Behind Enemy Lines



            For the past few years I have been attending a private University in eastern Idaho located a few short hours from Salt Lake City. You guessed it this is Jazz country. I can’t stand the undeserved sense of accomplishment that Jazz fans have. First of all your name doesn’t match the city you live in, secondly you have probably the lousiest fan base in America (IE chanting Cancer to Derek Fisher). The reason I bring this up is that for the past few years I have had to endure constant harassment from these so called loyalists who, if I remember correctly dropped the team flat on it’s face after Stockton and Malone peaced out. Even now their support is spotty at best, I went to a game as part of a career fair about two months ago and the place was literally half empty, but since Mormons (Jazz fans) are overly optimistic people they would probably argue that it is half full. Now I know what you are thinking about the Mormon comment but I actually am a “Mormon” as well and I have to say sometimes they can be so ridiculous (like rooting for the Jazz). But I digress; the fact of the matter is; now I finally have something to say back to them.

The following is an actual argument that took place in front of a Dairy Queen approximately 3 hours ago.

(As I leave my car and head into the restaurant I ran into a friend of mine who took it upon herself to talk a little trash to me after the Utah Jazz started out the season 5-0, from there on out you had to know this would be war I would not stand idly by and have my fan hood endure such mockery)

Me: (wearing my old school Steve Smith jersey… laundry day) Hey how about those Jazz huh? Hope you guys enjoy the 8th seed and losing to the Lakers in the first round.

Jazz fan that thinks we are friends and is actually from Virginia but happens to be a Jazz fan because her boyfriend is: Well uh uh. What is that a child size small Martell Webster jersey?

Me: No actually it is my vintage Steve Smith jersey that I have had since high school.

Poser Jazz fan: Oh I was just wondering.

Me: it’s ok I would be in a bad mood too if my team couldn’t win on the road.

Jazz fan again: All I have to say is Sam Bowie, Darius Miles, and the latest Greg Oden.

Me: funny you would mention Greg Oden who actually leads the league in offensive rebounds in his rookie season, and how many rings do the Jazz have again….?

Jazz fan: (silence)

My point is that many of you probably encounter conversations like this every day, well I want to give you a chance to vent in the comments below lets share our best “Behind Enemy Lines” story.  I don’t want this thread to turn into a religious debate I have already told some Mormons that they are wrong a on few things, being Jazz fans for one, I mean don’t the realize that Brigham Young was a Trail Blazer?

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