Blazers player sponsors

by NKing on Mar 11, 2009 9:05 AM PDT

I was thinking the other night of possible sponsorships for players on the Blazers. The most obvious one to me would be the amazing body wash Old Spice Swagger. Brandon Roy would be the best person to promote "Swagger" Just picture a commercial with him saying, "In almost three seasons now I've tied or won the game 25 times in the final 30 seconds. Was this because of my incredible skills, and my ability to remain calm under any pressure? No, it was the 8 hour protection from Old Spice Swagger."

Or this one is a stretch, but since he loves the driving extended scoop on either side of the basket, why not Raisin Bran Two Scoops?

This is meant to be a fun post, getting away from disecting the players, coaches, and hating on the the other teams. Portland is a low market team and it's always great to see players in national commercials. Perhaps the bloggers here on blazersedge could be the ones that get these players the national recognition.

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How bout

Joel selling condoms….“No one scores with out a little protection”

"You're welcome friend
I love you."
- Tom "Dragline" inHawaii

by 92wastheyear on Mar 11, 2009 9:12 AM PDT reply actions

that is a great one

by NKing on Mar 11, 2009 9:24 AM PDT up reply actions

too funny

"CRUSH YOUR ENEMIES, SEE THEM DRIVEN BEFORE YOU, AND HEAR THE LAMENTATION OF THEIR WOMEN." CONAN

by SELFDESTRUCTABLE on Mar 11, 2009 1:20 PM PDT up reply actions

...this just in...

Lazy Boy just sponsored Oden. They saw how uncomfortable he looked in his favorite seat all the way at the end of the bench so they are now giving him a full Lazy Boy recliner to keep his fragile legs elevated without sacrificing comfort.

by NKing on Mar 11, 2009 9:26 AM PDT reply actions

Outlaw plays no D, I hate Nate, I hate Kobe.

As for being on topic.

Rudy needs to do hair removal adds.
Sergio needs to do hair growth adds.
Batum needs to do hand lotion adds.
Bayless needs to do an add for hungry hungry hippo.

by Zaig on Mar 11, 2009 9:33 AM PDT reply actions

If Batum did a hand lotion ad

and i saw that on television i would lose it.

by NKing on Mar 11, 2009 9:35 AM PDT reply actions

Greg Oden for Zoloft

He could play the big sad-faced cloud that’s raining over the city.

These are my principles. If you don't like them, I have others. -Groucho Marx

by RDreamer on Mar 11, 2009 9:38 AM PDT reply actions

Rudy should re-do the swinging

Old Spice commercial (the one with the guy who plays the piano in front of the fire) and has all the hotties around

"You're welcome friend
I love you."
- Tom "Dragline" inHawaii

by 92wastheyear on Mar 11, 2009 9:41 AM PDT reply actions

one of the best old spice commercials. …..still think that ROY needs the SWAGGER contract.

by NKing on Mar 11, 2009 9:43 AM PDT up reply actions

Rudy would be good

doing the whole “I was a total dweeb until….” line of commercials (ala Brian Erlacker (sp))

"You're welcome friend
I love you."
- Tom "Dragline" inHawaii

by 92wastheyear on Mar 11, 2009 9:50 AM PDT up reply actions

Bruce Campbell

B-Horror movie god

It was "mascot night" at the Rose Garden, which apparently translates to a dozen inflatable versions of various NBA mascots being chased around the arena by Portland's "Blaze", which is some breed of rapist dog. -PostingandToasting

by GreatOden'sRaven on Mar 11, 2009 12:26 PM PDT up reply actions

Schick Quattro

is deciding to sign rudy fernandez, once he recovers from getting the wind knocked out of him the other night.

by NKing on Mar 11, 2009 9:42 AM PDT reply actions

i just heard on 95.5 that

Oden is pondering a Vagasil contract….

by NKing on Mar 11, 2009 9:46 AM PDT reply actions

Ouch

That’s hitting below the belt

Literally. You know he reads this garbage, right? We love you Greg, get well soon.

These are my principles. If you don't like them, I have others. -Groucho Marx

by RDreamer on Mar 11, 2009 9:51 AM PDT up reply actions

sorry greg oden

you’re just an easy target. get well, if you are reading this blog you need to stop, because it will only shatter that fragile phsyce of yours. see you in 7-10 days

by NKing on Mar 11, 2009 9:53 AM PDT up reply actions

I AM FINDING IT HARD

TO COME UP WITH ONE FOR LAMARCUS…

by NKing on Mar 11, 2009 10:00 AM PDT reply actions

Me too

Anything I can think of here is in bad taste and wouldn’t be welcome, because when I think of Lamarcus I think:

Should be pounding inside, but instead is shooting from distance.

You can all make your own commercial.

These are my principles. If you don't like them, I have others. -Groucho Marx

by RDreamer on Mar 11, 2009 10:05 AM PDT up reply actions

Supositories?

Smooth…almost don’t even know it is there?

"You're welcome friend
I love you."
- Tom "Dragline" inHawaii

by 92wastheyear on Mar 11, 2009 10:08 AM PDT up reply actions

i don't think

he’d sign that contract but i think EXLAX did offer a lucrative deal

by NKing on Mar 11, 2009 10:09 AM PDT up reply actions

WHY ARE YOU YELLING!?

"Brian (Outlaw is Rejector) is now on the fan saying he put this on to see what would happen " - 123_G.O._RipCity

by Outlaw is Rejector on Mar 11, 2009 10:14 AM PDT up reply actions

i think the problem

is that we have great players but it’s hard to market them…LA is a BEAST bro

by NKing on Mar 11, 2009 10:07 AM PDT reply actions

Batum could do an anti immigration commercial?

Show Spanish guys trying to get into France and then show Batum rejecting them?

by Zaig on Mar 11, 2009 10:14 AM PDT reply actions

I got one!

LaMarcus Aldridge, Got Milk?

Solid, versatile, but you only really notice when it’s bad.

These are my principles. If you don't like them, I have others. -Groucho Marx

by RDreamer on Mar 11, 2009 10:16 AM PDT reply actions

The Big "O"

Oden could get a sponsorship from Castle Superstores…

Greg Oden lines: “Every team in the NBA covets a big man, if you want to have your own big man, get your own "Big O”… because “O” doesn’t stand for Oden"

by Portland Dynasty on Mar 11, 2009 11:44 AM PDT reply actions

Pryzbilla for Ford?

Pryzbilla is a tough utility player… he would be a very solid pitchman for Ford F-150 trucks.

by Portland Dynasty on Mar 11, 2009 11:46 AM PDT reply actions

Bayless and BMW autos...

Bayless likes to drive, the basketball that is… But his tendancies for driving would work well with the Ultimate Driving Machines known as BMW’s.

by Portland Dynasty on Mar 11, 2009 11:47 AM PDT reply actions

Like the idea but I gotta LOL this

“the Ultimate Driving Machines known as BMW’s.”

by Zaig on Mar 11, 2009 12:20 PM PDT up reply actions

Former Blazer....

Shawn Kemp for Babies R Us?

LOL…

by Portland Dynasty on Mar 11, 2009 11:48 AM PDT reply actions

Oden and Pryz...

These guys could do an infomercial for industrial strength fly SWATTERS.

by Portland Dynasty on Mar 11, 2009 11:48 AM PDT reply actions

Sergio and Rudy...

As ambassadors of Spain, these two players could pitch a new flight package to Spain… of course the “Spanish Fly Connection”.

by Portland Dynasty on Mar 11, 2009 11:51 AM PDT reply actions

Bayless and Martell...

These two sharpshooters could be the spokespeople for Sportsman Warehouse…

“We got all the gear you need to SHOOT the lights out” Clear Martell and Bayless pulling the Bird Vs. Jordan horse commercials except shot in a Sportsman Warehouse… “Off the shotgun, off the moose head, off the sturgeon rod and in”

by Portland Dynasty on Mar 11, 2009 11:54 AM PDT reply actions

Brandon Roy...

Roy should be a pitchman for Rinnai Tankless Water Heaters or high efficiency furnaces… because Roy is High Efficiency.

by Portland Dynasty on Mar 11, 2009 11:56 AM PDT reply actions

LaMarcus Aldridge...

Charmin Toilet Paper….

Because LA is SMOOTH.

“Take it from me, LaMarcus Aldridge, if you want Smooth, you want Charmin.”

by Portland Dynasty on Mar 11, 2009 11:57 AM PDT reply actions

good one

was going to give that to batum but i like the LA

by NKing on Mar 11, 2009 12:53 PM PDT up reply actions

Sergio...

local product… Moonstruck Chocolate.

Sergio is Spanish Chocolate afterall. Sounds like a new delicacy from Moonstruck.

by Portland Dynasty on Mar 11, 2009 11:59 AM PDT reply actions

Nic Batum...

Another local product…. Leatherman Tools.

Because Versatility Matters. That is Nic Batum.

by Portland Dynasty on Mar 11, 2009 12:00 PM PDT reply actions

Nike and our Big Three...

Aldridge, Roy and Oden should all be sponsored by Nike. For sure. If not each core player on this roster… Afterall we are gonna win Championships in 2010 and 2011.

by Portland Dynasty on Mar 11, 2009 12:01 PM PDT reply actions

Martell

Dictionaries and Websters.com/dictionary.com

by Portland Dynasty on Mar 11, 2009 12:01 PM PDT reply actions

I'd eat Ruffin's Muffins

by two buck chuck on Mar 11, 2009 12:25 PM PDT reply actions

BREAKING NEWS 95.5 announces two new sponsorships....

BLACK AND DECKER just signed Billa

WAFFLE HOUSE signed Outlaw to a national deal

by NKing on Mar 11, 2009 12:53 PM PDT reply actions

KP should do a used car commercial....

like the one Bosh did

There is probably no more terrible instance of enlightenment than the one in which you discover your father is a man — with human flesh.
Paul Muad'Dib - Dune (Frank Herbert)

My Translation: My Dad is a dude just like me, and my sons are dudes like me also. I love that.
Season Tix: Section 315, with my sons

by johnv59 on Mar 11, 2009 5:32 PM PDT reply actions