The True Trouble with Travis
by EngineerScotty on May 14, 2009 10:28 AM PDT
Email
PrintOver on the main page, the subject of today's player review is a bit of a controversial fellow--one Travis Outlaw. The posting on the main page is full of discussion of basketball trivia--points, rebounds, PER, BBIQ, and for some, the only statistic that matters--#25. We won't talk about any of that boring stuff in the sidebar.
For you see, the reason that Travis isn't the complete player we all would love to see--Kevin Durant with the ball, Rodman on the blocks, Artest on D, and Chris Dudley off the court--doesn't have anything to do with statistics. Or those intangible intangibles, like heart, toughness, or chutzpah.
No, the True Trouble with Travis is--his nickname sucks.
Look at the Blazers LaMarcus is the L-Train (we won't print his other nickname)--a nickname that conveys power, strength, and speed--and evokes memories of one of the league's all-time greats, Artis Gilmore.
Joel is the Vanilla Gorilla. No, not this gorilla---
This one.
as Prz swats down enemy shots like King Kong swats down airplanes.
Nicolas Batum doesn't need a nicname; just say BA-TUUUUUUUM! and everyone in the room knows who you are talking about. But I still like Sir Nicolas, even though others think I've lost my head.
Brandon Roy is, of course, the Natural.
While suggesting transcendent greatness, which is the epitome of Roy, that nickname troubles me somewhat--ain't it a movie about a jock who died? If I were Bill Simmons, I'd interject with three paragraphs about bawling my head off while watching Brian's Song, but I'm not, so I won't. Needless to say, we don't want them to make a movie called Brandon's Song. Ever.
Steve Blake doesn't really have a nickname (besides silly racial taunts like "snowflake"), but he doesn't even look like a basketball player. He looks like he should be lead vocalist for an emo band, singing songs about how nobody respects him and he has to constantly prove himself to the world. But still--after Maryland won the NCAA title way back when, who would have predicted that Blake and not Juan Dixon would have been the guy who lasted the longest in the NBA?
Turning to the bench: Greg Oden's name IS a nickname. Oden is one vowel different from Odin, the Norse god of war. Also called Wotan, this almighty diety has a day of the week--Wednesday--named after him.
Channing Frye has an apt nickname--the Buffet of Goodness. A contradiction in terms--buffets usually have stale food that isn't the right temperature--it nonetheless captures the essence that is Channing Would-You-Like-Fryes-With-That.
Sergio and Rudy are jointly known by the nickname The Spanish Armada. Why they like this name, I'm not sure--we all know what happened to the real Armada:
I prefer the nickname "Spanish Inquisition" myself--a name nobody expects--but it isn't up to me.
Jerryd Bayless is, of course, Rex. Between the intense moods and the too-short-to-brush-my-own-teeth arms, has there ever been a more appropriate nickname bestowed upon a rookie?
Even the scrubs have cool nicknames. Raef LaFrentz, who didn't play a minute, was nonetheless known as the RLEC, or simply as The Contract.
In the business sense, kind of boring--but if you view the phrase "Expiring Contract" through a Sopranos lens, it takes on a whole new meaning.
Michael Ruffin is another guy who needs no nickname, though a certain bird which rhymes with his last name seems kind of appropriate.
And Shavlik Randolph evokes memories of Rocky, even the only thing the two of them have in common is being white guys from Philly who say stupid things. (And Rocky has an excuse; a Dook grad like Shavlik oughtta know better).
Even Nate has a cool nickname.
Somehow I can picture Nate getting into Channing's face, lecturing him on the subject of golf balls and garden hoses--but I digress.
But what about Travis? His nickname, of course, is Trout.
What sort of nickname is that? Trouts are inoffensive fish which are tasty when rolled in cornmeal and deep-fried.
I know Travis likes to fish and all, and its a cute little pun on his name--but come ON! If we're gonna name a guy after a fish, at least call him Barracuda or something like that.
You can eat a trout--but a barracuda will eat you, given the chance. See the difference? Plus with barracuda, the choice of theme song becomes obvious. Dunh-da-da Dunh-da-da Dunh-da-da Dunh-da-da Dunh! DUNH! DUNH! DUNH!
While the name "barracuda" is my humble suggestion, the choice is ultimately up to you, BEdgers. A new nickname is certain to raise Outlaw's PER by a few points, so it's time to get creative, people!
Kevin Pritchard is counting on you.
104 comments
|
26 recs |
Do you like this story?
Comments
A minor point of detail (warning, spoilers)
Not sure about the book, but in the movie, the Natural (Roy) did not die. He ended up in the hospital a couple times but that’s to be expected for someone who walked around with a bullet encased in his sternum for 20 years. Point being, he’s a model of toughness and longevity. In the last scene of the movie he’s shown playing catch with the son he never knew he had. Otherwise great post. My recommendation would be “Josie Wales”.
In the book...
The Natural strikes out his last at bat (instead of hitting the homer into the lights) and disappears forever….
"You said that I was right... you're right, I know that I was"
Very Steinbeckish
Man, what was up with those dudes during the Great Depression? They all seemed really bummed out.
I know less than half of you half as well as I should like, and I like less than half of you half as well as you deserve.
by haildablazer on May 14, 2009 4:05 PM PDT up reply actions
Very nice
I’ve always hated the nickname Trout. My friends and I call him “The Law,” even though it doesn’t make a lot of sense. One rec for you and your alliterative title.
Things happen for a reason they say, but I say there's a reason things happen.
I like Trout or Supatrout if he is in top form. But maybe Archerfish would work with his jump shooting
Archerfish bleong to the family of Toxotidae. So we could also use Tox as an abbreviation that nobody outside would get :) Tox and Rex entering the court. And all opposing fans are just like “huh?!”
"Officiating has to be a science, not an art" - Rick Carlisle
If a guy in the Blazers is named "Tox"
everyone will be wondering when he enters rehab.
I have not yet begun to defile myself.
by EngineerScotty on May 14, 2009 10:59 AM PDT up reply actions
Maybe if the Birdman to Portland
fantasies come true…oh wait is that lacking in compassion? whoops. -27 recs headed my way :(
"Death is not final," Gita says. "If any man thinks that he slays, and if another thinks that he is slain, neither knows the truth. The Eternal in man cannot kill: the Eternal in man cannot die. The soul in man is neither born nor does it die. Weapons cannot cut it; fire cannot burn it; water cannot drown it.
The Bhagavad Gita
lmao...raise his per....
thats so funny……
cough, k….seriously. travis OUTLAW…. couldn’t we refer to him as a bandit type fellow…
why a fish? I mean I know he likes chewin on straw and chillin on the muddy banks of some pond in ol miss but…. a fish? why?
The Faith don't panic, the faith freaks out burns out farms and torchs small villages in the name of The Faith.
I know. Is it just that it's too easy?
I don’t see how this is continuously overlooked. Outlaw is the awesomest nickname on its own.
Good point... I never liked "Trout"...
Wasn’t sure if it was TRavisOUTlaw… or maybe just “fish face”… not really complimentary. Kinda weak, in any case. Don’t know if he has his own nickname among friends.
tell me you see the connection with his name and nickname... please...
TRavis OUTlaw
TROUT
I get it.
always did I always thought it was kinda lame….all fine and dandy for when he was el rookie-oso…
but he’s Super vet now so why not somethin that he can intro himself as to his lady friends…cummon…
“hey there girl, I’m trout”…. no wonder why he’s not married.
The Faith don't panic, the faith freaks out burns out farms and torchs small villages in the name of The Faith.
His nickname should be Bo.
I like the whole team.
by RenoBlazerFan on May 14, 2009 11:34 AM PDT reply actions 1 recs
to everyone other than us
it already is man.. it already is
by GreatOden'sRaven on May 14, 2009 1:17 PM PDT up reply actions
How about "bait"?
as in trade.
My favorite teams are the Blazers and any team that is playing the Lakers.
by OCBlazerFan1 on May 14, 2009 11:35 AM PDT reply actions 3 recs
Sorry #25 fans.
Just a joke.
My favorite teams are the Blazers and any team that is playing the Lakers.
by OCBlazerFan1 on May 14, 2009 11:36 AM PDT up reply actions 1 recs
OCLakerFan1!
Them is fightin’ words!!
:-)
My favorite teams are the Blazers and any team that is playing the Lakers.
by OCBlazerFan1 on May 15, 2009 11:33 AM PDT up reply actions
or two face trout
cause again its a coin flip
"Howard, he know me" Rudy
by phillyduck23 on May 14, 2009 11:42 AM PDT up reply actions
how about this trout instead
formerly fromagnon... I remember back in the day... way back before you young cats were around, back when I ruled the jersey contest... back when it meant something... back when hip-hop was alive
Angry Trout
formerly fromagnon... I remember back in the day... way back before you young cats were around, back when I ruled the jersey contest... back when it meant something... back when hip-hop was alive
by The Arkitect on May 14, 2009 11:52 AM PDT up reply actions
If he was overweight
he could be The Angry Whopper. – Elgin
VENTURA: It's drowning. It gives you the complete sensation that you are drowning. It is no good, because you -- I'll put it to you this way, you give me a waterboard, Dick Cheney and one hour, and I'll have him confess to the Sharon Tate murders.
looks like a dolly varden... (sp?)
The Faith don't panic, the faith freaks out burns out farms and torchs small villages in the name of The Faith.
The nickname is a lame for sure
They should just leave it at Outlaw. I mean how can you have a bad nickname if your last name is Outlaw. Definetly has the best music after he scores on the team though.
NO sucks tho
they do that damn ric flair WOOOO thing after everytime CP scores.. their arena sound guy is garbage
by GreatOden'sRaven on May 14, 2009 1:18 PM PDT up reply actions
How about steelhead?
Like a trout, but bigger, meaner, and tougher.
That dude is holding that fish like a machine gun. I wasn’t aware that Q ever invented such a gadget…
I have not yet begun to defile myself.
by EngineerScotty on May 14, 2009 12:04 PM PDT reply actions
His other nickname is Catfish (according the broadcasting crew)
A little more fierce looking, but not very barracuda-like.
The PA announcers go with the Outlaw Morricone western theme
"Officiating has to be a science, not an art" - Rick Carlisle
Pierce
Is already the catfish(or so simmons is trying to get that started) and i think it makes more sense cause he really does look like a fish
"Howard, he know me" Rudy
by phillyduck23 on May 14, 2009 1:09 PM PDT up reply actions
Yeah, but more appropriate.
There are no trout in the warm Mississippi waters that Travis fishes.
Brandon Roy just destroyed everything in his path. There's your rational analysis -- Dave
Also: COMCAST SUCKS!
Steve Blake's nickname should be Huck Finn.
He looks like some backwoods dude from Appalachia or something. He’d look about right with a couple less teeth, a straw hat and a piece of hay to chew on.
by Benjamanic on May 14, 2009 12:10 PM PDT reply actions 1 recs
I know it’s bad form to link to your own fanposts, but I wrote an inspiring little piece on this issue a year ago.
You can read it here.
"Literary Criticism is not bookkeeping." -SB
by nightbluefruit on May 14, 2009 12:28 PM PDT reply actions
unrec for self promotion
your better than that, cmon
:)
by GreatOden'sRaven on May 14, 2009 1:19 PM PDT up reply actions
Oh yeah
I forgot about Treebeard. I like it.
Hence force he shall be dubbed Treebeard.
"Fernandez, to my eyes, is the Blazer who walks that walk most comfortably. A lot of Portland's fans (egged on, dare I say, by their local broadcasters) lament things like how Ron Artest or Yao Ming get to hit Brandon Roy's arms.
But I suspect Fernandez sees all that and thinks: We get to hit arms! Cool!"
http://myespn.go.com/blogs/truehoop/0-39-135/On-Playoff-Experience.html
I like timbo's nick name for Steve Blake - Poppin' Fresh...
and the nick name Barracuda reminds me of one of these…
Blazer's Edge Ambassador to The Dream Shake Blog
LMA Rocks!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I <3 LMA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
LMA - Putting the POWER in POWER FORWARD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
The concussion must have jarred him into "Destroy All Opposition Terminator Mode!" - BlazersOrBust
That's a beauty, but I preferred the 1967 'Cuda
.
.
along with the 1969 Camaro,
.
.
.
the 1966 Mustang GT,
.
.
.
and the 1970 Dodge Challenger.
.
by MiledAnimal on May 14, 2009 2:18 PM PDT up reply actions 2 recs
It is very cool to see that I am not the only fan of classic musclecars here at BEdge...
I love your choices as well, but the 1970 Barracuda has a very special place in my heart since my very first car was ’70 Barracuda!
I have owned several other musclecars also such as a 1970 Plymouth GTX nearly identical to this photo…
and a 1967 Dodge Coronet similar to the following…
and others also. I also have days worth of stories to tell….sigh…these machines always make me nostalgic.
Blazer's Edge Ambassador to The Dream Shake Blog
LMA Rocks!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I <3 LMA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
LMA - Putting the POWER in POWER FORWARD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
The concussion must have jarred him into "Destroy All Opposition Terminator Mode!" - BlazersOrBust
Gracias
I have not yet begun to defile myself.
by EngineerScotty on May 14, 2009 1:26 PM PDT up reply actions
Well done
But I’m gonna need warp factor 10 from you, now!
I know less than half of you half as well as I should like, and I like less than half of you half as well as you deserve.
Just a note.
I’ve been diving in waters with barracuda and their reputation far outweighs their real behavior.
hakkaa päälle !
Stud Ruffin
I know less than half of you half as well as I should like, and I like less than half of you half as well as you deserve.
by haildablazer on May 14, 2009 4:05 PM PDT up reply actions
Unless....
Travis is willing to legally change his name…
"You said that I was right... you're right, I know that I was"
now, there's a sig
VENTURA: It's drowning. It gives you the complete sensation that you are drowning. It is no good, because you -- I'll put it to you this way, you give me a waterboard, Dick Cheney and one hour, and I'll have him confess to the Sharon Tate murders.
you could call him Avis
or Ravi. Ravi is fierce.
"Fernandez, to my eyes, is the Blazer who walks that walk most comfortably. A lot of Portland's fans (egged on, dare I say, by their local broadcasters) lament things like how Ron Artest or Yao Ming get to hit Brandon Roy's arms.
But I suspect Fernandez sees all that and thinks: We get to hit arms! Cool!"
http://myespn.go.com/blogs/truehoop/0-39-135/On-Playoff-Experience.html
Mount Vesuvius
for realsies – Outlaw can erupt, be explosive and such, but sometimes the eruption encases a whole peoplegroup in burning rock, becoming an ageless testament to nature’s lethal, destructive power. In a bad way.
and when he's not he's dormant and easily pillaged for his fertial soil?
forgive my spelling :)
The Faith don't panic, the faith freaks out burns out farms and torchs small villages in the name of The Faith.
Based on the likelyhood (or lack thereof) that he will be back next year...
I’d say it’s not even worth giving him a new nickname. That’s like naming a dog on your way to drop him off at the pound.
Maybe basketball just isn't your game. I know, let's have a spelling contest.
by Sea Bass on May 14, 2009 7:45 PM PDT reply actions 2 recs
that's just messed up man....
but it made me laugh.
The Faith don't panic, the faith freaks out burns out farms and torchs small villages in the name of The Faith.
If certain "fans" have their way
we’re going to be calling him “the one that got away”
I AM A PORTLAND TRAIL BLAZERS SUPPORTER.
by bow4meow on May 14, 2009 8:58 PM PDT reply actions 3 recs
Hells Kitchen Finale Open Kitchen Game Day Thread
I really think this is a tough call… I thought for many weeks Danny would take it, but now I’m having second thoughts… Paula is one tough chef…. my money is on…… Paunny… I mean Daulla
I AM A PORTLAND TRAIL BLAZERS SUPPORTER.
Yep its Danny
too good a start… Paula is saddled with Lacey…. Go Danny!!
I AM A PORTLAND TRAIL BLAZERS SUPPORTER.
Im sticking with Danny
but Paula is right there…. wow tough call
I AM A PORTLAND TRAIL BLAZERS SUPPORTER.
Maybe Danny shouldn't have tried so hard to finish first
Chef Ramsay said to Paula its about quality not speed. Hmmm, I really think Danny earned it, but Paula is so close….
I AM A PORTLAND TRAIL BLAZERS SUPPORTER.
T-LAW is what I thought Travis wanted it to be
Don’t some of the players even call him that?
put a body on 'em
Trout>T Law
With the exception of the very elite, people shall no longer use their initials and/or condensed versions of their name as nicknames (IE KG, MJ, B Roy)….MAN LAW.
I got 6 years of playoff blue balls going on, and I'm ready to release. GO BLAZERS. ~Mortimer
by Philthyanimal on May 14, 2009 11:10 PM PDT up reply actions
Trout is lame, I've always thought.
Travis had “T-Law” printed on his wrist bands. I like the name, and if he likes it, why not?
Brandon Roy just destroyed everything in his path. There's your rational analysis -- Dave
Also: COMCAST SUCKS!
here here!!!
The Faith don't panic, the faith freaks out burns out farms and torchs small villages in the name of The Faith.
Something combining Trout and Outlaw...
Cut throat. Cut throat is a trout, and a cut thoat is an outlaw.
I could be wrong now. But I don't think so!
Cut throat... too similar to choke artist
and the playoffs didn’t go all that well for Travis.
I would post something really funny yet kinda rude, like "The Dingbat"
but I’m sure I’d get flamed and I have this thin skin and all…
Blazer Fan
New nickname for Trav: Bambi
He can jump like a deer and give you that vacant expression when he’s caught in your headlights (or in the NBA playoffs)
East-bound and down, soon to be hoopin’ it up in Memphis about 6 feet off the Beale
For Travis a like "the Lottery".
Sometimes he hit.
"They didn't know it was impossible, so they did it"
"There goes the lottery..." if you know what I mean.
"They didn't know it was impossible, so they did it"
Tramp Outlaw
I know tramp may come across as a vagrant, but it’s short for trampoline. Travis should have some nickname related to his vertical. When he jumps to dunk, it looks like he jumps off a trampoline. That’s why we call him tramp. Yeah!
Possibly lame. But I stand by it. I’m going down with the ship.
Tramp Outlaw would go to the hole more if he had a cool nickname that reflected his vertical. Maybe we should steal Gerald Wallace’s nickname and call him Crash Outlaw. He would be devastating if, instead of drifting aimlessly around the court like a gazelle who happened upon a basketball game, he crashed around with a purpose and used his athleticism for forces of good.
Either way, the point is, Travis needs a nickname that will incentivise attacking the basket, aggression, etc. This will help him. I’m convinced.
Great post.
Q: Is Greg favoring his knee?
Frye: He favors dunking on your head, that's what he favors.
Rex
“too short to brush my own teeth arms”
LMFAO
Captain Chaos
is his nickname. He is best when things are out of control and he can put up his wild fade away jumpshots. Plus things seem to turn his direction when chaos arrives. When he makes that crazy fade away from 20 feet you just shake you heard and say “there goes captain chaos!”
by The Natural ala Mode on May 17, 2009 8:54 AM PDT reply actions
That was Ruben's nickname
Patterson actually had 2 nicks, Cap’n Chaos and Junkyard Dog
Travis is more confused than chaotic. He feels no fear and shoots without conscience. (The proverbial double-edged sword that can injure friend and foe alike)
If he was truly a SF or a PF he might be more valuable, but he’s a ‘tweener who’s good for instant offense off the bench (unless his shot is off, then he’s better off being left on the bench)
I still wish we could have traded for John Salmons
Maybe Derrick Fisher, and Brandon Bass too?
yeah
gotta wonder what we would have looked like with Salmons. He was killing for Chi’ town and we were getting killed at the 3 with one legitimate player who was also the youngest player on our team.
by The Natural ala Mode on May 17, 2009 6:56 PM PDT up reply actions
Comments For This Post Are Closed
Secondary Sidebar
User Tools
FanPosts
Community blog posts and discussion.
Recommended FanPosts
Recent FanPosts
FanShots
Quick hits of video, photos, quotes, chats, links and lists that you find around the web.
Recommended FanShots
Recent FanShots
In Association With
Ball Don't Lie - NBA - Yahoo! Sport
- Days of NBA Lives: Wherein Roy Hibbert tap-dances to Maine
- Grizzlies Valentine’s Day cards are the key to love
- Kevin Love would like the NBA to take the MLB’s approach on All-Star games
- Kobe Bryant fires a few hilarious salvos at Jeremy Lin
- Brandon Jennings states the obvious regarding his 2014 free agency, everyone goes nuts
Certain photos copyright © 2012 by Associated Press or Getty Images. Any commercial use or distribution without the express written consent of Associated Press and Getty Images is strictly prohibited.
.jpg){kind=link}
