Mister Stat man, I like our team

And it’s the toughest that I've ever seen

We got jump shots like roses and clover

I can’t believe my lonesome nights are over

Stat man, we’re in a zone

Though we’ve got injuries, and knees to get cloned

Please turn on your magic beam

Mister Stat man, mend us our team

Mister Stat man, I like our team

Make it the greatest that I've ever seen

Give them the word, that I like our roster

Then tell them that their lonesome nights are over

Mister Stat man, I like our team

Give them some eyes, with a give and go gleam

Give them a winning heart like “That was naaaaaasty”

And lots of victories would be fantastic

Mister Stat man, trophy to hold

Would be so peachy before we're too old

So please turn on your magic beam

Mister Stat man, mend us

Please, please, please

Mister Stat man, bring us a dream