Unofficial Contest Entry: How the '90 Blazers saved my sanity but got me fired
[I'm sure it's bad form to enter another blog's contest when one is merely the occasional visitor, and for that consider this an unofficial entry. Reading all the other entries has brought back some very fond memories of my youth, and I just can't resist sharing mine.]
The summer of 1990 started out badly. I was home from my first year away at college and chaffing at the return to parental interference with my life. More significantly, I was having trouble finding a summer job. Most kids commuted to Portland (I lived in St. Helens) for temp positions, but I was without transportation - and the best offer I had locally was a daytime babysitting job till the end of the school year. This was actually a decent job, but it wasn't going to pay enough for the next year of college.
And this is how I ended up with the most miserable job of my life, cleaning a local bank at night. I was a janitor other summers as well, but this job was different. They turned the air off after hours, and inside the building was generally too warm for an active job like cleaning. And they complained about everything! One day my vacuum pattern lines on the carpet weren't straight enough. Another day they accused me of stealing cans of soda out of the break room - and actually started a log of how many cans were left at the end of each day to be sure I wasn't! One of the managers used to hide piles of staples around her office as a test of my cleaning thoroughness, and the other manager thought I should sort his single trash can into recyclables and non-recyclables for him. It was a job I never wanted in the first place, and one I quickly grew to hate with every cell in my body.
The only saving grace to the whole situation was a radio in the main lobby. 1990 was an incredible year to be a Blazers fan. Over the previous decade the team had been semi-successful - generally going to the playoffs, but losing in the first round most years. But 1990 was different - the first full season under Adelman, 59 wins, and the team that remains one of my favorites to this day - Clyde, Terry, Jerome, Buck, and Duck. They played fast, and they played both sides of the floor. I had really suffered while away at school in Utah - this was pre-easy-internet-access, so I had to follow the team through short newspaper blurbs in the Salt Lake paper. I still remember watching the games against the Jazz in the boys' dorm lobby and getting heckled mercilessly as the only Blazers fan in the room - but it was worth it to see the men in action. (They split the season series - I might have actually sold my soul for a sweep...)
But back to the sanity-saving radio in the lobby of the bank. I started this job around the beginning of the San Antonio series. And while I carefully vacuumed in ruler-straight lines, and searched high and low for that day's hidden pile of staples, and wished bad things upon the man too lazy to recycle his own junk, and rearranged the sodas in the fridge so it would look like I might have taken some, thus forcing whichever anal employee was so concerned about a can of coke to actually count - during all of this, I would listen to the games. There is nothing so angst producing as following a game on the radio. Dependent on another's words to visualize the action, what seemed like interminable breaks between "he shoots" and "he scores." I had never before understood how addictive it can be to follow sports by sound instead of sight.
And then there was that incredible series itself. A loss on my 19th birthday that left me devastated. A double OT win just a few nights later. I faked shots with every jumper the radio guys described. I shouted semi-obscenities in the radio's direction when things went badly. I jumped and cheered like an idiot for the great plays. And after the double OT win, I actually took a victory lap or two around the lobby. (Fortunately, I wasn't working weekends, so I got to watch the Game 7, 3-point OT win in person. My family is full of wrestlers, and they really didn't get why I was huddled there in a fetal position, chewing on my sweatshirt hem, and periodically uttering unintelligible groans and shrieks. They think I'm weird....)
And then on to the 6-game series with Phoenix, featuring nail-biting wins at home and agonizing blowouts on the Suns' home court. I thought I could endure that job as long as the team was still playing. But a funny thing happened in the middle of the Phoenix series - the bank fired me. Why? The rearranged sodas? The unsorted recyclables? A missed pile of staples? No, I was done in by a surveillance camera I didn't realize existed. It was there, of course, for evidence in case of bank robbery, but my suspicious employers decided to check me out instead. And while I was officially "let go" for "lacking a certain decorum that they expect in their employees" - The janitor? Seriously? - the manager (recycle man, not staple lady) did wonder aloud in our last conversation whether I might be a drug user. He just couldn't understand what else would cause someone to jump up and down at random and run circles around the lobby!
So the '90 Blazers taught me the beauty of sports on the radio, made my roughly 3 weeks of employment at the bank bearable with their thrilling playoff run - and they also got me fired faster than I imagined possible. I'm not sure which of those things I thank them for more. ;)
32 recs |
26 comments
Comments
rec
this is my favorite so far.
love the “getting fired for jumping around” part as i used to do that all the time when listening to my teams on the radio. one of my favorite activities while listening to giants games was to take my dog, who was put to sleep last week :(, and hit the ball to her over and over and over outside.
did you ever try shooting garbage into the garbage cans? :P
She Hate Me
"oh I served BRP all right
drained J-Kiddesque running floaters over him all night long last time we balled" - prezofdeath
by cloudydays on Jul 23, 2009 7:38 PM PDT reply actions 0 recs
Sorry your doggie had to be put down :(
The NBA: Where amazingly bad officiating happens, is encouraged, and rewarded.
by The Roybot on Jul 23, 2009 7:44 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
thanks
she was old and it was time….
we had some great times together tho (listened/played ball to nearly every game of that 2002 WS Giants team lol)
She Hate Me
"oh I served BRP all right
drained J-Kiddesque running floaters over him all night long last time we balled" - prezofdeath
by cloudydays on Jul 23, 2009 7:46 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
Sorry about your dog, too - that's tough, even when kind of expected.
My parents had a black lab for years, and I loved to watch basketball with her because she mirrored my emotions so well and it was fun for some other living creature in the house to care about the game. Now I have 2 cats, and they spend much of basketball season hiding under the bed to escape my rather active viewing manners.
I never tried trashball at that job, but it’s my preferred method for throwing stuff away at work – people are always laughing at me because I pretty much suck and the floor near the garbage is constantly littered with balled up papers. (Not that I can’t hit the basket if I lob it over there, but trashball requires moves like the skyhook and calling the banked shot off the filing cabinet, you know?)
In honor of the dearly departed, I declare July PB&J month - everyone raise a sandwich to the memory of Ben!
by wjb1492 on Jul 23, 2009 8:23 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
love this story my fav
Oden...Aldridge...Roy.....THE REAL BIG THREE
by CroRupt on Jul 23, 2009 7:44 PM PDT reply actions 0 recs
My favorite. Rec’d.
life is better as an optimist
by Cablinasian on Jul 23, 2009 8:31 PM PDT reply actions 0 recs
why are you a Bulls fan, again? Turning to the dark side after being a Blazer fan is unacceptable.
life is better as an optimist
by Cablinasian on Jul 23, 2009 9:29 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
Kirk.
I went to law school at KU and got attached. I confess, it was pretty hard at first – I had the MJ-fueled hatred burning deep. But the Bulls were so bad when they drafted Kirk, and had been for so long, that it almost wasn’t like rooting for the Bulls at first, you know? I was just checking up on them to see how Kirk had done.
It was a tiny little breach in my wall of hatred, and it brought the whole thing down.
In honor of the dearly departed, I declare July PB&J month - everyone raise a sandwich to the memory of Ben!
by wjb1492 on Jul 23, 2009 9:45 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
Good one!
"Aneurysm".
When Outlaw wins a game on a last-second shot, it’s called an "annthefaneurysm". QualityPie
by annthefan on Jul 23, 2009 8:42 PM PDT reply actions 0 recs
Although your love for the Blazers is amazing,
I wish there was bit more catharsis, a violent one. Maybe you could’ve thrown the vacuum cleaner at the employees or something
The Kings have the best bench I’ve seen. There are easily 14 guys on this team good enough for every bench in the league. Now if we could only get some starters, I’d totally jizz in my pants.
Kings fan
by dyshooter182 on Jul 23, 2009 9:09 PM PDT reply actions 0 recs
A fantastic story
I hope you weren’t serious about this not being an official entry. I’ve always appreciated your level-headed comments and consider you a Bedger, even if you’re primarily a fan of the wrong team. :-)
by Corvid on Jul 23, 2009 9:27 PM PDT reply actions 0 recs
Well, thanks!
I really do feel very welcomed here and enjoy popping over to post – it just seems to rude to jump into your contest, though. The fun was in the memory and sharing it, but it feels like actual contest consideration should go to people that are here regularly and really help contribute to what this blog is.
In honor of the dearly departed, I declare July PB&J month - everyone raise a sandwich to the memory of Ben!
by wjb1492 on Jul 23, 2009 9:53 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
Take the victory and run with it.
You would be a hero on BaB.
by Sabonis4Ever on Jul 25, 2009 3:08 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
Rock Chalk!
Great post! I used to act that way listening to Royals and Jayhawks basketball games! When I got to Portland in 97, I started listening to the Blazers, but I didn’t act like a total fanatic … just an interested observer. So I’m older and more mellow now, but Brandon and the rest of the current era’s team, they inspire the lunacy in me to return.
Too bad it appears we’re about to make an offer to Miller, and therefore we’re not going to get Hinrich. I guess Chicago wanted too much, or Pritchard was just holding on too tight.
Looking forward in 09-10 to more Roy FTW!!
"I didn't know I was going to score 52 so I didn't think to Tivo it or nothin." -B Roy
by Dodoh on Jul 24, 2009 1:21 AM PDT reply actions 0 recs
This was great
thanks for sharing.
The Michael Ruffin of BlazersEdge, cuz Amlmart said so.
by BlazersOrBust on Jul 24, 2009 6:34 AM PDT reply actions 0 recs
Really good piece! REC.
"A bizarre and extremely rare hybrid Blazer/Laker fan, Timbo has always struggled to contain the Beast Within, like Dr. Jekyll, Bruce Banner, or Ted Kennedy." — Miled Animal
by timbo on Jul 24, 2009 7:52 AM PDT reply actions 0 recs
Very good entry
I have an entry on here also that has gotten good response but this one makes the Grant jersey seem farther away. Nice job and against my own welfare I will rec. I do like the idea of you getting a Hinrich jersey instead though. lol.
by eclecticspider on Jul 24, 2009 8:30 AM PDT reply actions 0 recs
I recced you, too - loved Sabonis!
In honor of the dearly departed, I declare July PB&J month - everyone raise a sandwich to the memory of Ben!
by wjb1492 on Jul 24, 2009 9:12 AM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
Interesting
They wouldn’t ask WHY you were jumping and shouting?
by pdxlifer on Jul 24, 2009 10:35 AM PDT reply actions 0 recs
Well, you have to understand that I edited out some details for readability.
I think they weren’t happy from day 1 when a teenage girl showed up. I was basically unsupervised, including having a key to the bank. The bank contracted out the hiring to a Portland janitorial service, but of course no one was going to drive regularly from Portland to check up on a couple hours a day job. So the janitorial service found someone for the job and my checks came from them, but what little face-to-face contact after I was hired was with the bank managers. And they clearly weren’t comfortable with me from the start – I don’t know if I looked untrustworthy or if they just assumed I wouldn’t be dedicated to doing a good job.
And in this conversation where I was fired, the guy kept talking about decorum and thinking the job required more maturity, but it’s not like I consciously realized I had been jumping around a lot during the games (or that they had taped me) to connect with what he was saying. So it was mostly him talking and me trying to figure out what the heck he was talking about, but not wanting to flat out say I had no idea. (I was kind of timid at that age anyway, so defending myself to an adult I barely knew was tough for me.) When he wondered aloud if I used drugs, that’s when I finally said I had no clue what he was talking about – and that’s when he pulled out this surveillance tape of me acting like an idiot.
I did look ridiculous, though. There was no sound, just this image of a person doing ordinary janitorial work, but periodically jumping, or running, or turning to yell at the wall. Once I saw it and realized what he was talking about, of course I told him I’d been listening to the games while I worked. Too bad he wasn’t a fan – he didn’t seem to think using their radio to listen to basketball was appropriate either. Really, I think it was all just an excuse to fire me because of my age – maybe I actually did suck at the job, but I honestly did my best to make the jerks happy. Well, other than rearranging the pop in the fridge – I was really pissed at being accused of stealing.
In honor of the dearly departed, I declare July PB&J month - everyone raise a sandwich to the memory of Ben!
by wjb1492 on Jul 24, 2009 12:28 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
great, great read
thx!
Go Blazers!!!!!!!!!! Wooooooooooot Wooooooooooooot!!!!!!!!!
by broyposse on Jul 24, 2009 10:16 PM PDT reply actions 0 recs
I hope this entry wins the contest.
Stupid people have stupid ideas.
by AK1984 on Jul 25, 2009 12:59 AM PDT reply actions 0 recs
YOU TRAITOR
Just kidding, this was a great read. If you post this on BaB, I’m sure it will get tons of love, at least the same amount Kirk gets :)
The Chicago Bulls.....the more profitable Los Angeles Clippers.
by Ozzie Montana on Jul 25, 2009 9:15 PM PDT reply actions 0 recs

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