Junk Drawer Feb 07-08 - Toughest Poll Ever Edition

Blazers > Angelina Jolie

Not because I love you now. Actually when we win the WC next year, I´ll force every fan to eat its negative comments of these days, in sandpaper with mayonnaise, one by one. :)

wow… she is incredibly attractive, at the same time, her personality and all her intangibles kinda turn me off…

I voted PTB championship. I could always talk to my friends about “that championship season” but they’d also be jealous or disbelieving of any Jolie cracker snacking.

my apologies to T-Darkstar for assuming the PTB were gonna coast to a win last night…. totally my bad. T pegged it early in the ODGT

don’t do it for me. Not saying she isn’t beautiful, but that and smoking are my two non-starters. Blazers for the win!

not even close on this one gotta be the ring

As Ben said, not even close.

If the “one night” was fantastic it could leave you disappointed with the nights that follow. If the “one night” was a disappointment, you’d have only memories of disillusionment. A championship is forever and the memories are a neverending banquet.

That question is more like : would you like to beat Boston while they are defending champions or win a championship? Not even close.

But I just don’t think Angelina Jolie is attractive. (Ditto with Jessica Alba, btw.) As far as Brad Pitt goes, I’ve always thought he was kind of attractive in a generic sort of way, but definitely not exceptional or worthy of adulation. To me a person’s face has to be interesting and exotic, and the person has to have a real depth of character and intellect, before I consider them attractive.

Jolie’s face seems kind of puffy and bitchy to me, frankly, and her intellect and taste (as reflected in her choices and preferences) leave me feeling cold. There is something wicked and conniving about her. I would definitely not want to spend a night with her. But hey, Brad seems to like her… To each his own. In my book Jennifer Aniston is a far better person in every respect, and far more attractive. Little Bradley really flubbed that one, didn’t he?

As for Alba (to follow up on my parenthetical remark above), I find her utterly plain, ordinary, superficial, and uninteresting. Sort of like that cheerleader in American Beauty. Sort of like aspartame as opposed to maple syrup. Or farmed salmon as opposed to Copper River sockeye.

a rod tested positive for steroids

maybe it’s the whole vial-of-blood thing with Billy Bob Thornton.

Or maybe it’s just Billy Bob Thornton.

(Or maybe it’s just that I’m married, and not to Jolie… OK, I admit it—I am Brad Pitt in real life..)

So I gotta go with the Blazers.

He’s just not that attractive. I mean, c’mon, THIS is attractive:

(Apologies to all the fellas who are getting sick of this photo.)

They would rather have their superstars be all ‘roided up than let them rest. Okay I know that’s not true, but that is the nature of that ridiculous espn poll, dumbass espn analysts and commentators will twist this poll in all kind of ways to make all kinds of ludicrous generalized assertions about all fans.

This is how they come up with stupid statements like, “Lebron, your were voted "coolest guy in sports by the fans, how do you feel?”

“Well, I already knew I was cooler than Kobe, that Nascar dude, and Tiger, you really should have put Arenas on there, that guy is way cooler than me.”

The fact that only 5.5% of people taking this poll also confirms the fact that football still rules the sports paradigm in Amerikkka. I guess the majority of dudes in my demographic love them some:

http://www.sportingnews.com/blog/firstcuts/entry/view/17092/nba_players_to_play_g-e-i-c-o_not_h-o-r-s-e

Not as good as 92 was the year, but that must be some kind of record.

So I’m 21 years old. Statistically speaking, I have about another 57 years of life in me, and my diet and exercise habits are both excellent so I’m probably on the higher side of that number.

That’s more than five and a half decades where I’m going to be a die-hard Blazers fan. If they win a championship when I’m 60, it’ll mean just as much to me as if they were to win this year. ONE CHAMPIONSHIP in the next 57 years? I like my odds.

Compare that to my odds of ever, ever boning Angelina Jolie without the intervention of this magical poll genie. One in a trillion would be generous, and that’s assuming that somebody can actually invent a Polyjuice Potion that makes me look like Brad and then I pounce, a la Don Juan. This is an absolute no-brainer. You take the night and in KP you trust. Y’all be trippin.

so you’re saying theres a chance

If the Blazers team plane crashed, that the trade happy and draft happy fans would be more excited about the pending expansion draft and trades than they would be upset over losing everyone on the team?

I like the Prof and TA, I already have the book, and it’s pretty interesting stuff. But the logistics are difficult, and it’s a little expensive. And it’s a course I can’t use for a degree, and taking it noncredit would cost the same. There are other options available but one has higher prerequisites and is taught by a Prof who seems unorganized and had a class taken away from him a few years ago; and the others while cheaper are pretty bland (or full/not possible for me right now). The course will likely be offered in a similar fashion every year/term, so it’s not really running away…

Thoughts? My horoscope for the day says I should remember that in the end my personal development is more important than potential financial gain :)

How many guys here would take that deal? Just wondering.

Let’s face it: Orgasms are fleeting. Championships for the Blazers? That’s like a lifetime orgasm.