Junk Drawer 3/23 - If a Blazer Were a Serial Killer
I got the idea from SolGoode's post If a Blazer Were a Villain and thought we should do it with Serial Killers. Just kidding. Who wants to read another fanpost about Bayless?
This is just a regular old Junk Drawer and I don't want to talk about Serial Killers. Cereal Kills would be funny though. My money is on Sonny being the most likely to kill someone to get his fix of Cocoa Puffs, but I do not think he is a cereal killer.
I missed a lot of characters. Here is a list.
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Don't you mean Trix Rabbit?
"It's not who jumps the highest -- it's who wants it the most" Buck Williams
"and if EVERYONE confronted with a tough, disgusting situation pulled out, I don't think I would have been born." Mortimer
Lucky, for sure
Leprechaun’s are vicious. They’re heartless…
If you can't laugh at yourself, everyone else probably is already.
No
Frankenberry or Count Chocula? Obvious choices…..
There is probably no more terrible instance of enlightenment than the one in which you discover your father is a man — with human flesh.
Paul Muad'Dib - Dune (Frank Herbert)
My Translation: My Dad is a dude just like me, and my sons are dudes like me also. I love that.
Season Tix: Section 315, with my sons
And Boo Berry
sloppy work, son
"its tough to play with one eye, unless you're a pirate." Delonte West
"una canasta a Pau en la cara" Rudy
by Honka Playboy on Mar 23, 2009 1:21 PM PDT up reply actions
oh yea..
forgot that one
There is probably no more terrible instance of enlightenment than the one in which you discover your father is a man — with human flesh.
Paul Muad'Dib - Dune (Frank Herbert)
My Translation: My Dad is a dude just like me, and my sons are dudes like me also. I love that.
Season Tix: Section 315, with my sons
Not you
Tom. He should stick to flawless championship prognosticating
"its tough to play with one eye, unless you're a pirate." Delonte West
"una canasta a Pau en la cara" Rudy
by Honka Playboy on Mar 23, 2009 1:26 PM PDT up reply actions
LOL! Are we having fun yet or what???
Blazer's Edge Ambassador to The Dream Shake Blog
LMA - Putting the POWER in POWER FORWARD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
LMA Rocks!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I <3 LMA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I didn't need to see this
confusion setting in…
"Travis has more hops than a bunny in a brewery. He elevates so high his seat doubles as a flotation device."
-Dave
by SabonisBonus on Mar 23, 2009 1:29 PM PDT up reply actions
The Orbits Alien!

Dont let the smile fool ya! He a killer!
Blazer's Edge Ambassador to The Dream Shake Blog
LMA - Putting the POWER in POWER FORWARD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
LMA Rocks!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I <3 LMA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
LOL
for sure
There is probably no more terrible instance of enlightenment than the one in which you discover your father is a man — with human flesh.
Paul Muad'Dib - Dune (Frank Herbert)
My Translation: My Dad is a dude just like me, and my sons are dudes like me also. I love that.
Season Tix: Section 315, with my sons
Tony the Tiger for 2 simple reasons
1. He wears a red bandana. Obvious gang affiliation there.
2. He’s a fricken tiger!
(p.s. sorry if this double posts)
What's the Spanish version
of “Put a Tiger in Your Tank”
“Ponga su tanque”
http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=cat%20orgasm
An older woman for SerHi0
Una Chihttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lvRr2fhawvE&feature=relatedca (que) por El Mago
call me suspicious
but you wouldn’t be shooting for that least commented-upon junk drawer title again? Sneaking in a JD just after posting a mezmorizing statistical analysis in another fanpost? And someone seems to have kidnapped Norsktroll
"its tough to play with one eye, unless you're a pirate." Delonte West
"una canasta a Pau en la cara" Rudy
So you'res saying we should post something about backup point guards?...
That outta drive up the comments.
If you can't laugh at yourself, everyone else probably is already.
Nah
I posted this because I thought my serious post would get junked up, and I did what I complain about others doing. I took what should have been a comment from another FanPost and made it into my own FanPost out of vanity.
somebody's got to step up
and bang out a decent JD, lately they’ve been pretty dull, yours are usually pretty bangin’.
I'm working on one that should be epic
I discussed some Blazers/Blazers Edge things with my wife last night and she said something that was epic.
by tominhawaii on Mar 23, 2009 2:46 PM PDT up reply actions 1 recs
JD rule clarification
I know how important it is winning that title, but if it’s wife inspired she had better get the credit (I’ll know)
I AM A PORTLAND TRAIL BLAZERS SUPPORTER.
I'm having trouble wording it
I’m leaning towards just making it a comment because I’m afraid things will get out of hand.
I was kidding of course
I liked this JD
"its tough to play with one eye, unless you're a pirate." Delonte West
"una canasta a Pau en la cara" Rudy
by Honka Playboy on Mar 23, 2009 2:39 PM PDT up reply actions
Captain Crunch.
Dresses like he’s gone off the deep end — carries a sword…
Pontiff of the Pryz for Prez Posse...
Yeah
I have no idea how I missed him on the poll since his picture is on the link I used.
I looked at this too: http://www.cracked.com/article_15271_hateful-stereotypes-behind-5-lovable-cereal-mascots.html
I get the feeling Snap, Crackle and Pop
Plan together. They work together to get their prey.
by Se Hace La Vista Gorda on Mar 23, 2009 2:01 PM PDT reply actions
good point
they could ambush you from 3 sides……very disturbing
- Neil
by Blazin'aTrail on Mar 23, 2009 2:03 PM PDT up reply actions
they are kind of like
drug addict raptors
"Slum dunk? You just go to the rim, and crush.. crush the ball in the rim."
- Nic Batum
I thought that the killer
would be Crackle…..only Crackle, but since his DNA is virtually identical to Snap’s and Pop’s…..the police are powerless to stop him on his rampage of death
"You're welcome friend
I love you."
- Tom "Dragline" inHawaii
by 92wastheyear on Mar 23, 2009 4:14 PM PDT up reply actions
feathers tickle, belts buckle, beets pickle
but Crackle makes the world go around. – Elgin
Blazers win BDL 2 on 2 tournament!
Skeets: i’ll close it down now … congrats. you bastards
How about if Serial Killers had their own breakfast cereals?
……………………….. then again, dunno how successful “Gacy Flakes”®™ and “Dahmer Pops”®™ would be…
“Granola Bundies”®™ might have legs though….
So to speak.
I get confused.
Pontiff of the Pryz for Prez Posse...
by timbo on Mar 23, 2009 2:04 PM PDT reply actions 1 recs
I am thinking "Ripper Jacks"
Cinnimon toasty “Ripper Jacks”
"You're welcome friend
I love you."
- Tom "Dragline" inHawaii
by 92wastheyear on Mar 23, 2009 4:15 PM PDT up reply actions
Jarrett Jacks
when you need to go over the line. – Elgin
Blazers win BDL 2 on 2 tournament!
Skeets: i’ll close it down now … congrats. you bastards
I vote for the Honey Nut Cheerios bee. no reason.
I do believe in Greg, I do believe in Greg. I do I do I do I do I do believe in Greg.
Unrelated to everything!
1. I hope we finish one game ahead of the Rockets. We get 4 seed, they get 5 seed.
2. In round one we win in 7, with every game being won by the home team easily.
3. We go on to win the NBA finals.
That would mean that Roy’s 3 pointer at the buzzer, at the very beginning of the season effectively would have won us the NBA title.
how sadistic is this guy?
look at the pure evil in his face
he is carrying around his own killing tools.

i don’t even want to know what it is in the scoops.
Did you guys see Herd's Breakfast Bracket?
Pretty funny stuff. Voted on by his listeners…he claimed he had several hundred thousand votes.
I think the biggest surprise was the number 6 seed in the sugar division…..cinnamon toast crunch is not that good in my opinion. I picked cocoa puffs for the upset and was wrong.
Tweet me!
That's hardcore. I couldn't eat that stuff until I was 40.
Now I like it. Crunch crunch crunch floss.
Grape Nuts are great with yogurt
remember that old Yul Brenner joke about Grape Nuts?
I AM A PORTLAND TRAIL BLAZERS SUPPORTER.
I like them warm.
Heat them up for 1 minute in the mico with milk. My sister puts in some butter too.
That is hilarious
There is probably no more terrible instance of enlightenment than the one in which you discover your father is a man — with human flesh.
Paul Muad'Dib - Dune (Frank Herbert)
My Translation: My Dad is a dude just like me, and my sons are dudes like me also. I love that.
Season Tix: Section 315, with my sons
I'm a Raisen Bran guy
A good bowl of RB is mighty good….
There is probably no more terrible instance of enlightenment than the one in which you discover your father is a man — with human flesh.
Paul Muad'Dib - Dune (Frank Herbert)
My Translation: My Dad is a dude just like me, and my sons are dudes like me also. I love that.
Season Tix: Section 315, with my sons
by johnv59 on Mar 23, 2009 4:49 PM PDT up reply actions 1 recs
+1
Throughout the ages Raisin Bran has always been there for me. Even when I was a kid I liked the stuff.
Same here. Had a bowl just the other day
then rode ol’ Flossie out to the north forty and planted corn all day. Didn’t even need lunch.
When I was a kid
I made a movie called DEATHMONGER where a bad guy with a paper bag on his head terrorizes a family visiting relatives who live on a farm (my Aunt). He kills everyone except for my dad, who electrocutes him, and then bashes his head in with a box of cereal.
Then he says “Looks like I’m the real cereal killer”.
I was 11, it was funnier back in those days. It was a different era.
Mortimer
I once made a dumb joke explaining why there are no peanutbutter fish
It had to do with sticking to the roof of the ocean. It was bad.
At least the punch line not the following:
“Now, we will never get that smell out of the fish”
"You're welcome friend
I love you."
- Tom "Dragline" inHawaii
by 92wastheyear on Mar 23, 2009 4:18 PM PDT up reply actions 1 recs
Paul Allen: My wallet is getting thinner!
Remember that when Ben recently wrote about potential money issues for Paul Allen and the Blazers I commented that Allen doesn’t always make the smartest business decisions and has been pretty tight with his money in the past because that’s not his character, and people in the Valley have quite different stories to tell about him and the Vulcans than Blazers fans?
Here is a nice little sidenote from the “This Week in Tech” podcast released today. It’s gossip, but knowing Paul a tiny bit I can so see that happening. TWiT 187 “So Say We All”, ca. minute 57.
(Lead in)
Jason Calacanis (founder of Mahalo.com, gets caught playing on camera with a light saber): Sorry ‘bout that. I didn’t realize I was on camera. Somebody walked into my office and asked for a raise, whenever they do that I put the light saber on.
Leo Laporte (tech journalist, host and founder of This Week in Tech): You are asking for a raise, eh?
Jason: I find your lack of faith in your stock options disturbing.
Leo: (Laughter) That’s good.
Jason: You can use that Kevin. Next time Prager (producer at Revision 3) asks for a raise, tell him ‘Your stock options are your raise. And Jay Adelson (CEO of Digg and Revision 3) will be less forgiving than me’.
Leo: I’ll never forget my valuable TechTV stock options. We use them upstairs in the bathroom. (Note: The channel was bought by Vulcan in 2000, then going downhill from there through a series of downsizing rounds, restructuring and rebranding.)
Dan Patterson (BBB/ABC producer): Were people suing Paul Allen about that?
Leo: No, we went to a lawyer and we investigated, and there was no way out.
Dan: I heard a story from an unnamed source that they would have these meetings with Paul Allen at Tech TV and they’d have to retell him everything that they told him the first time around and he like wouldn’t remember. And at one point Paul Allen stood up and he pulled his wallet out of his pocket and he held it up at this person who I shouldn’t name and he said ‘See this? It’s getting thinner!’
(Big laughter. No way!)
Dan: I wish, if something like that had ever got out on a YouTube video it would have gone so viral.
Kevin Rose (founder of Digg and Revision 3): He had a series of bad investments in the past, right?
Leo: Oh, in the past? In the present. Charter is now in trouble. I think Charter declared Chapter 11.
Kevin: Doesn’t really matter though, I mean he’s got like a few billion in the bank. What does he care.
Leo: Right. And you should remember this. Skim just a little off the top every month, put that aside, and you never have to worry again. Ah, where were we…
I thought about making this tomorrow’s junk drawer, but what the heck it’s funny now and Tom’s junk is good junk :)
No - I'm blind now
You just said Tom has good junk
There is probably no more terrible instance of enlightenment than the one in which you discover your father is a man — with human flesh.
Paul Muad'Dib - Dune (Frank Herbert)
My Translation: My Dad is a dude just like me, and my sons are dudes like me also. I love that.
Season Tix: Section 315, with my sons
That's important and significant.
Ariel did rebel against the authority of her father Spongebob, or whatever his name was.
Thurl Bailey? Who'd a thunk it
"its tough to play with one eye, unless you're a pirate." Delonte West
"una canasta a Pau en la cara" Rudy
by Honka Playboy on Mar 23, 2009 3:31 PM PDT up reply actions
Any word on how playoff ticket distribution would work this year?
I know season and partial-season ticket holders get first dibs. But after that? Is it through ticketmaster, both online and in-person? Or do you have to physically wait in line?
Are there likely any lower-bowl ones left after the season ticket holders get their say?
Just debating if I should attempt a trip to Portland in the near future…
I would call the
Blazers ticket office and ask them how it will work. The number is on their website.
by DrivetheLane on Mar 23, 2009 3:52 PM PDT up reply actions
Why are breakfast cereal mascots universally happy
and energetic, as if they’d drunk a gallon of Rockstar? Does anyone bounce out of bed feeling like that? Let’s have a cereal that reflects reality:

Right idea, but he’s still smiling, even if maniacally.
.

Eat this, ya little brat, or I’ll show you my evil balloons!
.

A hysterical mother discovers her son got into the trans-fat and high-fructose-enhanced dry chemical compound ironically named Life.
.

C-3P0 is facing the day with a look of hesitancy and uncertainty about his breakfast, wondering if the food-like item contains enough nutrition to get him out of the house, let alone through the day.
.

This is better. Batman looks peeved that he’s out of oatmeal and has to eat that crappy box cereal he confiscated from the Joker. He figures the joke is on him if he eats it.
.

Use the fork, Luke! You’ll get less that way.
.

Now we’re talking! This looks like my family and me B.C. (before coffee).
.

Breakfast of champions.
by MiledAnimal on Mar 23, 2009 3:50 PM PDT reply actions 1 recs
Cereal's ok......now I have a question.
I’ve been looking for the Trail Blazers theme music online and I simply cannot find it.
No, I’m not looking for one of those re-done versions they show before games now. I’m trying to find the actual original song and I am not having any success since I lost the mp3 of it I had. Can anyone here at the good BE community center help a young fella out?
Yes! Yes! In the face!
This should be a fanshot
Seriously, if you asked in a fanshot, I bet someone would come through for you.
that looks
amazingly like me dog…weird
There is probably no more terrible instance of enlightenment than the one in which you discover your father is a man — with human flesh.
Paul Muad'Dib - Dune (Frank Herbert)
My Translation: My Dad is a dude just like me, and my sons are dudes like me also. I love that.
Season Tix: Section 315, with my sons
"that looks amazingly like me dog…weird"
Are you a pirate witha a dog named “Weird”?
"You're welcome friend
I love you."
- Tom "Dragline" inHawaii
by 92wastheyear on Mar 23, 2009 4:59 PM PDT up reply actions
That creature is part Harris's Hawk
A hawk that doesn’t live anywhere NEAR Atlanta or Minnesota. I smell a fake.
This is how rumors get started.
Casey said Rebecca Harlow is pregnant in this post.
But said pregnant reporter wanted to dig deeper.
I hate Trader Bob. He and his posse made way too many deals. I'm running out of space chronicling all his moves.
I second the "I can't wait for this" emotion.
But you know, KP probably makes more moves/year than Trader Bob.
He is only the GM since 2007-03-29, so I can blame him for less years :)
But as we know he is pretty active especially on draft days
How many non-draft-day trades has he done?
He did the Freddy Jones for Juan Dixon trade. (Wait, actually that was just prior to him taking the wheel, right?)
He did the Von Wafer for Taurean Green trade.
Hmmm. I’m out. I’m probably spacing on a few. Then again, there’s only been a few years…
No kidding. How many guys on the roster were NOT the result of a trade?
Travis? He’s the only one I can name off the top of my head.
Travis (draft), Martell (draft), Joel (FA), Blake (FA, but we traded him also before). Some guys are like bad pennies, they keep coming back to the Blazers time and again. I e.g. wouldn’t be surprised if KP would sign Dan Dickau again to trade him as part of a deal for Ricky Rubio :)
Martell actually was the result of a trade
as the Blazers held the #3 pick and then traded down to the #6 pick which became Martell
Other- The Asian Trix rabbit is the likeliest candidate
as we can see in the following video:
http://www.i-am-bored.com/bored_link.cfm?link_id=12116
SFW
"It’s a good ol’ fashioned Rip City beat down!"
I feel so proud
TWO fanshots in the top five. Kind of like getting a bridge named after yourself.
draft dejuan blair
He stole
Dave’s password and is rigging the site….
There is probably no more terrible instance of enlightenment than the one in which you discover your father is a man — with human flesh.
Paul Muad'Dib - Dune (Frank Herbert)
My Translation: My Dad is a dude just like me, and my sons are dudes like me also. I love that.
Season Tix: Section 315, with my sons
voted for snap, crackle, n pop....
look at em!!
Can you imagine the lives of these three off the camera?
You remember the Baby in Who framed Rodger Rabbit right?

The Faith don't panic, the faith freaks out burns out farms and torchs small villages in the name of The Faith.
I talked about BlazersEdge
in my nonprofits and civil society seminar today. We were discussing whether or not the internet had contributed to a diminishment of community — basically, instead of going to reading groups or ACLU meetings, now people just send in an online donation or subscribe to an e-mailed newsletter and call it good.
And so I said, “I read and post on this Blazers blog every day, and it brings together people from all walks of life who have nothing in common except for a love of the Blazers, and there are actually get-togethers where hundreds of people go and watch the games together. These are people who never would have found each other if it weren’t for the blog, so it’s a uniquely internet-based form of creating bridging social capital.” Something to that effect anyway. And the professor looked like he wanted to crack up the whole time and thanked me for sharing that vivid example. Hey, I’m not embarrassed. BlazersEdger for life.
by BlazersOrBust on Mar 23, 2009 6:52 PM PDT reply actions 2 recs
Professors just don't understand.
(said in Will Smith voice)
Karma
by Sabonis4Ever on Mar 25, 2009 11:25 AM PDT up reply actions
I kind of remember the theme song
Smurfberry Crunch is fun to eat, a something something breakfast treat. And it went to the tune of the Smufs music.
by tominhawaii on Mar 23, 2009 11:30 PM PDT up reply actions
Dang
I meant to post this in the new JD.
by tominhawaii on Mar 24, 2009 3:32 PM PDT up reply actions 1 recs

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