Mister Stat man, I like our team
And it’s the toughest that I've ever seen
We got jump shots like roses and clover
I can’t believe my lonesome nights are over
Stat man, we’re in a zone
Though we’ve got injuries, and knees to get cloned
Please turn on your magic beam
Mister Stat man, mend us our team
Mister Stat man, I like our team
Make it the greatest that I've ever seen
Give them the word, that I like our roster
Then tell them that their lonesome nights are over
Mister Stat man, I like our team
Give them some eyes, with a give and go gleam
Give them a winning heart like “That was naaaaaasty”
And lots of victories would be fantastic
Mister Stat man, trophy to hold
Would be so peachy before we're too old
So please turn on your magic beam
Mister Stat man, mend us
Please, please, please
Mister Stat man, bring us a dream