Dr Jekyll and Mr Sedge

My internal conversation

Dr Jekyll: Team management has had a rough go thus far in the off-season.

Mr Sedge: "Rough!?!?!" Are you kidding? It's been a disaster! KP is an idiot!

Dr Jekyll: Whoa, there pal. That's Kev you are talking about there. The wizard of the war room, the best GM in sports, so ease up a minute...

Mr Sedge: OK. Explain the draft then. We coulda had DeJuan Blair, like, twelve times and passed, and instead took some dude that won't play in America for at least a year, Richie Cunningham, and Teddy Pendergrass? He's lost his touch, fo sho!

Dr Jekyll: Well now, if you can consider, for a moment the fact that we are already paying lottery money to a couple of guys who are still developing and that two other key players are entering their sophomore season, perhaps ol' Pritch considered the first round money less than cap friendly. Back-to-back-to-back quality drafts can leave a roster pretty young, and it's no secret that Nate is ready for some veteran blood.

Mr Sedge: Fine, let's assume that you are rational and correct... Wherfore art thou, oh seasoned vet? Turkoglu? Laughed in our face. Bass? Gone to the Magic. Ariza? Couldn't wait to sign with Houston. Oh, and did I mention the L*kers got one of the best wing defenders in the league? We are the laughingstock of the NBA! ARRRGGGGHH!

Dr Jekyll: Easy there, my loathful little pal. Turkoglu followed the money and the culture. It's not like we are talking about an all-star here, is it? He's a nice player, no doubt, but many believe his presence would have upset chemistry, and weakened our starting defense, which was a huge priority for us to improve. Brandon Bass is not worth frothing at the mouth about, and the Ariza, Artest swap is basically a wash, in my opinion. Factor in that Shaq is headed East and Yao will be out next year, and our road to the playoffs is easier in 2010 than 2009.

Mr Sedge: That's debatable. Either way, now we have an offer sheet out there on a signing that will be sure to raise the eyebrows of an already insecure Lamarcus Aldridge! "Hmm. They are going after a pure PF as insurance so they don't have to give me a max deal". Gah! How can they be this stupid.

Dr Jekyll: Lamarcus will be fine. The daily scrutiny of the minutia of the Blazers offseason strategy is driving you mad! There is very little chance that Utah will not match our offer, meaning that we are driving their cap number up, or forcing the three way trade with the Bulls that wil land us Hinrich. It's smart business, a la Memphis signing Miles to sink us was smart.

Mr Sedge: Don't get me started on Miles. And, today, of course, we have heard that KP and Paul are waffling around with the future of our franchise, by telling Brandon that they would rather do a four year deal than a five?!?!? I have a mind to go down there and punch them both in the face!! Brandon said that he is "very frustrated and disappointed" with the way contract negotiations are going! GREAAAAAT! I am sure Dr Buss is on the phone with him right now, and LeBron is flying him to Cleveland and Brooklyn this weekend.

Dr Jekyll: Wow! Where to begin. What has been reported about Brandon, as far as I know, came from a tweet, text or AM radio interview. With the popularity of this new era of Blazers, we have a salivationg fanbase that is DESPERATE for news, and upon hearing the slightest inking of trouble, will freak out. Do you think that maybe, just MAYBE, Clyde Drexler might have been, at one point or another, frustrated by negotiations? How about Magic, or MJ? Of COURSE they were, but we didn't have the constant geiser of tweets, texts, radio personalities that are part leach and part blood hound, and auto-refreshing Sedge at work. Wait a few days before you judge Brandon OR team officials. I can tell you this... Paul and KP know that losing Brandon Roy would go down as a bigger mistake than drafting Sam Bowie.

Mr Sedge: Well, I can't wait to see our 2010 starting 5 of Blake, Martell, Outlaw, Pendergrass and Oden lose 60 games.

Dr Jekyll: And I am quite sure we will be in the WCF next year wondering how we ever had a conversation like this in the first place.

Mr Sedge: My ass itches.

Dr Jekyll: So does mine.