Blazersedge: An SB Nation Community

Navigation: Jump to content areas:


Sports blogs for fans, by fans.
New Blog: RSL Soapbox for Real Salt Lake Fans!

OT: From Banned to Mod

                                              How I became the first person Dave ever banned from Blazer's Edge

                                                                                         A cautionary tale

Star-divide

   It was a few years back when it all happened but I remember it like it was yesterday.  Dave had written something like 30,000 words praising the Blazer’s latest effort.  I especially remember how he went on and on about how the two young guys, Zach and Darius, were the final pieces and now we would be headed to the playoffs.  Last night’s game, he said, was a great indicator of how far the team had come since they only lost by 37 points.  Once Paul Allen finally took his advice, he asserted, and made John Canzano the head coach, there would be no holding the Blazers back from championship city.

   What really caught my attention, though, were three paragraphs about Sebastian Telfair and how he had shown such amazing brilliance the night before.  “Telfair is truly one of a kind,” he espoused, “I marvel at his amazing skills.  He truly is the next Michael Jordan, Larry Bird and Manute Bol rolled into one”

    I was confused.  I wrote him, and as I recall, this is what I asked, “Dave, I don’t mean to question you, but don’t you think it might behoove us to look at Chris Paul in the next draft?  He does seem to have some talent and Bassy is so small and inconsistent.” 

   “SILENCE, PEON!”  He roared back at me.  (I realize it isn’t possible for a guy to roar in print but he went ahead and did it anyway.)  “YOU DARE QUESTION ME?  YOU DARE INTERRUPT ME WHEN I AM BUSY SCANNING THE INTERNETS FOR NEW PICTURES OF SALMA HAYEK?  YOU DARE QUESTION THE FLASHES OF BRILLIANCE I SAW FROM TELFAIR LAST NIGHT?”

    I meekly wrote back to him, “No sir.  It’s just that, well, Telfair only played 47 seconds last night.  He had one assist, 6 turnovers and shot 1 for 12 from the field.  I just wondered where you saw the brilliance is all.  And, well, there’s this Chris Paul guy…”

   “THAT WILL BE ALL,” he answered me back in a huff.  “DON'T BORE ME WITH MEANINGLESS STATS.  YOU ARE HEREBY BANNED FROM BLAZER’S EDGE FOREVER!”

   Well, after a couple of months of begging he finally reinstated me and I’ve toed the line ever since.  And that is the more or less true story of how I became the first person to be banned from Blazer’s Edge.

 

EDIT:  I discussed this with Dave a while back and he remembered it slightly differently than I did.  He had some silly recollection of running a test banning using me as a guinea pig or some such nonsense.  I'm pretty sure my recollection is closer to the truth.

 

15 recs  |  Comment 22 comments

Story-email Email Printer Print

Comments

Display:

Back in the day

I was the worst Bassy hater in this part of the state,I called him the ego freak runt,ban me if you must.

by southern oregon on Jun 5, 2009 7:18 PM PDT reply actions   0 recs

So, Dave used to type in all caps?

"It’s a good ol’ fashioned Rip City beat down!"

by Magnum on Jun 5, 2009 7:32 PM PDT reply actions   0 recs

Only when yelling...

at insubordinates. He’s mellowed greatly.

So he said in himself: "O vilest of those wherefor was made the byword: 'The pilgrimage is not perfected save by copulation with the camel!"' Richard Burton, Arabian Nights

by -ken on Jun 5, 2009 7:34 PM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

Children do that to you

and on the other hand, it goes the other way some times!

Brandon Roy, 'nuff said.

Best draft of all time: "1942, right after Pearl Harbor….everyone got drafted" --- 92wastheyear

by johnv59 on Jun 5, 2009 7:48 PM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

Yes, Dave is much more subtle now

He makes them into mods so they will be subordinates.

When I rule the world, everyone will know how to use Excel.

by jscot on Jun 6, 2009 1:27 PM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

Forever?

is a relative term…. LOL

Brandon Roy, 'nuff said.

Best draft of all time: "1942, right after Pearl Harbor….everyone got drafted" --- 92wastheyear

by johnv59 on Jun 5, 2009 7:47 PM PDT reply actions   0 recs

Angry Dave

Draft Cole Aldrich 2010

by jlarose78 on Jun 5, 2009 7:52 PM PDT reply actions   3 recs

he's watching a L*kers game

in that picture

Brandon Roy, 'nuff said.

Best draft of all time: "1942, right after Pearl Harbor….everyone got drafted" --- 92wastheyear

by johnv59 on Jun 5, 2009 7:57 PM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

Stage 1:
Stage 2:

by Norsktroll on Jun 5, 2009 8:07 PM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

Stage 3

"Should I ask? What's a punani?" - by annthefan on May 3, 2009 1:55 PM

by Sexual Tyrannosaurus on Jun 5, 2009 8:23 PM PDT reply actions   0 recs

Isn't that Mortimer?

I heard he likes watching us all through our windows a few times.

by staylost on Jun 5, 2009 11:02 PM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

The post was hillarious

The comments (and pictures) even more so.

I know less than half of you half as well as I should like, and I like less than half of you half as well as you deserve.

by haildablazer on Jun 5, 2009 10:32 PM PDT reply actions   0 recs

OFFFFF WITH THEIR HEADSSSS!!!!....

(thinkin queen of hearts, Alice in Wonderland)

The Faith don't panic, the faith freaks out, burns out farms, and torchs small villages in the name of The Faith.

by faith on Jun 6, 2009 2:19 AM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

Hilarious.

I played a 2-2 game last week, i thought we won by 3. Turns out we lost by 5. I didn’t even find out for about 3 days later.

Go selective memory.

* Building a Greg Oden Fanboy Treehouse Clubhouse this summer...

by OdenFanBoy on Jun 6, 2009 12:57 AM PDT reply actions   0 recs

This should have been a...

[post deleted, account terminated—the mods]

I am Spartacus and I approved this message

by EngineerScotty on Jun 9, 2009 12:51 PM PDT reply actions   0 recs

I don't think they really do anything

I’ve flagged the heck out of -Ken’s comments and he’s still around.

by tominhawaii on Jun 9, 2009 12:55 PM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

They probably ignore your flags

Try reccing Ken’s posts instead.

I am Spartacus and I approved this message

by EngineerScotty on Jun 9, 2009 1:11 PM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

Sorry for the dup post

I got an error message from the site software telling me to “post again”, so I did.

Bet Tom never gets that error message.

I am Spartacus and I approved this message

by EngineerScotty on Jun 9, 2009 1:13 PM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

Comments For This Post Are Closed


User Tools

A site by Blazer fans, for Blazer fans
Start posting about the Trail Blazers »

Join SB Nation and dive into communities focused on all your favorite teams.

FanPosts

Community blog posts and discussion.

Recommended FanPosts

Winged_vitory_small
Whither Sports
Ep_109_starvinmarvin_small
11/24 JD - Feelin' Froggy? Then Leap!
Imgp4868_small
Taking Back the Neighborhood...
Small
What a difference a year makes. Warning: contains no Blake, Roy, McMillan insults
Dscn06250517_1_small
Let's Celebrate GREG ODEN !!!

Recent FanPosts

Small
Not Good Leadership...
Small
Was last nights game blacked out on NBAtv for Comcast viewers?
Gorilla_w_boombox_small
POLL: Who would win a Blazer dunk contest?
Oden_small
Should Brandon Roy start at PG?
Oden-hulk_small
Point Guard Dilemma
Small
What do you guys think of Canzano/Quick's coverage of the Blazers these days?

+ New FanPost All FanPosts >

FanShots

Quick hits of video, photos, quotes, chats, links and lists that you find around the web.

Recommended FanShots

oden's interview with nba.com
Historic photo of 1st Israeli & 1st Iranian to play in NBA: Omri Casspi & Hamed Haddadi
A modest proposal: Fire Mike Rice and Antonio Harvey!
For Ann, and Travis.

Recent FanShots

PLEA: Need video of Deng catching Rudy's pass with his face
Andre Miller's incredible plus/minus last night
A.I. to Tanzania
KD: Good or Bad? Prof. Winston Refutes Bill Simmons
Does Roy Read Blazers Edge?
Nates Thoughts After Bulls Defeat
The Most Overrated Team In The NBA - Rob Johnson
Point Guard Dilemma

+ New FanShot All FanShots >


Editors

Kitten_small Dave

Ben_small Ben.

Moderators

Pict1126_small -ken

Polar_bear_small jorga

Terryporter_small prezofdeath

Small usmcr3049

Jesus_icon_i_small T Darkstar

Wallpaper_small geoffm