Don't push me cause, I'm close to the Ledge (Blazers song)

Sometimes the best way to deal with grief and beat down is through art. Here is my homage to Grandmaster Flash, The Sugar Hill Gang and this horrible, HORRIBLE season.



If you want to repost this elsewhere please give me credit. Without further ado:



"Bill Simmons Delight"



by the Sugar Bill Gang (Aka Idog1976 aka Ian)



Or



"The Therapeutic Massage"



by Grandmaster Flesh Wound (Aka Idog1976 aka Ian)



Coach Nate Dogg:



I said a hip hop the hippie to the hip hip hop

A you dont stop the rock it to the bang bang boogie



I say up jumped the injury boogie

and left and right the knees go kablooie



To the rhythm of the boogie, the beat down commencing

It’s as though the god of injury can’t stop dispensing.



To the black and red and the white it’s true,

And now the whole of Blazer nation is blue.



Now what you hear is not a test--Blazers getting beat it’s an injury fest!

And that jack-hole Bill Simmons is puffing out his chest.



See the Blazers rock but the injuries got em beat

I really can’t stand to read Canzano’s tweets.



See i am wondering Is Durant mike and GO that Bowie fellow?

I like to say hello to the black, to the white, the red and the brown, the purple and Yellow.



You see that’s the Blazer colors with some serious bruise action,

There ain’t one single rip city fan getting any satisfaction.



But first i gotta bang bang the boogie to the boogie

say up jump the injury boogie to the bang bang kneecap Kablooie!



Let's rock, you dont stop rock the riddle

Something in our water makes your body so damn brittle



Chorus: Don't push me cause I'm close to the ledge

I'm trying not to read Blazers Edge, ah huh-huh-huh [2nd and 5th: ah huh-huh-huh] [4th: say what?]



The NBA is like David Sterns jungle sometimes it makes me wonder

just what the NBA refs are betting on the over/under



The NBA is like David Sterns jungle sometimes it makes me wonder

what the NBA refs are betting on the over/under



Well so far youve heard my voice but i brought some friends along

To help sing the song.

and next on the mike is my man Steve Blake

Here’s one guy who wants that cake to bake!



Steve Blake:



Check it out, i'm the coach c-a-s-an-the-o-v-a

and Nate he loves me as a point guard playa



ya see i go by the code of the doctor of the fix

On David Stern’s orders Nate keeps me in the mix.



Ya see i'm six foot one and i'm tons of fun

and as far as injury free I’m the only one.



Ya see the teams been beat worse then old muhammad ali

and the injury bug bites so damn viciously!



We got body casts, i got ten big surgery scars

we got major injuries to most of our stars!



I got a lincoln continental and a sunroof Cadillac

and just watched Oden’s kneecap get whacked.



You know you can’t blame the docs or Corey Maggette,

That poor motha f’er’s got tendons of spaghetti.



Chorus: Don't push me cause I'm close to the ledge

I'm trying not to read Blazers Edge, ah huh-huh-huh [2nd and 5th: ah huh-huh-huh] [4th: say what?]



The NBA is like David Sterns jungle sometimes it makes me wonder just what the NBA refs are betting on the over/under





The NBA is like David Sterns jungle sometimes it makes me wonder what the NBA refs are betting on the over/under





Now I gotta pass the mike to my boy KP

Talk about one sorry S.O.B



Kevin Pritchard:



My name is Kevin and once upon a time in 2007, I thought I had landed in GM heaven





The balls they bounced in just the right way,

It was like Ron Jeremy back in the day.



So what do we do, take the no brainer 7 footer,

Or the baby faced bean pole who seemed like a killer?



Well you can honk once or you can honk twice,

But at the end of the day big Paul Allen he buys my rice.



With that said the friendly giant we took,

And now I should be getting a cut from Bill Simmons next book.



The rest as you know is history,

I sure hope someone takes a bat to Bill Simmons knees.



Chorus: Don't push me cause I'm close to the ledge

I'm trying not to read Blazers Edge, ah huh-huh-huh [2nd and 5th: ah huh-huh-huh] [4th: say what?]



The NBA is like David Sterns jungle sometimes it makes me wonder

just what the NBA refs are betting on the over/under



The NBA is like David Sterns jungle sometimes it makes me wonder

just what the NBA refs are betting on the over/under



Now I gotta give it up to my man GO.

A hard luck brother who’s gonna give it a go.



He’s a real class act a top shelf bro,

But cruel ass fate has treated him like a ho.



Greg Oden:



Well it's on n on n on on n on

the injury beat dont stop until the break of dawn



I said m-a-s, t-e-r, to the G with a big fat O i said i go by the unforgettable name

but it makes me sick to say that bad luck is what has got me the most fame.



Well, my name is known all over the world, by all the foxy nurses and the pretty surgeons,

Looks like I got plenty of time this season to go fishing for some sturgeons.



I'm goin go down in history

as the unluckiest mofo when it comes to Knees.



Now i'm feelin the highs and ya I’m feelin the lows

I can’t take the court feel like I’m letting down my bros.



Chorus: Don't push me cause I'm close to the ledge

I'm trying not to read Blazers Edge, ah huh-huh-huh [2nd and 5th: ah huh-huh-huh] [4th: say what?]



The NBA is like David Sterns jungle sometimes it makes me wonder

just what the NBA refs are betting on the over/under



The NBA is like David Sterns jungle sometimes it makes me wonder

just what the NBA refs are betting on the over/under



When I look around I see broken bones everywhere

People pissing on my dreams, you know they just don't care



I can't take this hell, I can't take the noise no more

I feel like a god damn media whore.



They use me and abuse me from beginning to end,

Kick me when I’m down no time to mend.



At first they put me up on a pedestal,

Only to rip me down and treat me like hell.



What did I do to Simmons and Cowherd

To get spit on by them media cowards?



You’d think I’d killed the Sports Guy’s mom,

Cause every single article has a GO bomb.



He can’t let it rest, punk puffs out his chest,

Thinks he some kind of later day Nostradamus.



Simmons is a punk and Cowherd is worse,

Every little hangnail and they’re calling for a hearse.



The damndest luck, the freakish kneecap split,

And every damn day sports writer garbage they spit.



But karma comes and karma goes,

Sooner or later it will come back on those ho’s.



When you laugh when a guy blows out his knee,

You know when karma pays you back it won’t be pretty.



Whether it’s Greg Oden, Andrew Bynum or Blake Griffin,

That stupid Celtics fan is always celebratin’.



But you know what happens when you spew that hate?

All you are doing is flipping off fate.



It might take a month it might take a year,

But sooner or later Simmons will take it in the rear.



Got no health to move about, I guess I got no choice

And stupid A** B****s listening to Colin Cowherds stupid voice.



Colin came from Rip City back in the day,

Now he hates on us to make his pay.



I tell you what Colin go ahead and laugh it up,

When it comes to bad karma creating you got a full cup.



Rats in the press room, coaches in the back

Internet bloggers in the alley with the sportswriter baseball bat



I tried to ball all day so I could be a star

But you know man this injury bullshit has gone way too far.



You know this team really needs a boon,

No choice now but to shoot da moon.



Since half our team is unable to ball,

I’m really hoping that we land John Wall.



Chorus: Don't push me cause I'm close to the ledge

I'm trying not to read Blazers Edge, ah huh-huh-huh [2nd and 5th: ah huh-huh-huh] [4th: say what?] The NBA is like David Sterns jungle sometimes it makes me wonder

just what the NBA refs are betting on the over/under



The NBA is like David Sterns jungle sometimes it makes me wonder

just what the NBA refs are betting on the over/under