FanPost

21. Gut Check Time: The View from Houston

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The Portland Trail Blazers have been getting mowed down faster than Canadian volunteers dumped in France to fight Germans for the cause of British imperialism. 

One last cigarette and it's "Over the top, boys!"

Ratta-tatta-tatta-tat!!!  Your king thanks you for your sacrifice...

We all have bemoaned the loss of Nic and Travis and Pendy and Mills many times already. Then Inferno was dinged, wearing something like 11 stitches in his eye from an injury suffered in practice. LMA's knee was bruised and semi-functional. Rudolfo was a late scratch — out with a sciatic nerve issue in his back. Hell, even Head Coach Sarge was on the bench in a boot with a blown achilles tendon...

Finally came the game, in which Oden's kneecap did itself and finished him for the year.

Where does it end?

If you want humorous entertainment in this black hour, try looking up a few of the fanposts on BE written by hand-wringers worried about the lack of minutes on the Blazers' team this year for so many quality NBA players. Ha ha! Don't these public Prescience FAILs warm your soul just a little?!? The ones that make me laugh the hardest are the ones that micromanage Nate's hypothetical rotations down to 2 minute increments of time — as if Nate had even one game to play his actual preferred lineup from Portland's 15 man roster this year!

Those of you feeling the need to take a more participatory role in resolving the current situation might try beseeching supernatural intervention. When I was in college, I lived in a Christian cooperative (akin to a frat) in which one rather loony faction was convinced that evil forces were at work sabotaging the toaster and dishwasher and other kitchen appliances, thereby placing financial and practical obstacles in the way of the righteous. I never believed in a supernatural component encompassed in mean time before failure myself, but ya never know — maybe an explicit urging of one's deity to take a more active interest in roundball now that the Blazers are six men short would be of some utility. After all, it's well-nigh traditional for pro football players to plead with their god for victory on the gridiron, it seems like pretty much the same principle.

Outside of that, just hang in there, fellow fans. Nate and KP have more depth than they realize and they'll be getting a couple guys back soon. Furthermore, there's nothing like a common obstacle to bond individuals in a common purpose.

And, really, isn't that what our Blazers have been lacking this year?

 

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The old joke is that for entertainment here in Corvallis we all sit around the barbershop and watch each other get haircuts. That's a little bit too harsh, perhaps. Or not. Truth be told, we do have one of the best old school barbershops around, the City Barber Shop on 3rd Street, where a crudely hand-lettered sign in the window reads "Stimulate the Economy — Get a Haircut!"

I was just in there on Wednesday for my quarterly shearing. As one might expect, talk soon turned to the percolating Eldrick "Tiger"™® Woods Escapade. Debbie the Barber still hadn't heard that the actual cause of the crash seems to have been another woman, unthinkingly accepting at face value Eldrick's wife's claim that she had used a golf club on the back windshield of her hubby's car as part of the world's first emergency cesarian rescue of a driver involved in a low speed impact with a tree.

Keith Olbermann's joke is that Elin Woods "was just playing a bad lie," a witticism bolstered by the obvious fact that a golf club through the back window of a car seems rather more likely to be the cause of a sudden crash rather than a ready tool for the speedy extraction of an injured driver from a front seat.

We City Barber Shop patrons began to speculate what club an angry wife would be best advised to wield in such a domestic situation.

There was some sentiment for use of a hybrid utility club for this purpose, since utility clubs are built for a multitude of functions and are solid yet easy to wield. I begged to differ, however, suggesting instead that the heft and density of a 2-iron would probably be most effective on safety glass.

Some old duffer recited the truism that "Only God can hit a 2-iron," but we all ultimately agreed that Eldrick probably carried one in his bag anyway and that it would be a very good tool indeed for taking out the window of a fleeing vehicle.

 

Tiger Woods was Unconscious, Snoring After Crash, Neighbors Say: Neighbors described to FHP what they saw following Tiger Woods' crash outside his Isleworth home.

by Anika Myers Palm and Willoughby Mariano, Orlando Sentinel

[Dec. 3] The once-pristine image of golf superstar Tiger Woods took more blows Thursday after disclosures that neighbors found him lying shoeless and snoring on his Isleworth street after he plowed his SUV into a fire hydrant and tree.

These details, included in a Florida Highway Patrol troopers' recorded interview of neighbors who rushed to Woods' aid, emerged as a celebrity gossip publication reported that yet another party girl had trysts with Tiger Woods.

Kalika Moquin, 27, a marketing manager for The Bank nightclub in Las Vegas, "hooked up" with the champion golfer as recently as late October, Life & Style magazine reported.

Tabloid reports blamed the Nov. 27 crash on a quarrel they said Woods, 33, had with his wife Elin Nordegren, 29, after the National Enquirer reported the golfer had an affair with club hostess Rachel Uchitel, 34. With Los Angeles hostess Jaimee Grubbs, 24, the number of reported mistresses now stands at three. * * *

 

Channel Surfing.

Wednesday, Dec. 2, 2009.

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Houston Rockets (9-8) at Los Angeles Clippers (8-10).

The Los Angeles Clippers had another bad day Wednesday.

First they found out that #1 Overall NBA Draft Pick Blake Griffin was looking more like a January 1 returnee rather than making the scene by the middle of December, as had been anticipated. For a team drunkenly swaying at the edge of the lottery abyss, such information could not be good.

Second, the Clips had to play the Houston Rockets — "The team that nobody wants to face," as TV color analyst Michael Smith aptly phrased it.

This game played pretty even for 3 quarters before the undersized, overhustling Rockets blew things wide open in the final frame, going on a massive 16-0 during fueled by the Very Low BBIQ Clips deciding that the answer to their jumpshooting woes was to take more jumpshots. 

Baron Davis did manage to luck in a 3-pointer at the final horn, bringing the Clips up to .071 shooting from the arc for the night — which sounds a whole lot better than .000, eh? They finished 1-for-14. Unfortunately for Lawler's Losers, Houston went 13-for-23 from downtown, which is how they often win games these days. Rockets 102, Clippers 85.

 

Thursday, Dec. 3 2009.

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All basketball was cancelled — it was Civil War night, baby!

Beavs came into this one as 10 point dogs in the view of the smart guys in Vegas. They certainly had their chances, but were ultimately doomed by their having to settle for 4 field goals in the first half and their general inability to contain the Ducks' running attack throughout. 

To win against a superior opponent on the road the Beavs needed, I figured, to play a completely clean game and to pick up 2 critical turnovers. They got 1. They also needed Duck Head Coach Chip "Mr. Consistency" Kelly to play lots of LaGarrette Blount — Thug the Slug — in place of the deadly back that has been ripping the Pac-10 new belly buttons every week. They got some of that entirely predictable coaching stupidity, but too little, too late. 

A couple critical stops couldn't be made as the Ducks manned up and won the battle of the trenches in the 2nd Half. Soooooo close! A near miss for the good guys, which beats the hell out of a blowout. Trust me.

I somehow manage to hate the arrogant and obnoxious University of Oregon fans more and more every year, those loud-mouthed idiots with their self-satisfied smirks and their drunkenly making the Sign of the Orifice with their hands... They make me want to go buy a Buick™® and to do some Eldrick "Tiger"™® Woods driving across the Autzen parking lot. Unfortunately, the Eugene football team was better than the Corvallis football team this year. *ucks 37, Beavs 33.

 

Friday, Dec. 4, 2009.

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Miami Heat 10-8 at Los Angeles Lakers 14-3.

Lakers came into this one riding a league-best 7-game winning streak, Heat trying to rediscover the happy feeling they got kicking the Blazers in the mug on Tuesday...

Festivities were were flatter than a warm 3 day old keg in the first half. The Laker bigs did manage to run a bit and Jordan Farmar looked good — but there were lots of misses from the field by both squads en route to a 51-48 halftime lead for the Lakers. Dwayne Wade was just 2-for-9 at the break, which would be substandard shooting numbers for Sergio Rodriguez, let alone for the second best Shooting Guard in the NBA.

With the score tied 76-76 at the end of 3, Laker honcho Phil Jackson stepped up with ESPN sideline reporter Doris Burke for the mandatory coach's interview. She asked: with Wade having a substandard night, how was Miami managing to stay in the game? "It's a very uneven game," the always snarky PJ replied, "neither team seems able to be able to get into rhythm. A lot of stoppages in play, ESPN has these really long commercials..." Ha ha!

This game was all about the finale, so let's get down to it. Lakers seemed to have this thing under control midway through the 4th, up 9 points. "MVP! MVP!" chants for Kobe rained down from the hardcore fans in the Staples Center rafters. 

Then it came off the rails for the Lakers. First Lamar Odom swiped his powerful left arm down in an attempt to block a shot and wound up poking his teammate Pau Gasol in the eye. On the bench poor Pau looked like Popeye at a funeral, tears running from his swollen and squinting left eye. A minute later, Jermaine O'Neal dunked over LO and hung on the rim, swinging onto Odom's back in the process. LO took offense and dished out a shove; double technicals were levied. This meant it was time for Lamar's shower as he had already been T'd up earlier in the evening. Popeye the PF was thrust back into the game.

The Heat smelled the opportunity to steal one and they ratcheted up the effort, quickly pulling even, Wade getting hot and making like a superstar. Miami was up by 4 with 21.9 seconds to play and the Lakers were forced to play foul ball. When Wade nailed a pair with 9.3 seconds to go it looked like ballgame, the Heat holding their 4 point lead. PJ called time.

Pressure was lacking and the ball came in easily to Pau, who dished to Fisher at the arc — and he found nothing but net with a big time 3 over Chalmers with 4.3 on the clock. The Heat called time, moving the ball to the forecourt, and Wade was fouled with 3.2 remaining. Wade missed the first, made the second, and the Lakers took their final time out to advance the ball, down just 2 points.

With the game on the line, Artest managed to force the ball in to Kobe, who faded sideways and chucked up a tightly contested 25-foot prayer at the horn. The ball banked in. "What can I say?" Kobe honestly noted in the postgame interview, "I just hit a lucky shot." Eight wins in a row: Lakers 108, Heat 107.

 

Saturday, Dec. 5, 2009.

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Houston Rockets (11-8) at Portland Trail Blazers (12-8).

When I write these stupid little recaps, I always start by writing a little lead before tip-off. That initial paragraph usually ends up getting changed or eliminated altogether, but it makes a good placeholder until the action takes place. For the record, here was my placeholder lead for this game:

This game pitted a group of plucky, hustling overachievers against a group of bloated, excuse-making overhyped young superstars seemingly incapable of playing as a team. (I can't tell you how much I prefer the good old days 12 months ago when the Blazers were the plucky, hustling overachievers...)

Well, on this night there was a catastrophic event which somehow made it possible for us fans to find our plucky, hustling overachievers once again.

If the Blazers are to succeed in 2009/10 without their Oden, it will be by starting to resemble the Houston Rockets every night — playing hard always, playing defense always, passing the ball always, coming together as a team always. We'll see if it happens. They do still have sufficient tools for a successful season.

After the conclusion of this contest Portland Trail Blazer play-by-play announcer Mike Barrett noted that there were a total of 28 lead changes and 15 ties in this game — a fact that will probably come as a great surprise to most Blazer fans who watched this one, shellshocked and feeling crushed by the world as they were. The Blazers played a tough team tough. Good for them.

Best win of the year for Portland in some ways, thank god that Aaron Brooks missed that last shot at the horn after blowing past Binky Blake like he was a scarecrow. Blazers 90, Rockets 89.


Well, let's take a look at the Popcorn Machine GAME FLOW SUMMARY to see what we can see. Please give that link a little click, pozhalysta.

Observation 1: Rockets went on a 19-5 run in the 2nd Quarter that felt like the end of the universe for Blazer basketball. But they managed to right the ship.

Observation 2: Rex's appearance at the end of the game was of the nature of a cameo rather than that of an actual supporting cast member. Still, if there was a planned strategy in play, Adelman's Rockets were attacking Blake during the last few possessions.

Observation 3: I didn't realize that the Inferno got any run at all until I saw the chart. Five minutes for him. The eye must have been an issue.

Observation 4: Carl Landry was a stud off the bench for Houston, racking up 23 points. But Our Andre topped him, putting in 24 for the Blazers as their 6th man, including 16 of 'em in the 3rd Quarter alone.

Observation 5: Rex had 13 points in 21 minutes and was a game high +12 in the stat that the statboys hate the most, single game +/-. I prefer to see it as indicative of something...

 

Well, enough of that. Now please make yourself a newspaper hat, pull it on, and join me in watching the latest installment of THE GREATEST THING IN THE WORLD.

 

And here is Thursday's episode, just in case you missed it...

 

And now for the real point of this exercise, clips and clicks from the journalists and bloggers of Rocketland...

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(1)

Game Thread Comments

posted to The Dream Shake (SBN)

ouch
another year gone for Oden?

by Metalate on Dec 5, 2009 7:26 PM PST

 

Kudos to the Rockets staff for being the first to help
That's when you know it's pretty ugly, when the staff from the opposing team sprints faster than your own can get from their end of floor.

by Norsktroll on Dec 5, 2009 7:39 PM PST

 

That sucks big time, poor bloke can't catch a break

by DREAM34 on Dec 5, 2009 8:59 PM PST

 

(2)

A Couple More Dream Shake Game Thread Comments


You just never get sick of freaking Brandon Roy miracle shots. Never.

by Xiane on Dec 5, 2009 9:36 PM PS

 

Brooks ends up on the deck, maybe I can get a screen cap of Blake's arm on his..

ah well — screw it. After Oden got hurt Portland remembered who their superstar is.

by Xiane on Dec 5, 2009 9:39 PM PST

 

(3)

Unstoppable Roy Drops Rockets: Blazers star scores 28, including game-winner

by Jonathan Feigen, Houston Chronicle

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On three-consecutive possessions, Landry grabbed the rebound of missed Rockets shots, drawing fouls and hitting free throws. Roy, however, kept answering. * * *

"He's a great player, an All-Star," Ariza said. "At the end of the game when it counted, he stepped up big. I think I played great defense, but it was better offense."

Roy made his shot after nearly losing in the ball and then barely sliding past Hayes, launching just before he landed and getting the roll.

"He left his feet," Hayes said. "I'm thinking, ‘Just get there early, try to get the charge.' He had great body control and avoided it, jumped to the side. He got the shot up there and got the bounce. He avoided me. I was there early, waiting for him. He did a great job avoiding me." * * *

 

(4)

Blazers 90, Rockets 89: A tough loss and a much tougher one. (And more on McGrady, too.)

by Jonathan Feigen, Houston Chronicle Rockets blog

Rockets coach Rick Adelman could have sent an early double-team. He could have gotten the ball out of Brandon Roy's hands and made someone hit the open shot a little ball movement surely would have found. * * *

There is a reason his teams have been so good for so long late in games. It is the reason the Rockets chose him to succeed Jeff Van Gundy in the first place.

Adelman steps in when he believes he should and has some very strong opinions about many things, but his inclination is always to put his players in position to do what they do best.

He could have made the game about a coaching decision. He made it about players. * * *

 

(5)

Thoughts on Rockets 89 - Trailblazers 90

by Xiane, The Dream Shake (SBN)

* * *
The Rockets lost the game on yet another Brandon Roy last second miracle shot. Does he do this to anyone else or just save it for the Rockets? The Blazers, on the other hand, lost Greg Oden for the year. I'd say the Blazer's loss was worse.

Houston got beaten by one, on the road in one of the toughest places to play, by a team rallying around its superstar after a terrible event. Let's not make a meal of this one. I honestly think we win this one if Oden doesn't get hurt.

Andre Miller did what he can often do — fool you into thinking he's a great player. He's not, but he saved Portland's bacon in the 3rd when the Rockets looked like running away with the game. * * *

 

(6)

Greg Oden

posted by "Saleem" to Clutch Fans message board

Horrifying.

Rocket fans can relate to it since Yao has had repeated injuries as well. Unfortunately for Greg,it's come even earlier for him.

He was playing well when he went down. Hopefully with more modern medical treatment and better rehab,he can make a strong, sustained comeback.

 

(7)

Oden

posted by "B-Bob" to Clutch Fans message board

Man oh man, that is some terrible news for Portland.

Their roster now looks like that 8th-10th seed in the West for the next 5 years. Yuck.

 

(8)

Oden's Knee

posted by "Yak" to Clutch Fans message board

For those of you wanting more confirmation.

Here's a pic (not Greg's, obviously, but similar) of a fractured patella:

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And here's a pic of Greg during his injury:

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(10)

Why Ariza?

posted by "T-Mac for MVP" to RealGM Rockets message board game thread

* * *
I didn't get why Ariza was on Roy for that final couple of possessions. It wasn't just once, or twice, but Roy consistently got around Ariza, and that killed us on the last couple of possessions. Granted Roy is just that good, we could have contained his dribble penetration better.

 

The Bottom Line:

1. Sorry about your Center, Portland... We Rockets fans understand.

2. Why does Brandon Roy always do that stuff to us?!?!?!?!?!?