Our new starting small forward: Kobe Bryant
Breathe in, breathe out. Easy. Easy. Get over the hate for "K*be" and the "L*kers" the author of this otherwise fine blog has tried to instill in you for far too long. Kobe is not the devil. Kobe is an extremely fine basketball player. We will kill LeBron, Wade, Paul, Howard, Yao and all the other "stars" 9 games out of 10 with him and Roy on the roster. Black Mamba. Yellow Mamba. And1. 70 wins. Dead LeBron.
How we will play:
Kobe is a natural SG, but he is so strong and big that he can easily play the small forward spot like he did last year all the time in a three-guard lineup with Fisher and Vujacic, or SG alongside Roy at PG. Heck, in the end it doesn't matter where he plays, he is Kobe Bryant, can score over anyone, can defend multiple positions, and we will have the two clutchest finishers in basketball. Interested? No? Really? Let me tell you more about it.
Here is how it will go down:
Kobe does not win a title this year. Either the Rockets stop him, or Denver/Dallas, or latest the LeBrons. Frustrated, he wants out of LA. Again. And this time for good. But now he can without trying to force a trade. He has a so called Early Termination Option (ETO) in his contract that he can pull for the 2009 offseason to make him an unrestricted free agent (ESPN). He has long planned to use that, and his dream is to play for Nate like they discussed last year during the Olympics. He respects Phil Jackson, but after Phil revealed all those intimate details about the 2004 season in his book he doesn't love him anymore. After all, Shaq and Karl Malone and last but not least Phil himself were responsible for all of this mess. But he loves Nate. He loves Roy. He wants to be a Blazer. Only a Blazer.
Now, he will still command maximum salary in the $20-24 million dollar range, and we will have less cap space (about $7) after Raef and Channing are off the books. Here is how KP will create the necessary space:
- The "medically retired Darius Miles comes back on our cap" CBA provision gets challenged and overturned by July. The motion has already been filed with the league office. You know why PA, KP and Miller were so mad about those $9 million that they sent out "the e-mail"? It wasn't about some lame free agent or trade. It threatened to endanger "Plan B(ryant)", thats why! Boom, $16 million cap space!
- Travis gets traded to the Memphis Grizzlies who can absorb him with their cap space and always loved him for a conditional 2010 first round pick (top 5 protected) and a 2011 second round pick. Boom, $19.5 million cap space! The Blazers will retire #25 later in Travis' honor.
- Martell gets traded to the Oklahoma City Team That Shall Not Be Named who can absorb him with their cap space for a conditional first round pick (top 10 protected in 2010, top 5 protected in 2011, top 3 protected in 2012). Boom, $24 million cap space!
- Kobe gets signed, continues to wear #24 since that is still available, and a raucous crowd chants "Kobe, Kobe" for his welcoming rally on Pioneer Square.
Epilogue:
This will restore order in the universe. Timbo can stop being a Lakers fan, with his favorite player coming to his favorite team. Roy loves Kobe. Kobe loves Roy. Nic and Rudy love Kobe, and will profit immensely being his backup for the next 4 years. We will all love Kobe. And the Blazers win many titles. This is KP's masterplan. Always has been. Black Mamba. Yellow Mamba. See how it all fits together? Thus it has been written.
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We do all that and sign Artest. The rest of the team circles around them, and they have a knife fight to the death for the SF position.
The beauty here? The salary for the loser comes off our books!
2 hot 2 stop it
How about if we do it as a PPV in international waters?
We could make enough to pay that salary + luxury tax
Technically under the cap
A team can apply for medical retirement in case of sudden death. Charlotte did it when Bobby Phils died. (I realized Dan the Man’s point was a joke, but it has happened.)
Evil Cowtown Inc: Screwin' Suckaz over since Nineteen Eighty-Five.....
No mistakes in the tango, darling. Not like life. Simple. That's what makes the tango so great. If you make a mistake, and get all tangled up, you just tango on.....
Why am I picturing
Kobe and Ron knife fighting in modern dance to Bernstein music. Someone with better Photoshopping skills than me can change the photo appropriately:

Kellen Clemens vs. Mark Sanchez
When you’re a Jet, you’re a Jet all the way. – Elgin
Brandon Roy: Strengths-remarkably efficient player who appears to effortlessly score and facilitate. Weakness-he’s just a figment of your imagination. - Canis Hoopus
Sweet! That's pretty close to what I had in mind
I was actually thinking of The Count of Monte Cristo, where he encounters the pirates after escaping from prison. That movie was so much better than I expected it to be.
2 hot 2 stop it
It's what came to mind
I played bass in the orchestra pit for West Side Story in high school so it’s stuck with me for 20+ years.
He is not the Devil...
but I am pretty sure he might be the Antichrist.
At any rate is he definitely a huge boner.
Roy is the best player in the world with the exception of Incarcerated Mike from Queensbridge .
by Nick Van Excellent on May 7, 2009 3:25 PM PDT reply actions
is that a question?
At any rate is he definitely a huge boner.
If so, I’ll admit that I’m pitching a tent right now.
Sorry, I misspoke.
I meant he is a huge “Bonner”, as in Matt Bonner. As in, he is a huge fan of Matt Bonner. Sorry, I can see why that would be confusing.
Seriously though, how great is Matt Bonner? I love that guy. He’s a blue collar, hustle, high energy guy, with an extremely high basketball IQ. He just really outworks everyone on the floor, you know? Plus he’s a good locker room presence. His off court production is through the roof.
Irish people are always really good at basketball. It’s just in our nature.
Roy is the best player in the world with the exception of Incarcerated Mike from Queensbridge .
by Nick Van Excellent on May 7, 2009 3:37 PM PDT up reply actions
Bonner for MVP 2010
You heard it here first.
by teenagemutantninjabayless on May 7, 2009 3:54 PM PDT up reply actions 1 recs
I like your name.
Roy is the best player in the world with the exception of Incarcerated Mike from Queensbridge .
by Nick Van Excellent on May 7, 2009 4:02 PM PDT up reply actions
It's one of my favorites, too.
I know less than half of you half as well as I should like, and I like less than half of you half as well as you deserve.
by haildablazer on May 7, 2009 10:09 PM PDT up reply actions
GREAT name
Q: Is Greg favoring his knee?
Frye: He favors dunking on your head, that's what he favors.
April fools?
"seriously, i didn’t think this would happen, ever, but i got a girlfriend" -- Blazermaniac Andy
Ocho de Mayo?
aka “The 8 of OJ Mayo” … except Bryant is now the #24 of whores… so it doesn’t exactly work.
I hope so...
Q: Is Greg favoring his knee?
Frye: He favors dunking on your head, that's what he favors.
...
Please God no. You just described my worst nightmare.
"Sasha? That's a sissy name." -Mike Rice
by koyote on May 7, 2009 3:33 PM PDT reply actions 2 recs
Kobe and the Lakers: "We shall defeat them without firing a single shot!".
The enemy within…..
Blazer's Edge Ambassador to The Dream Shake Blog
LMA Rocks!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I <3 LMA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
LMA - Putting the POWER in POWER FORWARD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
The concussion must have jarred him into "Destroy All Opposition Terminator Mode!" - BlazersOrBust
we are no longer friends...i knew you were a traitor Norsk!!!
Go Blazers!!!!!!!!!! Wooooooooooot Wooooooooooooot!!!!!!!!!
by broyposse on May 7, 2009 3:33 PM PDT reply actions 1 recs
Norsk was always your friend...
with this great idea, he became a friend with benefits…
Suggesting Kobe is a nice little benny for you to chew on. I think the idea has legs. It’s an up and comer.
In the words of Katelyn Faber
No
wanderlust
by gatajohn on May 7, 2009 3:36 PM PDT reply actions 20 recs
Too soon?
Roy is the best player in the world with the exception of Incarcerated Mike from Queensbridge .
by Nick Van Excellent on May 7, 2009 4:19 PM PDT up reply actions
There was a pretty good MAD TV skit about that season called "Shaq and the Super Lakers"
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CUHa5VsuGpE
(Nothing really happens and it’s a drawn comic for most of the sketch)
by Norsktroll on May 7, 2009 4:32 PM PDT up reply actions 1 recs
There's two sides to this story.
The young woman accusing Kobe Bryant of rape bragged about the alleged assault at a party last week – and gave a graphic description of the NBA star’s anatomy, partygoers said.
Steve Evancho told NBC News that he was surprised when the 19-year-old woman showed up at his house party on July 15 – three days before prosecutors slapped Bryant with sex assault charges.
“She was bragging about the whole thing,” Evancho said, adding that the woman seemed “happy. She was having fun.”
She even answered a question about the 6-foot-7 L.A. Lakers star’s manhood, five people at the party told NBC.
“She answered with a gesture and a description,” said NBC correspondent Michelle Hofland. “They couldn’t believe it.”
http://www.nydailynews.com/archives/news/2003/07/24/2003-07-24_kobe_s_accuser__bragged___pa.html
In court filings over the past week, Bryant’s attorneys asked for a hearing on the 19-year-old woman’s sexual conduct before — and after — her June 30 encounter with Bryant. They also asked the judge to allow evidence that the woman twice attempted suicide and had been treated with an anti-psychotic drug.
The defense also wants the woman’s mother forced to testify about her daughter’s medical history during a hearing Friday, when state District Judge Terry Ruckriegle will hear arguments on whether medical records and records held by an Eagle County rape-crisis center can be used as evidence.
“They are doing their job,” Steinhauser said of Bryant’s attorneys. “They are representing a person who is facing life imprisonment and they are filing every motion that can possibly be filed. They’re going to make sure that the prosecutors are going to work for that conviction.”
http://nbcsports.msnbc.com/id/3723073/
Frankly, none of us here knows exactly what went down that night between Kobe Bryant and Kate Faber.
Yes: and OJ's still looking for the real killers
(His current prison term is deep-cover investigation.)
"We don't back down to nobody." --Joel Przybilla
by hurryup09 on May 8, 2009 8:12 AM PDT up reply actions 3 recs
LOL
Deep Cover brilliant +1
"Death is not final," Gita says. "If any man thinks that he slays, and if another thinks that he is slain, neither knows the truth. The Eternal in man cannot kill: the Eternal in man cannot die. The soul in man is neither born nor does it die. Weapons cannot cut it; fire cannot burn it; water cannot drown it.
The Bhagavad Gita
True nobody knows
but I note that nobody defended Ruben Patterson to the ends of the earth. Also, why did he settle the civil suit? It is exceedingly difficult to prove Rape in a criminal case with no witnesses. Even if she is mentally ill there are plenty of rapes that occur in Mental Hospitals and it is still wrong. Finally, if this is a profitable endeavor (falsely claiming rape) why isn’t it happening constantly in the NBA?
"Death is not final," Gita says. "If any man thinks that he slays, and if another thinks that he is slain, neither knows the truth. The Eternal in man cannot kill: the Eternal in man cannot die. The soul in man is neither born nor does it die. Weapons cannot cut it; fire cannot burn it; water cannot drown it.
The Bhagavad Gita
I'll be honest.
If the Blazers actually acquired Kobe Bryant (yeah, right), it would make total sense. There would be absolutely no defensible reason why he shouldn’t play for Portland. But I would love my team just a little bit less. I’d enjoy the basketball, but the emotional bond would not be as strong. I’d also view with disdain the inevitable bandwagon-jumping by Kobe fans that would result.
Hit it. Yes he did. Ohhhh yeah.
Pritchard, who has preached endlessly about culture, would look like the biggest tool in the shed
No hypocrisy, please.
by upper left corner on May 7, 2009 6:50 PM PDT up reply actions 2 recs
he also said on 95.5 the game recently that he is going to look more at players who can help the team now and not so much at "nice guys", as he thinks our culture is strong enough to handle a not so squeaky clean player.
by dario argento on May 7, 2009 10:41 PM PDT up reply actions
That was during the Courtside interview
I’ll take a backup PF/C with a chippy attitude and some playoff-sharpened elbows
long before I’l entertain the idea of KB in red/black
Kobe is the devil and I can prove it
Have you ever seen the two of them together?
formerly fromagnon... I remember back in the day... way back before you young cats were around, back when I ruled the jersey contest... back when it meant something... back when hip-hop was alive
No, that was Shaq
The devil was there though, he was the crazy, insane guy with the creepy hair and the glowing eyes and that huge psychotic smile wearing the “Fox” jersey.
I.....like it?
I hate you Norsk
/shakes fist angrily
Best of Senator Clay Davis: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TI4-QyAzY64&feature=related
I refuse to vote in the poll.
None of those answers reflects sanity.
"Respect everyone, fear no one." -TP
by Arby on May 7, 2009 3:44 PM PDT reply actions 22 recs
Agreed
There is no remotely sane answer. It’s the least answerable poll I’ve ever seen on BEdge.
Q: Is Greg favoring his knee?
Frye: He favors dunking on your head, that's what he favors.
by KP Corleone on May 7, 2009 4:12 PM PDT up reply actions 12 recs
Best comment yet in this deranged thread
Rec’d. Turn it green, all ye true fans of the Red and Black
by upper left corner on May 7, 2009 5:17 PM PDT up reply actions
Yeah....that poll sucks
Where’s the option that says “I can finally see Norsktroll has gotten into Damon & Sheed’s secret stash”?
Blazers win!
by The X-man on May 7, 2009 6:11 PM PDT up reply actions 8 recs
^this
I know less than half of you half as well as I should like, and I like less than half of you half as well as you deserve.
by haildablazer on May 7, 2009 10:16 PM PDT up reply actions
Anything to crush LeBron. Except nooottt really because. Well just because.
-Gabby
by ireallylikejerrydbayless on May 7, 2009 3:46 PM PDT reply actions
now that's an option
i could vote for.
"Fernandez, to my eyes, is the Blazer who walks that walk most comfortably. A lot of Portland's fans (egged on, dare I say, by their local broadcasters) lament things like how Ron Artest or Yao Ming get to hit Brandon Roy's arms.
But I suspect Fernandez sees all that and thinks: We get to hit arms! Cool!"
http://myespn.go.com/blogs/truehoop/0-39-135/On-Playoff-Experience.html
the poll fails
there is no “FREE BAYLESS!” option
Best of Senator Clay Davis: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TI4-QyAzY64&feature=related
by cloudydays on May 7, 2009 3:47 PM PDT reply actions 1 recs
This is about our small forward situation, not our point guard situation. But I added a plan for Ben.
psssh
we don’t need a small forward out there with Rex on the court. He could defend like 3 guys at the same time
Best of Senator Clay Davis: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TI4-QyAzY64&feature=related
I saw him once in high school
Shredder was coaching the other team, and so during half-time, after he responded to Charlie Villanueva’s twitter, he chowed down on a bunch of pizzas and went on fire NBA Jam style. He just kept stealing the ball and hitting full-court shots.
Then the net caught on fire.
Bayless in a half-shell.
by teenagemutantninjabayless on May 7, 2009 4:10 PM PDT up reply actions
*Inhale the smoke in*.............................................................................................*exhale the smoke out*
Offseason:
Trade For Mike Conley Jr
Draft Kevin Seraphin/Edwin Jackson
Sign Othello Hunter & DJ Mbenga(Both for big man depth)
by TheGreatDane17 on May 7, 2009 4:12 PM PDT up reply actions
I don't think that the drug of choice was Maijuana........more like LSD.
Blazer's Edge Ambassador to The Dream Shake Blog
LMA Rocks!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I <3 LMA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
LMA - Putting the POWER in POWER FORWARD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
The concussion must have jarred him into "Destroy All Opposition Terminator Mode!" - BlazersOrBust
What does Bayless have to do with our PG situation?
He isn’t even close to being a PG now, and probably never will be.
by hoopla-pdx on May 7, 2009 5:10 PM PDT up reply actions 1 recs
I'll do it...
Sell my soul for the Blazers dynasty of championships starting 2010 and running straight through six seasons. Thanks for posting this, now I can look forward to burning in hell.
Unlike Ruben Patterson, Kobe Bryant isn't a "sex offender" by definition.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kate_Faber
There’s a tangible difference, which must accounted for if you wish to avoid making libelous comments.
How about "no more players suspected by many people of being rapists"
Ruben plead to a lesser crime, ZBo was just present in the room, Kobe paid off his accuser. Hard to know what to think of the charges against Kobe, but I don’t think that history fits with the current Blazers’ philosophy of “good character guys”.
by hoopla-pdx on May 7, 2009 5:17 PM PDT up reply actions 2 recs
Talk about destroying the culture
I would rather loose than have Bryant on our team.
I would be far more satisfied rooting for a team that lost in the playoffs for the next six years than to root for a team that included Kobe, even if they won.
by upper left corner on May 7, 2009 5:21 PM PDT up reply actions 1 recs
Please?!
I too would rather support a sub 500 team than support K*be.
Bedge or go home.
by Ojala John on May 7, 2009 6:32 PM PDT up reply actions 1 recs
you're just as much of a "sex offender"
as Kobe is…
Let’s not hang people like in that Beer for My Horses song… we live in a civilized society these days, thankfully.
that is a messed up video !
Offseason:
Trade For Mike Conley Jr
Draft Kevin Seraphin/Edwin Jackson
Sign Othello Hunter & DJ Mbenga(Both for big man depth)
by TheGreatDane17 on May 7, 2009 4:13 PM PDT up reply actions
the only way he wants
out of la if they’re home next weekend,and it’s denver vs houston in the wcf.he has an out,it would be a sign and trade deal.as long as roy is on the roster i’ll trade anybody on this roster for him.roy is in a class by himself now.the rest of his teammates are the jv.roy is in the same class as bryant lebron and wade now.the rest of his running mates don’t measure up to"the franchise’ book it.
Who gets to shoot in the clutch?
He is a great player, but I like players who don’t have to play dirty.
Offseason:
Trade For Mike Conley Jr
Now that is really a lame safe trade. I thought people want to go big.
You can always trade for vanilla guys like Jefferson, Wallace, Deng. But only once in a while you can get a Bryant or Artest.
"I am lame, I want to go safe and sign Ron Artest instead"
by The Most Interesting Man in the World on May 7, 2009 4:36 PM PDT up reply actions 1 recs
now how can we take this seriously
when your flip flopping?
by The Most Interesting Man in the World on May 7, 2009 4:37 PM PDT up reply actions
Wallace has had 47 concussions
He fractured a rib, punctured a lung, and was back on the court after three sips of Gatorade.
He once lost an arm and grew it back in 37 minutes, and was back for the fourth quarter, went 8-8 from the foul line, and had a PER of 97 for the game.
He’s many things, but vanilla is definitely not one of them.
Q: Is Greg favoring his knee?
Frye: He favors dunking on your head, that's what he favors.
by KP Corleone on May 8, 2009 7:27 AM PDT up reply actions 1 recs
Well played
Q: Is Greg favoring his knee?
Frye: He favors dunking on your head, that's what he favors.
This is so abhorrent, so terrible, so mind-blowingly awful to think about......
……and it makes total sense.
Rec para juevos grandes.
Yes! Yes! In the face!
by LeafHawk on May 7, 2009 4:09 PM PDT reply actions 2 recs
Sorry Norsk, I can't rec this
You can’t joke about this stuff.
"I'm at the thingamajig talking the yakety-yak" - Kenny Smith
by blzrfan on May 7, 2009 4:13 PM PDT reply actions 3 recs
TROLL TROLL TROLL
Mom…… NORSK’sTROLLING AGAIN!
by GreatOden'sRaven on May 7, 2009 4:14 PM PDT reply actions 2 recs
STOP THE REC MADNESS!
This is insanity. It would be a sign of weakness to rec this into the top section.
I despite the idea of Kobe to the Blazers. I am a new pseudo-Blazer fan and that would without question kill any Blazer fandom. I would not root for this team with Kobe on it.
Q: Is Greg favoring his knee?
Frye: He favors dunking on your head, that's what he favors.
by KP Corleone on May 7, 2009 4:14 PM PDT reply actions 5 recs
I meant despise
As in hate, abhor, detest, revile, etc.
This is the worst idea I have ever heard. Ever. In my life.
Compared to this, it was a good idea for Iraq to invade Kuwait. It was a good idea for Japan to invite America into WWII. It was a good idea for McCain to pick Palin as his running mate.
Q: Is Greg favoring his knee?
Frye: He favors dunking on your head, that's what he favors.
by KP Corleone on May 7, 2009 4:18 PM PDT up reply actions 3 recs
jefferson
is a better version of s.battier and loves the playoffs,g.wallace is a loser.he gets hurt too damn much.and it’s easy to score for the bobcats.
Richard Jefferson?
I don’t think you mean Al Jefferson, and I can’t think of any others. Having watched him play in Milwaukee, he’s basically Travis Outlaw. Outlaw’s strengths. Outlaw’s weaknesses. On both offense and defense. Only his price tag is way higher, and he’s older, hence he’s more well known.
I used to be okay with trying to get him, but by the end of this season, seeing him play here in Milwaukee, has really turned me off on the idea.
Of all the things that can be expressed in the printed word – love, hate, fear, joy – true humor is the one that is the most difficult of all. Sarcasm, for example, is an art of delicate subtlety. Yet too many people wield it as a bulldozer – loud, smelly, ugly, and destructive – and think they are being funny.
I might even venture to call him the anti-Battier.
Of all the things that can be expressed in the printed word – love, hate, fear, joy – true humor is the one that is the most difficult of all. Sarcasm, for example, is an art of delicate subtlety. Yet too many people wield it as a bulldozer – loud, smelly, ugly, and destructive – and think they are being funny.
by T Darkstar on May 7, 2009 6:48 PM PDT up reply actions 1 recs
I agree with Darkstar
which Jefferson are you talking about?
RJ may love the playoffs, but he certainly ain’t IN them this year. And a guy who is a “better version of s. battier” might play defense once in a while.
I have not yet begun to defile myself.
by EngineerScotty on May 7, 2009 7:39 PM PDT up reply actions
I would still boo Kobe even if he were a Blazer, no matter how much better he'd make the team.
by NWfan on May 7, 2009 4:16 PM PDT reply actions 2 recs
One who says something like that is one who does not watch much Kobe Bryant...
"A bizarre and extremely rare hybrid Blazer/Laker fan, Timbo has always struggled to contain the Beast Within, like Dr. Jekyll, Bruce Banner, or Ted Kennedy." — Miled Animal
No
Kobe can’t win in Portland. Would you like the team to go 0-41 at home next season?
by tingeyga on May 7, 2009 4:19 PM PDT reply actions 6 recs
we'll just rest kobe for the home games.
kobe’s getting old yanno, he’ll need his rest
"There are a few teams you have to watch out for in the fourth quarter."
"Yeah, but Portland definitely is not one of them."
-New Orleans Hornets broadcasters at the end of the third quarter with the Hornets leading 74-59. Portland later ends up winning 97-89.
"They don't mind him shooting that shot at all. Rudy Fernandez is not that great of a 3pt shooter."
-New Orleans Hornets broadcasters right after a Rudy Fernandez missed 3pter. Rudy Fernandez finished the game with three 3pters on six attempts.
by Tofu Anonymous on May 7, 2009 4:32 PM PDT up reply actions
Norsk
I want you to do another post, about the potential options of the particular free agent that KP was saving cap for at the beginning of the season, NOT Kobe.
Offseason:
Trade For Mike Conley Jr
Draft Kevin Seraphin/Edwin Jackson
Sign Othello Hunter & DJ Mbenga(Both for big man depth)
by TheGreatDane17 on May 7, 2009 4:31 PM PDT reply actions 1 recs
Norsk
I just want you to do another post.
Any post.
About ANYTHING.
I feel dirty.
This is wrong.
Q: Is Greg favoring his knee?
Frye: He favors dunking on your head, that's what he favors.
by KP Corleone on May 7, 2009 4:33 PM PDT up reply actions 5 recs
+1
rec
Offseason:
Trade For Mike Conley Jr
Draft Kevin Seraphin/Edwin Jackson
Sign Othello Hunter & DJ Mbenga(Both for big man depth)
by TheGreatDane17 on May 7, 2009 4:45 PM PDT up reply actions
Norsk has led Blazers Edge in the conversion to the "Dark Side"......
and now you look to him to lead you away from Hells own gates and back to Heaven? It is a fool’s paradise!
Blazer's Edge Ambassador to The Dream Shake Blog
LMA Rocks!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I <3 LMA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
LMA - Putting the POWER in POWER FORWARD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
The concussion must have jarred him into "Destroy All Opposition Terminator Mode!" - BlazersOrBust
better yet, why not just sign lebron james.
"There are a few teams you have to watch out for in the fourth quarter."
"Yeah, but Portland definitely is not one of them."
-New Orleans Hornets broadcasters at the end of the third quarter with the Hornets leading 74-59. Portland later ends up winning 97-89.
"They don't mind him shooting that shot at all. Rudy Fernandez is not that great of a 3pt shooter."
-New Orleans Hornets broadcasters right after a Rudy Fernandez missed 3pter. Rudy Fernandez finished the game with three 3pters on six attempts.
by Tofu Anonymous on May 7, 2009 4:32 PM PDT reply actions 1 recs
and chris paul
bayless leaves over my dead body
by thomasikehara on May 7, 2009 4:44 PM PDT up reply actions
What a cheater
And seriously, I would have thought Ben would have argued that Bayless > Kobe.
Too many variables
but whoa, if KP pulls something like that I’ll start the 1st church of Kevin Pritchard
It’s even sicker than my Caron Butler + Washington pick for Travis Outlaw
Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition!
This post...
…could put to “o” back in K*be!
Rec.
this has been a message from: "The People's Alliance to give Greg Oden at Least a Couple of Seasons"
My stock answer to this suggestion is...
If KP ever acquires Bryant, I foresee two possibilities. One, Blazer fans coming face to face with K*be in a Portland uniform would put all of Rip City into shock and we’d simply pass out. Or two, the encounter could create a time paradox, the results of which could cause a chain reaction that would unravel the very fabric of the space time continuum, and destroy the entire universe! Granted, that’s a worse case scenario. The destruction might in fact be very localized, limited to merely our own galaxy.
or this
Dr Ray Stantz: Fire and brimstone coming down from the skies! Rivers and seas boiling!
Dr. Egon Spengler: Forty years of darkness! Earthquakes, volcanoes…
Winston Zeddemore: The dead rising from the grave!
Dr. Peter Venkman: Human sacrifice, dogs and cats living together… mass hysteria!
by two4larue on May 7, 2009 5:05 PM PDT up reply actions 5 recs
I love Bill Murray...
+1 for on e of my all time favorite movie lines.
this has been a message from: "The People's Alliance to give Greg Oden at Least a Couple of Seasons"
What would actually happen:
People would learn to embrace him, and very quickly would be cheering. Many Kobe24 Blazer jerseys would be purchased. The world would go on.
That said, this transaction would obviously never happen, and is merely an exceptional (trollish) hypothetical.
by samuelleejackson on May 7, 2009 5:41 PM PDT up reply actions
I got over Scottie Pippen becoming a Blazer...
I suppose I could get over Kobe Bryant as a Blazer.
Even though our time with Pippen was basically Jordan’s sloppy seconds, and Kobe probably hasn’t too many miles on him left.
But still…
I have not yet begun to defile myself.
Pip was different tho
Pippen never casually shrugged as he single handedly dismantled your team in game one of the finals. Nor did he ever disrespect the team.
We all know of K*be’s taunts vs. the Blazers and blatant disrespect for our team in years past.
Blazers win!
Nope
I could never under any circumstance bring myself to root for Kobe.
by The Most Interesting Man in the World on May 7, 2009 5:05 PM PDT reply actions
Do you work for Columiba?
They are pushing Dos Equis on me so hard I want to kill that old man from the commercials. Sorry to get off topic…
this has been a message from: "The People's Alliance to give Greg Oden at Least a Couple of Seasons"
haha
no, i just saw that commercial and some people were talking about dos equis so i made the name to use for the day. Mostly out of boredom.
by The Most Interesting Man in the World on May 7, 2009 5:16 PM PDT up reply actions
That's funny.
And extremely interesting…
this has been a message from: "The People's Alliance to give Greg Oden at Least a Couple of Seasons"
Keep it.
It’s a cool name.
My favorite teams are the Blazers and any team that is playing the Lakers.
do I just retire "In Walks Rudy" then?
by The Most Interesting Man in the World on May 7, 2009 9:06 PM PDT up reply actions
What the hell is he taking the pageant girls out in a rowboat for anyway?
Brandon Roy: Strengths-remarkably efficient player who appears to effortlessly score and facilitate. Weakness-he’s just a figment of your imagination. - Canis Hoopus
Why?
He hasn’t proven he could win anything without Shaq, I fail to see how that would change with the Blazers. I seriously would just stop watching… I can’t deny kobe’s talent, but also can’t stand his entitlement, his attitude towards his teammates, etc, etc, etc. Kobe also has a TON of miles on his odometer-which I think is really starting to show up-he definitely had a dominant game last night, but I have seen a number of games this year where he has not looked like the Kobe of old.
call me a traitor but I would sign up for this in a second if it meant a Blazer title
by jksnake99 on May 7, 2009 5:07 PM PDT reply actions 2 recs
I would actually be okay with it too.
Which surprises me a little.
Of all the things that can be expressed in the printed word – love, hate, fear, joy – true humor is the one that is the most difficult of all. Sarcasm, for example, is an art of delicate subtlety. Yet too many people wield it as a bulldozer – loud, smelly, ugly, and destructive – and think they are being funny.
I wouldn't care if this actually happened either.
The Blazers would instantly become front-running contenders.
.
front-running being the operative phrase
"its tough to play with one eye, unless you're a pirate." Delonte West
"una canasta a Pau en la cara" Rudy
by Honka Playboy on May 7, 2009 11:02 PM PDT up reply actions
The draft picks we get...
…are beautiful too. “Top five protected” from those two teams means we get the 6th and 7th picks on top of K*be!!
this has been a message from: "The People's Alliance to give Greg Oden at Least a Couple of Seasons"
In a heartbeat.
Seriously, of course we’d do this. I’d say Kobe is an upgrade over Martell and Outlaw. But, only problem is we’re already gonna have LeBron by next year
"There goes Brandon Roy... the best there ever was in this game"
Great post Norsk
Almost Tom like the way you knew you were going to provoke a riot and still sound so reasonable,subtle yet evil,my complements
you heard it here first...NORSK HATES BROY and ALL US BEdgers!!!!!!!!!!!
Go Blazers!!!!!!!!!! Wooooooooooot Wooooooooooooot!!!!!!!!!
well-incited
but he is the devil
"its tough to play with one eye, unless you're a pirate." Delonte West
"una canasta a Pau en la cara" Rudy
You forgot "None of the above" in your poll.
"Aneurysm".
When Outlaw wins a game on a last-second shot, it’s called an "annthefaneurysm". QualityPie
by annthefan on May 7, 2009 5:39 PM PDT reply actions 2 recs
On an off-topic tangent, my favorite dive bar, Saigon Garden, was obliterated at 2:30 a.m. this morning ...
by a drunk driver who crashed her SUV into the joint. There’s a photo of the destruction located in the below link to a newspaper article on the incident, for whatever it’s worth to y’all.
I once worked at the 7-Eleven located right next door to that place, too, but sadly nothing that interesting ever happened when I use to work the overnight shift there.
I meant to put this in the Junk Drawer thread, but I'm an idiot.
Y’know, it’s times like these in which I really wish there was an edit function at SB Nation.
Julie and Kristi on the left hand side...are kinda scary
Go Blazers!!!!!!!!!! Wooooooooooot Wooooooooooooot!!!!!!!!!
at least you prefaced your comment with "off-topic tangent"
you could have gotten away with it…
by The Most Interesting Man in the World on May 7, 2009 5:52 PM PDT up reply actions
you know AK
Matt Drudge started working at 7-11 and now he’s a millionaire.
Am I reading too much into the tea leaves?
I, too, detest Matt Drudge.
I equally despise Arianna Huffington, though.
Then again, I’m neither a conservative nor a liberal.
Well, I’m technically a conservative in the fiscal sense and a liberal in the cultural and classical sense; however, that pretty much pegs me as a modern-day libertarian minarchist.
You know what's awesome about being a libertarian?
Knowing that in a year or two you’ll be able to drink legally.
I've been able to drink legally for a few years.
Within the next few years, though, I hope to say the same thing about smoking weed.
Here's a hypothetical, completely made up question for my fellow Blazer fans (so don't get mad)
If you had a choice between being 100% sure the Blazers would win a title in the next 5 years (but with Kobe on the team), or not winning a title in the next 20 years, which would you take?
i take not winning a title for 20 years...
K*be is gonna be “yeah, that’s right BRoy, you only win a title because of me…”
i can’t live with that…it’s like living with the jailblazers for 20 years and winning 1 title.
k*be sucks.
then on the 21st year mark, my son Mav will lead the Blazers to their first title in almost 50 years.
HOW SWEET IT WILL BE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Go Blazers!!!!!!!!!! Wooooooooooot Wooooooooooooot!!!!!!!!!
by broyposse on May 7, 2009 6:03 PM PDT up reply actions 1 recs
I might even be willing to take Kobe if we weren't guaranteed a championship.
No one is ever guaranteed a championship, but this one move greatly improves our chances. And it’s pretty dang fun to win.
Of all the things that can be expressed in the printed word – love, hate, fear, joy – true humor is the one that is the most difficult of all. Sarcasm, for example, is an art of delicate subtlety. Yet too many people wield it as a bulldozer – loud, smelly, ugly, and destructive – and think they are being funny.
I'd rather lose the next 20 years.
I will never, ever cheer for that man.
by Bskey on May 7, 2009 8:30 PM PDT up reply actions 1 recs
You are a Blazer fan because you hate Kobe Bryant? That's pretty hardcore...
"A bizarre and extremely rare hybrid Blazer/Laker fan, Timbo has always struggled to contain the Beast Within, like Dr. Jekyll, Bruce Banner, or Ted Kennedy." — Miled Animal
I LOVE the Blazers right now
and I’ve never seen them win a title… I can wait. I want to enjoy it when it happens, not feel like we sold out to get it.
by The Most Interesting Man in the World on May 8, 2009 7:33 AM PDT up reply actions
Why would the Grizzlies and the Thunder give us high draft picks for Outlaw and Webster.
This makes no sense and no I will never cheer for Kobe
Red Hot and Rolling
We can trade one to Atlanta. Or just waive Travis and get nothing back. These are all minor details in KP's big plan of things.
Atlanta wouldn't take Outlaw or Webster.
They need veterans, not more young guns
Blazers+Blazersedge=Mind Blown
by TappedPotential on May 7, 2009 7:05 PM PDT up reply actions
and another thing....
I’d rather see #25 retired in honor of Kersey before I’d see it retired for Trout… No offense to Trout but Kersey deserves it more at this point
Blazers win!
my thoughts
exactly…
someone should ask Jerome how he feels when he watches Outlaw wearing “his” #25 and making the same fundamental errors, over and over
Jack Osbourne
He was baked – Elgin
Brandon Roy: Strengths-remarkably efficient player who appears to effortlessly score and facilitate. Weakness-he’s just a figment of your imagination. - Canis Hoopus
I can't see a logical argument against doing this if it were possible.
Emotional, yes, but logical? Anyone have any ideas? Otherwise, I’m on board with it.
Of all the things that can be expressed in the printed word – love, hate, fear, joy – true humor is the one that is the most difficult of all. Sarcasm, for example, is an art of delicate subtlety. Yet too many people wield it as a bulldozer – loud, smelly, ugly, and destructive – and think they are being funny.
All right, I'm going to preface this following comment with a few things.
1. I’m apathetic toward Kobe Bryant — which puts me in a vast minority —since I neither like nor dislike him.
2. The likelihood that Bryant will ever play for the Portland Trail Blazers is next to nil and, therefore, shouldn’t be discussed as a realistic possibility.
3. I’m a Seattle Mariners and Seattle Seahawks fan first and foremost, with the Trail Blazers being a distant third in my personal ranking of favorite professional sports team.
Now, with that out of the way, anyone who wouldn’t root for the Trail Blazers if Kobe Bryant was on the roster isn’t a true fan of the team. Rather, you’re bandwagon, casual fans who care more about the players on the team instead of the franchise itself. That, in my opinion, is a backward mindset.
I’m sure if I went up to a diehard Los Angeles Clippers fan that they’d rant endlessly about the organization’s sleazy cheapskate of an owner (i.e., Donald Sterling), abject failure of a GM/coach (i.e., Mike Dunleavy, Sr.), and awful collection of players (i.e., Zach Randolph, Baron Davis, Ricky Davis, et al.). Yet, regadless of those dire straits, I bet they still bleed red, white, and blue with all their heart and don’t think twice about it.
by AK1984 on May 7, 2009 7:00 PM PDT reply actions 3 recs
If Hitler was an American President, would you still
support the US Government?
Best of Senator Clay Davis: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TI4-QyAzY64&feature=related
If Kobe was a Blazer, how could we "remove him" - not support the team? then would we still be true fans?
When you say true fans care more about the team than the players, what do you think make up the team? Everything, of course, from the Rose Garden to the uniform to the bumperstickers, from the owner to the broadcasters to the concession guy, but mostly it is the players on the court. There are reasons people don’t like Kobe Bryant, both for the pain he inflicted on the franchise and the way he conducts himself. They would make it difficult to support him. So I’m a casual, bandwagon fan. But I’m not getting on Kobe’s bandwagon.
We lived with Whitsitt, and it scarred a lot of us (I wanted to say “made us whitsick” – there I did). Would you turn out to see Ruben Patterson in a championship parade?
And if they acquire Mike Miller, I’ll be collecting donations to have my 28 year-old pinwheel tattoo, that I had refreshed for the 3rd time one year ago, scrubbed from my shoulder. Kidding! Tat removal hurts
"its tough to play with one eye, unless you're a pirate." Delonte West
"una canasta a Pau en la cara" Rudy
by Honka Playboy on May 7, 2009 10:38 PM PDT up reply actions
For starters, the comparison of Kobe Bryant to Adolf Hilter was hyperbole by cloudydays.
I, however, would compare Bryant ever playing with the Portland Trail Blazers to my living in a nation wherein I’ve never successfully voted a president into office.
In 2004, I happily voted for Libertarian Party nominee Michael Badnarik. In 2008, I cast my vote for the lesser of many evils, Independent candidate Ralph Nader, who was crushed for the 5th time in the past 16 years. Thus, so far throughout my fairly short history as an American citizen of voting age, my choices have basically meant nothing in the grand scheme of things.
Yet, regardless of the fact that my guy didn’t win the election, I still appreciate the United States of America as my native homeland and place of residence. That, in essence, is how I’d feel if Bryant was on the Trail Blazers.
I'd compare it to a Perfectly fit doctor who caught HIV
Perfectly healthy and beautiful with the body the good creator seen fit to give him, a few bad choices, and sure, he’ll live, may even be sucessful, but he knows inside that there is a beast that will eventually tear him apart and bring him down to his knees.
While we may never know the bittersweetness of being brought to our knees, we will know the sickenning feeling of resorting to a mesure that otherwise may have not been nescessary, we’ll know that the jears and snickers of the L.A. fanbase not to mention the rest of the nations, but mostly L.A.s fan base screaming that we couldn’t have done it without thier golden boy. We’ll feel it, we’ll live it, and we’ll never live it down.
If a championships all we were worried about we’d be yankees fans.
Honorable Lunchpail, Hardhats, Lumberjacks, and hicks we all came.
Let’s not become what we always despised. ….
Californians.
The Faith don't panic, the faith freaks out burns out farms and torchs small villages in the name of The Faith.
by faith on May 8, 2009 12:23 AM PDT up reply actions 5 recs
You get the first "rec" I've ever issued
congratulations
Card carrying member of Blazermaniacs against K*be
commin from you that means alot to me....
I’ve always respected the one called “two4larue” :)
The Faith don't panic, the faith freaks out burns out farms and torchs small villages in the name of The Faith.
that's poorly phrased
but you get the idea
Best of Senator Clay Davis: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TI4-QyAzY64&feature=related
yep
it sounded good when i thought of it. but once i posted it i read it again it didn’t make much sense
Best of Senator Clay Davis: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TI4-QyAzY64&feature=related
head over to ClippersBlog and count all the Clips fans on your toes
"its tough to play with one eye, unless you're a pirate." Delonte West
"una canasta a Pau en la cara" Rudy
by Honka Playboy on May 7, 2009 10:13 PM PDT up reply actions
18 recs for the idea of signing Kobe?!!?!?!
If Norsk said, “Our new starting PF: Shav Randolph” I’m now one hundred percent positive he’d somehow get over 10 recs for it.
"seriously, i didn’t think this would happen, ever, but i got a girlfriend" -- Blazermaniac Andy
PS--i still love you anyway Norsk
barely though. this is really stretching our relationship.
"seriously, i didn’t think this would happen, ever, but i got a girlfriend" -- Blazermaniac Andy
And they would be more deserved than these recs
Shav >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> Kobe
Q: Is Greg favoring his knee?
Frye: He favors dunking on your head, that's what he favors.
THIS IS SO STUPID
WHY WOULD I WANT THE BEST PLAYER SINCE MICHAEL JORDAN ON MY TEAM? YOU THINK I WANT THE BLAZERS TO WIN A TON MORE GAMES? YOU’RE WRONG.
Oh wait. I’d love if Kobe came to Portland, it would be the most unfair team in the history of basketball.
Life is hilarious.
by SolGoode on May 7, 2009 8:35 PM PDT reply actions 1 recs
It should be obvious to even the most casual observer
That supertanker size egos like Kobe and Lebron have no interest in playing in a small market,podunk town like portland
by southern oregon on May 7, 2009 9:03 PM PDT reply actions 1 recs
but portland does have nike...
"There are a few teams you have to watch out for in the fourth quarter."
"Yeah, but Portland definitely is not one of them."
-New Orleans Hornets broadcasters at the end of the third quarter with the Hornets leading 74-59. Portland later ends up winning 97-89.
"They don't mind him shooting that shot at all. Rudy Fernandez is not that great of a 3pt shooter."
-New Orleans Hornets broadcasters right after a Rudy Fernandez missed 3pter. Rudy Fernandez finished the game with three 3pters on six attempts.
by Tofu Anonymous on May 7, 2009 9:32 PM PDT up reply actions
and nike has the world...
"There are a few teams you have to watch out for in the fourth quarter."
"Yeah, but Portland definitely is not one of them."
-New Orleans Hornets broadcasters at the end of the third quarter with the Hornets leading 74-59. Portland later ends up winning 97-89.
"They don't mind him shooting that shot at all. Rudy Fernandez is not that great of a 3pt shooter."
-New Orleans Hornets broadcasters right after a Rudy Fernandez missed 3pter. Rudy Fernandez finished the game with three 3pters on six attempts.
by Tofu Anonymous on May 7, 2009 9:32 PM PDT up reply actions
BING-BING-BING-BING-BING!!! WE HAVE A WINNER!!!
It should be obvious to even the most casual observer
That supertanker size egos like Kobe and Lebron have no interest in playing in a small market,podunk town like portland
"A bizarre and extremely rare hybrid Blazer/Laker fan, Timbo has always struggled to contain the Beast Within, like Dr. Jekyll, Bruce Banner, or Ted Kennedy." — Miled Animal
Bear in mind that I live in a town so podunk that Portland is the metropolis to us...
You are not going to get a free agent superstar to come here to play. Blazer stars have to be developed internally unless you want to make a Whitsett joke out of things by overpaying for mediocrity.
"A bizarre and extremely rare hybrid Blazer/Laker fan, Timbo has always struggled to contain the Beast Within, like Dr. Jekyll, Bruce Banner, or Ted Kennedy." — Miled Animal
I figured it out!
Those theories about norsktroll being KP? Is he testing the waters? Don’t drink the kool-aid!
COMCAST SUCKS!!
"Let's win the playoffs!!!!!"- Rudy Fernandez
You wrong me greatly
and it hurts.
Like most sane Blazer fans I do despise the L*kers to the core of my being. (And if you think I have to INSTILL that in people, well…I don’t know if I can help you. Good, old-fashioned L*ker despising was around long before I put one finger to a keyboard and will be a Blazer fan trait long after I’m dead and gone.) However, if you listened to the podcast today you know we talked about the team’s needs which included a scorer, a defender, veterans, and people with that unstoppable championship will and grit. Go ahead, ask me if I’d take Kobe on this team for Travis and Martell. Ask me!
In a heartbeat I’d do it.
Also you don’t have to trade Travis. You can just renounce him if you’re sure Kobe will be amenable to the offer. And you don’t need first round picks back for Martell. Don’t need ‘em. You could take junk. You could throw OUR first round pick in with Martell to get somebody to bite. But you really don’t even have to do that. You can keep Martell. Just don’t pick up the options on Blake and Travis and don’t tender an offer to Channing Frye. If Miles is off the books there’s your $20 million right there. Who cares if we’re short at PG and back-up forward? You can get plenty of guys at mid-level range who could play alongside and behind a lineup including Roy, Rudy, Kobe, LaMarcus, Greg, and Joel.
Of course Kobe would never, ever come here. But if he would, sign me up yesterday.
—Dave
by Dave on May 7, 2009 9:54 PM PDT reply actions 4 recs
Once Kobe puts on red and black
he’s not a L*ker anymore, is he? Now, if he wants to win something on Portland’s floor while wearing purple and gold I’m all against that. That’s just gross.
Besides, it should be a practical matter even for those who have qualms about Bryant. If there were any way the scenario that Norsk described would work Pritchard, Penn, and Allen WOULD do it. There’s zero question about that. They’d trip all over themselves trying to get to the signing pen fastest. So as long as you’re going to speculate the scenario is possible (it isn’t, I don’t think) then you might as well accept it happening.
—Dave
Seriously, every team able to create enough cap space in 2009 would scramble to acquire Kobe if he hits free agency
The market in 2010 with LeBron, Wade, Bosh, etc. could be much more crowded with teams having space, and those players are just as likely to extend with the teams where they are.
Kobe has all the cards to determine when he wants his contract to end making him an unrestricted free agent:
- An early termination option now in 2009
- A player option for the 2010/11 season, ending his contract in the “free agent sweepstakes of 2010 summer”
- A no-trade clause without his agreement on a contract that regularly ends in the summer of 2011
For his last big contract he can chose if he wants to retire a Laker, end with the Bulls, end with the Knicks, end with LeBron, or end wherever he wants that gives him the best option to retire on top.
Who went after him the last time he was shopping?
I remember the Clippers. Anyone else?
"its tough to play with one eye, unless you're a pirate." Delonte West
"una canasta a Pau en la cara" Rudy
by Honka Playboy on May 7, 2009 11:03 PM PDT up reply actions
Yeah, I remember Chicago those trade rumors
K*be was whining that Cup-check wasn’t doing “enough” to improve the L*A roster, (summer/fall 2008, IIRC)
Let the Blazers win it all without Bryant, so there are no morning-after regrets
a Kings fan just brought me to my senses...
All things considered, I will like any player that KP brings in.
by The Most Interesting Man in the World on May 7, 2009 10:19 PM PDT reply actions
So we can hear from all of the L*ker fans about how we never would have won a championship without Kobe?
No thank you. They can keep that whiny prima donna in LA LA land where he fits in perfectly.
Maybe basketball just isn't your game. I know, let's have a spelling contest.
I liked championships, and being able to say the team I support is the best...
and I was only eleven when the Blazers won, but I have just as many good feelings about many of the teams before and after that one. The only difficulties I have had supporting the team were when forced to justify in my mind liking, cheering, pulling for Woods, Randolph, Wells, the surly Strickland, the disinterested Detlef Schrempf, the… the… the whatever Ruben Patterson was. JR Rider. JR Rider. JR Rider.
My hope for Kobe is that he gets bounced out of the playoffs this year enjoys his last couple years like Michael Jordan and Karl Malone enjoyed theirs.
I’ve lived without championships, but I’ve enjoyed cheering for a team full of people I like the last two years.
"its tough to play with one eye, unless you're a pirate." Delonte West
"una canasta a Pau en la cara" Rudy
"I like championships" - sorry - late here
"its tough to play with one eye, unless you're a pirate." Delonte West
"una canasta a Pau en la cara" Rudy
by Honka Playboy on May 7, 2009 11:04 PM PDT up reply actions
I've never had a problem with Kobe. I actually like him.
Notable Lakers I’ve never liked:
a. Rick Fox
b. Lamar Odom
c. Byron Scott
d. Magic’s Late Show
e. Did i mention Rick Fox?
Roy Tribute
Treat people well because Karma can hit you at any second.
How can you possibly like Kurt Rambis
That’s Unpossible
formerly fromagnon... I remember back in the day... way back before you young cats were around, back when I ruled the jersey contest... back when it meant something... back when hip-hop was alive
by The Arkitect on May 8, 2009 11:35 AM PDT up reply actions
Well done.
You figured out the way to make me quit the Blazers.
I’d take Amar’e for LMA over this. And I would never do that.
Kobe wants the ball. Wait, we already have people on our team who want the ball.
Kobe wants to be the man. We’ve already got our leader.
Kobe’s wife Vanessa would divorce Kobe for not living in LA.
Kobe’s arrogant attitude might have an impression on the kids. Wait, as soon as we don’t win a championship they will have all learned from the best that you fix that be demanding a trade.
BlazerFan1 would kill Paul Allen for putting her man on the bench (and you for suggesting it).
I’d rather have Bill Laimbeer on our team.
This is the worst idea I’ve ever heard on Blazers Edge. But I’m on to you Norsktroll. You’ve been getting edgier and edgier, trying to make the most controversial posts you can, while staying inbounds, in the past month or so. Looks like you topped them all.
This is.....disgusting.
just….pathetic really.
We spend the good portion of the last 10 years cursing his name, then we win a few games, and now, ya’ll are ready to not only wash his shorts, but also spray his jock strap with cologne for his pre game warm ups……
I curse thee as I used to respect thee….. now I feel lost and abandoned by kinship that I knew to be true.
I loath the idea, and hope for the rise of The Trailblazers to crush this ninny, sissy, poor example of how to treat ones wife, can’t win a championship without shaq, elbower of kristie, defiler of the game, traitorous swine, asterisk to the championships he did win wearer, L.Aian into the ground that I’m not sure he came.
Dam the man and the white horse he rode in on.
If cursed to another 50 years without a championship nor a second seed playoff birth…..I’ll take it happily before I willingly accept a K*be Pee Ant Bryant on this team.
Championships be damned….this is not the way.
The Faith don't panic, the faith freaks out burns out farms and torchs small villages in the name of The Faith.
by faith on May 7, 2009 11:53 PM PDT reply actions 4 recs
AMEN SISTER!
"CRUSH YOUR ENEMIES, SEE THEM DRIVEN BEFORE YOU, AND HEAR THE LAMENTATION OF THEIR WOMEN." CONAN
by SELFDESTRUCTABLE on May 8, 2009 12:10 AM PDT up reply actions
I would blow up
My hate for kobe and my love for the blazers would battle inside me and cause me to explode
What I currently hate the most about LA is kobefan
The last thing I want is to share the rose garden with a bunch of pathetic Kobe worshippers chanting MVP after every superstar foul call he gets.
Norsk
it looks like the wheels have officially fallen off your wagon. The devilry that was the 2000-2004 Fker machine was basically a two headed monster, Kbe and Shaq. Although I hate shaq more than kobe (big pompous flatulent windbag that shaq is), shaq’s best days are behind him. There is no retribution to be brought on O’neal as beating his teams now would mean nothing to him or us. By circumstance, however, kobe has become the figurehead of the Fkers, and it is in his destruction that we, as blazer fans, finally purge from ourselves the bitterness of defeat so many times at the hands of the purple and gold. We want those guys to hate us like we hate them. We want them to curse the name of Brandon Roy and his future game winning shots against the fkers. It is against Kobe and the Lakers that Brandon’s greatness will be measured. “Beat LA” would lose its meaning a little if Kobe was dressed in scarlet and black. No, the sense of identity forged by this team, forged by brandon’s emergence would be catastrophically altered if kobe became a blazer.
"B-Roy is the best shooting guard I have played against"
-Ron Artest
If Artest can say it, so can I. Broy>Kobe.
No
If we won the title with kobe on our team, I would climb the rafters myself and burn it.
"The brownies,'' Fernandez said after the game. "The brownies are good for me to make three-points.''
by Sabonis4Ever on May 8, 2009 2:39 AM PDT reply actions 2 recs
Curse You!
For the headline that should of never been written.
For the idea that should of never been expressed.
For the photo of Kobe and Brandon that needs to be destroyed.
PLEASE, please, leave that cake out in the rain, and NEVER never have that recipee again.
"Mother Nature started this fight, I think it's about time we ended it!"
Bad, bad Norsktroll
Seriously, even if it happened and WORKED (i.e., brought the Blazers a championship or two), I abhor the concept. The fun of fandom is having your team BEAT guys like Kobe Bryant.
I want the Blazers to dash Bryant’s dreams; I want the Blazers to inhabit Bryant’s nightmares.
"We don't back down to nobody." --Joel Przybilla
I have spent the last 10 years rooting AGAINST Kobe
And consider him the most nauseatingly disingenuous character in the NBA. Somehow I’m supposed to forget that the second he signs with the Blazers?
Sorry, but a parade would be substantially less fun with him on one of the floats. Seeing his face on a season ticket renewal packet would make me think twice.
It would be like buying a car
from a guy that slept with your wife, just because he has the lowest price. If your goal is to get the best price, it makes sense. But you also need to live with yourself.
Shudder
Reading this made me feel 30 times dirtier than I did after Ben or Dave’s (can’t remember who posted it and am too lazy to look back) article about signing Shaq. And I agree with Badalona Baddie that the worst part of this would be the Kobe fans. I’ll take a team of 12 Shavs over having Bryant.
that this got 22 recs only shows that the bedge has jumped the shark.
DEATH TO THE LAKERS, NOT BECAUSE THEY’RE THE LAKERS, BUT BECAUSE KOBE PLAYS THERE.
What happened to all the realistic trade posts?
by StocktonNEP on May 8, 2009 12:48 PM PDT reply actions 3 recs
"Just Win Baby!"
Tony Luftman Is an Animatronic Robot created by Cyberdyne Industries for the purpose of the destruction of the entire human race, no one shall be spared.
this will never happen
I can’t even see this in fantasy land.
who cares if he’s from the la lakers .. its pretty stupid how so many people say “but he’s evill” or “this makes me feel dirty” .. everybody would agree that this makes our team better if it happens . not trading for a player because he’s killed us in the past would be a bad move
by Young, Fly, and Fresh on May 8, 2009 3:05 PM PDT reply actions
Well, Norskie must have given up hope in his Dallas Mavericks or something — he clearly has too much time on his hands with this one...
Kobe stays in LA to the end of his career, just like LeBron stays in Cleveland to the end of his career, just like Wade stays in Miami…
Some things just are the way they are, y’know?
If there’s one Laker that I’d like to see on the Blazers next year or soon after, it is 7’0" rucker DJ DNP-CD Mbenga.
And get me Brandon Bass, too.
Then I promise to shut up and be a good boy.
"A bizarre and extremely rare hybrid Blazer/Laker fan, Timbo has always struggled to contain the Beast Within, like Dr. Jekyll, Bruce Banner, or Ted Kennedy." — Miled Animal
timbo, you want DeJuan Blair
He would be your favorite Blazer in a landslide… all he does is ruck ’n rebound.
draft dejuan blair
I don't watch college hoops so I will have to take your word for it.
I want Brockman from the Huskies for one.
Brandon Bass of the Mavs is my dream candidate, but he needs to score less in the playoffs, or his price will go up too much…
"A bizarre and extremely rare hybrid Blazer/Laker fan, Timbo has always struggled to contain the Beast Within, like Dr. Jekyll, Bruce Banner, or Ted Kennedy." — Miled Animal
Norks I had the same idea like a year ago.
I made a fan post about it here, and there were different opinions mostly fans did not want him. But I said that L.A. should not win the title in 2009, and Kobe can opt out. I also talked about how Kobe praised Nate, and there were some instances where Kobe and Nate, or Kobe and KP were in the same sentence. Also I thought that Miles would stay of Blazers cap at that time. Think about it its better for hm to opt out this summer than next cuz there will be less competition this summer than next LeBron, Wade, Bosh)
And Oden, once again, is a rookie, so non-stop fast break basketball is like fast-forwarding a song while he's trying to learn the lyrics.
Norsktroll. Good idea.
I’ve seen this guy play and he is good. Just plays for a crappy team in a crappy city. Good coach, though. What do you think the realities of this happening are? Or am I missing the point/joke?
"If you're going to be crazy, you have to get paid for it or else you're going to be locked up."
A bit of both
I’m mocking a bit the hate for the L*kers even the very rational Dave likes to promote, and the many trading scrubs for stars ideas.
But it’s not impossible that Kobe will opt out and hit the market before his contract is up in 2011, though that scenario was much more pressing for the LA front office before the Gasol trade. And while the most likely outcome as timbo has said is that he will simply re-sign with the Lakers we are kidding ourselves if we think KP would say categorically no to get in line with every other GM who can create cap space to at least give it a try. Kobe holds all the cards where he wants to end his career, and when he wants to sign that last big deal.
With his no-trade clause and these options to end his deal in 2009 or 2010 Kobe has all the cards to determine when and where he wants to go.
Jeez.
Maybe you could work in a front office. You’ve got the contract stuff down. I like the tounge-in-cheek while still-maybe-possible angle. Things like that are sometimes more likely to happen like the “done deals”. Why do so many people in here think Kirk Hinrich is the best point guard for the Blazers? I don’t dislike the guy, but I’m not wetting the sheets over him either.
"The Edge... there is no honest way to explain it because the only people who really know where it is are the ones who have gone over."
Is this Basketball we're talking about
or He-man battling Skeletor. Are we the young, pure, underdog rebel alliance fighting against the evil Darth Vadar or what?
I like basketball. I want the team I like, the Blazers, to beat the other teams. True, I don’t like Kobe as a person, but I also don’t hate him and i never got that. There are people out there who actually kill, steal, and beat people smaller than them. There is the whole rape thing, but I am just not sure that happened. I don’t know. If I knew it did I would get it. Until then he is just some guy who is really good at basketball, and sounds like an arrogant jerk. There are arrogant jerks on Blazersedge, I don’t hate them.
I don’t want Kobe to join the Blazers, but it sure would be fun to watch them crush everbody. I guess I don’t have strong feelings if it happens or not. I know somebody will say that means I’m not a true Blazer fan, but I would disagree. I don’t think you have to hate Kobe to love the Blazers. If that were true, and we did sign Kobe, that would mean that KP was not a true Blazer fan. I can’t believe that. I like this post, just because everyone gets so riled up about it.
You never got how people can hate other people.
Wow. just compare your feelings towards Canzano, to other fans feelings towards Kobe. I don’t hate the guy myself. I don’t even know if I hate anybody now. Maybe a few kind of people.
And Oden, once again, is a rookie, so non-stop fast break basketball is like fast-forwarding a song while he's trying to learn the lyrics.
twggyy maybe Im giving you a hard time. Don't take it personally.
And Oden, once again, is a rookie, so non-stop fast break basketball is like fast-forwarding a song while he's trying to learn the lyrics.
I don't
Laugh! I like how you assume I hate Canzano! A pretty safe bet. I overeacted. I was just taken aback at the venom towards Kobe, but this is a sports blog. Hate away!
And i do hate people, just not Basketball players.
You never got how to hate people?
Wow. I don’t know what you call your feelings towards Canzano.
And Oden, once again, is a rookie, so non-stop fast break basketball is like fast-forwarding a song while he's trying to learn the lyrics.
The ABC's of hatred . . .
A. This was the worst post/poll EVER !!!!
B. What makes _ _ _ think that the fine writer of this blog
instilled the hatred of that player or team. It was in existance
Loooooooooooooooong before I came to this site in 2006.
C. Generation X’ers like yourself are maybe late 20’- early 30’s
and have no idea what a REAL Blazermaniac thinks or why ?
When you hit 20 years as a fan of one team, you start to get a
little understanding. When you hit 35 years you can have some
mastery of the nuances. _ _ _ sir have neither.
D. REAL Blazer fans hate the team formerly from Minneapolis and the
rapist. They don’t care how talented he might be, or even mention how
he might/could come here. They understand and leave the whole subject off
any Blazer site.
E. The whole point from a practical standpoint is set. He’s a SELFISH, WHINING
BALLHOG ! The Blazers have a great group of young players, without egos, who
are willing to share the ball & work together to acheive something special.
I predicted 55-27 many times before the season, primarilly because of those
factors. (As well as very good talent) Don’t underestimate the value of team
chemistry !
F. The Blazers have Leaders ! Nate, BRoy & Smooth. The rest of the team has decided
to join them in leadership or follow, and it’s working. You don’t get better by
adding disruptive forces to a great team.
G. Never ever post anything like this again. Just having to contemplate this for a few
seconds makes all of us Blazermaniacs sick to our stomach !!!!!!
GO BLAZERS !!!!
It's GO time !
I thought about flagging this. but I already flagged the entire thread so....yeah....just thought I'd say that :)
just seems too mean. ;) giggle (imagine that, me…..feeling obligated to help someone….what is this board doing to me)
The Faith don't panic, the faith freaks out burns out farms and torchs small villages in the name of The Faith.
Lame. Hell no.
He’s the best or second-best basketball player in the world, and it would be funny to hear what the Laker trolls have to say about it, but no. Kobe’s a Laker.
I would have to wrap myself in a blazer banner
and commit hari-kari if the ultimate F@ker comes to Portland. KP will be burned at the stake for Heresy! The Rose Garden will have to be burned for purification purposes after K@be is retired..
Simply put… NO NO NO NO NO NO NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Just like Vancouver is considered Portland North. Portland would be called LA north… UGH!
Killer instinct. When you have your opponent down, you do not help them up. You step on their throat!!!!!!
by Misplaced Blazermaniac on May 12, 2009 2:43 PM PDT reply actions
This is a ridiculous post
It will never happen. Ill put my life on it.
Let me give you some advice, save some time and stop making ridiculous posts

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