when bol and eaton where playing….I think dont fell like looking online too damned lazy lol……but makes me fell well young lol not ;-)

What's the differance of 3-6 mil? oh about 20+ more losses, and the chance to watch the only star leave by the end of the season. Suck it Hedo!

Who is that you ask, well that shell of a man with his junk tucked away I think his name is Hedo. At least he used to be.

Canzano is a joke. When you see him kick him in the BUTT for me!

by in~ur~fizace on Jul 6, 2009 8:16 PM PDT up reply actions

Bradley and Manute

were actually two of the more underrated players in the NBA. Both were (and still are) routinely mocked for their awkward appearances, but they are arguably two of the top ten shot blockers in NBA history, with Manute blocking 10% of all shots against his team for his career, easily the best in NBA history, ahead of (surprise) Shawn Bradley. Both guys rank in the top ten career blocks per game, despite playing limited minutes.

Neither guy was an all timer, but comparing them to Jerome James is just insulting.

by Royster on Jul 6, 2009 9:53 PM PDT up reply actions

Greg Ostertag

"I didn't know I was going to score 52 so I didn't think to Tivo it or nothin." -B Roy

by Dodoh on Jul 6, 2009 5:10 PM PDT reply actions

I'm pretty sure Ostertag put together a few decent quarters against the Blazers at some point...

I remember cursing at the screen…I also remember hating Utah more than LA, wonder why that faded. Oh yeah, that’s right. Malone left….and became a L*ker. Someone needs to compile an official ‘dirtiest player of all time’ list and put that guy at the top please.

by mathrockerpdx on Jul 6, 2009 6:47 PM PDT up reply actions